Perceptions
by FyreBrande
Summary: Another LSFRevanxCarth fanfic...starts midgame, will probably go past the end, but not sure yet. Rated T for safety. The characters & large portions of dialogue do not belong to me, they belong to Bioware and LucasArts. Enjoy! 12-13-11: Chapter 34 up!
1. Of Selkath, Sith, and Paranoid Pilots

Perceptions

Looking back, he wasn't sure when his perception changed, when he first started thinking of her as anything other then a fellow soldier, when he first saw her as more than just the sassy, grey-eyed woman with short, unruly black hair constantly falling in her eyes. When he first felt the faintest attraction to her. Maybe it had been that first time he called her 'beautiful', without even thinking about it, really. The fire sparking in her eyes as she sputtered that that wasn't her name had been priceless. Definitely worth being called a handsome thug. Or maybe it had been watching her in action after she became a Jedi. Or on Tatooine when he'd apologized for being a royal pain in the backside and she'd teasingly demanded a kiss to earn her acceptance. Or maybe--

"Carth! Little help!" Carth snapped out of his musings and dragged his attention off memories of Kenna Tasman and on to the roomful of Sith troopers behind the door said Jedi Guardian had just bashed open. Carth dove into the fray, going after one of the three heavy troopers attacking Kenna. Kenna's double bladed blue lightsaber hummed dangerously closer to his left ear and Carth flinched. He refrained from demanding she watch where she swung that thing; the room wasn't nearly big enough for the all-out brawl he and the two Jedi were slowly winning. Finally, the last trooper fell, hole through his breastplate still smoking. Kenna smirked in satisfaction and twirled the hilt of her lightsaber around her hand before hooking it back on her belt. "Hey, Juhani, think you could handling healing this time? That lieutenant resisted much longer than I thought he would." The Cathar nodded, and seconds later, the cool, silvery healing energy flowed through the three of them.

Carth sheathed the Echani Foil and Krath Dire Sword Kenna had "salvaged", as she put it, off fallen enemies for him. That woman was the first person in he couldn't remember how long to toss him a vibroblade instead of a blaster. When she'd seen how good he was, she raised an eyebrow and commented on how he was full of surprises. Carth hadn't mentioned that he'd surprised himself. It had been so long since he used anything other than a blaster. He shook his head when he realized his mind was wandering--again. "Hey, Kenna, don't you think we should head back to the Republic Embassy? We got what we came for." He gestured toward the data module poking out of the salvage pack the tall Jedi carried.

Kenna shook her head. "I want to see if I can find those Selkath young Shaelas was wondering about. Maybe I can convince them to leave the Sith."

"Lead on." Carth rolled his shoulder, trying to get the blasted Mandalorian battle armor to sit right. _What did I expect from something Mandalorian? _Kenna reached over and slid the shoulder guard up for him. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." Something flickered in her eyes when her gloved hand accidentally brushed the side of his face as she pulled back. Carth didn't dwell on it. Instead, he pulled the image of Morgana into his mind's eye again, as he did any time he felt anything even approaching attraction to the raven-haired leader of their team stir inside himself. Since landing on Manaan, he'd found himself doing that a lot. Much as it felt like betraying his wife, Carth had to admit he was finding himself more and more attracted to Kenna every step of the journey.

They found their way past the huge, glowing force field and into the back part of the Sith base, thanks to Kenna's persistence. Upon finding the young Selkath, however, the indomitable Kenna faced another obstacle: convincing obstinate Selkath youth the Sith really were evil. Shasa, in particular, refused to believe her without hard proof. Carth could feel the frustration rising off the poor woman as she turned on the heel of one boot and stomped toward one of the other closed doors, muttering something comparing Selkath youth to Gamorreans in terms of brains. He chuckled and followed her. He couldn't help but admire the grace with which she walked. And fought, for that matter.

Kenna whirled, catching him by surprise. "Why are you watching me?"

"Huh?" Surprise, and shame at being caught, robbed him of a more intelligent-sounding answer.

Kenna rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Carth, if you were any more obvious about it, your eyes would fall out of your head."

He blushed. "Aw, I'm not _that_ bad. Am I?"

Kenna chuckled at the tone of alarm in his voice._ He's kinda cute when he's blushing…Oh, honestly! Stop that!!_ she scolded herself. She had a mission to focus on, she couldn't be distracted by developing feelings for anyone, especially someone who would be a traveling companion for who knew how long. _Especially a _handsome_ someone… Stop that!!!_ "Relax, Carth. I'm just kidding. I'm still curious, though."

Carth's mind raced as he tried to come up with a reply that wouldn't get him thrown over the edge of Ahto City next chance she got. "At any rate, I wasn't ogling you, I've just been…admiring you. I've been watching you in action, your skill…you have a natural talent that's incredible."

It was Kenna's turn to blush. "Thank you. Any other observations?"

Carth chuckled. "A few. But I'll keep those to myself, thank you." The look on her face was priceless.

"I don't mind, y'know," she admitted easily, eyeing him from behind the strands of hair falling in her face. "It's just so fun to give you a hard time."

Carth tried to suppress thoughts of kissing that smirk off her face, only half successfully. "I wish you would have told me that sooner. It would have saved me a lot of trouble," he ribbed right back. The look Kenna gave him had the normally quiet Juhani collapsing against the wall fighting a laugh. "I'm only kidding, gorgeous. You're just as fun to mess with." Kenna straightened her spine and stomped toward the room that had been her original goal. Carth grinned and followed her.

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They found a datapad that had proof for Shasa, a plot to overthrow the Manaan government, in the Sith Master's bedroom, after fighting the Master and two Selkath apprentices Kenna was reluctant to kill. "It won't really help my case that I mean them no harm if I go around killing them remorselessly," she pointed out. Carth had to concede she was right.

The datapad convinced Shasa and the others to leave, Shasa swearing to warn the rest of her friends and the authorities of the Sith plot and the threat it posed. As the Jedi and her companions followed them out the door, Selkath authorities detained Kenna for breaking the neutrality and attacking the Sith base. She dismissed her arbiter and argued her own case, an act the arbiter called suicidal, but he didn't know Kenna. She showed the court the datapad with the details of the Sith plot to corrupt the youth of Manaan in order to eventually take over the government. They let her go.

She found Carth and Juhani and they headed back to the mercenary enclave so Kenna could tell Shaelas she'd found his daughter. As they headed for the door, after refusing to accept payment, Kenna paused. She could feel that Carth wanted to say something to her, but was hesitating. A look back over her shoulder confirmed it. "Hey, Carth?"

"Yes? What's on your mind?" he asked, distracted by something, she wasn't sure what.

"You look like you want to say something."

"Oh, you can tell, can you?" He raised one eyebrow, teasing smile on his face.

_Alright, he asked for it._ "Well, you keep drooling every time you look at me," Kenna retorted, "That's a sign, I think."

Carth shook his head. "Oh, yeah? Well, listen, beautiful, I don't need to take this abuse. I get enough female Jedi bashing from Bastila, thank you very much."

Kenna grinned fiendishly. _Left me a hole I could fly the _Hawk _through,_ she smirked. "Oh, so there's something between you and Bastila." His expression…_Oh, Force, my kingdom for a holorecorder!_

"What?! No! I mean…no! Don't be crazy!" the pilot sputtered, incredulity robbing him of the ability to form coherent sentences. Kenna nearly laughed.

"Oh, so someone would have to be crazy to like Bastila? I'll have to tell her that," she threatened, with no intention of following through.

"Oh, no you don't. I'd have to shoot you down first, and I'm not kidding," Carth chuckled. His expression turned serious. "Anyway…as fun, uh, as this is, I do have to talk to you about something serious. _Really_ serious. Uh, is this a good time?"

Kenna nodded, sobering up for his sake. "This is fine."

Carth rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "Alright, I'm, uh…I'm concerned about you. I've been keeping these thoughts to myself mostly, but I think it's time I say something."

"What's this about?" Kenna leaned against the waist-high wall overlooking the ocean.

"It's about you." Carth met her gaze, the sincerity in his eyes impossible to ignore. "I'm worried about what might happen to you. You have a lot of courage, and the fact that you've remained strong is amazing, but there's even greater danger ahead. I think you might be setting yourself up for a fall. Maybe at the urging of the Jedi, I don't know…but you're definitely going to become a target. If, uh...if I'm going to find some purpose beyond taking revenge on Saul, then it's going to have to be in protecting you. I don't know why, but I think some terrible fate is waiting for you. I think the Jedi Council knows it, too. And I don't want that to come to pass."

Kenna felt a chill dance down her spine. Something told her he was right, but still, "You think the Jedi have thrown me to the wolves?" she asked skeptically. _He's just being paranoid. As usual._

"Don't chalk it up to my paranoia just yet," Carth insisted, raising his hands in a gesture of protest as if he'd read her mind, "_Something_ isn't right. I blamed it on you, before, but I…I think the Jedi didn't tell us everything. If I'm going to live past Saul, I need you to as well. Let me protect you…from yourself, from the Sith…you have to let me try."

Kenna was nearly left speechless by the earnestness of his plea. "Why…why are you doing this?"

His eyes drilled to her soul. "Because…because I never got the chance to save my wife and son. Because I didn't stop Saul when I had the chance. Because I _finally_ have the chance to do it right." He hesitated for a second before continuing, "You are an extraordinary woman…you make me think that maybe--" _Just maybe--_ "I might have some purpose beyond revenge. I…I don't know whether it means anything to you…but it does to me."

_He's so sweet! No! Don't even go there, Kenna Tasman!! _Thoughts all in a muddle, Kenna managed to reply, "It…it means a lot to me, Carth. Thank you." She smiled at him.

Carth sighed in relief. "I'm glad to hear it. I'll do my best," he promised. That resolved, they headed for the Republic Embassy to give the diplomat the data module and see what he knew about the Star Map. They ended up down in an underwater research station battling insane Selkath. When one of them got off a lucky stun grenade, Carth got to make good on his promise to protect Kenna. She was only out of it for a few seconds, but the Selkath still went after her. So Carth went after them. Kenna recovered and threw herself into the fight in time to kill a couple of them. After fighting every living thing, and a few droids, in the station, Kenna pulled on the environment suit and stepped through the pressure door alone, leaving Carth to pace and mutter to himself until she returned while Juhani waited patiently.

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Kenna made her way cautiously through the water, checking for firaxin sharks every few seconds. _Carth's paranoia is rubbing off on me, _she complained to herself. She made to the other part of the station alive and in one piece, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. After talking the scientists in the base out of killing her, Kenna headed for the kolto harvester control panel. Kono was very persuasive, but she had to agree with Sami. It would be better to destroy the harvester. Upon reaching the panel, Kenna fiddled with the controls until the tank contained 4 units sangen and the machinery was destroyed. She tromped past it, smirking with satisfaction behind her face shield. The Star Map sat just across the bridge in front of her. She crossed, uploaded the data, and headed back to her companions.

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Carth couldn't contain a sigh of relief when Kenna clambered back through the airlock, triumphant grin announcing her success. He knew she could handle herself, but he liked to worry.

"Well, let's go. Next stop, Kashyyyk." Kenna headed out the door.

"Right behind you," Carth chuckled.

They were almost back to the submersible when they ran into trouble. Malak's apprentice, Darth Bandon, waited behind the second to last door. _Why did I think it would be easy? You'd think I would have learned by now…_ Carth lectured himself as he shook his head and unsheathed his swords. Next to him, Kenna and Juhani's lightsabers hummed to life.

The three would have been hard enough to beat just in combat. When you added the fact one of Bandon's 'minion's' seemed to have a deep love affair with Force Wave and Choke, they became nearly impossible. Finally, one of Juhani's attempts at Stasis Field actually landed on the two weaker Sith, and they froze in place. Kenna sucked some health out of Bandon, then healed Carth and Juhani. The three of them concentrated on the Sith apprentice until, after three attempts to drain life from them, the man fell to Kenna's 'saber. Ignoring the body on the ground, Kenna and Juhani turned their attention to one of the just now recovering Sith. Carth went after the other one, hoping they could kill both before he had to endure _another_ Force Choke. No such luck. Kenna and Juhani's Sith was already half-dead before they got to him, so he went down quickly enough. But of _course _the one left to the only non-Jedi of the three of them was hardly injured. Carth would have been cursing the Sith--if he wasn't trying so hard to breathe. Kenna noticed, snarled, and slammed one blade of her lightsaber into the man's back. His eyes started to roll back, and in one last act of desperation, the dying Sith pulled off another Force Wave. Juhani resisted, and Kenna had her back to the hallway to the submersible dock, so there wasn't much for her to hit, she just went tumbling. Carth went flying full-force into a wall. He sat up rubbing a new bruise on the back of his head. _You're doing a great job protecting her, Onasi,_ he berated himself as the stars faded and the disorientation wore off.

"You okay?" Kenna offered him a hand up. Carth sighed, nodded, and accepted the help. "Hey, Carth?" He turned his attention away from his tender scalp and to her. "Don't beat yourself up." She smiled. "That's an order."

He couldn't stay mad, even at himself, around her. That smile… "Yes, ma'am." He playfully saluted her.

"Oh, you…" Kenna bopped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Ow!" Carth pulled off the shoulder guard and glared at the nasty lightsaber scorch mark singeing across his skin. "That's new," he muttered. _Guess I didn't duck fast as I thought I did._

"Let me." Kenna rested one hand on the wound, pressing gently. Carth welcomed the familiar, cool touch of the Force Heal she channeled, more because it distracted him from the feel of her hand on his arm than for any other reason. She'd found new gloves in the Sith base; fingerless Eriadu strength amplifiers, and there was nothing between her skin and his. He was trying his best to ignore that fact, but his best was coming up just a tad short.

"Think you'll ever share the stories behind any of these with me?" Kenna asked softly, tracing one of the older scars on the pilot's shoulder before--reluctantly-- pulling her hand back.

"Maybe." Carth shrugged the shoulder guard back on. "When we're not being chased all across the galaxy by a crazed, Jedi-hating Sith Lord while trying to find ancient artifacts to stop said Sith Lord." He grinned at her.

Kenna rolled her eyes. "Don't get cute."

"Too late," Carth teased, hastily stepping out of arm's reach.

"That's so old," Kenna pointed out, silently agreeing nevertheless. "C'mon, we should get going."

"Yes, if Malak sent his apprentice after us, he must be truly desperate," Juhani agreed. They headed for the submersible and ascended to the surface.

After a brief stop to inform the Republic diplomat of the condition of his research team and kolto harvester, Kenna planned to head straight for the _Ebon Hawk_ and sleep all the way to Kashyyyk. The Selkath had other plans. Somehow they found out something had happened underwater, and she had to stand trial _again_. Fortunately, her decision to destroy the kolto harvester instead of killing the humongous Firaxin shark was the "right one" as far as the Selkath were concerned. They let her go--again. Kenna once again found Carth and Juhani waiting for her, then wearily led the way back to the _Hawk_. When she stumbled slightly over an uneven rivet in the boarding ramp, Carth rested one hand on her back to steady her. Kenna looked over and smiled her thanks at him. They both looked up at the sound of a throat clearing. Bastila stood at the top of the ramp, arms crossed, disapproving glare darkening her eyes. _Oh, no. Why her? Why not Mission? Or Canderous? Why Bastila???_ Kenna closed her eyes and groaned internally. "Bastila, I'm tired, and I want to sleep," she muttered as the Padawan followed her toward the bunk room. Carth made a beeline for the cockpit. _Thanks a lot, Onasi._

"We need to talk first. Or shall I just use our Force bond to find the answers to my questions?" Bastila raised an eyebrow at Kenna's alarmed expression. "Keeping secrets?"

"N-No," Kenna stammered, collapsing on her bunk and staring at the floor. "Just a few things I think you might…misinterpret or something."

"Jedi are forbidden to love." Bastila steadied herself against the wall as the _Hawk_ lifted off.

"So?" Kenna tried desperately to empty her mind, block the Force bond.

"I have eyes, Kenna Tasman. I saw the way--"

"Carth likes to worry. Maybe it's a side effect of his trust issues, I don't know. He always jumps to worst case scenarios."

" My perception is quite different. He certainly seems to trust you. And the feeling seems to be mutual."

"It is. But there's nothing beyond mutual trust, and him feeling some driving need to protect me. I guess he's convinced I'm extremely important to saving the Republic or something." Kenna lay back and closed her eyes.

"Nothing romantic?"

"Nothing," Kenna promised. _Yet_.

"Do you want there to be?" Bastila demanded, settling on the one question Kenna had been desperately hoping she wouldn't ask.

She opened one eye. "No," she lied. _Force forgive me, but I do not need her breathing down my neck._ Bastila reluctantly accepted the one syllable answer and left, resolve to interrogate their pilot scrawled across her face. Kenna groaned and tried to get to sleep. She hoped Carth could lie better than she could.

Kenna was staring at the ceiling when the rap on the door came a few minutes later. "Who is it?" she mumbled, half asleep.

"Carth."

"Come in," she called, swinging her legs over the edge of the bunk and sitting up. "What's up?" The poor man looked so out of his depth it nearly made her laugh. "You can sit next to me," she pointed out when he leaned against the wall. "I don't bite, I promise."

"Thanks, beautiful. Very reassuring." He sat next to her, but not too close, she noticed.

"Bastila jump down your throat, too?" Kenna asked after the silence stretched on long enough.

He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "Told me to stay away from you, not distract you. Then she asked me if there was anything romantic between us."

"What did you tell her?" _Please, please, please…_

""Nothing. True enough. But then she asked if I wanted there to be something."

"And?" Kenna held her breath. If their answers on this weren't the same, Bastila would never shut up.

"I told her no."

"So did I," Kenna admitted, rubbing her arm and staring at a scratch on the floor.

Carth gently pulled her chin up so she was looking at him. "I lied."

Kenna grinned. "So did I," she whispered. _Oh, Force, his smile…if I could get one of those every day…_ "Go fly the ship. We can figure things out on Kashyyyk. Far away from a certain Jedi princess."

"Good plan, gorgeous." Carth kissed her gently on the forehead and left.


	2. Hour Long Minutes

Kenna was awakened rather abruptly when the _Hawk_ shuddered and bucked under the assault of a much larger ship's guns. She tumbled out of bed and rolled into the opposite wall. She shook off the dizziness and bolted for the cockpit. "What's going on?"

"Sith Interdictor ship," Carth replied, eyes not leaving the readout screens, hands flying over the controls. "We're caught in their tractor beam. They must've been waiting for us in the hyperspace route." His hands dropped off the controls, options apparently exhausted.

"Do you recognize the ship?" Bastila asked, looking over.

"It's the _Leviathan. _Saul Karath's vessel. My old mentor." Carth crossed his arms and stared out into space with a look halfway between sorrow and rage in his eyes. They gathered the crew in the main hold, and Carth detailed who Karath was and what he had done. Bastila pointed out that, while she, Carth, and Kenna would be closely guarded, it was doubtful the Admiral knew how many people were on the _Hawk_. One of the others could free them.

"You're right." Kenna turned. "Mission, think you can handle this?"

The Twi'lek grinned. "If I can goad one of the guards into to gettin' really mad, maybe they'll put me in solitary and I can escape from there."

"Sounds good to me. Let's do it." Kenna knew Juhani's stealth abilities, or Canderous' cybernetic implant, would be at least as capable. But this was something she wanted Mission to do.

"Hold on, they're pulling us in," Carth cautioned as the _Hawk _rocked under their feet. Kenna winked at Mission.

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Sure enough, Carth, Kenna, and Bastila were separated from the rest of the crew almost before their feet hit the hanger floor. Stripped of their armor and weapons, the three were imprisoned in torture cages to wait for Admiral Karath.

When the Admiral arrived, Kenna felt Carth bristle just being in the same room as the man. _Please, please don't do anything stupid, handsome. Please._ Karath attempted to dismiss the bombardment of Telos as an unavoidable act of war. Even across a room and through the energy fields that formed their cages, Kenna could see the disbelief and anger on Carth's face.

"It was a cowardly act of betrayal," Carth countered angrily, "Your fleet bombed a _civilian_ target into oblivion without warning or provocation. And the blood of those innocent people is on _your_ hands!"

Karath shrugged cavalierly. "In war even the innocent must die. The Sith would not accept me until I proved I had truly turned my back on the Republic by bombing the planet." He said it as if that excused his actions. Kenna felt disgust rising in her chest. _A whole planet…_

"My wife died in that attack, Saul," Carth growled, voice low and dangerous, "And for that, I swear I'll kill you."

Karath snorted. "You used to be a man of action, not empty words," he chuckled derisively. "Cling to your lust for revenge if you must, but spare me your tired threats. I've heard them all before. You're an insignificant part of theses events, anyway. Lord Malak is far more interested in your Jedi companions. He has great plans for them."

"We will never serve Malak or the dark side!" Bastila retorted forcefully. "The Sith will be destroyed, Admiral Karath…as will you if you don't turn away from this path."

Karath chuckled. "Your words are brave, Bastila, but the lure of the dark side is hard to resist--or so I've been told. I wonder if your companion is as devoted to the light as you are?" He looked over at Kenna, eyebrows raised.

"You're wasting your time, Saul. I'll never betray the Jedi!" Kenna insisted.

The Admiral chuckled again. "You're defiant. I'm certain Malak will find your loyalty to the Jedi amusing. The Dark Lord would probably reward me if I just killed you once and for all. But he may want to question you given the trouble you've caused him… and the history between you."

"History? What are you talking about?" Kenna demanded, bewildered.

"You mean…oh, this can't be true, can it?" Karath laughed. "You really don't know what's going on here, do you?" He smirked. "Well, I won't be the one to deprive Malak of the pleasure of telling you himself. The Dark Lord will no doubt torture you for information and his own twisted pleasure."

"No doubt," Kenna muttered.

"Eventually you will tell him everything. The Sith can be very persuasive. However, Lord Malak is in another sector. It may be some time before he arrives, so I suppose I'll have to fill in for until then." He motioned to the technician standing by the control panel on the wall. "Activate the torture fields."

With those four words, Kenna was tumbled into a pit of all-consuming agony. Her muscles convulsed, threatening to snap bones, her head felt like it was splitting open, she screamed with all the breath in her lungs. After a few hour long minutes, as if through a fog, she heard Karath order the technician to stop.

"…I don't want them to pass out before I question them," the Admiral was saying, "Malak will appreciate any information I can give him when he arrives."

"Save your breath, Saul!" Carth snapped, residual pain causing him to bite the words off shorter than necessary, "We won't answer any of your questions."

"I'm sure _you_ won't," Karath sneered, "However, we both know your friend's loyalties have proven in the past to be somewhat…flexible."

_What the blazes is he _talking_ about?_ "My loyalty is as true as Carth's!" Kenna protested. _Which is really saying something…_

Karath gave a short laugh. "It is time to put your loyalty to the test. I doubt torturing you would gain me your true cooperation. Your will is too strong to be broken that way. However, even the strongest of heroes has trouble watching those they care about suffering."

_Oh, no. Please, _please,_ no!! _Kenna thought she knew where this was going, and it already hurt.

"The interrogation will begin now." Karath nodded to the technician, who stood ready by the cursed button. "Each time you refuse to answer a question, or give me a false answer, Carth will suffer."

_Oh, Force, NO!!! _"Don't hurt him, I beg you!" Kenna pleaded, tears already starting in her eyes.

Carth winced. Kenna sounded ready to just tell Karath everything, without the Admiral having to ask a single question. _Sith's blood, woman, if I known I'd be such a soft spot for you, I'd have told you there was nothing there._ He had no desire to endure the torture field again, but it could be the death of the galaxy if Kenna told Saul anything. "My pain is meaningless!" He hoped he said it forcefully enough to convince her. "Tell him _nothing_!" _You hear me, Kenna Tasman? Nothing!!!_

"I tire of these games," Karath muttered, savage gleam in his eyes, "--now I want answers! On which planet is the Jedi Academy at which you were trained?"

_I can't tell him! But if I don't tell him, he'll torture Carth! Carth told you not to tell that monster anything! He probably already knows. This is probably just a test. Just give him the answer to this one question, spare Carth this one little bit of agony; there'll be enough with later questions. NO! I can't tell him anything!_ "Jedi Academy?" Kenna faltered, wishing she was anywhere but here and now. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

The sadistic grin on Karath's face told her she'd played right into his hands. "Very well. This is the price of your resistance." He motioned to the technician, who activated Carth's torture field.

His scream of pain shredded Kenna's heart.

He tried to stay silent. He knew Saul would use any sign of pain to weaken Kenna. He tried not to scream… The pain was unbearable, and he couldn't do it. "AHHHH!!!"

"Enough!" Karath commanded after only a few seconds that were more than long enough. "You see what happens when you try to defy me?" he snarled at Kenna, who was staring at a dazed and in pain Carth with an apology bright in her teary eyes. "This first question was a test."

_I knew it!!!_ Kenna resisted the urge to slam the man into the back wall of the room with the Force.

"Obviously Malak knew the Academy was on Dantooine, and it has since been destroyed by our fleet! Dantooine is an empty graveyard now," he gloated, taking sadistic pleasure in the fresh horror in Kenna's and Bastila's eyes. "Nothing remains but a smoking ruin and the charred remains of your former Masters!"

"No, you're lying!" Kenna screamed, "It isn't true!" _It can't be!!!_

"It doesn't matter whether you believe me or not," Karath told her dismissively, "The fact remains that the Jedi on Dantooine have been eradicated, along with any hope of someone coming to rescue you! Now, tell me your mission. How were the Jedi planning on using you to stop our Sith armada?"

Kenna shot a pained glance at Carth and winced, knowing what she was about to do. "I…I won't betray the Jedi."

"Perhaps you need a reminder of the consequences of refusing to cooperate." Karath motioned the technician, who activated the torture field--again.

"NO!" The scream tore from his lips the instant the torture field activated. "AHHH!!" _Maybe she should--NO! Do not ask her to betray them for you!_ He would rather die than have Kenna betray the Republic. But still, "The pain--THE PAIN!!!" He couldn't take much more of this… "AHHHH!!!"

Kenna sobbed as Carth screamed again. She couldn't do this! She couldn't make him endure such torture! _I can't take this!! Torture me instead, please!_ Even after the technician shut off the torture field, she could hear the echoes in her head as she looked over at Carth, who was now nearly unconscious from pain.

"Can you not hear him suffering?" Karath pressed, knowing she could, and it was breaking her heart, evil glee in his eyes. "You can spare him further pain by simply _answering_ my _questions_," he wheedled threateningly.

Kenna choked back the tears, took one more look at Carth, and growled out her reply, "You are a sick and evil man, Saul Karath."

"Perhaps another lesson is in order?" Karath asked calmly, tone almost bored. _NO!!!!!! _Kenna's brain screamed. _No more, you son of a schutta !! Leave him alone!!!!_ But there was nothing she could do to stop the technician from pressing the button.

"No! AHHH!!! AUGH! NO!!!" Carth felt his already strained grip on reality slipping, it hurt so bad…_Just tell him, Kenna! No! Force, don't let her have heard that! _He instantly retracted the thought, but he couldn't take anymore of this. "I beg you…mercy!!! NO!!!" The world went black.

Kenna breathed a ragged sigh of relief when Carth finally passed out. She'd come to the very edge of caving to Karath's demands. Once more through the hellish cycle…

"I am surprised he did not pass out sooner," the Admiral commented offhandedly, as if remarking on the weather, or the outcome of a speedrace, "Rarely have I seen someone withstand such punishment and remain conscious. I see I am wasting my time here."

Kenna felt a sliver of grim satisfaction knowing Carth held on longer than most. _War hero, what did you expect?_

"When Malak arrives, you will learn my interrogation techniques are considered merciful among the Sith. I will leave you here in your cell with a small taste of the horrors you will suffer when Lord Malak arrives." Karath turned and left, motioning to the technician one last time.

_Oh, Force, no! Carth can't take anymore!_ Kenna barely had time to form the thought before she was tumbling that familiar slope into the abyss of indescribable agony and was too worried about herself to even remember someone else's name. The sounds of Bastila's screams--and her own--faded as the world went mercifully silent, black shrouding her mind.

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Kenna slowly become aware of herself again. The throbbing pain that threatened to split her skull was among the first things she noticed. Second was Bastila's voice.

"Don't try to move too quickly," she was cautioning, "you might not be fully recovered yet. Admiral Karath had his guards continue to torture you even after you passed out."

"They tortured all of us," Carth added, voice rougher than usual, "though you got the worst of it by far."

_Good. I deserve it…for what I let him do to you, _Kenna thought.

"Saul wanted them to make us suffer." Carth shook his head. "He's become some sort of sadistic monster." _I hope she's alright. They really let her have it._ Carth could see the pain in Kenna's eyes, and it gave him one more reason to kill Saul.

"The dark side has perverted him, Carth," Bastila explained, "Once you start down the tainted path it leads you ever further into the depths of evil. I fear he is forever lost."

Kenna had trouble believing the words even as she spoke them. "No one is without hope of redemption, Bastila." _Except maybe Saul Karath._

"Yes, I suppose you are correct," Bastila conceded, "Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of that hope in the face of such unbridled cruelty, but you speak the truth. I suppose I'm taking the news of Dantooine's destruction quite hard. First Taris, now the Academy…is there no end to the killing?"

Kenna felt for her. Bastila had known all those Jedi for _years. _Kenna had only known them a matter of weeks, and the pain was hardly bearable. "I know. It's hard to believe they're all gone."

Bastila's expression was pained. "I'd like to believe Saul was lying to us, but even as he said the words, I knew they were true. The Academy is gone." She frowned. "We should have felt a disturbance in the Force when the attack came. The fact that we did not is a bad sign. I fear the dark side is growing stronger, casting shadows our vision cannot pierce. I can only hope some of the Jedi escaped. Vrook, Vandar, Zhar…I cannot imagine all of them being gone. In any case, we have lost our one place of refuge in the galaxy."

"None of this will matter if we don't get out of this prison before Saul gets back!" Carth pointed out.

"Where is he now?" Kenna asked, wondering if she could use the Force on someone at the opposite end of a ship so huge. Bastila frowned at her, and Kenna cleared the thought from her mind.

"Saul mentioned that Lord Malak was on his way. I think the Admiral left to prepare for his arrival…and to report the results--" _Such as they were…_ "--of our interrogation." Kenna winced at the mere mention. _It must have really hurt her to not answer. _Carth wondered if she'd felt that nanosecond of surrender on his part, the fraction of a second when he wanted the pain to stop more than anything in the universe.

"It is fortunate you were able to resist the Admiral's questioning," Bastila said, relief heavy in her tone. "The fate of the galaxy could be changed by revealing the slightest piece of vital information."

He had to tell her, in the interest of honesty…Carth groaned. "I, uh…I have to confess something." He sighed. _Why is this so hard? Because you don't want her to know about even a moment of weakness. You told her your pain was meaningless._ "There was a…there was a moment--_just_ a moment--when part of me was hoping that you would tell him what he wanted to know. Just to make the horrible pain stop."

Kenna felt her heart break all over again. "I'm sorry, Carth. Watching you suffer tore me apart." _I can't begin to articulate how badly it hurt to watch you suffer. I don't think I could have held out much longer._

He could see the sincerity and agony in her eyes. She had probably suffered more watching him tortured and not stopping it than he had actually enduring it. _I'm sorry, beautiful. _"No, I know you wouldn't ever do anything to intentionally cause me pain," he tried to reassure her. _I still want us to be something._ "But you had no other choice. You couldn't betray our cause. I..I honestly don't know if I could have been as strong in your position," he confessed. "To watch you suffer like that_…_"_ I don't even want to think about it._ "I...I might have cracked."

_After what I put you through…is there anyone else like you in the galaxy, Carth Onasi? _Kenna was about to thank him and insist that he ignore her pain as she'd _tried_ to ignore his if their positions were ever switched when Bastila interrupted, "Did you feel that? A disturbance in the Force. The Admiral has sent his message, the Dark Lord knows we are here. Malak is coming."

"Well, we better hope Mission busts us out of here before he arrives," Carth muttered.

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She did. After sending Mission back for the others, with instructions to figure out some way to get their hands on the _Ebon Hawk_, Kenna, Carth, and Bastila found the lockers with their gear. Kenna shrugged back on the Qel-Droma robe and scooped up her lightsaber, spinning the deactivated hilt around before heading for the door. The lightsaber's familiar weight gave some comfort and security. She stood in the doorway as a guard of sorts while Carth and Bastila reclaimed their gear as well. She couldn't hold back a smile as Carth had trouble getting the shoulder guard to sit right--again. "What is it with you and that shoulder guard?"

He glared at her. "It doesn't want to lay right." He rolled his eyes when she laughed. "Just shut up and give me a hand, would you?"

"As you wish." Kenna leaned over and shoved the shoulder guard higher for him, giving him a cheeky grin he would have just loved to kiss off her face. But Bastila would never leave Kenna alone if he did that, so he restrained himself. _Later,_ he promised himself,_ When Saul's dead and we're as far away from Bastila as we can get._ He was not passing up a chance finally make good his promise to kill Saul, not when he was this close. They had to go to the Bridge anyway to open the hanger bay doors. He'd bet his last credit that Saul would be there, too.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o--o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Yay! Chapter two! Let me know what you think…I'll try to have chapter 3 up soon, but no promises. School is taking up a pretty huge chuck of time, and I'm working on two other fanfics AND playing both KotOR 1 and 2 right now. This is my priority (right behind school) though.


	3. The Gizka's Out of the Bag

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, they really belong to LucasArts/Bioware (I just like to fantasize about them).

Kenna was worried. Maybe it was just Carth's paranoia rubbing off on her from prolonged exposure, but she couldn't help but feel something very wrong was about to happen. The ever-increasing rage and thirst for revenge she felt nearly dripping off said pilot probably had a lot to do with that feeling, but it wasn't all of it. Still, she kept one eye on Carth as they made their way through the ship's corridors. Fight after fight with assorted guards, Dark Jedi, and Sith troopers, she felt the dread growing as she watched him. He was hitting harder, showing a side she'd never seen, and it terrified her. _Don't give in to it, Carth. Please. I don't want to lose you._

When they finally made it to the bridge, Karath was waiting for them, surrounded by heavy troopers and flanked by two Dark Jedi. He tried to convince them to give up, that he would ask Malak to be merciful. Kenna wasn't buying.

"I've seen enough of Sith mercy!" Carth growled, practically able to taste how badly he wanted to kill the man. The images of Telos as a smoking, scarred ruin, and Morgana's broken body, and the anguish on Kenna's face in the torture cage were too fresh for him to ignore. He tightened his grip on his weapons until his knuckles turned white. _Just let me kill him,_ he silently begged. He didn't really care at the moment if he made it off the ship alive, as long as he took Saul with him. _What about Kenna?_ Well, alright, maybe he did care.

Karath shook his head as if pained by Carth's refusal. "You always did like to do things the hard way. Lord Malak would have preferred live prisoners, but corpses will have to do." He nodded to his troopers and the room was suddenly full of laser bolts, Force lightning, and the Dark Jedi's taunts. Kenna sent Bastila after the troopers guarding the door before diving toward the two Dark Jedi. She left Saul to Carth. She'd promised him she'd do as much. After attempting a few lightsaber attacks she blocked easily, one of the Dark Jedi tried to use Insanity on her. Kenna resisted, parried another strike, and chopped the man's head off. She risked a brief glance at Carth before attacking the other Jedi, just in time to see him kick the Admiral in the jaw and follow it quickly with a remorseless, furious stab from the Krath Dire Sword. A full half of the blade's length appeared out Karath's back. Grim satisfaction painted across his face, Carth yanked the blade back out. The Admiral collapsed.

'Help Bastila,' Kenna mouthed when he met her gaze, blocking the red blade swooping toward her head. She might be fighting a Dark Jedi, but Bastila was taking on five troopers all by herself. Not good odds, even for a Jedi. Carth nodded and rushed across the bridge to help. Kenna channeled a Force Heal, rammed one blade of her lightsaber into the chest of the attacking Sith, spun to help the others before the corpse hit the floor. She sent Force Lightning shooting through the remaining two troopers, and healed again as the two fell to the ground. They all relaxed a little, now that the room was clear of enemies.

"Carth…" Saul rasped, "Carth…"

"The Admiral!" Bastila spun around. "He's still alive!"

Carth's face hardened. "It's time to finish this."

_No, no, no! _Kenna panicked at the raging hatred in his eyes. _I don't want to lose you!_ "No, Carth, don't give in to your hatred!" she begged desperately. _I think I might love you. Please don't do this!_

Carth whirled to face her. "Don't you understand what this man has done to my life??" he demanded, raw pain edging his voice. "Do you know the _pain_ he's brought me??" _Telos. Morgana. The medics were too late. Karath betrayed us. I can't find Dustil. _The memories roared back with a ferocity he hadn't felt in months.

"Killing him won't ease the pain, Carth!" Bastila pointed out, voicing the point before Kenna could organize her thoughts. "Do not become what you despise!"

"Carth…" Saul coughed, "must tell you…must tell you something…" He coughed again, lungs filling with blood. "Come…closer." Carth warily crossed and knelt by his former mentor. Kenna and Bastila couldn't catch what the Admiral whispered in the pilot's ear, but then his voice grew stronger. "You didn't know, did you?" He coughed, then laughed. "Remember my dying words," he rasped. "Remember them whenever you look at those you thought were your friends!" The Admiral coughed once more before laying still.

Carth stood, overwhelmed by a mix of disbelief, horror, hurt and anger. "He's gone. He said…it can't be true, can it?" _Do you really believe him? Could it be true? Is Kenna really-- NO!, No, she can't be! He's just lying to you again. He has to be. She's not..._ He shook his head. _She couldn't be!!_ "No. No…no--it _can't_! Damn you, Saul! Damn you!"

"What did he say, Carth?" Kenna demanded, out of the loop and hating it.

Carth wheeled on Bastila. "Bastila, it is true, isn't it?" he demanded, "And…and you _knew_! You and the whole damn Jedi Council. You knew the whole time." He should have known he wasn't told everything, he should have guessed there was a reason for the speed with which Kenna picked up Jedi skills. He felt like a fool.

Kenna watched Bastila try to defuse the anger pouring off Carth. "Carth, it's not what you think. We had no other choice! Please, you don't understand…"

_You're damn right I don't! _"So make me understand!" Carth shouted.

"Whatever this is about, Carth deserves an answer." Kenna narrowed her eyes at Bastila, who looked trapped. "So start talking, Bastila."

She shook her head. "Not here, Carth. Please…there's no time. Malak is coming. This isn't the place. Please, Carth," she begged desperately. "I'm asking you to trust me. For just a little while longer."

"She's right, Carth," Kenna admitted. "This isn't the time. We can get into this after we escape."

Carth sighed. "I'll trust you, Bastila, but as soon as we're off this ship I expect some answers."

"Of course, Carth. As soon as we get to the _Ebon Hawk_ I'll explain everything. To both of you. I promise," Bastila assured them, tone placatory.

Kenna opened the hanger bay doors and they made a beeline for the elevator. A few more Sith Troopers were waiting in the hallway for them, but they made short work of them. All any of them wanted to do was get out of there, Carth and Kenna so they could interrogate Bastila, and Bastila so they wouldn't have to face Malak.

None of them got their wish. As they ran down the last hallway between them and the _Hawk_, one of the blast doors ahead of them whooshed open, and through it strode the one man none of them had wanted to deal with right then: Malak.

Pure instinct took over. Carth's hand closed around the grip of the Mandalorian heavy blaster he'd holstered behind one of his swords, "just in case". He knew he could never cause any damage to a Sith Lord with a blade, but maybe he could get off a couple shots…

Just as she'd somehow known he would do, Malak blocked Carth's shots and Force Pushed him into the wall before turning his attention to Kenna. He addressed her as if she had known him for years. It wasn't until he saw the utter confusion on her face that he realized she didn't know what he was talking about. So he told her.

She was Revan. Kenna couldn't, wouldn't believe it. She couldn't be… "Bastila, is this true?" she demanded, whirling to face the Padawan.

Bastila nodded. "It's true. I was part of the strike team sent to capture Revan--to capture you." She explained how, when Malak had attacked Revan's flag ship, the Dark Lord had nearly been killed, and Bastila had reached through the Force to save her. The Jedi Council had wiped her memories and gave her a new identity. Kenna listened, dazed and wondering if she was dreaming, having another of her nightmares. _That would explain Carth's reaction…He hated Revan even more than he hated Saul…But I'm different now! I'm Kenna, not Revan! He won't care. He'll still hate you. No, he knows Kenna--I mean, me. He wouldn't…_Even as she tried to convince herself, Kenna had trouble believing it. Everything was shifting, right out from under her. "I forgive you, Bastila. You had no other choice."

"Forgiveness, Revan?" Malak mocked. "I was right to betray you. You're no Sith. Part of me has always regretted striking at you from a distance. Some might perceive it as weakness and challenge my right to rule the Sith. But now we shall settle this in the true Sith tradition, Master against apprentice. And the stronger shall triumph!" Even as he spoke, Malak trapped Bastila and Carth in Stasis so the fight would be just him and Kenna.

It still was laughably quick. Kenna was so much stronger. She didn't even try to use the Force on him, but it wasn't even really necessary. A few blows from her lightsaber and the Supreme Dark Lord of the Sith was clutching his side, winded and nearly dead. He snarled and trapped Kenna in a Force Whirlwind long enough to escape through the blast door behind him.

When she plopped to the ground, Kenna didn't even wait for the dizziness to wear off before scrambling to her feet and trying the door. It was locked, of course. She groaned and ran around the long way to come at the same hallway from a different angle. Malak was waiting for her, mysteriously back to full health and steaming for a redo. Kenna didn't hesitate. She laid another sound drubbing on the man, almost beating him once and for all before he put her in Stasis and prepared to kill her. A door opened down the hallway.

"For the Jedi!" Bastila cried, launching her lightsaber at Malak and freeing Kenna from the stasis. "I'll hold Malak off! You two get out of here, find the Star Forge!" she ordered as she closed distance to attack again.

"No, Bastila, he's too strong!" Carth hollered. "No!" The door separating Kenna and Carth from Bastila and Malak slid shut and sealed with a hiss. Shaking his head, Carth turned to Kenna, scarcely able to meet her eyes. "Come on, we should go. Bastila sacrificed herself so that we could get away. We can't let that sacrifice be in vain!" Kenna decided not to voice a protest and followed him down the hallway to the hanger and the waiting _Ebon Hawk._ After getting out of the hanger, they had to deal with six Sith fighters that gave chase. Kenna clambered into one of the gun turrets. _We have too much to talk about. I am _not_ letting us get shot down,_ she thought grimly, sending a laser bolt straight down the cannon of an attacking Sith fighter. It exploded, taking out another fighter that was just a little too close and showering the_ Hawk_ with debris. _Four to go._ She winged another one that immediately distanced itself before coming back for another round as Kenna blasted a third fighter into oblivion. Kenna and the Sith pilot fired at the same moment. The Sith vaporized, andthe _Hawk_'s alarms started screaming at her.

"She can't take much more!" Carth hollered.

"I know, I know!" Kenna yelled back, lining up and blasting the fifth Sith into non-existence. "One left!" The last Sith was desperate, resourceful, or both. He managed to evade the torrent of laser bolts Kenna sent screaming toward him for almost a whole minute. But he over-committed on his attack run, and Kenna nailed him right in the cockpit, seconds before he unleashed an attack that would have been the end of the _Hawk._ The alarms were still screaming at her, and a glance at the function screen showed how badly the _Hawk_ had been hit. Kenna decided to send T3 out to make repairs while they traveled to Kashyyyk. But at the moment, there was something infinitely more important that needed to be addressed. They deserved to know who she really was. Kenna nearly ran into Carth as she climbed down from the turret and he left the cockpit. He wouldn't look at her. Kenna's heart skipped a beat before plummeting down to her toes. _No, Carth, don't hate me. Please. Please._

"Hey, where's Bastila?" Mission demanded, noticing the resident Jedi princess was unaccounted for. "What happened on that ship?"

"We ran into Malak," Carth explained. "He would have killed us, but Bastila sacrificed herself so we could get away."

"You mean she's…she's dead?" Mission asked, eyes widening in disbelief as she voiced Kenna's chief fear.

Carth shook his head. "Malak won't kill her. I think he'll want to use her Battle Meditation against the Republic. He'll keep her alive so he can turn her to the dark side!"

"We can't help Bastila--not unless we find the Star Forge first," Kenna pointed out, hoping they could stay on Bastila and Carth wouldn't bring up…the other issue.

That hope was dashed the next second.

"Not so fast." Carth finally looked at her, and the mix of hurt and anger in his eyes wasn't promising. Kenna had a feeling she was about to watch everything she had with him wither and die very shortly.


	4. A Lot to Forgive

Okay, in addition to creditting LucasArts/Bioware with these characters and lots of the dialogue (not me *pout*), I need to credit cjt0202 with the mod that allows the alternate (and better, in my opinion) dialogue for the opening conversation. Enjoy!

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Much as he didn't want to be doing this, much as he wished she could just be _Kenna_, the hard truth was staring him in the face, beating acceptance of the one thing he never would have imagined happening into him no matter how hard he resisted. "I need to know if what Malak said about you is true or not, first. You aren't…" He hesitated, unable to actually say the name, feeling his world flip upside down. "you _can't _be, can you?"

"I don't care what Malak said!" Kenna insisted, trying to convince herself almost as much as Carth. "I'm _not_ Darth Revan, I'm Kenna Tasman!" She swallowed the bitter tears threatening to spill out, desperately hoping he believed her. _Please, flyboy, please._

Mission narrowed her eyes. "Revan? What…what are you talking about? Is this some kind of joke?"

Carth's heart rebelled against the words being true even as he spoke. "No, it's no joke." _Oh, how I wish it was._ _Kenna… _"The Jedi Council captured Revan and erased the Dark Lord's mind, programming in a new identity. Saul Karath told me on the _Leviathan_, and Bastila confirmed it."

Mission swiveled to look at Kenna. "You're Darth Revan? This is…this is big." _You got that right. Life altering. Or in my case, ruining. Carth'll never speak to me again, _Kenna thought to herself as Mission continued, "Do you…do you remember anything about being the Dark Lord?"

Kenna shook her head. "Small bits. A few strange dreams and visions. That's all." _I swear that's all, Carth. That's not me anymore._

Mission digested that news for a second. " Just a few flashes? That's it? Nothing more?" Kenna shook her head. "Then I don't think there's a problem," the Twi'lek shrugged, perception of her friend unaltered. "Seems to me, if you don't really remember anything about being Revan, then it doesn't really matter anymore. You are who you are now, right?" _Thank the Force for you, Mission Vao. If only he'll accept that…_

As much as Carth wanted to agree with Mission and sweep the whole mess neatly into a corner to be forgotten, he couldn't. " Of _course_ it still matters! How do we know more memories won't coming flooding back? How do we know Revan won't suddenly turn on us?" he demanded, feeling his heart die a little more the farther he pushed. He really had been falling hard for Kenna, but now…"I've been such a fool! I…I swore to protect you! And here you were the enemy all this time!"

_No, no, NO!!! Carth, I'm _not_ your enemy! I care about you! Don't do this…_ Kenna didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry, Carth…I wish this wasn't true."

_You and me both._ "But it _is_ true. It's horribly true. It was…it was you…_you_ killed my wife, you ravaged my world. You…you destroyed my life!" He could tell he was wounding her, deeply, but for once he didn't care. "How could I have been such a fool! How could I have not known?" The words were irrational, but he spat them out anyway. "How could you betray me like this?!"

Kenna felt the blood drain from her face and nearly lost her battle with the tears then and there when he said that; his words doing some destroying and ravaging of their own. _No…no, Carth, I would never…please don't think… _"Please, Carth…don't do this to me!" Her heart broke at the anger in his eyes, now nearly overwhelming the hurt. _How was I supposed to know?_

"You should have known." How, exactly, Kenna was supposed to know she was a presumed-dead Sith Lord he wasn't sure, but Carth didn't really care about little details right now. "I…" He sighed, hating himself for hating her…and for loving her._ You almost confessed your love to the very person who destroyed your life! But she seems…different, somehow. No, Sith never change. She'll always be Revan. How did you not figure that out, Onasi? _"I should have figured it out. I just can't…" He paused, not sure he wanted to know, but he felt he had to. "Was everything a lie, then? Everything we talked about?" _All the teasing, and the flirting, all of it…was it real, or just another lie?_

"Everything important was real, Carth," Kenna insisted, willing her voice not to wobble. _Please believe me. Please. I really do want a future with you. I really do care about you. I really am sorry about Morgana…so, so sorry._ She had a sinking feeling he would never forgive her, never believe her. She had to try anyway. She had to hold onto the slim hope that maybe, just maybe, there would be something worth salvaging when all this was behind them.

He wanted to believe her. More than anything. But with what Revan did to the galaxy…he just couldn't, not that easily. "Are you sure? I'm not sure what to believe anymore. Who's to say your old life won't come back…all of it? Was the woman we know Revan or…or someone else?"_ Kenna. I want her to be Kenna. Just Kenna. But how do you forget such a monstrous past?_ "Will you change into Revan? How can any of us trust you?"

Kenna was about to give him a whole list of reasons they--he--could trust her, but Mission chimed in before she could open her mouth. "Well, _I_ trust you! I know you…and you're not Revan anymore. Whatever you used to be, you're one of us now!" Kenna felt her shattered heart smile a little, just a little, at Mission's passionate response. The Twi'lek had no reservations about trusting her, and Kenna only wished some of that would rub off on Captain Paranoid. Zaalbar growled his agreement with Mission, and she continued, "Big Z and I will stick by you. We owe you our lives, we won't desert you now!" Mission sent a sideways glare at Carth, as if trying to remind him that he belonged in that group that owed Kenna their lives.

He knew Mission had a point, and he could read the reminder in her eyes, as if he could forget, but Kenna was Revan. _Revan_. "I don't know if I can get over it that easily Mission. I mean…after all Revan did…how could _any_ of us forgive her?" _I can't yet. Not for Telos, not for Morgana…not yet. That's too much._

"Everyone knows it was Malak who gave the order to attack your people, Carth," Canderous pointed out impatiently, as if he'd read the pilot's mind. "You can't blame Revan for that." _But Revan made Malak what he is,_ Carth and Kenna thought at the same time. Even so, Carth had to--grudgingly--concede that the Mandalorian was right. He sighed. "I suppose you've proven yourself to be a friend of the Republic by your actions so far…Revan. But can I trust you?" _I want to. But I can't get over this that fast._ "Can _any_ of us?"

Kenna felt like she was standing, teetering, on the edge of a precipice that overlooked an endless fall. _Oh, what I'd do to make you trust me…_ She knew a single wrong word or action would squash, kill, and otherwise be the end of the infinitesimally slender hope Carth's words birthed in her heart. "What do you think, Canderous?" she asked, stalling. She knew what Juhani would say, and that T3 would follow her no matter what. The big Mandalorian was the only one who still had to voice an opinion. She had a feeling he was going to side with her, given how he'd corrected Carth, but she wanted to be sure. She was right. In fact, Canderous expressed disbelief that she would even have to ask whether he would follow her. Well, that only left Carth. Heart pounding, desperately hoping he didn't completely hate her, Kenna posed the question. "Well, Carth--will you stand with me against Malak?"

Well, _that_ was a question he wasn't entirely sure how to answer. Carth sighed. "Well, the others seem to trust you…and I don't see any other way to stop the Sith. And I suppose Malak is the real enemy here…I really don't have any other choice, do I?" _Not that I'd choose any different if I did…_

_You _don't_ really have a choice, but I don't want that to be your reason! I want you to help me because you forgive me, accept me, _believe_ me when I say I'm not Revan, I'm Kenna. Kenna, Kenna, Kenna!_ "I'm _not_ Revan anymore, _have_ to believe that!" _If you don't it very well might kill me._

"I want to believe you," Carth admitted, surprising himself. "You've proven yourself time and again during our mission, but this is a little much for me to wrap my mind around."

Kenna wanted to laugh. _Tell me about it!_ "How do you think _I _feel?" she demanded.

_I can't imagine, beautiful. I really can't._ The thought surprised him, true as it was. "This must be even more of a shock to you…I mean, I don't know how you even keep going." _And I guess I admire you for that…_ "I guess we both just have to find a way to push forward. Don't worry about me--I'm a soldier. I can put aside my misgivings for now."Kenna still looked crestfallen._ There still might be something, Kenna. Maybe. I don't know…_ How could he offer her any hope when he was so mixed up about this himself? _You can't just leave it at that. You can't._ "We can, uh…talk later, you and I," Carth offered. "Just give me time." He saw the hope in her eyes. He only hoped, desperately, that it wasn't false hope. _I don't want to hurt her any more then I already have._ The realization shocked him. A year, a week, a day ago, if you'd asked him what he would do to Revan, given the chance, the answer would not have involved mercy or compassion. Not one drop. But looking at the surprisingly fragile, broken woman in front of him, he was already rethinking things. _Talk about a change in perception. _But enough of that. "So I guess that's it then…we keep going. We've still got one more Star Map to uncover if we're going to find that Star Forge and save Bastila, so let's do it before it's too late."

Clinging to the little bit of hope he gave her, Kenna retreated to the bunk room and closed the door. She pulled off her outer robe and boots, sitting down on the edge of the bed. She felt her whole view of…well, _everything_ had changed since the last time she'd been in this room. _I'm _Revan_. I'm the incarnation of everything anyone with a shred of decency despises. I was pure evil, a hero gone wrong. What am I now? Do I want that again?_ She rested her forehead despairingly on her hands. This was too much change too fast. _No. I don't want it. I don't care about the power. I don't care. All I want, honestly, is to stop Malak and then retreat somewhere to start over with Carth. That's it. _Carth. If there really was even an iota of a chance to prove herself to him, win him back, she would take it, seize it with both hands. _But how could he love me, with what I did to him? Malak may have ordered the destruction of Telos, but Malak wouldn't have fallen if not for his good buddy and 'Master' Revan. I corrupted him. I started him down that path. It _is_ my fault._ "Oh, Force, I can't do this!" she groaned, tears threatening again. _I can't ask Carth to forgive everything I did. It would be asking to much._

"Hey, Kenna, can I come in?" It was Mission.

Kenna slid into a corner of the bunk and leaned against the wall. "I guess so." She stared at the floor as Mission slid the door open just wide enough to enter the room and closed it behind her. "What's up, Mish?"

"Don't blame yourself." Kenna looked up. Mission silenced her with a look. "Don't."

"How can I not?" Kenna demanded. "He's right, I destroyed his life! I destroyed so many people's lives! How can you trust me? Any of you?"

"Like I said, that's not who you are now. And Canderous was right. Malak destroyed Telos. Not you."

"But would Malak have been evil if not for me? Would he have fallen if his best friend Revan hadn't yanked him over the edge?" Kenna leaned her head back until it thunked against metal, grateful for the momentary pain that shot through her skull.

"Even if you did, Malak kept goin' on his own," Mission pointed out, sitting next to Kenna on the bunk. "You may have started him on the path to the dark side, but he did a doozy of a job followin' it without any help from you."

"Thanks, Mish. I wish Carth would believe that."

"Don't worry about him. He'll come around," Mission assured her. "He's as crazy about you as you are about him. Trust me."

Kenna smiled slightly. "And you know this how, dare I ask?"

"Oh, I'm just a very good listener. And it's so easy to overhear things in this ship." Mission wouldn't say any more. "Just give him some time. Lots of time. I could already see him thinking it through after you left the room. It's just a really big change for him to get over."

"I know." They sat in silence for a long moment.

"Um, Mission, I was wonderin' something."

"Well, I had a question for you, too, but you first," the Twi'lek replied.

"It's kinda about Griff. Is he still off limits?"

Mission shook her head. "Not for you."

Kenna stared at the floor. "Okay, then, what I'm wondering is this: you and, um, Carth both had people you trusted betray you. For him it was Karath spearheading the attack on Telos, for you it was Griff abandoning you on Taris to fend for yourself, then having the gall to hit you up for credits when we found him on Tatooine. Carth decided he wasn't ever going to trust anyone ever again, and is even having doubts about me again now, how come you trusted me so easily, and _still_ trust me? Even knowing who I am?"

Mission thought for a minute before replying, "Well, part of it would be that the way Griff dumped me was no where near what Karath did. Y'know? On a scale of one to ten, Griff's at about a nine and a half, but Karath would be, like, a gazillion. All Griff did was abandon me. Karath killed Carth's wife, ravaged his home planet. That's a lot worse. And I kinda had Griff on a pedestal 'til Tatooine. So that in itself is different. But as to me still trusting you now, why shouldn't I?" She shrugged. "You're not a different person then the woman who tried to help, like, everyone we came across everywhere. So you were evil at one point. You aren't now. That's why I still trust you."

"Thank the Force for you," Kenna sighed, resting her head in her hands. "What did you want to ask me?"

Mission hesitated a second. "I was just wonderin', well, um, you seemed to be really takin' this hard. I mean, I know it's a pretty big bomb to drop on someone, but even so, I was just curious…what happened to you guys on the _Leviathan?_"

Kenna's blood turned to ice. "Nothing, really. Karath tried to interrogate us, I wouldn't tell him anything." _Don't make me relive that. Especially since the man I agonized over hurting currently isn't speaking to me._

"C'mon, Ken," Mission pressed. "There has to be more to it then that. This is _me_ askin'. It's not like Bastila demanding to know if you're fallin' for Carth or somethin'."

Kenna sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it." Mission's face fell. "Oh, alright," she relented. "Karath had us in torture cages, and he, being a sick, twisted, sadistic son of a Sith schutta, decides that since torturing _me _won't get me to cooperate, he'll torture someone I care about if I don't give him the answers he wants. You want to guess who that was?"

Mission's eyes widened. "Carth?"

Kenna nodded. "It was horrible. I couldn't tell Karath anything; it would have been the doom of the galaxy if I had. But listening to Carth suffering like that…" her face twisted in remembered agony. "My heart was shattered, shredded by the second time."

"How many questions did he ask you?"

"Two, technically, but he repeated the second one to see if watching…" Kenna stifled a sob and left the sentence to dangle. "If he hadn't pushed it just a little too far, to the point Carth passed out from the pain, the last time, I probably would have given in." It felt good to get the confession out. "And he still, Carth I mean, was worried about me when Karath's guards tortured me even worse. He said he wasn't sure if he could have been as strong in my position and might have cracked, watching me suffer like that. I didn't tell him that I nearly _had_ cracked. It tore my heart into a million tiny pieces to watch him suffer and not do anything." The tears fought to come out, but she somehow resisted--barely. "And then he just _turned _on me. One little revelation, and all of a sudden, all that work getting him to trust me was just out the airlock." Kenna looked at Mission, misery brightening her eyes. "He hates me now."

"No, he doesn't."

Kenna eyeballed the Twi'lek the same way she would a lunatic. "Yeah, Mish, he does."

Mission chuckled. "No. He may _think_ he does. But he doesn't, not really and truly. Trust me, I know how to read people. He'll get over it. Just gotta give him lots of time."

_She's Revan._ Carth leaned back in the pilot's seat, trying to rub away the massive headache pulsing through his skull. He knew he'd been hard on Kenna, but he had to admit, part of him hadn't minded the hurt on her face. He didn't really like that part. He wanted to trust her. If she was just Kenna, trusting her, even _loving_ her, would be the easiest thing in the 'verse. But with the added layer of her being Revan, trust would be a little hard to come by. His whole perception of the woman changed with that revelation. _"Carth…"_ An image of his wife danced through his mind's eye, and Carth nearly swore. _Mori…Why does life have to be so complicated??_ he demanded, though of who exactly, he wasn't sure. _I really think we might've had something. But I don't know if I could trust, let alone love, Revan. Not after what she did to the galaxy. Or what her apprentice did to Telos, to Morgana, to Dustil._ He wished he could. Kenna was amazing. _Do you really hate her? _He couldn't answer the question, and wasn't sure whether to hate himself or not for that. _You need to decide, Onasi. Do you believe her when she swears she's someone different now?_ Carth groaned. _I don't know! I want to believe her. I'd _love_ to believe her. But I don't know if I can. With all she did…_ He shifted restlessly, leaned forward to rest his head in his hands. _Can I forgive her?_

Kenna lay on the bunk, staring at the ceiling and trying to get some sleep. She was failing miserably. Mission's promise that Carth didn't really hate her kept ricocheting around her brain. _Could've fooled me…I wish I could believe you Mission, but the anger in his eyes…that looked awful real to me._ She sighed. Yes, it was hard for her to accept who she was. Her evil past was nearly impossible to reconcile with her near-saintly present. But it must be even harder for Carth. He'd spent years hating Revan and Malak, maybe even more than he hated Saul. Then, surprise, the woman you're falling in love with is the Lord of the Sith! The one responsible, albeit indirectly, for the destruction of your home planet and the death of your wife. That was a lot to accept. A lot to forgive. Kenna wasn't sure he'd be able to. Or that she'd blame him if he couldn't.


	5. Killing Me

Both Carth and Kenna did everything possible to give the other space the week and a half long flight to Kashyyyk. She stayed in the bunk room as much as possible, and he hardly ever left the cockpit.

_I should hate her. But I don't. I can't._ It took almost the entirety of the flight for Carth to arrive at that realization. He'd tried. He wanted to be able to hate her. To hold her responsible for everything she'd done. For everything that had been done in her name. But try as he might, he couldn't do it. For every atrocity Revan had committed, there was a life Kenna had saved, or a wrong she'd put right. Mission was right. He'd never in a million years admit that to the Twi'lek, though. She'd left him alone for a couple days, but then she wouldn't stop pestering him. "You don't really hate her…what about all the good things Kenna's done?…We owe her our lives, you, me, Big Z, Bastila, and Canderous…she didn't hafta take us with her…Bet she'll still want ya with her on Kashyyyk." He doubted the last one was true, and had finally kicked the teen out so he could think. _Morgana's dead because of Revan. But Kenna saved Dustil. Telos is ravaged because of Revan. But Kenna tried to save the Outcasts on Taris._ On top of everything else he had to work through, Carth realized he didn't have the peace he'd thought he would after killing Saul. He was still restless, still felt he'd left something unfinished. _Maybe revenge was the wrong idea…maybe I should just forgive Rev--Kenna. She's Kenna, until she tells me to call her something else, she's Kenna. Kenna._ Thinking about her didn't bring the same feelings it had before, but there was no more anger there, at least not towards her. _She's changed. I know she has. No matter what piece of Revan's dark nature that has to still be in there, somewhere, it's not who she is. And I'll tell her as much, if she ever speaks to me again_. Settled as the matter may have been in his mind, Carth knew it might take Kenna longer to come to grips with her newfound past. Finding out that someone so good was, at one point, so evil was hard to accept for him; he couldn't imagine how hard it was for her. He just hoped he hadn't scared her off forever. _Maybe we can try again…_

Kenna didn't know what she would have done without Mission. The teenager brought her food, kept her spirits up, and refused to let her wallow in self-pity. She also hid all the weapons that had been in the room. Just in case. Kenna had almost snapped at her for that, but had to admit the wisdom in Mission's actions. But, all the same, it was nice to finally be alone. _Now that she no longer considers me a suicide risk,_ Kenna chuckled to herself_. How much longer should I give Carth? I don't want to try to talk to him before he's ready, but I don't want to wait too long either. Maybe after I get my hands on the last Star Map? That sounds good. He's already had a week and a half. Two or threemore days, just to be safe, then I'll talk to him._ Mind made up, Kenna reached for her boots as she felt the Hawk touch down on the Kashyyyk landing pad. There was a gentle tap on the door.

"Yes?"

"It's Mission. You ready to go?" The Twi'lek stuck her head in the room.

"Almost." Kenna brushed the hair out of her eyes. "Hey, Mish, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, Ken."

"Tell Carth and Zaalbar I want them to come with me?"

"Sure. But you do need to talk to him yourself y'know."

"I will," Kenna promised. "I just want you to tell him I want him to come with me."

"Why can't you tell him?" Mission crossed her arms and leaned against the door frame.

"Because, Mission Vao, I have things to do to get ready, and I want you to tell him," Kenna huffed. "You can be exasperating, you know that?"

"Oh, yes. But if you haven't talked to Carth by the time you guys get back, I'm gonna lock you in the cargo hold together."

"Warning noted. Go." Kenna pointed toward the cockpit and Mission vanished with a chuckle.

"Hey, Carth, Kenna wants you to go with her an' Big Z."

Carth spun the pilot's seat around. "Really?"

Mission grinned at the surprise--and hope--in his voice. "Yeah. I told you she would. Good thing you didn't follow that urge to bet against it." Carth chuckled sarcastically at her, then reached for his swords, which were leaning against the console. "Carth?"

"What, Mission?"

"If you hurt Kenna again, Big Z'll tear your arms off. No lie."

As if I needed encouragement to not hurt her. "Again?"

"You are so blind!" Mission threw up her hands, then planted them on her hips. "You couldn't tell how bad all that stuff you said to her hurt her? You couldn't tell you were breaking her heart? Men!" With that parting shot, the Twi'lek stomped out of the cockpit, muttering under her breath. Carth heard his name and 'Gamorrean sewer trash' in her not quite audible tirade, and hoped the two weren't being connected in any way, while knowing they probably were. _Now I just have to figure out when to talk to Kenna. Tell her I'm sorry, and that I forgive Revan. I'll talk about it whenever she brings it up._ He sheathed the two swords and headed for the main hold. When he caught sight of Kenna, he winced. She didn't look like she'd slept the whole flight.

Kenna felt her heart ache upon her first glimpse of Carth in over a week. He didn't look much better off than she was. _How much sleep has he gotten?Does he forgive me? Should I ask him to? Is there any hope for us?_ "Come on, we should get going," she mumbled, not meeting his eyes. She couldn't. If there was judgment or condemnation there, she would shatter on the spot. A week with no sleep did nothing for her emotional strength.

Unfortunately, Zaalbar had not left Kashyyyk on good terms with his people. In order to get permission to go into the Shadowlands, which Kenna knew was where she would find the Star Map, she had to promise to kill some Wookiee for the chieftain, Chuundar, who was Zaalbar's brother. And, to ensure she would return, Chuundar refused to allow Zaalbar to got with her, insisting that the Wookiee would stay right where he was until she came back. Kenna tried to persuade him to let her take Big Z with her, but he refused to change his mind. The Jedi finally acquiesced, though Carth could tell it was very reluctantly, and they left the hall minus one Wookiee.

Kenna sighed, pushed back her hair, and pulled out her comlink. "Hey, Canderous?"

Carth couldn't stop the wince._ Please don't ask him to come. He's already in a bad mood, and last time we nearly killed each other. Justification through victory…_

The Mandalorian's grumpy reply finally crackled back. "What do you want?"

"Can you tell Juhani to get out here?"

"Tell her yourself."

Kenna sighed in exasperation, angrily pushed back her hair again. "Well, then, could you give her the comlink?" Her voice oozed frustration, and Carth felt sorry for her. Almost.

There was muffled grumbling on the other end of the comlink and then Juhani's voice. "Yes?"

"I need you, Juhani. The Wookiees won't let me have Big Z with me. Can you find your way over here?"

"Yes. I will be there shortly."

Kenna slipped the comlink back into its loop on her belt. "Now we just have to wait." The statement was unnecessary, but it pushed the silence back for a second, so she said it anyway. Both Jedi and pilot suddenly found the patterns in the wood of the walkway beneath their feet incredibly interesting.

The silence stretched, making the ten minutes it took Juhani to catch up with them seem like hours. When she finally arrived, Carth and Kenna pushed away from the railing they'd been leaning against, a healthy five-foot gap between them.

"C'mon, let's go." Kenna led the way toward the lift down to the Shadowlands._ I don't know how much longer I can wait to talk to Carth. This is killing me_. Hokey as it would sound if she said it, she missed the sound of his voice. He hadn't said two words to her since they landed.

_We really need to talk. I wonder if the silence is killing her like it's killing me_. Carth wanted to swear. It was Kenna's past, so he felt like she should be the one to bring it up, but if she didn't talk to him, not at him and whoever else was with them, soon, he was going to drag her off for a heart-to-heart chat. _I don't know how much longer I can wait. We need to talk, Kenna_.

* * *

Yay! New chapter! Sorry it A)is so short and B) took me so long to post again...finals coming up, you know how it goes....hopefully the next chapter will follow quickly and be longer! =)

~EmiOnasi


	6. In Your Dreams

If there was anything for which she could be grateful, it was meeting Jolee Bindo. The old man's dismissal of her true name was a breath of fresh air, as was his easy acceptance of her.

Kenna couldn't help but compare his reaction to Carth's. The only time the man spoke to her was when she got so desperate to hear his voice she asked him if he knew anything about the planet. Despite knowing it well enough herself to write a guidebook if Kashyyyk were to turn into a tourist destination. _Is he still mad at me? Or is he just waiting for me to speak first, since it _is_ my past?_ She desperately hoped it was the latter. He hadn't sounded mad when he told her what little he knew about Kashyyyk, which was promising.

When Jolee said he could get her past the force field, Kenna took him up on his offer. Juhani had seemed very distracted the short while she'd been on the planet, so Kenna decided to let her go back to the ship. Besides, even if he wouldn't talk to her, she wanted Carth with her. The two of them followed the hermit past what had been the Czerka outpost to the huge, shimmering force field blocking the path.

"Now, let's see…" Jolee grunted, manipulating the controls to allow them to dart through. "There we go." The three of them headed into the Lower Shadowlands, Jolee leading. He was the one who knew where he was going.

Several fights with cowardly Mandalorians and one encounter with a half-crazy Wookiee named Freyyr later, Kenna was worn out. She made an executive decision: finding Bacca's blade for Freyyr and the Star Map could wait until morning. All three of them were tired. She didn't know Jolee well enough to read him like she could Carth, but the pilot was dragging almost as badly as she was. She could see it in the slouching shoulders, the way--every so often--his feet would drag. She felt ready to collapse herself. _Part of me wishes I would, just to see how he would react._ She hoped he would be worried. She decided not to test it, though.

"We need to rest. All of us." Kenna plunked herself down on a rock.

"You kids have no endurance," Jolee humphed as he sat down more slowly, but Kenna could see the relief in his eyes. _You're not fooling me, old man._ "Do you intend to camp down here? 'Cause that will be your only option if we rest too long."

"Yes, actually, I do. If you're worried, we can take turns keeping watch." Kenna looked up at Carth, who had settled for leaning against one of the enormous tree trunks instead of sitting down, and raised an eyebrow.

"I sit down, you won't get me up 'til morning," he explained, shadow of a grin crossing his face so fleetingly Kenna wondered if she'd really seen it.

"Well, then," Kenna smirked, "you get first watch."

"I walked right into that one, didn't I?" He shook his head. "Don't answer that."

Kenna chuckled, first genuine smile he'd seen in ages crossing her face. "G'night."

_I've missed your smile. _"Kenna?" She looked up. "Who's next?"

"Oh." She paused for a second to think, looked over at the already sleeping Jolee. "Me. Three hours. No more."

"But you n--"

"Carth. No more."

He sighed and relented. "Alright, alright. Three hours." _I'll be damned if you aren't the stubbornest woman I've ever met. You're even worse than Mori, which is really saying something._ His wife would never compromise on anything she thought was important. Kenna was a lot like her in that way.

It could be a bad thing, however. One of those things Morgana considered important was him staying home. While he agreed with her about that, he still signed up for a tour with the Republic military at the start of the Jedi Civil War. Dustil growing up _free_ was more important. They'd had a huge fight about that, neither willing to surrender an inch.

* * *

"_Isn't the Telos Militia enough?" Morgana sighed in exasperation, glaring at him from across the room._

"_No." He turned to leave._

"_What, that all I get?" She stomped across the room to grab his arm. "Carth! This is important!"_

"_Well, so's work. I'm going to be late. We can have this out when I get home."_

"_Or we can have it out now." Morgana crossed her arms. "Why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to find out through my sister that you signed back up?" She slammed the mirror in her hand down on the dresser._

"_Because I knew how you would react!"_

"_Then why did you do it?" He could see the rage simmering behind her eyes._

"_So that Dustil doesn't grow up under the Sith! Do you want that for him, Mori? He deserves to grow up free."_

"_He deserves to grow up with his father home! You _know_ we both hated it when you were gone for months. Why are you doing it to us again??" Her expression demanded an answer, and since she stood between him and the door, Carth couldn't really avoid answering._

"_I told you. I don't want our son growing up under the Sith. How many times do I have to repeat myself?"_

"_How many times do _I _have to tell you our son's going to think you don't love him if you're gone all the time?" _

_Part of him wanted to strangle her. The larger part had to admit she was probably right. Carth sighed. "Look, Mori, we really can talk about this later--"_

"_You're not leaving. Not until you answer my question."_

"_I _**did**_!!"_

"_No, I want to know why you think _**you**_ have to go fight the Sith. There are hundreds, thousands of soldiers to fight for the Republic. Why do they need _**you**_?" She poked one finger into his chest._

"_Because I'm one of the best pilots they've ever had! Because I need to see for myself if Revan and Malak really betrayed the Republic. Because if I don't go and something happens to you--either of you--I'll never forgive myself! Now, if that's not satisfactory, we can have it out when I get home, but I really need to leave. I love you." He kissed her goodbye and headed out the door, leaving Morgana speechless in the bedroom._

* * *

Carth reluctantly pulled himself back to the present. That memory led to worse ones. They had finished talking about it when he got home that night, at various volume levels. He'd apologized for not talking with her before signing back up, sworn up and down that she and Dustil were the most important things in the universe to him. But he was determined to go, and she was just as determined to keep him home. They finally put the whole mess on hold, to deal with later. _If_ he really went through with signing up, an 'if' Morgana never hesitated to stress, it wouldn't be for a month or so. For that night, they decided to kiss and make up, heavy on the 'kiss' part.

He'd taken a bunch of new recruits out to the polar region for extreme-weather training the next day. While he was out there, miles away from her and Dustil, the Sith had bombarded the planet. They targeted the civilian areas almost as fast as the military bases. By the time he managed to find his wife, it had been too late to do more then hold her and watch her die. The medics arrived too late, swamped with a planet full of suffering and dying. It was only then that he realized Dustil was gone. He'd spent days scouring the surface of Telos for his son, screamed himself hoarse calling his name, but never found him, finally gave him up for dead, too.

He'd rejoined the Republic military the next day. Most of the soldiers figured out real quick not to ask about his family. He'd been almost a loner, simply flying wherever the Fleet Admirals told him to go. Until the _Endar Spire_…

Carth shook his head, reluctant smile spreading across his face as he looked over at Kenna. So something good came out of that assignment after all. He hadn't been too thrilled, it was only an 'advisory position' and he didn't even get to fly the ship. But then there was the Sith attack, the crash landing with some female soldier he didn't even know, rescuing Bastila, escaping Taris, then the search for the Star Maps, all the while falling for Kenna. Finding Dustil on Korriban, in the Sith Academy, had shaken him. If he owed Kenna for nothing else, the amount of effort she put into changing his son's mind about the Sith still left him so much in her debt he didn't think he'd ever get out.

Kenna mumbled something in her sleep and rolled over. "No, Alek…we really shouldn't…" _Wonder what she's dreaming about. _It was an idle thought, born out of the boredom of staring at the unchanging darkness.

* * *

"_C'mon you two, I've done this a hundred times," Alek prodded the two more reluctant Padawans._

_Revan and Baryn exchanged a look. "I don't think we should," Baryn began hesitantly._

"_He's right, Alek," Revan pointed out, for once agreeing with the younger of her two best friends. "We're not supposed to be in there."_

"_Oh, come on. It's just a library. What could the harm be in goin' in a library and lookin' at a couple holocrons?" _

"_I don't know," Baryn had to admit, "It just seems Master Vrook wouldn't have told us to stay out without a good reason."_

"_Fine, if you don't want to go in, then go and meditate with Mical or something." Alek jabbed, suggestion Baryn was acting like a complacent child impossible to miss. Mical was only eleven and far too happy simply obeying the masters' instructions. He turned to Revan. "You'll go in with me, wontcha, Rev?"_

_Much as she agreed with Baryn, she was really curious. _Maybe just a couple steps, to see what it's like._ "Sure will," she replied, pasting on a smile and glancing one last time at Baryn's retreating form._

"_C'mon, then. If we don't wanna get caught, we need to leave before Master Vrook shows up."_

"_He comes here on a regular basis? Is it really a good idea for us to be in there?"_

"_Aw, come _on,_ Rev. You're usually draggin' me toward adventure, why am I draggin' you?"_

"_I don't know." Revan shook her head. "For some reason, I feel like everything will change if we go in there today. And not in a good way. Let's do something else. We can sneak in tomorrow."_

"_They're gonna change the lock tomorrow an' I won't be able to get in anymore. This is a goodbye visit. Come _on_!!" He turned and walked toward the intimidating door. Ignoring the screaming voices inside that told her to grab his arm and drag him off to do something, anything, else, Revan followed him. They had hardly closed the door when the echo of voices drifted down from one of the upper levels. "Oh, Sith's blood!" Alek dragged her back between two shelves and pushed her down. He crouched next to her. "Vrook and Zhar. He's half an hour early!"_

"_Alek, we should leave."_

"_We can't now, they'd catch us!" Alek pushed her down further, stirring up dust. Revan willed herself not to sneeze. With no choice in the matter, really, she found herself eavesdropping on the two Masters as they talked practically over her and Alek's heads._

"_We received another request for aid today," Master Zhar was saying._

"_Where is this one from?"_

"_A few of the Outer Rim planets all sent one request. They added a note that maybe together they would be important enough to finally warrant a response."_

_Revan could picture Vrook shaking his head at what he would see as impudence but she recognized as frustration the Jedi kept insisting the Mandalorian threat needed to be evaluated before they responded. "We cannot respond until we have a full understanding of the threat posed by the Mandalorians."_

"_We cannot delay much longer in a decision, Vrook. They need to know if we'll help them."_

_The two Padawans would never know Vrook's response. Revan lost her balance and tumbled into the off-balance shelf. She, Alek, and the holocrons went sprawling across the floor with enough racket to wake a krayt dragon. The Masters were down the stairs glaring sternly at the miscreants in less time then it took Alek and Baryn to gulp down breakfast in the morning._

"_What are you two doing in here?" Vrook demanded._

_They exchanged a guilty glance. "It's my fault, Master Vrook," Alek spoke up. "I talked Revan into coming in here. Don't blame her."_

"_Well, it's just as much my fault," Revan pointed out. "I let him talk me into it."_

"_This is true," Master Zhar seemed to almost chuckle. "I believe a couple hours cleaning dishes would serve you both well. The droids could use an opportunity to visit maintenance." _

_The two Padawans groaned. "Yes, Master Zhar." They bolted for the dormitory, faces on fire. _

_Later, after serving their punishment, Revan snuck into Alek and Baryn's room. Baryn had helped them, despite having done nothing wrong. The three of them were so often serving a punishment together no one thought it odd he was helping them. But they had other things to discuss tonight._

"_Do you think we'll help those planets?" Revan asked. "We should. They need help, we can help them, I don't see a reason we shouldn't. What needs evaluating?"_

"_Exactly what I think," Alek agreed. "How 'bout you, Bar?"_

_The youngest of the three shook his head. "If you two did something I'd follow you, you know that. But I think maybe we should find out more details before we pass judgment. Maybe the Masters know something we don't."_

"_I guess you're right," Revan conceded. "So, for now…" She snatched the pillow from behind Baryn and swung it at Alek._

"_Real mature, Rev," he teased as he blocked it. Before hitting her right back. "Your turn!" Soon all three of them were ducking pillows and laughed hard enough they drew the attention of one of the Masters. Revan scrambled under Baryn's bed as the white skinned Twi'lek opened the door and demanded to know what was going on. She was still fighting a laugh--_

* * *

"Kenna, it's your turn."

Kenna shook off the disorientation of going past to present so quickly. "Thanks." She rubbed sleep out of her eyes and smiled sleepily at Carth. "Get some sleep. Before you fall over."

"Yes, ma'am."

Kenna stood and leaned against the embankment, still trying to shake off the drowsiness. _Maybe he was right. You need more sleep._ She shook her head, trying to figure out if her dream was just a dream, or a memory. It had seemed so real. But dreams will do that sometimes. No, it had to be a memory. She remembered what happened next. She'd laughed. The boys had invented all kinds of reasons a girlish giggle was coming from underneath Baryn's bed. The Twi'lek didn't believe any of them, and was bending to look, which would have meant _more_ punishment when he found her, when someone called him out to the hallway. While his back was turned, Kenna, then Revan, had scrambled out, barely avoiding detection. That day had been the start of her and Malak's, then Alek, journey toward the dark side, though neither knew it then. Neither would have imagined that within a couple years they would be defying the Council and leading a group of like-minded Jedi and Padawans, including Baryn, to fight the Mandalorians.Neither suspected that they would fall--hard--when they found out about the Star Maps.

The memories came screaming back. Kenna had fallen first. Alek had been reluctant, still hoping for reconciliation with the Jedi Order, but he had eventually followed his best friend. Kenna assumed mastery because she could whup his backside in a duel. She'd proved it twice, the second time costing him his jaw, before he grudgingly submitted to her.

_I don't need to be thinking about that,_ she chided herself, _I should be paying attention to my surroundings._ She surveyed the encompassing darkness, drumming her fingers against the hilt of her lightsaber, deciding to let the memories and dreams stay dreams.


	7. Here Goes Nothing

The fact it was Kenna who woke both of them in the morning made Carth suspect the woman hadn't slept enough--again. _She pushes herself too hard._ It was like she felt she had to do everything, and it seemed worse, now that she knew she was Revan. Almost as if she felt she had to make up for her past. "How much sleep did you get?"

"S'not important," Kenna replied, muffling a yawn.

"Yes, it is. Answer the question."

"Not much," she admitted, looking at the ground instead of him. "I had Jolee wake me up when his turn was over, instead of you."

"Kenna, you needed sleep!" He didn't understand that woman. She hadn't slept in over a week, and given the opportunity to finally get some rest, she passed it up.

"So did you!" She glared at him. "Mission told me you spent more then half of every night pacing. I know you're almost as short on sleep as I am. Don't pretend like you're not!" She stormed past him, headed in the direction they had come from the night before.

"Kenna?"

"WHAT??" She whirled around, clearly in a bad mood.

_You really _do_ need sleep. _"It's that way." Carth pointed at a path that ran at a right angle to one she had started down. She huffed in frustration and stomped down the correct trail. Carth shook his head and followed her. _She's gonna kill herself. I swear, she's going to kill herself. _But he--wisely--kept his mouth shut. They walked in silence, both Carth and Jolee smart enough to let Kenna simmer down.

"Sorry."

He smiled to himself at the reluctant tone with which the apology was offered.

"Just die already!" Kenna grunted in frustration, striking the teranterak for what felt like the millionth time. _I sound like Mission_, she thought to herself. She was tired of fighting this thing. Of course, the fact that the first thing it did was try take off Carth's head--and nearly succeed-- hadn't improved her attitude toward it. Finally, the beast keeled over dead. _'Bout time._ Kenna yanked the business end of a vibroblade out of the teranterak's side and examined it. This had to be Bacca's blade, the one Freyyr wanted. "C'mon." She headed back the way they had come to find the teranterak. Carth hadn't said a word since she'd snapped at him earlier, and Jolee was apparently not the conversational type, so the walk was made in silence. After giving Freyyr the blade and promising to help him overthrow Chuundar, Kenna turned her attention to the main reason she was in this dark, depressing place: finding the Star Map. It wasn't as hard as she had thought it would be. There were only a couple paths she hadn't traveled yet. It had to be down one of them.

Of course it was the second one she checked. The computer image that activated took the form of some alien race that looked familiar to Kenna, yet she couldn't place it. It was probably a race that lived on some remote planet she had only encountered as Darth Revan. That would explain why she couldn't remember it. The computer recognized from her memory patterns that she was Revan, and simply handed over the Star Map. _Well, that was easy._ Kenna laughed to herself as Jolee sputtered something about how the thing always rejected his attempts. She looked over at Carth, debating with herself whether to bring up the proverbial bantha in the room. _Now's as good a time as any. Remember what Mission promised? You don't wanna get locked in the cargo hold, do you? _Kenna shook her head. _Alright, alright! I'll talk to him! Right now. _

"Hey, Carth?"

He looked over at her. "Yes, what's on your mind?"

Kenna took a deep breath. _This is it. Here goes nothing._ "I think it's time we talked about me being Revan, don't you?"

"If you're ready to talk, then yes, so am I." He looked nervous.

_Not good. Force, if he says he can't love me…_"And?" That one word took every bit of willpower she possessed to utter. She was risking literally everything. Her heart, her hope, her future. Everything. In a one word query.

_Here goes nothing._ Carth rubbed the back of his neck before answering. "I can't hate you." He pretended not to notice the relief that scrawled across her face with that confession. He had less welcome ones to make. "I tried…I wanted to hold you responsible for all the things you've done. For my…for my wife, for Telos…for Dustil. But I can't."

_Guess I deserve that. And at least he's honest. _Kenna hadn't missed the way his voice caught when he mentioned Morgana. But they could get into that later, if they needed to at all. For now, she was curious about something else. "Why can't you?"

_Should have known she'd ask that. _He took a deep breath and decided to be totally honest. "I got the revenge I wanted when Saul died, but it hasn't brought me the peace I thought it would. All I can think of now is the promise I made to protect you from what's going to come. It's given me a reason to look past simple revenge. Despite whatever part of Revan is inside you, the darkness that must surely be there, it _isn't_ who you are." _I'd stake my life that you're someone different now._ "That's why I can't hate you, why I don't want anymore revenge. You don't _have_ to be Revan, you can be so much more. Whatever the Jedi did to you, they gave you that chance. You have this huge destiny waiting for you, and I just fear that if you're alone it could swallow you whole." _I can't, and won't, let that happen._ "I mean, is there room in there for me? Will you let me help you?"

Heart pounding with joy, exhilaration flooding her lungs, Kenna had just one worry. "I don't want you hurt protecting me, Carth," she said hesitantly. _You have no idea what it would do to me, seeing you get hurt--or killed--trying to protect me._

_Same old Kenna; putting other people before herself. She's not turning me down that easily._ "I think I would be hurt worse if I didn't try." _I couldn't take watching you get hurt--or killed-- because I didn't at least try to protect you._

Kenna frowned in confusion. "I don't understand."

Carth sighed and tried to explain. "Whatever's happened up until this point, there's going to come a time very soon when you're going to have to make a choice. And there won't be any turning back. I want you to make the right choice." He hesitated, hoping she wouldn't take what he was about to say the wrong way. "I want to give you a reason to."

_Oh, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!!! _Exultant as his words and determination to help her were making her, Kenna found herself falling in the paranoid mood she was usually trying to pull Carth out of. "And if I make the wrong choice?" she asked, scared of his reply.

_I would never give up on you, if that's what you're worried about._ He could see the fear in her eyes. "Well, then," he replied, trying to reassure her, finding it ironic that _she _was the one being paranoid this time, "I hope I can save you. From yourself. You gave me a future," he hesitated--_Here goes nothing_-- then finished, "I want to give you a future too…with me. I think I could love you, if you give me the chance."

_Yes! Oh, yes, yes, YES!!!!!_ Kenna wanted to whoop, to cheer, to basically act very un-Jedilike. Just knowing he thought he could love her, that he forgave her and believed her, made her feel happier than she could ever remember being. But she reined in her emotions--a nearly impossible feat that would have made Bastila proud--and settled for the understatement of her life. "I think I could love you, too." _I think I already do._

He could see the pent-up emotion in her eyes, the joy practically tearing her apart. He knew exactly how she felt, because he was just as happy. Which he'd thought would have been impossible after Morgana died. "Well then I'm…I'm glad. Let's...let's face the future together, then…there's still a lot to do."

Fighting off the ridiculously fierce desire to kiss him, long and hard, Kenna nodded. She didn't trust her voice at the moment. If she tried to talk, she'd probably end up squealing. She really didn't want to do that. _Sounds good to me, flyboy._ Star Map in hand, she headed for the basket up to the Great Walkway. There _was_ still a lot to do, starting with a change in the Wookiee leadership. It was time for Chuundar--and Czerka--to go. The planet had suffered enough.

Several Wookiees who were loyal to Chuundar were waiting by the basket. Despite wanting to avoid killing, Kenna was unable to reason with them, and had to fight. She launched herself at the closest Wookiee, swinging her lightsaber furiously. Almost every time, however, the Wookiee's vibroblade blocked it. Fortunately, Carth and Jolee were slightly more successful. She watched out of the corner of her eye as first one Wookiee then the other fell. Kenna's eyes stayed on Carth and off her target a moment too long.

"Kenna, look out!"

Carth was already moving in Kenna's direction when he hollered the warning. He saw the blow coming, but was too far away to do any more then watch as Kenna barely managed to block it and went flying. "Kenna!"

She slammed into the trunk of a Woshyr tree, air driven from her lungs. _Force, that hurt!_ Kenna tried desperately to shake free of the galaxies whirling around her brain as she stood. The Wookiee swung at her again, and she rolled out of the way, disoriented and unsure where her lightsaber had ended up. She spotted it and scrambled across the ground, snatching up the weapon, and turned to face her opponent. He was already dealt with.

Carth yanked the Echani Foil free of the Wookiee's body and crossed to where Kenna crouched, halfway to her feet. "My turn," he teased, offering her a hand up.

Kenna blushed. "Shut it, handsome."

"Make me, gorgeous." He grinned as she rolled her eyes, probably the best reply, and accepted his offered hand. He pulled her to her feet. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Just a little dizzy. Thanks. And I prefer beautiful."

Kenna turned toward the basket, which fortunately was still down. "C'mon, we need to get moving. Freyyr will need our help." Who knew how many of the Wookiees would side with Chuundar. She hoped some had remained suspicious of their leader's willingness to work with Czerka, even if they didn't know about his allowing the corporation to take Wookiees as slaves.

After defeating Chuundar, with a little help from Freyyr and Big Z, Kenna was ready to head back to the _Ebon Hawk_ and find the Star Forge. She was exhausted, but worry for Bastila was growing, keeping her moving and desperate. The fear Malak would succeed in his attempt to turn Bastila was gnawing a progressively deeper and more gaping hole in her sanity.

"Kenna, you need to sleep."

She shook off Carth's advice. "I'll be fine. This is more important." She heard him sigh in exasperation. "I'm not really tired, anyway," she protested, trying to bury the yawn under her words. _Wonderful timing!_

"Y'know, beautiful, for a Jedi, you're a lousy liar," Carth chuckled. Kenna whirled around and walked backwards a few steps to glare playfully at him. Until she backed into a tree trunk. Hard.

"Ow!" She rubbed the back of her head, and glared in earnest at Carth and Jolee both as they tried not to laugh and only half succeeded.

"Sorry," Carth apologized halfheartedly, still chuckling. Kenna fought off the urge to kiss the crooked grin off his face. _You're still ticked at him, remember??_ She settled for spinning on the heel of her boot and stomping the rest of the way back to the _Hawk. _

Carth followed a few steps behind Kenna, still chuckling. Her expression had been priceless. _What I wouldn't have given for a holorecorder. I think I'm in love._ That alone shocked him. He'd been so sure he would never get past Mori. And that he was falling in love with _Revan, _of all people, who he'd sworn he would never forgive for what she'd done and caused others to do... _Never say never, I guess,_ he chuckled to himself as the three of them reached the _Hawk_.

Putting all Star Maps together pieced together a hyperspace route to a planet that previously hadn't even shown up on the galaxy map. Kenna tried to hide another yawn as she helped Carth punch in the coordinates. He didn't really need her help, and she knew it. She just wanted an excuse to avoid thinking about Bastila for a few seconds, and an excuse to spend a little more time with Carth, if she was honest about it.

"You really need to get some sleep."

Kenna rolled her eyes but conceded the point. "I know, I know." She finished and levered herself out of the co-pilot's chair reluctantly. "I just…" she sighed, rubbing her arm, not sure how to finish the sentence.

"Just what?" Carth looked up at her.

"I don't know," Kenna sighed again and brushed her fingers through her hair. "I…I guess I'm…scared." She didn't hide the fear in her eyes as she looked at him. "Hold me," she begged.

Carth checked to make sure the autopilot had engaged and stood. "C'mere." Kenna gratefully accepted, relishing the feeling as his arms slipped around her. "What are you scared of, beautiful?"

_He's so sweet._ Kenna didn't stop herself from indulging in the thought this time. "Falling asleep. Dreaming. I'm afraid I'll…"

"See Bastila?" Carth finished the sentence for her when she let it trail off. He'd never seen her looking so vulnerable before.

Kenna nodded. "Yeah. I'm sure Malak's torturing her, trying to get her to fall. To have to watch and not be able to stop it..." She shook her head and looked up at him. "I can't do that. Not again. It wouldn't be nearly as hard as…you know, on the _Leviathan_, …when it was you, but it would still be hard."

"No promises, Kenna, but maybe you'll dream about something else." He ran one hand over her hair, smoothing the rebellious strands back from her face. "All I know is that you're so tired you're going to collapse if you don't get some sleep soon. Who knows what we're going to run into. You _have_ to sleep. If I have to drag you back to bunk room and have Mission sit on you."

"Guess I don't have much choice, then," Kenna smiled. _I hope I dream about you. _"Thanks, Carth. I'm…I'm really glad I have you around." It wasn't quite an 'I love you', but they weren't quite ready for that yet. After mentally weighing the pros and cons for about half a second, Kenna pushed herself up the extra couple inches to kiss him on the cheek, but was interrupted just before making contact, so close Carth could feel her breath against his skin.

"Hey, guys, have you--whoa." Mission's grin made Kenna want to melt into the floor._ Damn it, Mish, you have horrible timing! _"Never mind. It can wait," the Twi'lek giggled.

"No, I was just heading for the bunk room anyway," Kenna spoke up quickly, pulling back. "What's up?"

"I was wonderin' if you'd seen my pazaak deck. I wanna challenge Canderous to a rematch, but I can't find it."

"I haven't seen it," Carth muttered before plopping back down in the pilot's seat.

"C'mon, we can look in the bunk room." Kenna steered Mission out of the room, knowing they would talk about what had almost happened. "Wonderful timing, by the way."

"Guess I don't need to lock you two in the cargo hold, huh?" Mission teased once they reached the bunk room. "Though maybe now you want me to."

Kenna blushed. "Shut up, Mission."

"Told you he was crazy about you."

"I need to get some sleep. And _I _was the one about to kiss _him_." Kenna kicked off her boots and flopped down on the bunk.

"He wasn't exactly resisting. I imagine you're not the only one cursing my sense of timing." Mission leaned against the wall, grinning in fiendish teenaged pride as Kenna blushed even deeper crimson.

"Probably not. Now go away so I can sleep." Kenna closed her eyes and pulled a pillow over her head, tossing the pazaak deck that had been under it to the Twi'lek.

Mission took the hint--and her deck-- and left. "Sweet dreams."

_I hope they are._


	8. Déjà vu

"I swear I'm gonna strangle that Twi'lek," Carth muttered, slouching in the pilot's seat and glaring into space. "She has the worst timing in the 'verse."

"Says who?"

Carth spun the seat around to glare at the true target of his vexation. "Says me. Would you stop sneaking in here?"

"I wasn't sneaking," Mission defended. "Is it my fault you're always distracted when I walk in?" Carth ignored the jab and spun back to stare out into space. Mission sighed. "It's not like I did it on purpose. I know you two are crazy about each other. Trust me, if I'd known, I wouldn't have walked in like that. " She grinned cheekily. "I woulda snuck in with a holorecorder."

"I bet you would have." The bite of anger edging Carth's voice had lessened.

"Look, don't stay mad at me forever, okay?"

"I couldn't even if I wanted to."

"I know," Mission smirked as she left. She'd heard the chuckle under that last statement. Both of them knew there would probably be opportunity for a retry sooner rather than later.

"_You are strong, child. But I will break you."_

"_AAAHHH!!!!" The Force Lightning ceased for a moment, just long enough for Bastila to finally drag a rough breath. It caught in something bordering on a sob as she gasped against the pain. Two days and already the pain threatened to undo her. She couldn't let him know. "I'll never fall to the dark side!" His only response was to send another burst of Force Lightning shooting through her body. "You think torture will turn me, Malak? You are a fool."_

_The Sith Lord chuckled as he paced across the room. "Torture? No, dear Bastila. You misunderstand. This is but a taste of the dark side, to whet your appetite." He crossed back over and caressed her face with one pale hand. Bastila jerked her head away, all she could do strapped down as she was. "When you finally swear loyalty to me," Malak continued, "it will be willingly."_

_Just the thought made her blood boil. "Never!" she protested vehemently, pulling against the restraints._

"_Such resolve in your words. But I see the truth in your heart. The dark side calls to you, Bastila," the Dark Lord gloated, yellow eyes gleaming. "You hunger to taste it. Become my apprentice, and all its power can be yours!" The lightning flew from his fingers to the ceiling as he laughed, then he turned all of it on her. She groaned in agony, unwilling to scream, unable to keep silent…_

"Bastila!!!" Kenna rocketed up in her bunk, heart pounding, image of her friend burned into her eyelids. She sat gasping as her breathing slowed. _It was just a dream, it was just a dream…No, it wasn't. It was a vision. Of what…_ the tears came. The tears she'd held back through so much; Karath torturing Carth, Carth's anger over her being Revan, realizing she truly, deeply loved a man who--at the time--hated her. This last image was too great a strain on the damming wall, and Kenna smothered her face in her hands and wept. Someone knocked on the door. "What?" she managed around the lump in her throat.

"It's Mission. Carth told me to tell you we're almost there. He figured you might wanna be in the cockpit. Are you okay?" The Twi'lek stuck her head in the room, concern etched on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks, Mish." Kenna ran her hand through her tangled hair. "I'll be out in a minute."

"You sure you're okay? You look like you've been crying."

"It was just a dream. I'm fine, I promise."

"Okay, if you say so." Mission disappeared from view. Kenna took a deep breath to calm herself down. _Calm down. If you go in there all upset, Carth'll get worried, and he need to focus on flying. AND he'll wanna know why you're upset. _She shuddered at the thought. Reliving that nightmare was one thing she never wanted to do again.

Kenna made her way to the cockpit, wiping her eyes and hoping they weren't too red. She walked up behind the pilot's seat. "Mission said we're getting close?"

Carth looked up at her. "Yes, we're almost to the location where the Star Map paths intersect. I thought you probably wouldn't want to sleep through that."

"You were right. Thank you." She smiled.

"Are you alright?" Carth had noticed the red around her eyes.

Kenna nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. I promise."

He didn't believe her. "Did you dream about Bastila?"

Kenna didn't answer for a long moment. She didn't want to tell him, but she didn't want to lie, either. "Yes," she finally whispered. Carth punched the autopilot and turned to give her a hug. Kenna buried her face in his chest and clung to him for support as the all-too recent memory boiled to the surface. "I'm sorry, I can't…"

"Shh…you don't need to tell me anything, beautiful." He rubbed her back. "I don't need to know." After a moment, he amended that statement. "Unless you want to talk about it. In that case, go right ahead."

Kenna shook her head. "If I never have to relive it, that'll be fine with me. He was…" She stopped herself, refusing to give voice to the sobs tearing at her throat. Carth held her closer.

The computer beeped at them, forcing Carth to let go of Kenna and put the _Hawk_ back on manual control as he brought it out of hyperspace. "Well, there it is," he commented as the space station loomed up in front of them. "The Star Forge…I've never seen anything like it." He looked up at Kenna for a second to offer her an encouraging smile, then returned his attention to the controls, hands moving over them with the ease of familiarity. "I'm transmitting these coordinates to Admiral Dodonna. Maybe a quick strike by the Republic can cripple the Sith fleet." He finished and leaned back in the seat. "Message is away. Now we can just wait for the Republic to show up. We should be safe here, we're outside their sensor range." Almost as if planning to make a liar of him, the computer emitted a string of alarmed beeps.

"What's that?" Kenna demanded, afraid she already knew.

Carth punched the cutoff button with more force than was necessary. "A small vanguard of Sith fighters, coming in hard!" _Sith's blood, where did they come from??_ "Someone needs to get on those gun turrets." Kenna was already running for the ladder. "Take them out before they report our position to the main fleet!" Carth hollered after her.

_Everything is_ finally_ going my way. You are _not_ screwing it up for me now, you sons of schuttas. _Kenna scrambled up the ladder, grabbing hold of the control for the gun sticking out of the top of the _Ebon Hawk_. Her fingers were mashing the buttons before she was even all the way in the seat, with two nearly simultaneous explosions as her reward as she got settled in. _Well, four left. _She spun the turret in the direction of the closest fighter, continuous stream of laser bolts spewing toward the fighter as it zigzagged away. Kenna cursed to herself and whirled to fire at another one, catching this one in the cockpit as the _Hawk _rocked under her.

"Hurry up!" Carth hollered at her.

"I'm trying!" Kenna yelled back, lining up her sights on the fourth fighter. Two shots earned her an explosion that showered the _Hawk_ with debris. Feeling her frustration mount as she missed several shots in a row, the fifth pilot was apparently a master at dodging, she muttered under her breath about what she was going to do to Malak when she finally got her hands on him. She could hear Carth muttering to himself in the cockpit as he maneuvered the _Hawk_ to avoid getting fried. Kenna allowed herself a brief smirk as she finally blasted the fifth ship into space dust. _One more to go._ She could breathe a little easier knowing there wouldn't be other ships firing on her while she concentrated on this one. "Gotcha!" she muttered as a laser bolt finally slammed into the wing cannon of the attacking ship. "All clear!" she called to Carth as she scurried downfrom the turret. The _Hawk _pitched sideways, tossing her off the ladder and into the wall hard enough she saw stars.

"Oh, we got problems," she heard Carth groan. "We've flown into some kind of disruptor field. All my instruments are jammed! We've got massive overloads in all systems!" She scrambled to her feet and into the cockpit. Carth's hands were flying over the controls as he struggled to keep the ship steady, a near impossible task. "I'm picking up a single planet in the system , I'll try to put us down there. Hold on. This may be a rough landing," he warned as the _Hawk_ rattled hard enough Kenna heard Mission holler in alarm.

"Whew, talk about your rough landings, Carth! What's the matter? You're flying like you've been on an all night Tarisian ale drinking binge," Mission teased after Carth managed to coax the _Ebon Hawk_ down in what was admittedly one of his rougher landings.

"That disruptor field fried our stabilizers," Carth explained. "We're lucky we made it down in one piece." He frowned. "But if we can't find the salvage to make repairs, I won't even be able to get the _Ebon Hawk _airborne again!"

"During our rather rapid descent," Juhani spoke up, "I noticed the hulls of many crashed ships scattered across the landscape. Perhaps the parts you need can be found among the wreckage."

"The Cathar's right," Canderous agreed, "This planet's a technological graveyard. I saw dozens of downed ships out there. That disruptor field must've wiped 'em all out. But where could it be coming from?"

"Even if we get the stabilizers fixed, we'll have to find and disable the source of that disruptor field before we can take off. Otherwise we'll just end up crashing again," Carth pointed out.

"That disruptor field could wipe out the whole Republic Fleet," Kenna murmured, concern darkening her grey eyes.

"You're right!" Carth looked worried. "That Sith fleet we saw must have some sort of protection against the disruptor field. We have to find a way to disable it or the Republic will be slaughtered!"

T3 beeped and warbled, causing Mission to turn and fiddle with the computer. "T3's picking up massive power fluctuations on the ship's sensors. They seem to be coming from some type of large stone structure to the east…it looks like some kind of ancient temple."

Something about the temple sounded extremely--eerily-- familiar to Kenna. "Let's go check it out." _Maybe there's something there…I've been here before…I know it._

"Good idea," Carth agreed. "If that temple's generating power it probably has something to do with that disruptor field." _I'm coming with you, Kenna. Don't even try to leave me here. _

"Hey, don't forget about Bastila, guys!" Mission reminded them, as if Kenna needed reminding. "We still have to rescue her, too."

"I only hope we're not too late," Juhani commented, concern written across her normally calm features, "Bastila has been Malak's prisoner for a long time. If he can turn her to the dark side she will join him and the Sith will be invincible."

"Bastila would never turn to the dark side!" Kenna protested, memory of her dream boiling to the surface again. _I hope._

Jolee sighed. "I fear Bastila will find the lure of the dark side difficult to resist. She is strong in the Force, but she is also impulsive, willful, and proud--as you once were, Revan."

Kenna mentally recoiled at the use of that name. "Don't call me that," she begged, "I'm not Revan anymore." _Never again. _

"I am glad to hear you say that," Jolee smiled. "Now that you know your true identity I was afraid you might slip back to the dark side. If Bastila feels as you do, there may yet be hope for her."

Kenna smirked to herself. _I'll never slip again. _She looked over at Carth out of the corner of her eye. _Not when I've been given such a very good reason to stay on the path of the light. _

"Well, if Bastila is on the Star Forge like you think, Jolee, then we can't rescue her until we disable that disruptor field. The sooner we investigate that temple to the east the better," Carth insisted. "We can probably find wreckage of a downed ship along the way. If we're lucky, we can salvage some stabilizers from it to get off this planet."

"I hope everything works out as smooth as you make it sound, Carth." Mission sounded like she'd decided to play the pessimist.

"So do I, Mission. So do I." Carth looked over at Kenna, who was lost in thought. She looked up at him. _I'm coming with you, beautiful._ For once he hoped she _had _read his mind. He'd stressed 'we', hoping Kenna had picked up his not-so-subtle hints that he was coming with her whether she wanted him to or not. From the look she was giving him, she had.

She knew he wanted to come. She wanted him to come, too. But the danger on this place… _What good is it having a war hero around if you don't trust him to take care of himself--and you???_ That was one point her more cautious side had to concede. "Alright, Carth, Juhani, you come with me. The rest of you stay here and make sure nothing happens to the _Hawk_." Even though she pretended not to, Kenna saw Mission's _"What-did-you-expect?"_ eye roll and Carth's sigh of relief. _It'll be fine. You need to stop trying to protect him. He's managed to survive rougher stuff than anything _you_ can remember. Remember those scars? If that's_ _the worst he got from the Mandalorian Wars, you need to be letting _him_ protect _you, _instead of trying to do it the other way around. But I'm trying to protect him from _me._ Not something else. Me. The former Dark Lord of the Sith. I'm afraid this planet will bring that side of me out. I can feel it calling me. Tempting me…This place feels entirely too familiar. No repeats of last time. Whenever that was._ Kenna lead the way down the ramp. She saw Mission pulling out her pazaak deck out of the corner of her eye. Apparently the Twi'lek was still trying to beat Canderous. _If you didn't win the first thirteen games, Mish, what makes you think this time will be different?_ She smiled to herself. Good thing they were playing Republic Senate rules.

Carth saw Kenna's hand tighten almost imperceptibly on the hilt of her lightsaber as they started crossing the beach. _And she says _I'm_ paranoid._ Still, her instincts were rarely--if ever--wrong, so if she thought something was wrong, something was probably wrong.

Tightening her grip was reflex as a wave of foreboding all but slammed into Kenna as the sand crunched under her boots. Something was wrong. She wasn't sure what brought on the certainty that things weren't right; it looked like any other white sand beach to be found in the galaxy, complete with brilliant blue water lapping placidly against the shore. But there was something chillingly sinister under the veneer of beauty. _I know this place, I'm sure of it. I've been here before, even if I can't remember it. That's how I know something's not right. _

The war cries of a small group of aliens who appeared around an outcropping of rock at the edge of the beach shattered the air as they charged, proving her right.


	9. Fury

_Well, that's one more I have to give her. _Carth followed Kenna as she ran toward the small attack party, not surprised her instincts had been right again. Kenna and Juhani's lightsabers hissed to life as they closed distance, Kenna twirling the hilt around her hand before slamming one blade into the chest of the attack group's leader. Carth couldn't help but chuckle. As she'd become more comfortable with the double bladed 'saber, she did that a lot more, to the point it was now practically trademark for her to spin the hilt around her hand like that before--and sometimes after--attacking. Fortunately, the only people who saw her fight more then once were allies, or that would be a very exploitable weakness. He was more than willing to content himself with covering her back; Kenna wasn't the type to slow down for anything once she was immersed in combat. He was just glad she had brought him with her. If there was such thing as a living hell, pacing a hole through the cockpit floor waiting for her to get back would be it. He was more than half in love with her, and he liked to worry anyway. Not a good combination when he couldn't tell what was going on. _If she'd taken someone else, I'd probably have annoyed the hell out of her calling her every ten minutes on the comlink. I bet she knows it, too._ Carth forced his mind off his inner dialogue as he ducked, narrowly avoiding a swipe from one of the aliens that--had it connected--would have taken off his head. _You're no good if you're distracted._ He'd heard that so many times from his commander during the Mandalorian Wars, it was almost an automatic self-remonstrance when he got distracted. That had been happening a lot recently. Kenna was very, _very_ distracting.

Kenna nearly sighed in relief when Carth ducked the attacker's swing. She wasn't sure at first if he was going to react in time. _Something keeps distracting him. I think I know what, too. Well, _who. _Me. He'd deny it, but I know it's true. _While it was nice to know he was paying that much attention to her, she didn't want him getting himself killed. She finished killing the last of the attacking aliens and did an injury inventory. She was fine, Carth had only one small cut along the side of his face, but Juhani had one hand pressed against her side, feline eyes full of pain. Kenna pulled her hand away. "Let me see."

"It is not serious."

"Juhani, let me see," Kenna insisted. She looked at the wound, and channeled the Force to heal it, knowing the Cathar was lying.

"Thank you," Juhani murmured.

"No problem." Kenna smiled. She turned to say something to Carth--probably a joke about him being distracted, but was interrupted by the arrival of a small group of Duros they had apparently just saved from a nasty, nasty end.

"You have defeated the murderous animals! We thank you, human, for saving us!"

Surprised at their sudden arrival, all Kenna managed was, "Er...no problem."

"If your arrival had not been so fortuitously timed," one of the Duros elaborated, "We would have been in great danger. We thank you again for saving us."

"What are you doing here?" Kenna asked, plain old curiosity temporarily superseding the burning desire to get to the temple.

"We had crashed here when our mining survey vessel encountered some strange sort of energy field. It disrupted our engine and power systems and forced us to make a crash landing on this world. Our ship sank far out to sea, but a handful of us were able to make it to this island…more than you see here, though."

Kenna frowned. "What happened to the rest of your companions?" She had a feeling she already knew the answer.

"Many have been killed at the hands of the locals. A few tried to swim to one of the closer islands, but we have not heard from them in many days. Of the ten of us who remained here, we two are the only survivors…"

"The native creatures killed the rest of them?" Kenna felt the anger build in her chest and shoved it down.

"They attack any they come across. They are barbaric savages who feast upon the bodies of the dead!" the alien spat passionately in reply. "The only beings who crashed here who can hold them off are the Mandalorians, and we dare not go near them….we know of their depredations too well."

"There are Mandalorians here??" Kenna demanded. _Great. Just great. Last thing I needed. More Mandalorians._

"Yes, there are. More than you might think…although that may just be because they aren't killed as easily as we are. With their weapons they raid and kill other survivors, and can fight off the natives as well. They seem to have some sort of invisibility or light cloaking shield that hides them until they strike."

"Tell me of the natives." Kenna knew more than she wanted to about Mandalorians already.

"We know little beyond what we have told you already…savages who eat the dead and attack anyone on sight. If it were not for them, this world might almost be habitable. But we cannot delay here much longer…the longer we stay, the more likely either the Mandalorians or the natives will find us and kill us."

"Why don't you try to get to one of the other islands?" Kenna suggested.

"I believe that would be the best choice…The others have not returned, but it may be because they could find no way to. It would be worth the risk, rather than stay here and face certain death… I thank you one last time, human, for saving us. We shall remember you, and hope that, should you escape, you will tell the Republic of those of us who are stranded here." The Duros headed toward the shore line. Kenna regripped her lightsaber and headed up the sand path away from the beach.

"Come on, we need to get going," she admonished over her shoulder. She had felt a shudder in the Force. It seized all her attention, reminded her that Bastila still needed them.

Carth watched her pale momentarily, but decided not to ask as he and Juhani followed Kenna up the path. It was probably some Jedi thing he wouldn't understand anyway. Another group of the strange aliens was waiting around a curve in the path, and attacked almost before their presence registered. Carth mentally thanked the Force for instincts, which were the only reason he had his swords up in time to block the attacking alien's swing from taking off his arm. He heard Kenna grunt, and looked over in time to see her fly back into one of the surrounding rocks, slamming hard into the unyielding surface as her lightsaber tumbled from her hands. The alien whose blow sent her flying was right behind her, intent on skewering her on his sword.

"Kenna!" It was like being in the Shadowlands all over again, only this time he didn't think he could get over there fast enough. His own fight had forced him to move until nearly ten feet of ground separated him from Kenna. It now seemed like a hundred, for the mere split second he had to do _something_, anything. _What I wouldn't do for a blaster!_ In sheer desperation, he threw his Echani Foil as hard as he could, smirking in satisfaction when his guess proved accurate and the weapon buried six and a half inches of its length in the alien's shoulder and threw him off his course toward Kenna. Unable to reach her lightsaber, the Jedi yanked the sword out and took off the alien's head before diving right back into the fight. Now fighting with only Bacca's blade, Carth finished off the alien attacking him. He was too absorbed in the fight to notice the alien circling behind him until Kenna screamed his name, and then it was too late.

"NO!!!!!" A ferocity Kenna hadn't even known she possessed seized her in that crystallized moment as she watched the alien bury its sword savagely in Carth's side. Seeing him collapse on the sand unlocked a part of her that had remained untapped throughout the entirety of the mission. The deep, desperation-driven fury that outdid ten Sith Marauders for sheer killing power shocked their assailants, and even had Juhani stepping back, wisely leaving the remaining four aliens to Kenna. _It's my fault. If he hadn't helped me he would have been paying more attention, and he would have noticed. If he's dead, I'll never, ever forgive myself. If I got him killed…_ The thought only increased her attacks. She plunged almost the entire blade of the Echani Foil into the chest of one alien and left it there, used the Force to call her lightsaber into her hand and simultaneously heal herself and her companions, desperately hoping it wasn't too late for Carth, and dispatched with the rest of the aliens faster than would be thought humanly possible. The one time she felt herself slow, all it took was one look at Carth to return the fury, the desperation. _Don't give in to the anger…that's the path to the dark side…If I can save him, I don't frackin' care._ She knew any Jedi from the academy would have shaken their head at her for thinking such a thing, but that was irrelevant at the moment.

As the last of the aliens crumpled to the ground, minus its head and one arm, Kenna turned. To her indescribably immense relief, Carth staggered to his feet and leaned against the rock, clutching one hand against the bloody wound just below his ribcage, his face white with pain. _Oh, thank the Force. If I'd lost him…_ She didn't want to think about it.She hurriedly crossed the open space between them, yanking the Echani Foil out of the alien corpse as she passed. "Let me see."

Carth was only too happy to oblige. The mere fact he was alive was miracle enough. He didn't have the strength to argue, and gingerly pulled his hand away from the gash when she drew closer. Kenna pressed her hand against the wound, ignoring the blood that quickly coated her hand, and summoned the Force. Once she finished, Kenna pulled her hand back. Under the battle-scored armor and the blood, the skin was healed. "Thanks."

"I owed you," she smiled, turning the handle of the sword in her hand so she could give it back to him. "Thank _you_. How many times does that make that you've saved my life?"

"Two fewer than you've saved mine." He grinned, wanting nothing more than to pull her close and kiss her, but she turned before he could, eyes already on Juhani, making sure the Cathar was alright. Having stepped back to let Kenna have the whole raiding party, Juhani was uninjured, so Kenna turned back to Carth.

"You okay?" She rested one hand gently on his shoulder.

Carth nodded, cursing how quickly she turned back to the task at hand. _Hold still and let me kiss you, beautiful! _He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck as he followed Kenna up the left hand of the path's two branches. After curling around, the small track emptied onto another beach, crawling with more of the strange native aliens, as well as several young rancors. One of the aliens stood as if waiting for them, and addressed Kenna as they drew near.

"Stay your weapons, interloper," the alien commanded in a strange language. "We are not here for battle or blood. We bring you an invitation from the One, Great Champion of the Rakata."

Kenna screwed her face up in confusion. "Rakata? The One? What are you talking about?" she demanded in the same language almost before she realized she was speaking. _Where did _that_ come from??_

"Wait a minute--you understood those creatures?" Carth interrupted, then she saw the realization strike him at the same moment it came to her. "Of course…you and Malak must have been here before. You…you probably learned their language back when you were Revan."

'_When you _were_ Revan.' Sweetest words I've ever heard. He's really truly over it._ Kenna smiled.

"You have used strange magics and weapons to slaughter our raiding parties, interloper," the Rakatan continued. "You have bathed in the blood of fierce Rakatan warriors. Your power and skill in battle has impressed the One. He wishes an audience with you: a great honor. Come with us and we will take you to him."

Not seeing any way around it, Kenna shrugged. "Okay. Take me to the One."

Despite private misgivings that this was a very, very bad idea, Carth followed without complaint. "I assume you have a plan?" he muttered.

Kenna nodded. "Trust me," she whispered back with a smile, knowing he would.

"Always," he promised, meaning it.


	10. Sins of the Past

The Rakatan led them into a large chamber, where another of the aliens, clad as a chief, waited.

"Revan. Somehow I knew we would meet again," the One began without preamble when Kenna walked in the room. "Even when you vanished, I knew you would not forget the vow you swore to me. And when my scouts told me of a great warrior from the sky slaughtering our raiding parties with mysterious powers and magics, I knew you had at least returned!"

"I'm not Revan anymore," Kenna replied. "That part of me is gone. I'm Kenna Tasman now."

The One looked perplexed. "Your words are confusing. I recognize you: you are the one called Revan. You are the one who came here before; you and Malak, the one who served you. You promised to slay our enemy. In exchange for our aid you swore to destroy the Elders and bring us their secrets. Are you saying this means nothing to you now?" he demanded angrily.

"My mind was destroyed," Kenna protested, hearing Carth adjust his grip on his swords behind her. Even if he couldn't understand what the One was saying, he understood the tone. "My memories were lost." _Calm down, flyboy. _Even as she thought it, Kenna herself tensed in preparation to defend herself should the One attack.

But he didn't. "I believe you, Revan, " he conceded. "I sense there is something different about you. Something that has changed. You are not the same as you were before." _You got that right, _Kenna chuckled to herself as he continued, "Yet the power of magic--what you call the Force--is within you still. You can still destroy the Elders and fulfill your vow!"

Kenna sighed in resignation. "What was this vow, exactly?"

"You vowed to kill the Elders and bring us the secret knowledge they protect. In exchange, we promised to use the lost knowledge to help you enter the Temple of the Ancients," the One explained patiently. "When you vanished, we thought you had forgotten us--or been killed by the Elders. Now that you have returned our alliance still holds: destroy the Elders, and we will help you."

Kenna didn't like the sound of that. From what she'd seen and heard of these Rakata, they were barbaric, cannibalistic savages. Something deep inside her seemed to urge her not to agree, that it would be better to ally with the Elders. But if she'd promised…was she still bound by that promise? "Temple of the Ancients? I still don't remember anything," she admitted, trying to stall answering the One's demand.

"I suppose if what you say is true--that you cannot remember when you were last here--than you must have many questions. Very well, Revan. I will help you to understand. And then you will destroy the Elder tribe and fulfill the oath you swore to us long ago."

Relieved he was going to humor her, Kenna shrugged. "You should probably begin with the last time I was here."

The One nodded assent. "You arrived with Malak--your servant--three of your galactic standard years ago. My scouts saw your sky ship plummet to the earth and they went to loot the crash site. They tried to take you prisoner, but you unleashed your magic--what you call the Force--upon them. Seeing your power, they bowed before you and brought you here to me. You used your power to rip the Rakatan language from my mind, even as you drove Basic into our skulls so we could help you in your quest to find something called the Star Forge. But the answers you sought lay within the Temple of the Ancients, and we could not help you enter the Temple. The Elders alone hold its secrets, guarding them with their very lives."

"You say my ship crashed. Was it because of the disruptor field?" Kenna asked, still stalling.

The One shook his head. "I know nothing of this disruptor field, but throughout the history of our tribe ships have fallen from the sky," he explained, "It has always been this way; though in recent generations it has become more frequent. We have little understanding of such magic to make metal fly, but my scouts rush to take whatever we can carry from the crash sites in the hopes we may one day unlock these secrets. That was how we acquired our rancor war beasts. Several very young specimens were recovered from a crashed vessel. We raised them to adulthood, training and breeding them to be loyal beasts of war."

Another thought dawned on Kenna. "I need parts to repair my ship."

"That I cannot help you with. Although we have recovered many strange devices from the sky ships that crash to earth, their use is a mystery to us. As a show of good faith, I will allow you to search the stores of our tribe, and take whatever you find. In exchange, I know you will destroy the Elders and bring the secrets they guard back to me."

_Again with the destroying the Elders! I get the point already, bantha brain! _"Tell me about the Temple of the Ancients." That had to be the structure that Mission noticed, the one that sounded eerily familiar to her. Kenna wanted to know as much about as possible before venturing inside.

"There is little I can tell you about the Temple," the One said apologetically, "I know the secrets of our ancestors are contained within, but the Temple itself is barred to us. When last you were, you and Malak sought to enter the Temple. You sought ancient knowledge and a way to escape this world within its stone walls. But only the Elders know how to bypass the barrier that surrounds it. Destroy them and bring back their secrets to us, and we will help you enter the Temple. That was our agreement."

"Tell me more about the Elders." Kenna wanted to know if this other tribe was better than the savages she had already encountered, or just more of the same. The tribe of the One already had two huge black marks against them: they had attacked her twice, and--more importantly-- nearly killed Carth. For her to side with the One, the Elders would have to be pretty fracking horrible.

"The Elders guard the ancient secrets," the One began, "Within their compound is the knowledge of power and magic: including the knowledge of how to enter the Temple itself. I have lost many warriors storming the gates of their compound, but they use weapons of light and fire against us, and not even our war beasts are strong enough to breach their defenses. Sometimes we can capture an Elder when they venture forth from their compound and we have learned something about them. That is how we know they guard the ancient secrets. But no matter what tortures we inflict upon them, they will not reveal their secrets to us. They fear the knowledge they themselves guard, and they will never willingly surrender it to us."

Kenna's mind was made up when the One talked of torturing prisoners. She would never willingly assist him. He and his tribe were barbaric savages, killing with no regard to whom their blades felled. But she didn't want to fight him if she didn't have to, either. She did the only thing that came to mind.

"I will kill the Elders and bring you back their secrets." She was lying through her teeth, but hopefully the One wouldn't figure that out.

"I see you have changed much since our last meeting. I am confident you won't betray us this time." The One nodded. "The compound of the Elders is to the south, beyond the Temple of the Ancients. From torturing the few Elders we have captured, we know something of what lies beyond the gates. The Elders are few in number. If you can get past the outer defenses, you could surely slaughter them all. Then you can bring us back the knowledge they guard."

There was only one flaw in that plan that Kenna could see. "If I kill the Elders, can I bring you their secrets?"

"There was one prisoner," the One explained, "an Elder whose mind broke under our tortures. He raved of ancient rituals of lost power and forgotten secrets! Unfortunately, most of his dying screams made no sense. Yet in his last hours he spoke of a book: an ancient tome that recorded the most powerful knowledge of the Elders, and detailed the rituals that could unleash the secrets. I am certain this ancient tome will allow me to unleash what has, for so long, been hidden by the Elders. Bring me this book and I will use the knowledge within it to help you enter the Temple."

His talk of the Elder who broke under their tortures made Kenna want to smash her lightsaber into his face--without bothering to turn it on. "Don't worry," she lied, "I will slay the Elders and honor our deal."

The One nodded. "When you have it, bring it here to me. Until then, you may move freely about our village. I will be waiting for your return."

Kenna nodded and walked out.

"What--" Carth began before Kenna cut him off.

"Wait 'til we're outta here," she whispered, reaching back and taking his hand in hers.

As soon as they were away from the Rakatan settlement, Carth pulled Kenna to a stop. "What did you say in there? What did _he_ say?" He hadn't understood a word; the whole conversation had been in the Rakatan language.

"He told me I was here before. With Malak. That I promised to wipe out some other tribe on the other side of the Temple and bring him their secrets and in exchange they would let me in the Temple, which was where I needed to go. I apparently never held up my end of the deal. That's Sith for you." Kenna gave a wry smile. "He wants me to make good on it now."

"Doesn't seem fair," Carth commented.

She cocked her head in confusion. "What doesn't?"

"Him expecting Kenna to keep Revan's promise."

Kenna stared at him for a second before hugging him so tightly she nearly strangled him. "Thank you," she whispered. _Yes! Oh, yes, yes, yes!_ If she needed any more definite proof that he believed her about being a completely different person now, she'd just gotten it.

" You're welcome," Carth chuckled. "So, what did you tell him?"

She leaned back against one of the surrounding rocks. "Well, I considered telling him there would be rainforests on Hoth before I'd help a group of barbaric savages like his tribe. But I didn't want to fight him if I didn't have to, so I told him I'd do it."

"What??"

She smiled sheepishly. "I lied. I have absolutely no intention of helping them. I just hope I have an easier time convincing the Elders I'm…not who I was."

"You're really something else, you know that?"

She grinned at him. "So I've been told. Let's go."

"Right behind you, beautiful." Kenna blushed but didn't say a word as she led the way up the path.

The computer at the entrance to the Elders' settlement recognized her as Revan and let her in because the council wanted to talk to her. _Oh, great,_ Kenna winced mentally,_ They probably want to take me to task for all my sins._ Suppressing her fears and doubts, she led the way into the council chambers.

"We of the Elder Council did not expect to see you again, Revan," began the leader in the Rakatan language, "We thought you had betrayed us. Why have you returned to our village after all this time?"

Kenna blinked in confusion. "I spoke to you before? What did I want?"

The Elder eyed her suspiciously. "Is this some kind of test, Revan? Some type of trick?" he demanded angrily. "You came seeking our aid: you came in search of a way to enter the Temple of the Ancients. You claimed to be seeking a way to destroy the Star Forge, and we were foolish enough to believe you. Unaware of your true nature, we helped you enter the Temple. But you betrayed us, Revan. Instead of destroying the terrible legacy of our ancestors you unleashed the evil of the Star Forge upon an unsuspecting galaxy. And now you stand before the Council of Elders once more. And once more we ask you: for what reason have you returned, Revan?"

_Oh, Sith's blood._ Kenna had planned on asking for their help to enter the Temple and destroy the Star Forge, but if she had done that as Revan and betrayed them, stating that as her purpose would only breed skepticism. So she settled for blunt honesty. "I'm sorry, I have no memory of our last meeting."

She could see in his eyes the Elder didn't believe her. "Do you think we are fools, Revan?" he scoffed. "Do you think we have forgotten how you fled to us last time? Why should we believe you now?"

"My mind was destroyed, all my memories were lost," Kenna explained, knowing it would be hard to convince him. "It changed me. I am not who I once was."

The Elder looked as though he was considering what she had said. "They say that the experiences of our past make us what we are. If it is true that you have lost your memories, then perhaps you have changed. But how are we to know that this is not some trick, Revan?"

Kenna gave it her best shot. "That part of me that was Revan is dead. I am Kenna Tasman now."

The Elder shook his head. "You say you are not who you once were, yet here on our world you repeat the pattern of your last visit. Like the last time, you have crashed here. Like the last time, you have come seeking our help. How have you changed, Revan?" he demanded.

"I cannot prove what is in my heart." Kenna shrugged. "I only ask you to judge me by my actions."

This time, he nodded. "We sense you mean the words you speak. But words are easy to say; it is actions that prove the true nature of your character. You must prove to us that you are not the same as you once were, Revan. You must prove that you have changed."

"How can I prove that?" Kenna demanded eagerly. If she could redeem herself, she wanted to, no question about it.

"Recently, several of our scouts were captured by the One," the Elder explained, "Most of them were brutally slaughtered, but we have information that one of the scouts is still alive. They will use unimaginable tortures to force the scout to reveal everything he knows about our tribe. And once the One is done with him, the scout will be executed like the others. You must prove you have truly changed by risking your own life to save another. Rescue our scout from the clutches of the One, and we will consider helping you."

"So you want me to kill the One?" Kenna raised an eyebrow.

"We would prefer if you could find some way to save the prisoner without bloodshed, but we don't believe that will be possible. The One does not like to negotiate."

"So, if I save the prisoner, you'll help me?" Kenna clarified.

The Elder nodded. "Risking your life to save the prisoner would show us that you are sincere about making amends for the past."

"I'll be back after I rescue that prisoner," Kenna promised.

"The prisoner is being held in the chamber of the One himself. Return to us once he is free. Until then, you have free run of our Enclave."

Kenna turned to Carth and Juhani. "Come on." .

"So, where to now?" Carth asked, offering Kenna his hand.

She took it. "Back to the One. He's holding an Elder scout as a prisoner, the Council wants me to rescue the scout to prove I've changed. Apparently Revan already used the 'Let me in so I can destroy the Star Forge' card, but I was lying. The sins of the past have a nasty way of catching up to you." Kenna shrugged gamely and headed up the path.

"So, what, if we save this scout, they'll help you?"

"Exactly. I hope. His exact words were they would consider helping me, but he gave a strong impression it was assured if I help them, they'll help me. We can handle some Rakata and a few rancors." She shrugged. "'Specially since we both practically go berserk if the other gets hurt or is in danger."

"Wish I had your confidence, gorgeous."

"Told you I prefer 'beautiful', remember?" Kenna teased, squeezing his hand before letting go to lead the way.


	11. I Promise

Unfortunately, the One had eyes everywhere. A war party waited on the beach outside the Rakatan Enclave. "We have seen you, interloper! You are a servant of the Elders. By order of the One, you must die!" the leader spat angrily before all five Rakatan and three rancors attacked.

The battle was longer than it needed to be, and incredibly draining. Kenna and Juhani felt they were sucking the last dregs of a long-dry cup when they called on the Force, and all three were exhausted when they finally struck down the last of the rancors. Fortunately, however, their injuries were minor; cuts and scrapes all around, and Carth was sure his side was entirely black and blue from getting thrown into rocks multiple time by that last fracking rancor.

"You alright?" Kenna asked, watching him massage the bruise.

Carth nodded. "I'm fine, beautiful."

"You sure? No broken ribs or anything?"

He shook his head. "No. I'm fine, I promise. Just bruised. Now let's get going."

"Let's, flyboy." Kenna smiled and made for the door.

They had to fight their way through the settlement into the chambers of the One. When he saw them, he scowled. "The Black Rakata shall never fall to you!" He pulled a lever, releasing three rancors from their cages. _No more rancors!_ Kenna wanted to scream, but focused instead on killing the beasts. When the last of them fell, she let Juhani handle healing again, having drained herself entirely healing during the battle. She needed it the most. Carth and Juhani had taken a rancor apiece, but that still left one to attack her while she was focused on the One. She'd already been exhausted when she finally killed him, but immediately having to face a nearly uninjured rancor almost did her in. She simply stood there and let the healing energy of the Force slide over her.

Once she was strong enough, she headed for one of the side rooms. The Elder scout was there, badly wounded but still alive.

"You…you have saved me from the savages and their war beasts," he groaned when Kenna approached him.

"I was sent by the Council to save you," she assured him.

"I don't know what I would have done if you had not come. I suppose I would be dead now, like the others they captured with me." He looked sadly at the bodies impaled on spears in the corner of his cell. "Thank you for saving me. I shall attempt to return to the Enclave on my own. I will tell the Council of what you have done." Limping heavily, he crossed the main chamber and disappeared toward the door.

"Well, I guess we're done here. Let's go. I want to get this over with." Kenna turned and followed the wounded scout's path.

Kenna didn't waste any time returning to the Elders' Enclave. She really did want to be done with this. She went back before the Council, hoping she had changed their minds.

"Revan, you are back. Our scout told us of how you rescued him. His injuries are severe, but we believe he will survive. We are grateful for what you have done."

"So now will you help me?" Kenna probed.

"Risking your own life to save our scout seems to prove that you have changed significantly since the last time you were here, Revan. But you have deceived us before. We must discuss this in greater detail. We must have some privacy, Revan. We will return when our deliberations are done." The Council left the room to deliberate. They were gone for what seemed hours but was in reality only one. Kenna paced the whole time, so lost in thought Carth decide against interrupting her.

Finally, the Council returned. "Revan, you have rescued a member of our tribe from the One at great personal risk to yourself. We believe this actions shows you have truly changed since your last visit here. The Council has decided we will trust you once more. For many generations we have sought a way to enter the Temple and discover the means to destroy the Star Forge. But only those who command the Force--those like you-- can enter the Temple of the Ancients. We no longer have that power. That was why we helped you when you were here before. But you cannot enter the Temple without our help, Revan. Only the ancient rituals of our people can lower the shields for you to enter. You need us as much as we need you."

Nearly collapsing from relief they would help her, Kenna replied, "Looks like we'll be working together, then."

"For our own sake, and that of the entire galaxy, we hope you truly mean to atone for your past evils. When you are ready, Revan, we will take you to the Temple. But the Temple is a place of sacred power. If you are to enter you must do so alone, in the tradition followed by our Rakata ancestors for the past thousand generations."

_But I don't want to go in without help. Especially without Carth._ Kenna's heart rebelled at the mere thought. "Why do I have to go in alone?"

"We believe you truly mean to destroy the Star Forge this time. But the lesson of the past is not easily forgotten. We will not defile the sacred ritual a second time; only you may enter."

"When I am ready, I will enter the Temple alone," Kenna acquiesced reluctantly. _How in the world am I going to convince Carth to let me go alone? The man's got a protective streak a mile wide._

"Then it is done," intoned the Elder. "You have only to let us know when you are ready to enter the Temple."

_Might as well get it over with,_ Kenna muttered to herself. "I want to enter the Temple now."

"The time has come for you to atone for your past crimes, Revan. But the task ahead will be difficult. Those you call dark Jedi-- followers of your old apprentice--now dwell within the Temple."

_Well, that's an unforeseen complication._ "There are dark Jedi in the Temple? How did they get there?"

"The last time you and Malak entered the Temple you must have found the controls to raise and lower the shields," explained the Elder. "those inside can lower the barrier to allow other Force users to enter and exit the Temple. But they will not be able to prevent us from using the ritual to gain you access," he assured her, "Once inside, however, we can do nothing to help you. Go to the Temple now. We will meet you there once the ritual has been prepared. Remember: in accordance with ancient Rakata tradition you _must_ enter the Temple alone."

Kenna nodded and left, trying to figure out how she was going to get Carth to agree to let her go alone.

"What did they say?" the pilot demanded as they followed the path to the Temple. "What's wrong? Aren't they going to help you?"

"Yes, they'll help," Kenna said softly. "They agreed to let me in the Temple."

"Then what's wrong??" Carth repeated, turning her to face him. "Kenna?"

"They'll let me in, but I have to go alone."

It took a second to sink in. "Like hell you're going alone," Carth scoffed when it did. "I'm coming with you."

"You _can't_." Kenna rubbed one hand against the stubble on his face, wanting nothing more than to be able to take him with her. "For one thing, only Force users can go in."

"Then--" he began. _At least take Juhani. I really don't want you going alone._

"But their traditions state only one person may enter. They were incredibly firm on that. I had to promise to go in alone. And despite what Revan thought of promises, Kenna keeps them." Kenna hugged him desperately tight. "I don't like it any more than you do, Carth. But I'll be alright. I promise. Now," she stepped back, " when we get to the top of the path, you and Juhani go back to the _Ebon Hawk_ and wait for me."

"Nothing doing. If I can't go in with you, I'll wait right outside."

"Carth, please. I can _not_ be wondering if you're alright while I'm in there. Promise me. Promise you'll go back to the _Hawk._"

He stared at her silently for a long moment before answering. "I promise." It was the hardest promise he ever made. But he kept it. When they reached the Temple, he hugged her close, kissed her forehead, and headed for the _Hawk_. Juhani followed him.

* * *

When they reached the ship, Carth headed for the cockpit and plunked down in the pilot's chair. He kicked the console in frustration, wishing more than anything that he could have gone with Kenna. But even if she was allowed to take companions inside with her, only Force users could go in, effectively eliminating any chance he could do any more than wait. Carth groaned in frustration and abandon the chair the pace the hallway joining the cockpit to the main hold. Juhani had sat down next to Jolee, and the two Jedi were meditating. _Wish I could be that calm,_ Carth grumbled to himself when he caught sight of them. Jolee suddenly went rigid, and then he and Juhani looked at each other and scrambled to their feet. They dashed for the boarding ramp.

"What just happened? Where are you going?" Carth demanded.

"Kenna cannot go in there alone. We're going with her. We had a…vision," Juhani explained.

"Good luck convincing the Rakata," Carth muttered. "They made her promise to go in alone."

"I know that! But we have to go with her. She's going to face something in there that she can't handle alone!"

_I knew it!_ "Well, take care of her for me."

Juhani nodded. "We will. I promise." Then they were gone.

* * *

Kenna watched Carth and Juhani until they were out of sight before approaching the Elder ritual guide.

He bowed to her slightly in greeting. "I will begin the ritual. It will take many hours, but when it is complete you must be ready…the shields will not stay down for long." Kenna nodded, and the Elders knelt and began the ritual, chanting in their language. Suddenly the guide looked up. "Wait…someone is coming!"

Jolee ran up the path, Juhani right behind him. "Wait…you can't go in there alone!"

"What're you doing here?" Kenna demanded in confusion.

Juhani explained, "We have had a…a premonition. The Force has given us a vision. There is great danger within the Temple. We cannot let you face it alone."

"You might be walking into a trap," Jolee elaborated, "maybe Malak himself is waiting inside. Even if he isn't, that Temple will be crawling with Dark Jedi. You'll need all the help you can get."

Much as she would appreciate the help… "Jolee--you can't come. The Rakata won't allow it."

The old man shook his head. "Your destiny--maybe the fate of the entire galaxy--could be forever changed inside that Temple. I'm not about to let you face that alone. Not after my premonition. There's a reason I had that vision."

Juhani nodded her agreement. " Jolee speaks for both of us. You must enter the Temple, but we must go with you."

"So you just tell that guide of yours to do whatever he has to do to get us all inside the Temple," Jolee insisted.

Unsure how he would react, Kenna turned to the guide. "I'm not going alone, after all. Lower the shield."

"No!" the Elder said adamantly, "You must enter the Temple alone! I will not lower the shields!"

"I don't know what he said, but it sounds like your guide is being stubborn," Jolee commented. "We don't have time for this. The Republic Fleet is on the way and we're stuck on this planet until we deactivate that disruptor field. You have to convince him to get us inside that Temple!"

Kenna gave it her best shot. "I cannot destroy the Star Forge alone. They must come with me into the Temple."

The guide thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "I…I believe you. The Elders have said you wish to destroy the Star Forge and end the terrible legacy of our ancestors. If you need help to do this, I will not stand in your way. I will resume the ritual now."

Jolee sighed. "Why do I get the feeling this is going to take a while? Still, we better stay ready. As soon as those shields go down we need to get inside the Temple."

They stood waiting as the Rakata resumed the ritual. Finally, the shields went down, and the three Jedi raced inside. As they crossed the threshold, Kenna heard a voice echoing in her mind, unmistakably Malak's. "_My new apprentice is nearly ready." _She inhaled sharply as the echo faded. _No. No, Bastila would never…would she?_ Kenna shook her head at herself and turned to her companions. "Let's go." Although both were curious what just happened, they simply nodded and followed her. Kenna walked up to the massive door straight ahead of them and tried to open it. The lock wouldn't give her an inch, no matter how many times she tried, she could not get it to open. Finally, nearly cursing in frustration, she headed down one of the two hallways by the door.

The rooms were full of dark Jedi and sentry droids. Kenna was extremely grateful she had Jolee and Juhani with her. She was strong, but going through this whole Temple by herself would have taxed her to the limit. She fiddled with the security lock on the next door until it popped free and the door slid open. The two Dark Jedi in the room jumped up.

"Who dares intrude on our meditations?" the woman spat. "You know the penalty for…Revan--you are back!" she exclaimed in shock.

Kenna shook her head. "I am Revan no longer. I serve the light and the Jedi Council now."

The woman shook her head. "Malak told us what happened to you. The Jedi Council has stripped you of your power. You are a shell of what you once were."

The man spoke up. "You are not fit to rule the Sith anymore, Revan. Darth Malak will reward us greatly for destroying you!" They attacked.

_I wish people would stop saying I'm no longer powerful just because I serve the light. You wanna see what I can still do??_ Kenna found herself fighting the anger rising in her chest as she battled the two dark Jedi. They would never have even managed to beat her if she had been alone. With Juhani and Jolee's help, she was basically invincible. After the two fell, Kenna explored the hallway behind the room. It led to a small room, empty save for a slab of rock leaning against the wall catty-corner. _This is where Malak tortured Bastila,_ Kenna realized, matching the few available features of the room to images burned in her memory from that cursed vision. _Oh, Force…_ She turned and left the room without a word.

They finally found their way down through the catacombs to a chamber housing a computer. It greeted her with, "Welcome back, Revan. It had been some time since you last accessed my database. I was beginning to wonder if you had been terminated."

"You recognize me?" Kenna asked in surprise, deciding not to bother correcting the machine that she was no longer Revan.

"Of course," the computer replied in the Rakatan language, "The Builders constructed me with a full range of sensory input systems to compliment my fully aware and self sufficient programming. I recognize your appearance from your last visit, which is stored in my databanks. However, I am detecting some significant changes in your composition since your last visit. Your neurological patterns exhibit subtle yet substantive alterations in both thought patterns and information processing. These changes have been noted and recorded in my databanks."

"Your databanks?" Urgent as it was to disable the disruptor field, Kenna was curious about this computer.

"I am a completely self-sufficient, autonomous, interactive database constructed by the Rakata to record and store the entire history of the species. However, after the collapse of the Infinite Empire, there have been few events worth recording, and nobody has sought to access the information stored within my database…until you came along. Due to my systems ability to monitor and repair themselves, you will find all the data within my archives has remained fully intact. Please choose the topic you would like information on."

Since there was really only one at the moment, "How can I shut down the disruptor field around this planet?"

"The Disruptor Field was constructed as the Star Forge's primary defense against enemy attack, and can only be deactivated from the upper levels of the Temple."

The door hadn't opened when she tried it. "How can I _get_ to the upper levels of the Temple?" Kenna asked.

"My systems control the doors to the upper levels, allowing only those who are worthy of the Rakata legacy to pass. The last time you were here, Revan, I unsealed the doors for you. However, the subtle neurological changes I detected earlier likely caused a failure in the recognition system that would have opened the doors for you. I have updated my database to recognize the new configurations in your mind, Revan. The doors to the upper levels will once again open for you."

Glad she had what she came for, Kenna decided it was time to go. "I'll be going now."

"As you wish," the machine replied, "Please return if you find yourself in need of the information stored in my database." Kenna nodded, even though she wasn't sure the computer could see her, and left the room. They made it back to the door without any surprises. Kenna tried to open it again. This time it slid open without hesitation. Kenna sighed with relief, not even caring about the sentry droid on the other side. Jolee fried it with Force lighting before she could even activate her lightsaber. She thanked him and headed up the ramp. There were no rooms on the upper level, just a large covered area with a doorway to the open roof, which was probably where the computer to disable the disruptor field would be. Kenna headed for it, then stopped in her tracks facing the one sight she would never have predicted seeing here.

Bastila.


	12. Moment of Truth

She heard Juhani gasp behind her as her own grip instinctively tightened on the hilt of her lightsaber. Kenna walked forward cautiously. Something was not right here. And it wasn't just the black robes Bastila was now wearing that pushed that conclusion forward.

"Revan--I knew you'd come for me," Bastila began dismissively, "Malak thought you might be afraid to enter the Temple again, but he doesn't know you like I do. Not anymore. Not since you've changed."

"Quickly, Bastila--come with us!" Juhani urged. "We have to escape before Malak arrives!"

"Escape?" Bastila laughed scornfully. "You don't understand. I have sworn allegiance to Lord Malak and the Sith; I am no longer a pawn of the Jedi Council," she declared proudly.

Kenna felt her world collapse, as surely as if she had found the woman dead. _No, no, NO! Bastila…no! Don't make me kill you, too! _As much of a pain as she had been, Kenna knew Bastila had cared about her, worried about her falling, and now Bastila herself had fallen. Struggling to wrap her mind around this unexpected catastrophe, Kenna asked, "A pawn of the Jedi Council? What are you talking about?" Maybe she could talk her out of this; avoid fighting her. _I don't want to fight--or--kill--Bastila! I can't!_

"Surely you know what I mean, Revan. Look at what they did to you; they turned you into their puppet. The same thing they do to all who are strong in the Force. They speak of the dark side as if it is something to be feared. But in reality their only goal is to manipulate those who are strong in the Force."

_And Malak doesn't do that?_ Kenna though sarcastically.

"The fear of the dark side is a tool to maintain control. Why do you think the Jedi forbid you and Malak from joining the Mandalorian Wars? They knew you would realize your true potential and break free of their domination," Bastila lectured. "Malak has shown me how the Jedi Council have been using me the same way they tried to use you. They've been holding me back because they knew one day I would surpass them all."

Reeling from what hurt worse than an hour in a torture cage, Kenna blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "No--I don't believe it! How could you betray us like this, Bastila?"

Her former friend smirked. "I resisted at first. I endured the Sith torments with the passionless serenity of a true Jedi; emptying my mind," she explained contemptuously. "But after a week of endless tortures I finally saw the truth. Malak forced me to acknowledge my anger and pain. He showed me the liberating power of these emotions. Then he made me see how the Jedi Council has denied me what is mine by right! They gladly used my Battle Meditation in their wars, but they still treated me like a child--like an inferior."

_Maybe if you didn't _act _like a child half the time_. Kenna remembered back on Taris, right after she rescued the Jedi from the Vulkars, when Bastila had laid into both her and Carth until he snapped back that she was acting like a spoiled child. Apparently, his warning hadn't helped. Kenna turned her attention back to Bastila's tirade.

"They were jealous of my power…of what I could become! They wanted me to bow and call them Master and follow their Code and obey their every order," she growled petulantly. "But all the while they were exploiting my Battle Meditation for their own use!"

"Don't be lured in by these Sith lies, Bastila," Kenna begged.

"Lies??" Bastila exclaimed incredulously. "You are the one living a lie, Revan," she spat. "The Jedi Council made you into something you are not; they programmed you to be their slave. You used to be Revan, Master of the Sith, but no longer."

_You say that like it's a bad thing_, Kenna smirked.

"You are simply a pawn of the Jedi Council and the Republic they serve…like I once was until Malak freed me from their shackles!" Bastila sneered. "A pity the power you once had is so diluted in you. You could have been as strong as I am now…stronger, even. But that will never happen now. With the power of the Star Forge, Malak will destroy the Republic and conquer the galaxy. And I will be the apprentice at his side--after I prove my worth by killing you!"

_Oh, no, don't make me! _Kenna thumbed on her lightsaber reluctantly. She didn't want to fight Bastila. There had been times, particularly on Manaan, she wanted to strangle the younger woman, but she didn't want to be doing this. Bastila, however, forced the issue with her rapid attacks. All three Jedi fought their former companion, and they beat her with relative ease.

"You are stronger than I would have thought possible, after what the Jedi Council did to you," Bastila admitted, breathing heavily. "Seems that Malak was wrong--the power of the dark side is not lost to you after all, Revan."

Kenna sighed. "Don't call me that. I'm not Revan anymore. I'm Kenna Tasman now." She was getting tired of telling people that, but resigned herself to it.

"You can deny what you are, Revan, but you are only fooling yourself," Bastila snorted. "I know the truth. I have seen the shadows inside your mind. Remember: I was there when you nearly died in the trap set by the Jedi Council. I used the Force to preserve your life, Revan. We are forever linked by my actions on that bridge!"

"That is how I know you will come back to the light," Kenna shot back, trying to remain calm.

"These are not your true feelings, Revan," Bastila scoffed. "You are speaking as a tool of the Jedi Council--as I once did. But now I see how the Jedi used us both. The Council tried to exploit the bond between us. They hoped I would draw out your memories to lead them to the Star Forge. We were slaves to their will--like all who follow the Jedi Code. But in our shared visions of the Star Maps I also felt the so called taint within you. I resisted it at first, but now I embrace the power of the dark side--your dark side!"

Feeling very nervous about where this was heading, Kenna asked cautiously, "What are you saying, Bastila?"

"You deserve to be the true Master of the Sith, not Malak. I see this now. Together we can destroy your old apprentice. Join with me and reclaim your lost identity!"

Kenna felt a small piece of her old self flare. The idea of such power was intoxicating. Before she could consider further, a memory pushed its way to the forefront, one from Kashyyyk, Carth telling her_, "Despite whatever part of Revan is inside you, the darkness that must surely be there, it isn't who you are...you don't have to be Revan, you can be so much more." _It killed any thought of even starting down that path again. She loved--needed-- Carth too much to even think about betraying him. "I'm not Revan anymore. I don't even remember those days."

"Your mind was too badly damaged to ever fully restore your memories, Revan," Bastila explained as if speaking to a slow-minded student. "But your power, your strength of will, the essence of who and what you are: these things still remain! Once, long ago, you defied the Jedi Council, freeing yourself from their control. You claimed your rightful title of Dark Lord of the Sith. Together we can defeat Malak and take back what is yours!"

_Sure, and then you can slit my throat while I'm sleeping and make it _yours_. No thank you._"Turn away from this path, Bastila," Kenna urged. "The dark side leads only to destruction."

"Bastila, it is not too late for you to be saved," Juhani chimed in. "The teachings of the Jedi can lead you from the dark side back into the light and a true understanding of the Force."

"You are beneath my contempt, Juhani," Bastila spat furiously at the Cathar. "When you felt the power of the dark side you fled to a cave like some cowering animal! You know nothing of the Force or its true potential." She turned her attention back to Kenna. "But you, Revan--the power of the dark side is yours to command! You can use it to destroy Malak! With my help you could rule over the entire galaxy!"

_I don't want the entire galaxy. Or even an entire planet. Just Carth. That's it_. The mere thought of him gave her the strength to reply, in no uncertain terms, "The Dark Lord Revan is dead. I am a servant of the light now!"

Bastila scowled and snarled, "You are a pathetic fool, Revan! Together we could have defeated Malak and ruled over an Empire, but I will be at Lord Malak's side instead! You will be crushed with the Republic and all the fools who bow down to the Jedi Council! No one can stand against the power of the Star Forge and the Sith Fleet!" She turned and ran to the small Sith ship sitting behind her, taking off and leaving the three Jedi behind before Kenna could say more.

Shaken as she was by the encounter, Kenna didn't have time to beat herself up for failing to save Bastila in time. The Republic Fleet had to be getting close, she needed to deactivate the disruptor field. And then they had to get to the Star Forge. She hoped the parts she'd found on one of the trips past the Temple fit the _Hawk'_s hyperdrive. Kenna crossed the roof to the computer that controlled the disruptor field and punched the buttons to deactivate both the disruptor field and the Temple's force field.

"Come on, let's go." They headed back out of the Temple, prepared for a fight--just in case. Nothing happened, and Kenna sighed with relief as they emerged from the Temple. She wanted to get back to the ship. Back to Carth, if she was honest.

* * *

Mission had kicked him out. Even from the other side of the ship, she'd been able to hear Carth pacing, and after about four hours of listening to it, she'd had enough. "Carth, knock it off!" He tried, but he was too worried to sit still for more than a couple seconds. Within five minutes of when he resumed pacing, Mission was blocking his path, hands on her hips. "Carth, go do that outside before I throw you out myself!" she ordered, still in a bad mood because Canderous had beaten her at pazaak--five more times.

"Alright, alright!" Despite the fact he sincerely doubted she could throw him out, even if she wanted to, Carth headed for the beach. No point in ticking her off any more than she already was. Mission joined him outside after only a few minutes, though. "Still mad at me?"

She shook her head. "No. Sorry for snapping at you like that."

"That's okay. I know what kids are like."

"You old--" Mission sighed. "Guess I deserved that, huh?"

"Yes, you did." Carth stopped pacing and grinned at her.

"Y'know that's not gonna make her come back any faster," Mission pointed out.

"I know." The feeling she was in danger kept growing, and it was driving him mad because he couldn't do a single thing about it. Except worry. And pace. So he did both, Mission watching him from her perch on the bottom edge of the boarding ramp. Carth was pretty sure she was worried about Kenna, too, even if she wouldn't say so.

Over the next hour, the rest of the crew made their way out of the ship, drawn by a feeling something was about to happen. Carth kept pacing.

"I see them!" Mission hollered as Kenna, Jolee, and Juhani rounded the last bend in the path down to the beach.

* * *

Tired as she was, Kenna ran the final twenty feet to the beach. _I did it. I stayed strong. I didn't give in to Revan, to the evil. I'm still Kenna and only Kenna. And I love him. He needs to know. _She reached the _Hawk_ and slowed to a stop.

"You're back! But where's Bastila?" Carth demanded. "Is she alive? What happened in that Temple?"

She had to tell him. He'd known Bastila longer than she had, so it would probably hurt him even more than it had hurt her, but he had to know. "Bastila has fallen to the dark side." The words came out in a rush; Kenna just wanted it said. "She fled to the Star Forge."_ I couldn't save her. Force forgive me, I was too late._

"The dark side? Bastila?" Words could not describe his confusion. She was one of the most hardcore loyal Jedi he'd ever met. The Council was always right, always, always, always. And now… he couldn't believe it. "No! No! How could this happen?"

"She was always in danger of being seduced by the dark side, Carth," Jolee explained, "Bastila was strong, but she was always impatient and headstrong. Malak preyed on her weaknesses. This planet is a tainted place, the Star Forge and the Temple have twisted the Force into an instrument of evil--just as Malak has twisted Bastila into a servant of the Sith."

"She can still be saved, can't she?" Kenna demanded, seeing her question mirrored in Carth's eyes as she asked.

Jolee sighed. "Malak has a strong hold on Bastila now--it will be difficult for her to break free of his influence. Especially considering her long association with you. Remember the bond that was forged between you when she rekindled the spark that was your life. Through that bond she touched your memories…and also the echo of the dark taint within you."

_I knew it was my fault!_

Carth saw Kenna shudder, saw the look in her eyes._ She thinks it's her fault. Only her fault. Sith's blood, Kenna, it is not just _your _fault. _"But there's still hope for her, right?" he asked, as much for Kenna's sake as his own. "I mean, Revan rejected the dark side so Bastila could too, right? We might still be able to save her."

_I know I've thought this a million times, but thank the Force for you. _Kenna could not express how grateful she was for that man at the moment. "We can try…and we will," she promised.

"I don't know what fate awaits us," Juhani commented, "but I sense Bastila still has a role to play in the events to come. I have no doubt she will be waiting for us on the Star Forge."

"No doubt," Jolee agreed. He turned to Kenna. "I must say that it is good to have you with us, my dear," he admitted. "For a minute there I thought you might decide… well, never mind what I thought."

Carth latched on the insinuation in the old Jedi's unfinished sentence. "Decide? Decide what?" he demanded.

"Bastila tried to tempt her to the dark side, to reclaim Revan's heritage," Juhani explained when Kenna wouldn't answer, finishing smugly, "She failed."

He would never in his lifetime be able to convey the intensity of the emotions that filled him when he heard those last two words._ She did it! I knew she would! _Joy, pride, relief…all three cascaded through him. "So…you did it?" He stepped closer to Kenna. "You turned against Revan once and for all? I knew she wasn't part of you anymore. I…I knew it!"

Kenna wanted to laugh out loud in sheer joy at the look on his face, sure her own was a mirror of the joy and relief. "I chose the light side," she confirmed. "It's true."

Carth stepped even closer, reaching out and brushing those rebellious strands of hair out of her eye yet again. "I told you that you would have to make a choice eventually, that you would be tested," he said tenderly. "I think that was it, I…I can feel it. And you did exactly what I'd hoped you would. It couldn't have been easy…I'm…I'm very proud of you."

He watched her blush._ Sith's blood, she's adorable when she's embarrassed_, he chuckled to himself.

"It wasn't easy," Kenna admitted, biting her bottom lip. "Bastila made a convincing case."

_And you expected her not to? _Carth smiled at her reassuringly. "I'm sure she did. I can't say that any of us wouldn't have been tempted." He needed to tell her. Right now. "I…" he swallowed hard, started over. "I love you. And I…I can't wait until all this is over with."

Now she _really_ wanted to scream with joy. But Kenna settled for the simpler route. "I love you, too," she confessed eagerly, the happiness painting a grin across her face that nothing could remove. Or so she thought, until Carth pulled her close and kissed her.

He'd been wanting to do this for so long he'd lost track. Carth felt Kenna's hands slide up behind his head even as his own pulled her closer, the kiss deepening. It felt so _right_. So, incredibly, perfectly right._ Why'd I wait so long to do this?_

She never wanted to stop. Ever, ever, ever. _Oh, Force…why'd I wait so long to do this? I had no idea what I was missing…_

"Hey! Sheesh…get a room, will ya?" Mission demanded, bringing both Carth and Kenna back to the beach, slightly sheepish but still grinning unapologetically._ Kids_, Kenna grumbled to herself. _Never understand…_ Half a dozen smart remarks about the Twi'lek's age filled her mind, but she didn't voice any of them, because Zaalbar was already chiding Mission. He informed her that it was a good omen that the two had found each other even in the midst of such turmoil, wasn't she pleased? "Oh, sure," Mission shrugged. "Even a good omen can get itself a room, don't ya think?"

"Well, I'm an old man," Jolee chuckled, "and I know you should take love when you find it. Good for you two, I say."

"Confidence is all well and good, Carth, but if we are going to catch up to Bastila we should leave soon, don't you think?" Juhani pointed out.

_She's right_. Hard as it was, Carth forced his mind off that kiss and onto the task at hand. "Okay--let's get going. The longer we wait the harder this is going to be."

* * *

Happy Valentine's Day fellow Carth lovers! :D 3


	13. Dark Whispers

Kenna followed the rest of the crew up the boarding ramp, fingers intertwined with Carth's. He smiled and gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go to make his way to the cockpit. Kenna headed for the engine room, palming the engine parts she'd pulled out of a wrecked ship. It had been a while since she needed to repair an engine, but she was pretty sure she still remembered how. She reached down inside the hyperdrive and yanked out the fried stabilizers, tossing them over her shoulder.

"Careful, young lady. You could hit somebody chucking engine parts around like that."

Kenna turned. 'What's up, Jolee?"

He watched her rifle through the salvaged parts for the stabilizers. "I was just wondering if you could satisfy an old man's damnable curiosity."

"Shoot." Kenna found the stabilizers and wriggled them in place.

"On the roof of the Temple, I felt the part of you that was intrigued by Bastila's offer. I felt the conflict rise up within you, and I felt when it was suddenly crushed."

"Is that why you almost said something out there?" Kenna asked, wiping her hands off against her robe.

Jolee nodded. "What made your internal debate end so quickly?"

Kenna couldn't stop her eyes from drifting in the direction of the cockpit.

"I see," Jolee chuckled. "It wasn't your duty to the Council or your loyalty to our mission."

"No." Kenna shook her head. "But you knew that already. You knew my reason was more…personal. You just needed confirmation."

"I wanted to see if you would admit it," Jolee corrected. "Any Jedi within a mile can sense your feelings for Carth. And his for you. I meant it when I said good for you two. Just be careful. Love is a two edged sword."

"I know, you stop thinking straight if someone you love is hurt or killed in battle. That was one of Bastila's chief arguments."

"No." Jolee shook his head. "If one of the dark Jedi on the Star Forge senses the feelings between you…" He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't need to.

Kenna's eyes widened. "I'll be putting him in danger. Maybe I should have him stay with the _Hawk._ I could take you and Juhani. Say I need as many Jedi as possible or some--"

"I'm not saying leave him behind," Jolee interrupted gently. "I'm just saying be careful. And shield your mind as best you can. Now, you might want to go inform our pilot that the ship's all ready to go." The old Jedi gave her a smile and headed back for the main hold.

Kenna chuckled to herself before making her way to the cockpit. "All set, Carth. The stabilizers fit perfectly."

"Sure you did it right?" Carth teased, ducking instinctively as Kenna swung half-heartedly at him.

"Of course I am." Kenna pretended to pout as she called up the galaxy map and plotted the course to the Star Forge. "Let's get this over with." She plunked herself down in the co-pilot's chair. "Ready when you are, Captain Onasi."

Carth rolled his eyes. "Lay off the 'Captain', will you, darlin'?" When Kenna didn't reply, he looked over at her. She was the most amazing shade of pinkish red he'd ever seen in his life, all the way to the tips of her ears. "I swear I will never understand women," he muttered as he fired up the _Hawk_'s engines. Morgana had done the same thing the first time he called her 'darling'. _Probably not a good idea to mention that to Kenna, however._

Kennaonly stayed in the seat until they had broken through the planet's atmosphere. She was too restless to sit still. So instead she came around the center console and stood behind the pilot's seat, resting one hand on Carth's shoulder. Until she saw the ugly bruise half hiding in his hair just below his temple.

"Where did that come from?" she demanded, her other hand moving instinctively to caress it. "Looks like it hurts."

Carth flinched when her fingers came in contact with the tender spot. "It _does._" He looked up at her with a grin. "That why I used to use blasters. If you don't get in close, there's less chance of getting hurt."

Kenna grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "What if I _want_ to get close?" she whispered in a tone bordering on seductive. The kiss she planted on the bruised and sensitive skin had a shudder running clear down his back.

"I'm not going to stop you, beautiful. However, you might want to wait until the _Hawk_ isn't on manual control. I can't promise to keep her airborne if you insist on distracting me like this," Carth pointed out, hearing the rough edge creeping into his voice.

Kenna was on the verge of making some smart comment when the she heard the whispers.

_**Revan…**_

_**You're coming back. **_

She tried to ignore them, but they persisted, a sibilant, evil chorus speaking softly to the part of her she wanted dead.

_**You can reclaim your power…**_

_**Kill Malak, rule the galaxy. Save those you care about.**_

_**You don't want him getting hurt. Do you…Master?**_

_No! Stop it! Get out of my head!_ Kenna begged. _I don't want power or glory. Not anymore!_

_**Then do it for him. If you don't control us, we'll kill him.**_

_You will _not_! I won't let you!_

_**You can't stop ussss… Unless you take command back from the pretender who calls himself Dark Lord of the Sith.**_

She needed to think about something, anything, else. Her fingers slid off Carth's shoulder and curled around the headrest of the pilot's seat. _Um, I need to talk about something. Do something to distract myself._ She seized the first thought that popped in her head, blurting out the question without stopping to think. "How did you meet Morgana?"

The question caught him totally off guard. Carth spun around to look at her. Her face had gone white. He'd never seen her looking so scared. "Kenna? What's wrong?" _Why did you ask about my wife?_

"I need to talk about something. That was the first thing that popped into my head. How did you meet Morgana?" Kenna persisted, grip tightening.

Something was really wrong. He could tell. So Carth decided to humor her. "By nearly getting myself killed."

_Well, I needed something to distract me._ "Okaaay. Explain, please?" Kenna requested, arching one eyebrow in confusion. _This should be interesting…_

Carth laughed. "I was in the Telosian militia before I joined the Republic. They had me fly escort for a lot of the military ships when the 'important people' from the Republic visited." He shrugged. " I got a little too close to the cruiser I was escorting one time, the proximity made something malfunction with my controls, and I…um, crashed."

"I think there's more to it then that. Were you showing off?" Kenna probed teasingly, still looking distracted and a little bit scared.

"No!" Carth tried to look hurt. "Well, alright, maybe a little. But just a little. And all the other guys in my unit did the same thing."

"And men say women are weird." Kenna smiled sweetly when he turned to glare at her. "Anyway, on with your story."

"If you're going to pick on me the whole way through, why should I?" He wasn't serious, but her reaction was worth it.

"Alright, alright." Kenna blushed and bit her lip. "I'll be quiet. I promise."

"Well, if you promise." He smiled and resumed his story. "So, I crashed. Really, really horribly bad. My C.O. told me some of the officers didn't even think it was worth checking to see if I was still alive. But wiser heads prevailed--thankfully, and they sent a team to pull me out. I don't even remember everything I broke, cut, impaled, etcetera, etcetera anymore. _That's _where a lot of those scars you were asking about came from. I think I spent more time in the base medbay than anywhere else for the next year."

"So how'd you mee--"

"I'm getting to it, be patient," Carth cut her off. "Besides, I thought you weren't going to interrupt."

Kenna gave an exasperated sigh and made a strangling motion behind his back. "Sorry, _Captain._ Please continue."

"Morgana was a nurse. Well, nurse in training at that point. She ended up working late night shift a lot, and I usually couldn't sleep. I don't know about the rest of the galaxy, but whatever the Telos militia used for painkillers made the thought of sleep wishful thinking. So she'd come by and we'd talk between her rounds. It was about a year, I think, after I got out that I finally worked up the courage to ask her out. Coordinating our schedules was just about the hardest thing in the universe, especially after she finished training and was an honest to goodness nurse and I got promoted."

"Hey, guys?" Mission stuck her head in the cockpit. "There's a message comin' in. If one of you wants to answer it." She grinned and disappeared.

"I'll handle it." Carth stood. "Think you can keep an eye on things up here?"

"And I can do it without crashing," Kenna teased as she slid back into the co-pilot's chair.

"_That_ was a low blow," he complained. "I think you owe me a kiss for that."

Kenna pretended to debate for a second. "Oh, alright, if you insist."

"I most definitely do." Carth leaned down and kissed her.

She cupped one hand behind his head and pulled him in closer. "Mmmm."

"Kenna, I need to go." Carth pulled back reluctantly, resting his forehead against hers. "Much as I enjoyed that, we're still on a mission."

Kenna sighed. "Oh, alright." She pulled him close to steal one more kiss before letting go. "Go."

Carth headed out to the main hold and the holoprojector. The signature of the incoming message identified it as coming from the Republic.

The image of a uniformed woman took shape when he punched the buttons to bring in the signal. "This is Admiral Forn Dodonna to the _Ebon Hawk_, do you read me?"

Carth knew her. She'd been in command of his unit during the Mandalorian Wars. "Admiral Dodonna, this is Carth Onasi. We are receiving your transmission." _Amazing how easy it is to return to protocol._

Dodonna smiled. "Carth, I'm glad to see you're still alive. We've begun our assault on the Star Forge, but we're taking heaving heavy losses. How did the Sith ever manage to build something of this scope?"

"The Star Forge wasn't constructed by the Sith, Admiral," Carth informed her, "We don't have time for me to fully explain it, but that space station is far older than you can imagine."

The Admiral frowned in concern. "Maybe we should pull back and retreat. I don't know if we have the firepower to go up against this alien technology."

Carth shook his head. "You can't do that, Admiral. The Star Forge is a factory of immense power. It's been churning out capital ships, snub fighters, and assault droids that have powered the Sith war effort. You _have_ to destroy the Star Forge now, or you'll be fighting an unending wave of reinforcements."

Dodonna sighed. "Then I guess we have no choice. But it isn't going to be easy. I can't even get our capital ship into position to start bombing the Star Forge. The Sith Fleet is too well organized. It's like they can guess our every move and counter our every strategy."

Carth sighed. _I know why._ "It's because of Bastila, Admiral," he informed her reluctantly. "She turned to the dark side and became Malak's apprentice. We suspect she's somewhere on that space station right now, using her Battle Meditation against you and your fleet."

Dodonna turned to someone outside the hologram and nodded, stepping to the side so she could be joined by a short figure. "This is Master Vandar. A number of Jedi Knights have joined our fleet under his command," the Admiral explained.

"If Bastila is using her power to augment the Sith then Malak's fleet is invincible," Master Vandar said solemnly. "Our only hope is to somehow stop Bastila from using her Battle Meditation."

"How can we do that if she's on the space station?" Dodonna asked.

"I will send a squadron of Jedi Knights to the Star Forge to find Bastila. Their small ships will be able to fly through the Sith blockade and dock on the space station. If they can find Bastila, they may be able to attract her attention from the battle overhead. That should allow you to move your capital ships into position for a final assault on the Star Forge itself," Vandar explained.

Dodonna turned back to Carth. "I hate to ask you this after all you've done, Carth, but the Jedi may need all the help they can get…"

"Don't worry, Admiral," Carth assured her, "The _Ebon Hawk_ and her crew are going to see this through to the end!" _Kenna'll need all the help she can get…_

"And may the Force be with us all," Vandar finished before Dodonna closed the connection.

Kenna gave her full attention to the _Hawk_'s controls. Despite her teasing, she knew Carth was ten times better than she was at flying the ship. Besides that, if she concentrated on flying, the voices couldn't come back.

_**We never left.**_

Kenna shuddered. "No. I'm not giving in to you." She shook her head. "Not this time."

_**We think you will.**_

_**You don't want anything to happen to him...**_

_**Do you?**_ There was a sadistic undertone of delight in the inaudible whisper echoing around her brain. Whatever that was, it was enjoying this. Immensely.

_I wonder if that's the Star Forge. It is an instrument of pure evil, embodiment of the dark side and all that._ Kenna clenched her teeth. _I must have listened to it last time. Revan must have indulged the whispers. Not this time. Kenna won't._

The second she made the mental promise to herself, the voices increased, until it was a clamor instead of mere whispers. She gritted her teeth even harder, forcing her attention to the controls in a desperate attempt to block them out. It wasn't working. The voices just got louder, more demanding. "No…"

Carth headed back for the cockpit to tell Kenna what was going on and see if she wanted him to take back over the controls. He trusted her, but he knew she was perfectly happy to leave flying the _Hawk_ to him. And she'd seemed distracted when he left--despite how well she'd hidden it, he could tell--which concerned him. "How're we doin', beautiful?" There was no answer. "Kenna?" She still didn't answer. Worried and confused as to what could possibly have happened, he hurried the last couple feet.

Kenna was still sitting in the co-pilot's chair, but she wasn't paying attention to the controls. One hand was braced against the console, the other clutching her forehead. Her eyes were clenched shut, and just as Carth reached her she let out a groan that was closer to a whimper. "No…"

"Kenna, what's wrong?" He grabbed her shoulder, causing her to whirl around.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" she demanded, eyes wild with…terror, which disappeared a split second later. "Sorry for snapping." The apology was mumbled as she stared at her feet.

"You're forgiven." Carth reached over her shoulder and punched on the autopilot before pulling her to her feet. "C'mere." Kenna didn't resist as he pulled her close. "What was that all about?"

She was silent.

"I'm not letting go until you tell me, beautiful."

"Fine by me," she mumbled into his chest.

"Please tell me, Kenna."

She looked up at him. "I…I can't."

He could hear the fear again in her voice, even if it wasn't the wild terror of a few seconds ago. "Yes, you can. Let me in, let me help. You don't have to carry everything alone."

"_This_ I do," Kenna replied stubbornly, not wanting to tell him about the voices, or especially what they had said.

"Please."

She sighed. "Carth…" He tilted her chin up and kissed her. "I hate it when you do that," she muttered when she pulled back, eyes narrowing.

"What?" he smiled.

"Make me feel like agreeing to anything." Kenna was silent for a second. "I could hear…voices," she finally admitted. "I…I think they came from the Star Forge. They were tempting me, same as Bastila did. Trying to get me to reclaim the title of Dark Lord of the Sith." They both winced as she said the words. "I keep trying to ignore them, but they won't go away." She rested her chin against his chest, looking up at him as she forced herself to say the words. "They…threatened, hinted at the possible--likely--consequences if I don't listen to them."

"Consequences…like what?" Carth asked suspiciously._ I think I know. Only one or two things would cause her to fall apart like this._

"Like…people I care about getting hurt or killed unless I claim 'my title' and control the dark side," Kenna replied evasively.

"People you care about?" He was even more sure who had been threatened now. "Like who?"

_Oh, Force. Don't make me say it. I'm trying to forget it happened._ Kenna leaned against him, biting her lip. "You," she finally whispered, more to the floor than to him. "I don't want to lose you. Ever."

"I don't want to lose you either, Kenna, but we've been in danger ever since Taris. Why is it suddenly getting to you? I've never seen you terrified until five seconds ago."

"Because, unlike the Vulkars, or Saul, or Calo, they could… actually carry through on their threats." Kenna pulled back "We're getting close," she pointed out, nodding toward the window. "I think you should take her in. I don't trust myself right now." She took a step toward the passage to the main hold. Carth spun her around and deposited her back in the co-pilot's chair.

"_I _trust you," he commented. "And I'm going to need help for this." He tapped a flashing screen. "Keep an eye on those snub fighters for me." He kissed the top of her head. "Please."

"Well…okay, fine," Kenna relented, not trying to escape. Carth took the _Hawk_ in closer to the space station, keeping a wary eye on the laser cannons. As they got closer, dodging the laser bolts became more and more difficult. Some of the Sith were too concentrated on their target, and were blown into space dust by the Star Forge's cannons. Carth and Kenna shared an ironic smile as they watched the Sith get destroyed by their own weapon. Carth landed the _Hawk_ in the closest hanger bay.

"Let's go." He grabbed his swords.


	14. Business Before Pleasure

Kenna fought a brief internal argument, Jolee's warning echoing hollowly in her mind. _Should I let him come? _On the one hand, she would die herself--or want to--if she got Carth killed. On the other, when they fought together it was almost like they could read each other's minds and work in perfect rhythm--usually. Knowing this place would be crawling with Dark Jedi, Kenna was tempted to take Jolee and Juhani just to have more Jedi support.

"Kenna? You coming?" Carth pulled her to her feet. "We need to get moving."

"Sorry." She bit her lip. "Carth, I think--" She stopped herself before finishing the sentence. It would be torture of the highest level to leave him now. Not to mention she wanted him to come. He could handle himself.

"What?" He looked at her expectantly.

Kenna shook her head. "We should take Jolee."

"Why not Juhani?" That had been her usual choice ever since Dantooine; Carth and Juhani.

"She's a Guardian, like me. Jolee's a Consular, he's more in control of the Force. Considering the probable number of Dark Jedi in there, I want someone very proficient with the Force along."

"You're not taking both of them?" Carth couldn't hide the surprise in his voice. He'd been positive she would take the two Jedi and leave him behind.

"No." Kenna smiled. "I want you to come. When we fight together, I don't know, it just seems to…work. And I've noticed you resisting some of the mind-affecting things even better than Juhani and I do."

"I can be very stubborn when I want to be," Carth chuckled.

"So I've noticed," Kenna retorted dryly, kissing him on the cheek. "Let's go, flyboy."

"As you wish, beautiful."

They headed for the boarding ramp, Kenna beckoning Jolee to join them as they passed. Upon exiting the _Hawk_, they almost ran into the small group of Jedi Vandar had sent in.

One greeted them, relief evident on her face. "You made it! Several Jedi have already gone into the Star Forge. We have to strike while we still have the element of surprise! If we don't stop Bastila from using her Battle Meditation the entire Republic Fleet will be wiped out! Come on, before they…" she trailed off as one of the doors to the Forge whined open and four Dark Jedi ran out. "Damn, so much for catching them unprepared!" the Jedi cursed. "We'll deal with these Sith--you get into the Star Forge and find Bastila! Hurry!" However, Kenna wasn't about to let them fight alone. She, Carth, and Jolee helped kill the attacking Sith before venturing beyond the landing bay. Kenna didn't even bother clipping her lightsaber to her belt; she knew she'd be using it almost constantly throughout the rest of the mission.

They had hardly gone ten feet down the hallway when they were attacked by a small group of troopers and a couple dark Jedi. Carth didn't even really think, he just flew at them. The trooper he had intended to attack succumbed to Jolee's Force lightning before Carth even reached him, so he went after one of the dark Jedi instead. Normally it would be suicide for someone who wasn't a Force-user to attack someone who was, but since both the dark Jedi were attacking Kenna, his target was distracted. A fact of which Carth took full advantage, burying Bacca's blade deep in the man's back. He blocked a wild swing from one of the troopers with the Echani foil, holding off the attacker's blade long enough to pull Bacca's blade free and ram it backwards, the blade skewering the trooper's leg. He followed that up with a slash from the Echani foil that finished off the trooper.

Kenna blocked an attack from the remaining dark Jedi, spinning so the block turned into an attack that nearly sliced her opponent in half. She stepped over him as he fell, cutting down a trooper who was attempting to come at Carth from the back. They both turned to help Jolee, but the old man had handled the remaining three troopers quite well. The last of them fell, still twitching from the Force Lightning, just as Kenna and Carth turned_. I think we can do this, _Kenna grinned to herself as she healed the minor injuries she and Jolee had sustained.

An half-hour later, she was rethinking that conclusion. The near-constant stream of enemies had slowly worn them down, small groups that should have been relatively easy to defeat leading to longer battles as more troops or Jedi or droids appeared just when she was beginning to breathe easier. The last group had nearly done them in. Carth and Jolee had both been knocked unconscious, and she'd been on the verge of dying when a last-gasp attempt to Stasis the attacking Sith actually trapped him. She'd jammed a medpac against her leg and laid into him with every ounce of strength she had left. He'd gone down just as the Stasis wore off. Kenna sighed in relief and dropped to her knees, gasping for breath._ Oh, Force. I didn't think this would be so hard_. She waited a couple minutes to regain her strength, then pulled off a Force heal.

Carth struggled to his feet. He winced and massaged his bruised shoulder. Durasteel was not forgiving, especially when you rammed into an edge. "Kenna, you okay?"

She nodded. "I think so. I'm just glad you are."

"What does that make, three that I owe you?" he teased, offering her a hand up.

"Four," she corrected, accepting the help. "That first group out in the hallway, one tried to get you from the back. I took care of 'im."

"Ah. Come here." He pulled her close and kissed her.

Kenna allowed herself to indulge for a couple seconds before reluctantly pulling away. "Business before pleasure, unfortunately," she whispered. "Sorry, flyboy."

Carth sighed. "No, you're right. Duty calls." He nodded toward the next door. "After you. You are the leader, after all."

"Let me guess, 'Ladies first'?"

"No, you're just a much better fighter than I am," Carth chuckled. "If there's half a dozen angry dark Jedi on the other side, you can handle them better than me."

"Better than I," Kenna corrected automatically, grinning roguishly at him.

Carth rolled his eyes. "If you say so. Let's get the 'business' part over with so we can move on to the 'pleasure'. Hm?"

"I like the way you think." Kenna grinned even wider and pressed the control button to open the door. Two troopers and a droid stood five feet or so down the walkway, caught so off-guard one grenade was all one trooper managed before all three were dispatched. Kenna grumbled to herself as she shook off the dizzying effects of the concussion grenade. She was the only one who caught any of the blast, and barely enough to set her ears ringing, but it was still annoying. She had barely gotten the world to hold still when a group of dark Jedi poured through one of the other doors. Kenna sighed._ Why, why, why? Is ten seconds too much to ask? _She spun her lightsaber around her hand as she met one of the attacking dark Jedi, his red blade stopping her blue one from doing any damage. Kenna cursed under her breath, parried his reciprocating attack, and swung at him again, raining a flurry of blows against his lightsaber. Finally, he wavered enough he left her an opening. She took it, her lightsaber blurring as she sliced off first his arm and then his head. Her opponent vanquished, she turned her attention to her companions. Jolee was handling himself. Carth, however, was in trouble.

He couldn't breathe. _Damn that frackin' Sith!_ Black started creeping in the edges of his vision, spots freckling into existence. _No! Kenna needs you. You aren't allowed to give up. Just hang on. _He couldn't help it. He couldn't breathe.

Kenna felt her blood boil. In sheer, furious desperation, she flung out a wave of the Force, feeling her fury amplify it to more than it would normally have been. Both the remaining dark Jedi went flying. Jolee made short work of the one that actually got back up. Kenna was more worried about Carth.

He knelt on the grating of the walkway, coughing and gasping for breath. _That was too close, _he thought to himself as the dark spots faded from his vision. He leaned forward, bracing one hand against the ground as the other instinctively rubbed his throat.

"Carth?" The gentle hand on his back was accompanied by the now familiar touch of a Force heal. "You going to be okay?"

Carth nodded, not trusting his voice yet. He saw Kenna sigh in relief, her eyes sliding closed for a moment. Then she leaned in and kissed him. Both of them ignored the awkward angle, the impending danger, and Jolee's presence for a few blissful seconds. "What happened to business before pleasure?" Carth whispered, catching Kenna's wince at the extra rasp in his voice. "Kenna, I'm fine, I promise. Thank you."

She stood. "You know what they say about all work and no play," she smirked sweetly. "And that's five you owe me."

Carth couldn't help laughing as he stood_. I'm gonna owe her forever_. They continued on. When they hadn't encountered any enemies for almost five minutes, Carth started to get nervous. He knew Kenna was too. They had been running into something every few seconds. The sudden absence of dark Jedi, troopers, and droids was suspect and eerie. "I don't like this."

"I don't either," Kenna agreed. "Where did they all go?" She punched the controls for the door barring their path. Four dark Jedi, three troopers, and two droids waited on the other side._ Forget I asked_. She flung herself at the dark Jedi, followed a chain of Force lightning with an attempt at Stasis. She only caught one of them. _Better than nothing_. She called on the Force to heal, just in case. Jolee looked like he was having a hard time against the droids, and Kenna knew if any one of them went down the other two were pretty much doomed. Two of dark Jedi who resisted the Stasis went down quickly enough, and just in time, as the Stasis wore off of the third one. He returned her treatment, trapping her in Stasis. _Of all the--! _Kenna fumed as she stood frozen. Not being able to do anything was frustrating beyond belief.

Carth noticed her predicament and decided to ignore the troopers for a minute to help her. The dark Jedi saw him coming and decided he presented more of a threat than Kenna did. Carth blocked the swings of the twin red lightsabers, one just barely singeing his shoulder guard. One of the dark Jedi snarled in rage and raised one hand. Carth felt the tentacles of terror creeping in his mind but resisted the attempt. It still served a purpose; distracting him long enough that one of the troopers managed to get off a lucky shot just as Carth finished off the two dark Jedi.

Kenna had never felt so powerless in her life. The Stasis lasted a maddeningly long time, preventing her from doing more then watch as the trooper lined up his shot. She couldn't even do something to warn Carth._ No, no, no! Behind you, look behind you! _she begged, wondering if he would somehow get the message. He didn't. _Carth! _Kenna wanted to scream in combined rage and anguish as she watched helplessly. The Stasis wore off just as the laser bolt slammed into Carth's back and he went down. Kenna didn't even think, her reaction--ramming one fist into the trooper's face--was pure rage. A response that came to mind far, far too easily. Unfortunately, the dark Jedi had inflicted more damage than Kenna realized, leaving her weaker against the trooper's retaliation._ I need to heal! _There were still two troopers left, and she couldn't expect Jolee to handle both of them. Her Force depleted, she reached for a medpac, but the vibroblade wielded by the trooper she faced carved into her side before her fumbling fingers found one._ I'm dead… _Kenna thought airily as she collapsed, the world going black.


	15. Whatever the Cost

_Revan stared out of the control room, looking over the Star Forge with pride. She had done it. It was hers._

_"What now, Master?" Malak's voice grated on the last word. He still grudged her the victory with which she had won the title Dark Lord. _

_"Now we have to make it strong. Whatever the cost. It must be the strongest thing in existence, in the galaxy, or even beyond the Outer Rim. Incapable of defeat." Revan looked back at her apprentice, her yellowing eyes seeming to stare right through him. "Go assemble the troops."_

_"Yes, Master." The metallic replacement jaw disguised any emotion that may have been in his voice. Revan knew she would have to watch him. He was bigger and stronger than her. If she wasn't wary, wasn't ready, he might catch her off guard. She could still beat him, she was sure, but she really didn't want to have to go through the hassle of finding a new apprentice._

* * *

"Kenna. Kenna!" Someone was shaking her. "Kenna, dammit, come on!" _That's Carth. But I thought he got killed. I thought I got killed. _The floor was uncomfortable. She pried her eyes open and tried to sit up. _Oh, Force, bad idea! _She hissed in pain. "Easy." A hand rested on her shoulder as she leaned forward, world spinning in a pool of agony. Finally things settled and she looked over at Carth.

"You look awful," she croaked. He did. His face was deathly pale, which made the huge bruise on his forehead stand out even more vividly.

"I'm fine. You okay?" Kenna nodded. "Don't ever scare me like that again, beautiful, or I'll kill you myself," he whispered, trying to joke, but she could see the fear in his eyes.

"Deal." Kenna leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "What happened? I thought you were, um, dead. I thought I was dead."

"Well, for one thing, we're back to me only owing you four." He grinned. "Jolee finished off the couple that were left after you were knocked unconscious."

"Death field," was all Jolee said when Kenna shot him a questioning look. They both knew combat was not a Consular's strong suit.

"Ah. I see. I thought you didn't like to use that."

"I don't. It's not like those damn Sith gave me much choice," the old Jedi pointed out.

"True. Thank you, Jolee." Kenna shifted position, climbing awkwardly to her feet. She rested one hand on Carth's shoulder to steady herself when the world started spinning again.

He wrapped one arm around her waist. "Are you sure you're okay?"

Kenna smiled wryly. "Do I have a choice? I have to beat Malak."

"Malak can wait. You can't beat him if you can barely stand."

"Thank you, Captain Paranoid," Kenna teased, knowing he was right. "Maybe a few minutes won't hurt."

She was so stubborn. Carth smiled. _What is it with me and falling in love with stubborn women? _"That's more like it, beautiful." He made her wait five more minutes before they continued on, ignoring the sighs of impatience and death glares she aimed in his direction.

She would never admit it, but she had needed the break, short as it was. However, with the fate of the Republic, not to mention the galaxy, hanging in the balance, Kenna refused to wait any longer. "We need to get going." She pushed away from the wall that had been supporting her weight and offered Carth a hand up. He took it. She knew he probably thought she should rest longer, but there wasn't time. "C'mon, handsome," she teased, heading towards the door.

"Right behind you, beautiful." Hoping they were nearing the heart of the space station, Kenna slapped the control button. A small group of dark Jedi waited at the bottom of the sloping ramp down.

"There's only three of them," Jolee muttered suspiciously. Kenna agreed with the caution in his tone. The entire Sith force had to know they were here. For there to only be three dark Jedi waiting for them made her think there were more waiting to come running after Kenna's party was already engaged in combat. But they didn't really have any choice, they had to go forward.

"Let's get it over with," she sighed, activating her lightsaber and charging at the trio at the base of the ramp. One of the Dark Jedi smirked and made some comment about how Malak would reward them for killing Revan as she turned to meet Kenna's charge._ Well, you won't be getting any reward_, Kenna thought as she cut her down without much trouble. The other two were a little tougher. One wouldn't stop calling up Force waves, and the other seemed to have a sadistic love of draining life. Kenna lost track of the number of times she and Jolee used Death field to simultaneously heal some of their injuries and weaken their opponents. Finally, the dark Jedi took a break from Force wave, and instead attempted Stasis field. He managed to catch Jolee and Kenna, but Carth somehow managed to resist. _Not again! _Kenna grumbled to herself as she was forced to watch the rest of the fight.

Carth took advantage of the way the dark Jedi's attack left him open and rammed one of his swords into the man's side. As the body slid to the floor, he was already in combat with the other dark Jedi. The man was good, and, having hung back for most of the fight, was less worn out than Carth. However, the one area where Carth had him beat was motivation. Knowing the woman he loved--as well as the whole galaxy--needed him to survive beat hollow the fear instilled in Malak's followers. He had to win. The stubborn resolve to not let Kenna down, whatever it took, drove him to fight more ferociously than the dark Jedi expected from someone so obviously not a Force user. His arrogance was his undoing, as his surprise at Carth's skill slowed his reaction time just enough to allow the Echani foil to take off his head.

The Stasis had worn off at about halfway through Carth's fight with the second dark Jedi, but Kenna didn't interfere. She knew Carth could handle one measly dark Jedi, a belief that was confirmed when he sliced the man's head off a couple seconds later. "I knew there was a reason I brought you along."

He shot her that adorable crooked grin she loved. "Now we're down to three in your favor."

"Two," she corrected. "There were two of them, you took care of both of them, so we're down to two you owe me."

"Whatever you say." He wrapped one arm around her neck, pulled her close, and kissed the top of her head.

Kenna giggled before pulling away. _Amazing how easily he can make me go from being "the Savior of the Galaxy" or whatever to a giggling pile of mush. That's love for you, I guess. _"Come on, we need to find Bastila." She wasn't relishing the encounter. She knew she would at least have to fight her friend, maybe even kill her._ But no one is beyond redemption. Not even Revan. Certainly not Bastila. Maybe I can convince her to come back to the light. I have to try. Whatever the cost. _

Carth could tell Kenna was contemplating what to do. He knew she didn't want to fight or kill Bastila. Despite the Padawan's preachy-to-the-point-of-annoying attitude, everyone on the _Hawk_ knew she lectured Kenna so much because she was concerned, and the two had had a tenuous friendship before she sacrificed herself to allow them to escape. He wasn't exactly happy about the idea of encountering her again, either, if he was honest. But it was necessary, so he followed Kenna up the ramp to the door behind where the Dark Jedi had been waiting.

Kenna pushed the button that opened the door, feeling through the Force that a powerful enemy waited on the other side. The dark side was strong ahead. The door hissed open. The room was dominated by a holographic map of the space battle raging outside. And underneath stood the source of the darkness Kenna had sensed. Bastila, her back facing them as she used her Battle Meditation to aid the Sith. She whirled at the sound of the door opening, her face twisting with a mix of fury and delight. One hand shot out, Stasis freezing Carth and Jolee where they stood before the door hissed closed again and sealed, separating Kenna from them.

"Revan--I knew you'd come for me," Bastila sneered, slipping her lightsaber free of her belt.

"I'll never give up on you, Bastila. I know you can still be saved," Kenna replied as she pulled her own 'saber free, not at all surprised when the younger woman scoffed.

"You are wasting your time. I have seen the Jedi for what they are: weak and afraid," Bastila declared imperiously. "The Sith are the Masters of the Force. You have forgotten that lesson, Revan. Now you must pay the price. Here on the Star Forge the power of the dark side is at its strongest. This time you will not defeat me!" She attacked.

Kenna blocked her swing, separating her emotions from the fight as everything in her rebelled at the idea. Despite Bastila's continued use of Force storm in addition to her lightsaber attacks, Kenna still wore her down rather quickly. "I see now why Malak followed you," Bastila panted. "Even though you are only a shell of your former self, you are still a formidable opponent. I can't even imagine the power you must have wielded when you were the Dark Lord. You were a fool to give it all up and follow the light side."

Kenna shook her head. "You've been consumed by the dark side, Bastila. Can't you see it's destroying you?"

"The dark side has made me stronger than I ever was before!" Bastila retorted. "I have a greater command of the Force than all but the most powerful Jedi Masters. As Malak teaches me the greatest secrets of the Sith, I will unlock more of my potential. Eventually there will be no limit to what I can accomplish with the Force."

"Malak will never let you become that powerful. He will kill you first," Kenna said, stalling while she desperately scrambled to form a convincing argument in her head.

Bastila shook her head in disgust. "Have you forgotten the ways of the Sith already, Revan? Eventually I will challenge my Master. If I am worthy, he will die by my hand and I will become the new Sith Master. Then I will take on my own apprentice and the cycle will begin again. This is the way of the Sith. It is how we assure our leaders are always the strongest and most worthy."

_And to think I once considered that a sound plan_. "You're dooming yourself to an endless cycle of death and betrayal."

"No, Revan. It is you who are doomed!" Bastila spat contemptuously as she attacked again. Again Kenna met her with detached indifference. Trying not to think of the fact she might soon have to kill her friend. _She's so far gone. Can I save her? I have to try. No one is beyond redemption, I'm proof of that_. She carefully held back, using only enough of her Force and strength to wear Bastila down, weakening her without killing her. "You are growing weary, I can sense it!" Bastila crowed breathlessly, backing down, at least momentarily. "Your strength falters, the light side is failing you while the power of the Star Forge reenergizes me! Soon this will all be over!"

Kenna smirked. "I have not faltered, Bastila. You have been misled by the dark side."

Almost as if sensing the strength still welling up in her opponent, Bastila fell back on the Sith mantra. "The dark side will always triumph over the light! Malak has assured me of victory! You can't defeat me here on the Star Forge!" she hollered, desperation underlying her voice, "YOU CAN'T!" She attacked again. Kenna took a moment to heal--better safe than sorry--before counter-attacking. This time, driven by desperation, Bastila actually proved to be slightly challenging. Kenna still managed to beat her. "No, this is not possible!" Bastila exclaimed in disbelief, sounding like she was reciting a well-learned lesson. "You have rejected the dark side, you are a weak and pathetic servant of the light! How can you still stand against me? Why can't I defeat you?" she demanded in frustration.

"Now you see the dark side is not stronger than the light," Kenna said, struggling to keep the smirk off her face and the smugness out of her voice.

Bastila nodded, conceding the point. "Yes, I see you speak the truth. I am no match for you. Please, for the sake of what we once shared, do not make me suffer," she pleaded. "End my life quickly. There's no other way."

Kenna's heart broke for her friend. "There's no need for me to kill you, Bastila," she said gently, deactivating her lightsaber and letting the hilt hang loosely in her hand.

"What other choice do you have?" Bastila asked miserably. "I have fallen to the dark side, I am the apprentice of the Dark Lord himself. You cannot let me live."

"You can reject the dark side, Bastila. Return to the light," Kenna urged, desperately hoping it wasn't too late_. I don't want to have to kill a friend_.

"No, I'm not strong enough," Bastila replied sadly. "There is too much anger inside me now. Too much hatred and fear. I can no longer find peace in the Force." There was such regret in her tone that Kenna was more determined than ever to redeem her. Whatever the cost.

"Turn to the Jedi Code, Bastila," she encouraged. "It can help."

"I doubt mere words can help me now," Bastila sighed, "but to appease you I will recite them: 'There is no emotion; there is peace. There is no ignorance; there is knowledge. There is no passion; there is serenity. There is no chaos; there is harmony'…" She paused. "Strange, but even now I find comfort in these words. I…suppose old habits die hard." She finished, "'There is no death; there is the Force.' Thank you, Revan. I am ready to face my fate now." She still bore the look of someone doomed to die, but there was peace on her face.

Kenna wasn't as ready to give up on her. "Look into your heart, and you will find the light."

"I…I know a flicker of the light still burns within me," Bastila stammered. "Malak felt it too. He knew it could only be extinguished if I killed you. But what good is a single flicker of light against the sea of darkness I am drowning in?" she asked hopelessly. "I can never atone for my betrayal."

"Help us defeat the Sith, Bastila. This will atone for what you have done." Kenna felt the flicker of hope flare in her friend as she spoke.

"Yes," Bastila said slowly. "I…could join you in your battle against the Dark Lord. That alone would not make up for all I have done, yet…it would be a step in the right direction. But how would you be able to trust me? How do you know I wouldn't turn on you when you faced Darth Malak? How do you know the dark side wouldn't make me betray you again?"

They were valid concerns. "I trust you enough to leave myself open to your attack, Bastila," Kenna pointed out, briefly raising her deactivated lightsaber in one hand as proof.

"You play a dangerous game," Bastila said softly. "Are you certain you wish to take this risk? I could end your life and gain Malak's favor with a single stroke of my lightsaber."

_Whatever the cost_, Kenna reminded herself as she continued her walk down the knife's edge. "You won't, Bastila," she replied with certainty. "I know you still serve the light side."

"You are brave indeed…and some would say foolish. But you are also right. The dark side has not wholly consumed me. I cannot raise my blade against you. I should stay here though. If we face Malak I am afraid his dark presence will overwhelm me. It would not be wise to expose myself to such temptation."

Kenna had to admit she was right. "You could stay here and use your Battle Meditation to aid the Republic fleet," she suggested.

Bastila nodded. "Yes, that would be for the best," she agreed. "You don't need me to defeat Malak anyway. Now I understand that a true Jedi is a match for any Sith. Even the Dark Lord himself. I will stay here in the chamber and use my Battle Meditation to aid the Republic fleet. I am their only hope of destroying the Star Forge and ending the Sith menace. You must go and face Malak, but you have to hurry," she said urgently. "Once I turn the battle in the Republic's favor we won't have much time to escape the Star Forge before it is destroyed. Good luck…and may the Force be with you."

Relieved the cost had been worth it, Kenna smiled at Bastila, then headed for the control center of the Star Forge. _May the Force be with you, too. Friend._

* * *

As soon as the Stasis wore off, Carth went at the door, cursing under his breath when the controls didn't respond. Bastila had done something to them. He could hear the distinctive sizzle of lightsabers clashing in a hotly contested fight on the other side. He considered kicking the door, but knew all he would get out of that would be a sore foot. His armor wasn't that good. He couldn't pick the lock, couldn't bash down the door. He couldn't help Kenna. "Damn it!" The curse in no way summed up all his frustration, but he needed to vent somehow.

"We can't help her anymore. She has to face Malak alone." Jolee stood back. "You knew she would have to do it alone. Save the galaxy whatever it costs her."

"Even her life?" Carth demanded, spinning angrily to face the old man.

"Yes. There is only one thing I know for a fact she won't sacrifice. You. That's why we're not supposed to fall in love. It complicates the whole 'being willing to sacrifice yourself' thing immensely." Jolee placed a restraining hand on Carth's arm as he prepared to go at the door again. "Let her go. We should get back to the ship and get everyone ready to leave. _When_ Kenna wins we need to be ready to make tracks."

"You're right," Carth admitted with extreme reluctance, casting one last despairing glance at the sealed door. The two headed back for the ship. Not having to fight their way through a forest of Sith minions made it considerably easier. Halfway back to the _Hawk_, Jolee stopped dead in his tracks, raising one hand to cut off Carth's wondering as to what was going on.

A slow smile spread across his face a few seconds later. "Come on, we need to hurry."

"What was that all about?" Carth demanded, walking faster to match the old Jedi's pace.

"She redeemed Bastila." Jolee's grin grew even wider. "I don't know how she did it, but Kenna got Bastila to return to the light. Which means she'll be using her Battle Meditation to aid the Republic, which means we need to be ready to take off the second Kenna sets foot on the _Ebon Hawk_."

"I'll say," Carth muttered as they hurried through the deserted halls of the space station.


	16. Still Standing

Kenna paused for a moment before crossing the rectangular room beyond the door she'd taken from the map room. She wasn't afraid of Malak. She could beat him. That wasn't her being foolish and overconfident, that was fact. She could have killed him on the _Leviathan_ if not for that pesky Stasis he'd pulled. She wanted to make sure she was drawing only from the light side while facing him, not an easy task in here. The Star Forge seemed to play with her mind, make it easier to give into the anger. Especially when Carth was in danger or got hurt. She ignored the whispers in her mind and pressed on. The door at the other end slid open as she reached it. Malak stood behind it, two Jedi Knights behind him writhing in a Force chokehold. When he saw Kenna, the Dark Lord finished them off, one by tightening the chokehold until he died, the other with Force lightning.

"I tire of these games, Revan," her old apprentice, and one-time friend, growled as he faced her. "You have been a thorn in my side from the moment I seized the mantle of Dark Lord from your feeble grasp! You made a mistake coming here, Revan. The Star Forge fuels my command of the dark side. You are no match for me here. And this time you will not escape!"

"It is you who can't escape, Malak," Kenna shot back. "Surrender and the Jedi might show you mercy." She didn't expect him to take her up on the offer, but she made it anyway.

"You are an insignificant speck beneath my notice," Malak said dismissively."I have surpassed you in every way and accomplished what you never could," he gloated. "I have unleashed the full potential of this Rakatan factory! You had no idea of the power within this place! Its very walls are alive with dark side energies! And now, my old master, I will let the Star Forge itself destroy you!" The door slid shut as Kenna tried to figure out what he meant. Her wondering was ended as the droid generators lining the walls crackled, spit electricity, and produced a droid each. She swore under her breath as she activated her lightsaber. _This could take awhile_. She figured it out relatively fast. Each time she killed a certain model of droid, a computer spike generated in the plasteel cylinder by the corresponding droid generator. When she had enough spikes, she could disable a generator, and there would be no more of that type of droid created. She applied herself to that end, making short work of droid after droid, collecting spikes, and shutting down the generators one by one until she was finally done.

* * *

Mission and Canderous were sitting on the boarding ramp, weapons close at hand while they played pazaak--again--when Carth and Jolee reached the hanger.

"Ha! I win!" Mission crowed as Canderous' total came to eighteen to her even twenty. "Finally!"

"One game out of twenty-three," Canderous pointed out gruffly, looking peeved. "Playing Republic Senate rules." He looked up as the pilot and Jedi approached, tensing as he sensed their urgency. "What's happening, Republic?" he demanded. Carth _hated_ it when the Mandalorian called him that.

"Where's Kenna?" Mission's tone echoed the mercenary's.

"Kenna went after Malak. We need to be ready to go as soon as she comes back," Carth explained. "She redeemed Bastila, so the Republic will probably be breaking through the Sith lines any minute now that her Battle Meditation is aiding them rather than the Sith."

"Oh. Wait, she redeemed Bastila?" Mission paused in the act of scraping her pazaak deck into an untidy lump.

Carth nodded. "I don't know how she did it, but Jolee felt it when Bastila came back."

"Wow, that's awesome! Um," Mission frowned, "does she know where the _Hawk_ is?"

"I'm sure she'll find it. Get in there." Carth pointed up the ramp.

"Yessir. Geezer," Mission teased as she vanished into the ship. Carth shook his head but decided not to retort.

* * *

Finally done with the droids, Kenna crossed to the door through which Malak had exited._ It's time to finish this_. She took a deep breath and keyed in the code to open the last obstacle between her and the Dark Lord.

He waited until she crossed the room to a few feet away from him before speaking. "Well done, Revan. I was certain the defenses of the Star Forge would destroy you, but I see there is more of your old self in you than I expected. You are stronger than I thought; stronger than you ever were during your reign as the Dark Lord. I did not think that was possible."

"The light side is stronger than you know, Malak," Kenna replied, lightsaber clasped loosely in her hand. She knew he was probably too far gone to return to the light, but she still had to try. However, unlike with Bastila, the thought of killing him didn't upset her at all. She would do what she had to do.

"I am tempted to try and capture you alive, Revan. Then I could break your will and bind you to me as my apprentice, as I did Bastila. You would be a far greater asset to me than even Bastila and her Battle Meditation if I could control you. But is it worth the risk? Perhaps you are too powerful to be my apprentice. I betrayed you when I realized my own strength was greater than yours; in time you might try to do the same to me."

_You think you could capture me alive and make me serve you?_ Kenna wanted to laugh at the idea. In the infinitesimally remote possibility he beat her, she would force him to kill her. She would never serve the dark side again. "You're still making the mistake of underestimating me, Malak," she pointed out as she shifted her weight from one leg to the other.

"I cannot deny your resilience," Malak conceded. "You survived my first betrayal, thanks to Bastila's interference. You escaped the destruction of Taris and you escaped me on the _Leviathan_. You even survived my attempt to destroy you with the Star Forge itself. Fate and destiny have conspired to keep you alive, despite all my efforts. We have been inexorably pushed to this final confrontation, Revan. I see now that this can only be settled when one of us destroys the other. Once again we shall face each other in single combat…and the victor will determine the fate of the galaxy!"

Kenna went on the offensive. There was no way she was going to give this man any chance of beating her. The galaxy needed to rid of him, and she had no intention of letting him destroy her._ I finally found love, found a reason to live. You are not going to win. I won't let you. _Her determination fueled the blindingly fast trio of strikes she slammed against Malak's lightsaber, leading to only one of the three missing. She pounded him relentlessly, backing off and blocking his counter strikes--most of them--from time to time. He chased her around the lower level of the control room, blind to everything except her. She was focused on him as well, but her mind was running through plan after plan concerning how to beat him. She could do it, but the 'how' part was eluding her at the moment.

Malak gained the upper hand, pounding the blade of his lightsaber against hers, his blows intended to wear her down. It was working. She was tiring. Fortunately, Malak stopped of his own accord.

"You continue to amaze me, Revan. If only you had been the one to uncover the true power of the Star Forge you might have become truly invincible. But you were a fool," he spat. "All you saw was an enormous factory, all you ever imagined was an infinite fleet rolling forth to crush the Republic. You were blind, Revan--blind and stupid!"

"What are you talking about?" Kenna demanded in exasperation.

"The Star Forge is more than just a space station. In some ways it is like a living creature. It hungers. And it can feed on the dark side that is within all of us! Look around you, Revan. See the bodies?" He gestured at the corpses that hung in stasis fields all around the room. "You should recognize them from the Academy," he mocked. "These are Jedi who fell when I attacked Dantooine. For all intents and purposes dead, except for one difference: I have not let them become one with the Force. Instead, I have brought them here. The Star Forge corrupts what remains of their power and transfers the dark taint to me!" He stretched out his hand and drained the life from the nearest of the bodies, replenishing his health. "You cannot beat me, Revan. Not here on the Star Forge. Not when I can draw on the power of all these Jedi! And once you are beaten I will do the same for you. You will be trapped in a terrible existence between life and death, your power feeding me as I conquer the galaxy!" He attacked her.

_Or I could defeat you_. Kenna parried his blow. _Two can play this game_. She ran over to a group of the Jedi corpses, using Death field to suck the life from all three simultaneously. Her own health replenished, she turned just in time to counter Malak's attack. She blocked, attacked him, and ran to another group of the bodies, draining their life even though she didn't need it, to prevent him from getting to them. She twirled her lightsaber around, thanking the Force for the double blades as she blocked a blow that would have been the end of her had she gone with a more conventional 'saber.

This battle was indeed harder; Malak was stronger here than he had been on the _Leviathan_. The dark side fueled his attacks while weakening her as she fought the whispers in her head as well the Dark Lord raining blows against her weapon. One foot skidded out from underneath the weary Jedi, sending her tumbling to the ground. Heart pounding, Kenna rolled away from Malak's increased attacks._ He's coming in for the kill. He thinks he's got you. Now, Kenna, now! Fight with everything you have left! _Ignoring the burning wound where his lightsaber had caught her left arm, Kenna parried a blow and scrambled to her feet. Her knee almost gave out when she tried to put weight on it. She could hardly stand._ Oh, Force! I must have twisted it when I fell_. She was worn out, too tired to summon the Force. She yanked out her last medpac and rammed it against her leg._ I can't do this. He's too strong here. I can't beat him. _

* * *

Carth felt uneasy. Something was wrong, he could feel it, and it wasn't just him being paranoid._ Kenna. She's giving up_. The thought struck him as ridiculous. For one thing, Kenna would never give up, and for another how would he be able to tell? He was no Jedi; they didn't have a Force bond through which he could feel her. They fought well together, but that was about it._ Are you sure? No, I'm not. But she can't give up. She wouldn't, not with the whole galaxy depending on her. She's still standing, if only just. _"Don't you dare give up, beautiful," he muttered under his breath, pacing across the hanger. "Not now."

* * *

_Don't you dare give up. _She had no idea where the nearly inaudible whisper came from, but it sent fresh energy coursing through her exhausted limbs. Kenna gritted her teeth and smashed her lightsaber against Malak's. Strength was her strong point, just as it was his. The Dark Lord grunted in pain as one of her blades slid around and made contact with his side. Kenna went on the offensive, slamming a blistering volley of blows against Malak. He managed to block some, but most landed. Finally, the Dark Lord of the Sith collapsed to his knees, ragged breathing loud and harsh in the otherwise silent room.

"Im…" he coughed, "impossible. I…I cannot be beaten. I am the Dark Lord of the Sith."

"The power of the light side will always be stronger than the dark side," Kenna panted, favoring her sore knee as she stood triumphant.

"Still…still spouting the wisdom of the Jedi, I see," Malak coughed. "Maybe there is more truth in their code than I ever believed. I…I cannot help but wonder, Revan," he labored, "What would have happened had our positions been reversed? What if fate had decreed I would be captured by the Jedi? Could I have returned to the light, as you did?" He coughed. "If you had not led me down the dark path in the first place, what destiny would I have found?" He sounded so regretful of his past, Kenna felt guilty. Until she remembered what Mission had told her in answer to almost that same question when Kenna had discovered her true identity: _"Malak kept goin' on his own. You may have started him on the path to the dark side, but he did a doozy of a job followin' it without any help from you."_

"I am sorry I started you on this path." She meant it. The fact she was largely responsible for someone's fall to the dark side ate at her soul and topped her list of regrets. "But you chose to continue down it." _It is not just my fault_.

"I suppose…I suppose you speak the truth," Malak rasped. "I alone must accept responsibility for my fate. I wanted to be Master of the Sith and ruler of the galaxy. But that destiny was never mine, Revan." He coughed again. "It might have been yours, perhaps…but never mine. And in the end, as the darkness takes me, I am nothing." With that last statement, the Dark Lord of the Sith fell dead in front of his former friend and master.

_It's over_. Kenna could hardly process it. She had done it. She had won, defeated Malak, saved the galaxy, and she wasn't dead. She was even still standing. She'd been sure even if she managed to survive the battle with Malak she would be laying in a near-dead heap next to him. But she wasn't. She was still standing. The exhilaration hit her in a rush._ I did it! _She grinned in relief, her solitary celebration cut short as the Star Forge shuddered under the Republic's assault. Remembering Bastila's admonition to hurry, she turned from the Sith Lord's body and limped out of the room. She was exhausted. And her arm hurt. Free hand pressed against the wound, Kenna headed for the hanger as fast as her wrenched knee would allow, wincing with every step and wishing she had a medpac left or something.

* * *

Carth stopped almost mid-stride as the door leading to the Star Forge slid open, hoping it was Kenna. When Bastila stepped forward instead, he felt disappointed and relieved at the same time. "Well?"

"I was able to help the Republic, if that is what you're wondering," she said defensively.

"It wasn't, but that is good to know." He hesitated. "Where's Kenna?"

"No more than ten minutes behind me at the most. She went to face Malak."

"Mm." Carth resumed pacing. "You want to wait on the ship with the others or out here with me?"

"I think I shall wait out here." She leaned against one of the supports for the boarding ramp and watched him. "You care about her quite a bit, don't you?" she probed after a few minutes passed.

"All of us do," Carth replied cautiously. He knew exactly what she was trying to find out.

"You care about her even more than the others do. She's more than just a friend and leader to you."

"What do you want to hear? That I worry about her? I do. That I would die for her?" Carth raked his fingers through his hair. "In a heartbeat. That I love her? I do."

Bastila was silent for a long moment. "Carth, you know--"

"Jedi aren't supposed to fall in love? Yes, I know. Such strong emotions can lead to the dark side. You only told her that a hundred times. Seems to me, the dark side is always a threat to Jedi, no matter what. Malak fell because of his friend. Aren't Jedi encouraged to form strong bonds between master and apprentice? Between friends? Aren't you supposed to trust each other?"

"Yes, but--"

"Her being in love doesn't seem a hell of a lot different than the Force bond she shares with you."

"A Jedi can help her stand strong against temptations from the dark side."

Carth knew better then to bring up how well Bastila herself had done resisting the dark side. "And someone who isn't a Jedi couldn't?"

Bastila was on the verge of a retort when the door opened and Kenna limped into the hanger.

"There you are! What happened?" Carth demanded, relieved she was alive but worried about how she was favoring one leg.

His concern warmed Kenna. "Darth Malak is dead," she reported, too tired to elaborate at the moment. "It's over, finally."

"That's wonderful news!" Bastila exclaimed. "There's no time to celebrate just yet. I was able to use my Battle Meditation to allow the Republic to break through the Sith Fleet. The capital ships are in bombardment range!" The hanger convulsed with a shudder to underscore her words.

"And that means we all have to get out of here right now, before this entire hanger comes down around our ears! Everyone else is already on the ship. Let's move!" Carth's impatience was understandable, but Kenna couldn't manage more than a slow hobble a the moment. He gave her an understanding smile-- "C'mere."--and practically carried her to the _Hawk_. As soon as they were on board, Kenna pulled free.

"Go get us out of here, flyboy," she ordered, pointing toward the cockpit. "I'm right behind you." She made her way through the main hold and to the cockpit just as he sent the _Hawk_ soaring out of the collapsing hanger. One hand gripped the back of the pilot's chair and the other braced against the center console to keep herself from tumbling as she tried to stand on one leg. Her left arm protested, harshly reminding her she had yet to get the wound across her bicep healed. _At least I'm still alive_, she thought as the Star Forge crumbled behind them.


	17. Love and Duty

The radio crackled as they made tracks from the imploding Rakatan weapon. "Carth--you made it!" The relief in Admiral Dodonna's voice was easily heard, even with the less than stellar connection.

He grinned as he shot back, "We couldn't let you start the victory party without us, Admiral!"

He would have sworn he heard her laugh. "I'm sending an honor guard to escort you in. You'll be getting a hero's welcome when we all get home." Even as she finished speaking, two Republic fighter pulled even with the _Ebon Hawk _and assumed escort positions.

"Oh, wonderful, Admiral, can't wait," Carth muttered sarcastically.

"For what?" Kenna inquired, not caring about Bastila's presence as she rested one hand on his shoulder affectionately.

"Hero's welcome. Big crowd of people who all want to see you, shake your hand and tell you you're the best thing to happen to the galaxy since lightspeed. Preceded by a ceremony, complete with speeches and all kinds of praise and attention," he summed up, remembering the one at the end of the Mandalorian Wars.

"Do I detect a distinct lack of enthusiasm?" Kenna teased, chuckling.

"Guilty as charged. I don't like all the attention." She gave him a Look. "Alright, I hate it. It feels…wrong to get praised for just doing my job."

"Why? If you deserve it, I mean."

"I don't do what I do for the attention--"

"You do it because it's right," Kenna finished, leaning down to kiss him on the cheek, then whispered, "That's why I love you."

"And here I thought it was 'cause of my good looks," he whispered teasingly as he kissed her back.

"Well, they certainly help," Kenna admitted, straightening. "Well, I'll let you concentrate on flying. Wouldn't seem right, surviving all that just to die 'cause my pilot got distracted." Carth ignored the teasing jab and focused on flying the ship.

Kenna slipped out and headed for the medbay. She needed to take care of her arm. It ached atrociously with the slightest movement. As she rummaged through one of the cabinets in search of a medpac, she sensed someone join her in the small room. "What, Bastila? Actually, if it's about Carth and me I don't want to hear it."

"Then I shall say it despite your protests. Love is forbidden to Jedi. How do you plan to explain yourself to the Council?"

"How do they explain a Force bond?" Kenna returned, somehow keeping herself from screaming_. Some things never change_. "And how is being in love different? Love isn't evil."

"It can lead you to do evil," Bastila sighed in exasperation. "Attachment is dangerous."

"Yet master and student form close bonds, Jedi are to view each other as comrades, almost brothers. Isn't that a form of attachment?"

"A Force bond is different. It is shared by two Jedi who can keep each other strong on the path of the light and inspire one another."

"Look." Kenna spun angrily on one heel and glared at Bastila. "I have lost track of the number of times Carth saved my life. I stopped counting. But even more than that, do you know what kept me strong on the Temple? When you made that oh-so-_very_-tempting offer to overthrow Malak? It wasn't my duty to the Jedi, or my loyalty to the mission that helped me say no. It was him. I said no because of _him_. Because he believes that Revan is dead, and Kenna has replaced her. We are both alive and the galaxy is safe because of love, rather than duty." She almost savagely tore off the ragged sleeve of her robe, slapping the synthetic skin patch over the wound. "Carth is a good man. Can you give me one good reason I shouldn't love him?"

"Love can lead to the dark side, as can any strong emotion." Bastila looked taken aback by the ferocity with which Kenna defended herself.

"Friendship led Malak to the dark side. Friendship caused your fall. Should Jedi refuse to have friends?"

"You and Carth must have collaborated on your responses. He said almost exactly the same thing," Bastila commented in frustration. "I don't want to see you fall because of him."

"You won't," Kenna replied with certainty. "If anything, you'll see me stay strong because of him."

"Alright, I suppose that's fair enough. I shall say no more. But you will have to explain yourself to the Council. I do not envy you that task." She smiled apologetically. "You have my sympathies."

"Thanks," Kenna groaned. She knew it would be hard to explain to the Council. They would more than likely demand she choose. That was one choice she did not want to have to make.

"Out of curiosity, which would you choose?" Bastila asked, leaning against the wall.

"Huh? Oh, right, Force bond." Kenna rubbed her arm uncomfortably. She knew what choice the younger woman meant. "I…" she sighed. "I…don't know."

"And that bothers you." It wasn't a question.

Kenna nodded. "I love Carth. No question. I love him so much, the thought of losing him to…to, well, anything scares the life out of me. To death, to my past, to duty." She looked over at Bastila. "There were a couple times back there I thought he was dead. I swear my heart stopped. The thought of living without him…" She hesitated before finishing, "…makes it hard to breathe."

"But?" Bastila prodded, knowing there was more.

"I have a duty to protect the galaxy. That's supposed to come first." Kenna groaned in frustration and dragged her fingers through her hair. "I'm torn between love and duty, and despite knowing which one should win, I don't know if it will."

Bastila was silent for a moment before replying. "Must you give one up? Love is forbidden to Jedi. I'm not suggesting it isn't." She paused, crossing to one of the beds and sitting down on the edge.

"Well, then, what am I supposed to do?" Kenna demanded. "I've been through too much with Carth to just abandon him. He is the reason--the only reason--I've managed to stay strong through everything."

"You don't have to be a Jedi to help defend the galaxy. The Republic serves much the same purpose as do the Jedi," Bastila pointed out.

"But I have an incredible affinity for the Force and everything about the life of a Jedi except the fact they can't love."

Bastila sighed. "Well, then. In this war between love and duty, you just have to decide which is more important." She rose and left the medbay. Kenna plunked down on the bed her friend had abandoned and buried her head in her hands._ Love and duty, duty and love. Which is more important? _Anyone not standing in her shoes would answer 'duty' with hardly a pause to think_. But if love helps me do my duty, why couldn't I have both? _She didn't want to choose. She wanted both.

Carth put the _Ebon Hawk_ on autopilot and went to find Kenna. Something had been bothering her, he could tell. And there was more then just the sore knee and wounded arm causing the pained expression on her face. He had only caught a fleeting glimpse as she left the cockpit, but she looked like the weight of an entire galaxy was pressing on her shoulders.

"She's in there." Bastila pointed toward the medbay as she passed him in the main hold, on her way back to the cockpit.

"Keep an eye on the controls for me?" he asked, pace quickening.

"Certainly." The ease with which she agreed made Carth even more suspicious. He stopped in the doorway to the medbay. Kenna was sitting with her head buried in her hands. _I knew something was wrong_.

"Kenna? What's wrong?" he asked, crossing to where she sat.

She looked up, startled. "Nothing." The dark circles under eyes told a different story.

"You're exhausted." Carth sat down next to her, not even bothering to call her out on the obvious lie. "C'mere." He leaned back against the wall.

"But--" Kenna tried to protest. There wasn't long before they would land on Rakata Prime, she needed time to think.

"Come. Here," Carth repeated with teasing firmness, pulling her over to lean against him. Kenna gave in, settling back against his chest. Carth wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. "Now, tell me the truth. What's wrong? I know something's bothering you." He kissed the back of her neck.

Kenna felt a shiver run down her spine. "That's cheating," she complained. "It's something I can't tell you about, and you're making me feel guilty."

"Good," he whispered, chuckling softly as he kissed her neck again. Kenna rolled her eyes and twisted around in his arms to kiss him on the cheek. Carth turned slightly and took it on the lips instead.

Kenna glared playfully at him. "Carth!" Her glare was interrupted by a yawn she couldn't hide.

"What? Can you blame me?"

"No, I guess not," she admitted, yawning again.

"Go to sleep, beautiful."

"But we're gonna be landing soon," Kenna protested, relaxing anyway.

"Every little bit helps." Carth chuckled when he saw she was already asleep.

* * *

"Hey, Carth, Bastila says we're gonna land s--" Mission slapped a hand over her mouth as she rounded the doorway to the medbay. Trapped as he was by the sleeping Jedi, the pilot had succumbed to his own weariness and fallen asleep as well. _Oh, this is too perfect_, the Twi'lek thought, grinning fiendishly as she slipped her holorecorder out of her pocket. It only took her a second, then she tapped Carth on the shoulder. "Carth? Carth? We're about to land."

"Huh?" He blinked and looked at her, only half awake.

Mission repeated herself. "We're gonna land soon."

"Oh. Thanks." Once fully awake, Carth had to figure out to how extricate himself from underneath Kenna. He finally accept that doing it without waking her up would be impossible. "Kenna, wake up." He shook her shoulder gently.

"Mmm." She shifted position and snuggled in even closer.

_Oh, Sith's blood. Well, it's my own fault I guess_. "Mission, little help?"

The Twi'lek giggled furiously as she acquiesced. "C'mon, Kenna. Time to wake up. Unless you wanna crash."

Kenna bolted upright, rubbing her eyes and looking so disoriented they couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, beautiful. I need to go land the _Hawk_," Carth apologized, still chuckling, as he slid from behind her.

"S'okay," she mumbled, still half asleep. "Go." Carth smiled, kissed her on the forehead, and disappeared toward the cockpit. Kenna looked over at Mission, who was still grinning. "What?" she demanded around a residual yawn.

"Oh, nothin'," Mission giggled, trying to act innocent and failing miserably. Kenna rolled her eyes and stretched, trying to massage to kinks out of her spine. "Whatsa matter? Weren't you comfortable?"

"Oh, be quiet." Kenna blushed. "And yes, for your information, I was very comfortable. As much as is possible for the angle my spine was bending."

"So what were you and Bastila talkin' about earlier? I tried askin' her already, while you and Carth were takin' your nap,"--Kenna blushed--"but she wouldn't tell me. She said it was somethin' you were workin' through and if you wanted me to know, you'd tell me. Sorry to ask, but curiosity is killin' me."

The reality she'd managed to forget for a short while came screaming back to the forefront of Kenna's mind. "Choosing."

"Between what?"

"Love and duty."

Mission looked at Kenna in confusion. "Whaddya mean, choosing between love and duty?"

"Remember one of the cardinal rules of being a Jedi? We aren't allowed to love. At least not the way I love Carth," Kenna replied. She sighed heavily, her temporary good mood dispelled. "Bastila was trying to help me figure out what to do, but she's apparently mastered the art of being cryptic as hell. I'm more confused now than before."

"And I guess falling asleep in his lap didn't help much either, huh?" Mission smiled sympathetically. "You'd think with them bein' so desperate for Jedi right now, they would make an exception or something. Especially 'cause you're Revan. Aren't you the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy?"

"Just about," Kenna conceded. She stood. "I'll figure it out. The worst part is knowing that duty, technically, should win out, but most likely won't. I'll feel like sewer trash either way. Not to mention losing Carth just might kill me. "

"Glad I'm not a Jedi," Mission muttered as she watched Kenna head toward the cockpit.

* * *

This landing was much smoother than the last one on Rakata Prime. Of course, the fact Carth didn't have to manage it with the _Hawk'_s stabilizers fried beyond repair was probably the main reason for that. He sat the _Hawk_ down on the same beach as before, far enough from the water that both of the escort fighters could land on the beach as well. As he powered down the ship's engines, he turned to Kenna. "Ready for this?"

She smiled and dragged him out of the pilot's chair "Any reason I shouldn't be?" Her eyes conveyed the unspoken second half: _"As long as I'm with you, just try me." _The crew disembarked from the Ebon Hawk together and met the Republic escorts on the beach. Kenna restrained a giggle at the expression on Canderous' face. It was obvious the Mandalorian was uncomfortable with the idea of being around Republic soldiers. It probably was an affront to his nature to have to be civil to them. Kenna reached for Carth's hand and intertwined her fingers with his. _He_ looked uncomfortable with the idea of impending attention.

"Hey, flyboy, you deserve it," she whispered to him. "I couldn't have done it without you."

"Doesn't mean I have to like it, beautiful," he whispered back.

"Try. For me?"

"You are evil, Kenna Tasman." Carth shook his head. "That was low."

She grinned impishly at him and turned to the soldiers waiting on the beach.

* * *

Not done yet! I have all kinds of ideas for post-Star Forge life for Carth and Kenna (insert evil grin here). Updates may slow a bit, as I'm also working on Aftermath, and trying to beat Dragon Age. Thanks so much to everyone who has favorited/reviewed/put me on story alert!


	18. Hero's Welcome

After exchanging greetings with the soldiers, they followed the younger of the two men--Trevin--to where some advance landing groups from the Republic Fleet had set up temporary shelters around the Temple for the night.

"Unfortunately, you'll have to share, we don't have enough for everyone to be alone," Trevin apologized.

"You kidding?" Carth chuckled. "We've been sharing four to a room for months. Only one roommate will be a relief."

"Guess so, Captain," Trevin conceded, with a smile that reached his eyes. "And no co-ed sharing, Admiral's orders. Other than that, it's up to you."

"Damn," Kenna teased, leaning over to kiss Carth on the cheek, grinning when he blushed. "You're so easy," she teased in a whisper. "I call Mission," she said louder.

"I want the Wookiee," Canderous grumbled. "He doesn't snore." Kenna nearly laughed out loud when she felt Carth bristle at the inference.

"I don't snore," he muttered under his breath.

"How would you know, Republic? You're asleep." Kenna grabbed Carth's arm to keep him from laying into the Mandalorian on the spot.

She smiled sweetly at Trevin. "We'll figure something out. Thank you." After he walked away, she turned to the others. "I'll share with Mission, Bastila, you can share with Juhani, Canderous, you can share with Zaalbar so you and Carth don't kill each other--"

"Maybe you should make 'em share," Mission piped up. "They gotta learn to get along sooner or later."

"No, I'd rather not tempt fate like that," Kenna replied, only half joking. "Carth and Jolee can share." Mission looked disappointed. "Besides, the last thing we need is you with more blackmail material. Yes, Mission Vao, I know your ulterior motives." Kenna smiled sweetly at the speechless Twi'lek. "Come on, it's late and we all need sleep."

She was awake before anyone else the next day. Kenna rolled over on the narrow military-issue cot, careful not to get to close to the edge lest the whole contraption upset and deposit her on the ground, as Mission's had done twice last night. She sighed and stared in the direction of the sky, despite the barrier in the way. _Now what?_ That had been the most nagging question in her mind since escaping the Star Forge. What was she going to do now that the Sith had been so crippled? She supposed eventually they would rise to power again, and she might have to face them again, but until then?_ I know one thing for certain: it _will _involve Carth_. Her decision had been made. If she couldn't be a Jedi and be with him, she would leave the Order. It was selfish, perhaps, to forsake the galaxy for one man. But she was so in love with him that having to leave him would probably kill her. Her restlessness drove her out of bed and the temporary shelter. She shuddered slightly as the dawn chill swept over her light-weight tunic. She'd left her outer tunic hanging on the foot of her cot. Kenna crossed her arms and decided not to worry about it. She could manage. Still shivering slightly, she crossed the Temple grounds to the low, crumbling wall circling the perimeter and perched on top of it. She took a deep breath and looked off in the direction of the sunrise as she settled in for a long discourse with herself.

When she returned to the camp, it was no longer deserted in appearance, as it had been when she made her way through it before. Now, everyone was up and busy about something. Kenna caught sight of her companions, and headed toward them.

Bastila looked up and smiled as she drew near. "There you are. Admiral Dodonna was wondering where you were."

"And you weren't?" Mission chipped in.

Bastila ignored her. "The Admiral mentioned that they want to start the ceremony soon," she said to Kenna. "Carth and Jolee are the only ones who still need to be told."

"I'll find Carth," Kenna offered.

"I thought you'd say that," Bastila chuckled. "We haven't seen him yet, so you might want to see if he's even awake yet, first of all. I'll go find Jolee." Kenna nodded and headed for the shelter Carth had shared with Jolee the night before.

"Carth?" She slid through the door of the shelter. "You awake?"

He wasn't. Kenna smiled when her eyes start to adjust to the dimness inside. Carth was sleeping on his stomach, one arm hanging off the edge of the narrow military-issue cot, the other buried under his pillow. As her eyes grew fully used to the lower light, Kenna saw he had slept in only a pair of flight pants. No shirt. As she stepped closer, she could see the scars from various battles covering his back, showing as pale brown ridges across his skin. "Carth," she whispered, then shook her head at herself._ What're you whispering for? You're supposed to be waking him up. But I don't want to. Not yet, anyway_. She took another, almost timid, step closer to the bed. She was more than half tempted to try and count the scars. Kenna wondered absently which were from the crash he'd told her about and which were from the Wars as she moved even closer. _I'll find out eventually_. The thought gave her no small amount of satisfaction. She reached out with one hand, fingers trembling slightly, to trace one long, slightly diagonal ridge that ran from the bottom of his shoulder blade practically all the way down his back. _Wonder where this one came from_. Her fingers had barely come in contact with his skin when he woke up.

Sensing the presence nearby when he woke, Carth reacted as his years in the military had conditioned him to, hand coming out from under the pillow clasped around the grip the blaster habit had dictated he have near. He jumped up, pushing the intruder back against one of the shelter's support poles.

"Carth!" Kenna protested, hands coming up and pressing against his chest to keep a little distance between them as she eyed the blaster held to her temple. He relaxed, blushing slightly at the amused gleam in her eyes.

"Oh, Sith's blood, Kenna, I'm sorry." He tossed the blaster towards his cot, not even looking to see where it landed. "I guess old habits die hard. Forgive me?"

She gave him a coy grin. "Mmm, I don't know." She slid one hand around the back of his neck and pulled him closer as her grin widened and turned decidedly seductive, matching the look in her eyes as she murmured, "Maybe I should make you work for it a little bit."

Carth grinned back at her. "Lucky me," he whispered before pulling her in the final fraction of an inch necessary for their mouths to meet.

Kenna slid her arms up around Carth's neck as his circled her waist, both pressing themselves deeply into the kiss_. Now _this_ is a _kiss, Kenna thought blissfully as her heart threatened to explode under the devastating inrush of passion. _On the beach was a kiss, and a good one, but this is a _kiss_. _She could feel the blood pounding in her temple as her pulse went through the roof. Her light-weight tunic was the flimsiest of barriers, and it was only seconds before she could feel the warmth of his bare skin soaking through it. She tangled one hand in his hair, the rest of the galaxy fading into non-existence as she poured herself into the moment, not even bothering to breathe until it ended.

"Am I interrupting?" Canderous' tone was so acerbic it effectively and merciless shattered the moment and yanked both Carth and Kenna back to reality. "Weren't you supposed to tell Republic something, Revan?"

Blushing more because of who had caught them than simply because they had been caught, Kenna muttered, "Admiral Dodonna wants to start the ceremony soon. So, back in that armor, flyboy." _Much as I like you out of it…_

"What's wrong with my flight jacket?" Carth demanded, reluctantly letting her go.

"Oh, absolutely nothing, as far as I'm concerned." Kenna gave a grin that dared him to continue at his own possible peril.

"So why the armor? It's hot," he grumbled.

"Yes, it is," Kenna agreed. "In more ways than one."

He stared her for a second, knowing exactly what she meant, before moving to collect the scattered pieces. "Fine. Go." He pointed toward the door.

"Maybe I should stay in case that shoulder guard gives you trouble again." She chuckled at the look he gave her. "Oh, fine." Kenna kissed him again. "Yum," she whispered in a whimsical tone before pulling away and leaving.

He forced himself to not stare at her hips as she left. After Kenna had disappeared, Carth set about pulling on the armor, hoping Canderous would take the hint and leave. He didn't. "What?" The Mandalorian was staring at him.

"Just wondering if Revan's a good kisser." Carth ignored him, reaching for the chest plate of the armor and trying to control his temper. "C'mon, Republic," Canderous goaded, watching with wicked amusement as Carth's jaw tightened. "How'd she do?"

"None of your business," Carth growled, struggling to resist the overpowering urge to clock the leering mercenary. _That's what he wants you to do_.

"Alright, fine, don't tell me. Wouldn't surprise me if a Jedi didn't know what the hell she was doing. But then, Revan was a Sith for a while." Canderous smirked. "Who knows what she and Malak--"

"Shut up," Carth snapped. "You can say whatever the hell you want to about me," he growled, "but you say one more thing about _Kenna_ and I swear--"

"_Kenna_ never existed, Republic. That's the fake past the Jedi created for _Revan_."

"She decided to be Kenna. As far as she's concerned, Revan is dead."

"Whatever you say. Try convincing the rest of the galaxy of that," Canderous scoffed before walking off. Carth wasn't sorry at all to see him go.

Kenna headed back to the shelter she had shared with Mission. She needed to finish getting dressed herself. The outer tunic of her Qel-Droma robes still hung on the end of her cot, slightly wrinkled but otherwise fine. Mission came in as Kenna pulled on the tunic.

"How long's it take to find one pilot?" the Twi'lek joked.

"Oh, not long," was all the reply Kenna offered as she cinched the belt over the tunic.

"Come on, out with it," Mission demanded, grinning furiously.

"Out with what?" Kenna feigned innocence, raising one eyebrow at her friend. "The fact Carth's a good kisser? Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Mission made a face. "Ew. But how long of a kiss are we talkin'?"

"When you're in a state of absolute bliss you don't exactly count seconds," Kenna pointed out. "Come on. We don't want to keep the Admiral waiting."

"If you insist," Mission agreed, feigning reluctance. Kenna knew she was looking forward to all the attention as much as Carth was dreading it.

The _Ebon Hawk'_s crew met the Admiral and Master Vandar on the ramp leading into the Temple. It was the only place they could stand where the assembled soldiers could all see them. Kenna was thankful for the low wall that blocked anyone standing below from seeing how tightly her fingers were intertwined with Carth's. She looked at her companions, scarcely able to refrain from laughing at Mission's obvious enjoyment as the teenager waved to the crowd.

The soldiers all fell silent when Admiral Dodonna stepped forward. "You have defeated Malak, destroyed the Star Forge, and broken the spirit of the Sith!" The Admiral smiled at all of them, even Canderous, as she continued, "For this I am proud to present you each with the Cross of Glory. The highest honor the Republic can bestow." Kenna caught the look the Admiral exchanged with Carth as she pinned on his medal, and resolved to ask him about that later. The Admiral turned to face the crowd. "From Coruscant to the furthest reaches of the Outer Rims you will be known as the saviors of the Republic!" The soldiers cheered as Dodonna stepped back and allowed Master Vandar to come forward.

"On behalf of the Jedi Council, defenders of the galaxy and sworn protectors of the Republic, I too would like to honor you for your actions," Vandar said warmly. "We Jedi now have another tale to weave into the grand history of our eternal Order--" Kenna could have sworn he smiled at her before continuing, "the Redemption of Revan, the Prodigal Knight. Wherever you go you will be recognized as the saviors of the galaxy. The heroes of our age. But you must remain ever vigilant," he cautioned. "For one day, you may be called upon yet again to defend the glory of the Republic against the tyranny of the dark side, for this is the destiny of the Jedi." Kenna couldn't help but hold her head high as the Jedi Master concluded his address. The emotion welling in her chest wouldn't let her do anything else.

Mingling wasn't her favorite thing in the world to do, but doing it with Carth's arm possessively around her shoulders made it bearable. Her greatest fear had been that the soldiers wouldn't care what was said and would still see her as Revan, as the enemy in need of extermination, but that fear had proved groundless so far. Everyone she had met; a long parade of names, faces, and ranks she would never be able to remember no matter how hard she tried, had been courteous at least, and some very friendly. She'd seen the eyes of a couple men light up when introduced, and could only imagine the look Carth must have given them to make them back off.

"You don't share very well, do you?" she ribbed, shooting him a grin that made it plain she didn't mind at all.

"Why should I?" He kissed the top of her head.

"Good point," Kenna conceded, tilting her face toward him. "Kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am," Carth teased as he obliged.

"Y'know, a hero's welcome isn't as bad as you made it sound," she chided when they pulled back.

"To each his own. I still don't like all the attention."

"Carth, there you are." Admiral Dodonna approached the two of them. "If it's alright, I need to borrow you for just a couple minutes."

"Oh, no problem." Kenna assured her with a smile. "But I do want him back."

"No worries. I really do only mean a couple minutes."

"I'll hold you to that." She wandered in the direction to where she'd last seen Bastila, only to be distracted by a nearby conversation between two soldiers. Normally against eavesdropping, she found herself unable to stop. The conversation was about her.


	19. No Matter What

"But she seems to be changed," one of the soldiers, who Kenna recognized as Trevin, protested.

"Do Sith ever change?" the other man demanded.

"You're essentially saying she's beyond redemption and this is just an act to lull us into complacency, Arrik. I think her being redeemed makes far more sense," Trevin insisted. "You didn't meet her like I did."

"Please, Trev," Arrik scoffed. "You only talked to her for what, a minute? It's very easy to pretend to be something for a minute."

"Why are you so determined to not believe her?" Trevin demanded. "Besides, Captain Onasi sure seems to trust her, and you know he doesn't trust just anyone."

"Because I know what the Sith are like. My family lived on Telos. They all died when the Sith attacked. My parents, my sister, my nephew, everyone I knew. And we should just forget everything horrible she put the galaxy through because she said she's sorry? Forgive me if I'm a little slow to be willing to do that. I'd rather put a blaster to her head and pull the trigger," Arrik spat.

She couldn't listen any more. Kenna bit back the threatening tears--and rage--and slipped away, circling to the opposite side of the Temple from the celebration. She found a reasonably clean chunk of rubble and perched on it, hugging her knees against her chest. She stared off into the distance as she wrestled with her thoughts._ After everything I've done to try and atone for my past crimes, people still hate me. My past is always going to hang over my head, no matter what I do. But Telos wasn't my fault. It wasn't. _

* * *

His conversation with the Admiral finished, Carth tried to find Kenna. She seemed to have disappeared.

"Where's your other half?" Mission teased, catching him off-guard.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I can't find her anywhere."

"My advice would be to look where there are no other people. Maybe she remembered something else from her past and needed to be alone," the Twi'lek suggested.

"You might be right."

"Want me to help?" she offered.

Carth shook his head. "Thanks for the offer, but you can stay here. I know you're having fun."

" 'Kay." Mission disappeared back into the throng as Carth made his way through the crowd under he finally slipped free. Figuring she couldn't have gone far, he circled the Temple until he found her.

"Kenna, what's wrong?" He had never seen her looking so forlorn.

"Nothing. I…just needed to think."

"Why don't I believe you?" He sat down next to her. Kenna shifted position, leaning back against his shoulder and letting her legs hang down.

"I guess you know me too well," she said softly. They were both quiet for a long moment before she spoke again. "I overheard two soldiers talking. One of them was saying he didn't think…Revan could ever be redeemed. That Sith never change. His whole family died on Telos, and he wants to know why everyone's willing to forgive me just because I said I was sorry." The words came out in a painful, bitter rush. "No matter what I do, there's always going to be people who only care about all the evil Revan did."

"First, beautiful, you've done more than just say you were sorry. If he said that, he was ridiculously simplifying matters. You spent months flying all over the galaxy, risked your life more than once--which I try not to think about--and rejected the dark side at least three times over. What more can you do?" He wrapped his arms around her and gave her a gentle squeeze.

"Honestly? I think some people would like me to kill myself."

"No." His voice went tight.

"Relax, Carth, I won't do that," she assured him, snuggling in closer.

"And someone needs to have a talk with this soldier if he blames you for Telos. That was Malak, as Canderous was so quick to point out when I tried that same tact," Carth reminded her, not missing the irony of the situation. "And obviously you could be redeemed, and Sith can change." Kenna nodded, but she still looked miserable. He sighed. "What aren't you telling me?"

"He…he also said he'd rather…put a blaster t-to Revan's head and pull the trigger," she whispered so quietly he barely heard her.

_That_ stung. Enough that Carth actually winced. How did he reply to that, considering he'd said almost the exact same thing on Tatooine? "He doesn't know what he's talking about. And neither did I," he tacked on the end when he felt her on the verge of saying something. "He needs to give you a chance."

Kenna turned and smiled at him. "What would I do without you?"

"If I have any say, you'll never have to find out. I plan on sticking to you like a shadow for the rest of your life." He kissed her.

"No matter what?"

"No matter what," he promised. "I love you."

Kenna felt like giggling. "I love you, too. No matter what. I'm not going anywhere, ever," she promised. They sat for a moment before she spoke up again. "Hey, Carth?"

"What, beautiful?"

"Why'd Admiral Dodonna smile at you like she did when she gave you your medal?"

He chuckled. "Inside joke. She was in command of my unit for part of the Mandalorian Wars. We fought several pretty intense battles while she was in charge, and she used to tease me about all medals I was awarded. After the fourth or fifth one she ask me if I had enough or if I was going to keep trying until I had a Cross of Glory."

Kenna laughed. "Oh. Guess she got her answer. What did she want to talk to you about?"

He sighed. "I wish I could tell you. She swore me to secrecy for the time being."

"Oh." She shifted slightly and Carth could tell she was hurt.

"Sorry, beautiful. I'll tell you soon as she lets me," he promised.

"Is it something about me?" Kenna demanded, turning to look at him.

"No. That much I can tell you. It, uh, it might affect you, but it was not about you." He kissed her cheek. "Nothing to worry about, I promise."

"Sorry to nag. I know how I must sound." Kenna gave him an apologetic smile.

"You don't have to apologize, Kenna. It is kind of odd, an Admiral dragging me off to speak in private. However," he teased, "if you feel too bad about it, I'm sure I can think of a way for you to make it up." He laughed as Kenna turned pure scarlet all the way up her ears.

She swatted his arm playfully. "Carth Onasi, you are a bad, bad man."

"I just meant a kiss, beautiful." He laughed again at her expression. "You have a dirty mind for a Jedi, you know that?"

"Ugh, don't say the 'J' word, please. I have to meet with the surviving Masters eventually. No way I'll be able to hide my feelings well enough that they won't sense something."

"And?" He had a feeling he knew where this was going.

"And they may make me choose." Kenna shifted nervously, and Carth didn't need Jedi abilities to tell she was uncomfortable with this turn in the conversation. "Choose be-between you and my status as a Jedi." She looked up at him, saw the worry clouding his face, and finished, "I hope they don't."

"Why?" he asked guardedly. _Here it comes…_

"I'll feel awfully guilty leaving the Order when there's still so much to do."

"You would actually--"

"Leave the Jedi? If they wanted me to give you up, yes, in half a heartbeat. I know they say love interferes with our duty, but I…I love you so much losing you might… kill me." The words came in a halting rush; it was harder to tell him how she felt than to pour out her feelings to Mission.

* * *

His response was to kiss her with ferociously tender passion.

It seemed the only natural thing to do. He had known the topic would come up. Simple matter of reality, it had to. And Carth had been prepared to lose out to Kenna's duty as Guardian of the freshly rescued Republic. The Jedi would need her; he couldn't and wouldn't ask her to forsake the whole galaxy for him. Mostly because he knew if he did ask, she would do it. He had been a soldier far too long to not know the importance of duty. Duty came before personal feelings. Always, no matter what. But she was willing to give that up for him. _What did I do to deserve her?_

Kenna smiled at him impishly when they finally separated. "What was that for?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed in mock exasperation. "Because you are absolutely without a doubt the most amazing woman in the galaxy and I love you with my whole heart. That work for you?"

"Mm-hm." She nodded, looking extremely contented as she snuggled closer. "Wow, no interruption. No Mission looking for her pazaak deck, or Canderous…being Canderous."

"Disappointed?" Carth teased.

"Absolutely and most definitely not." She kissed him back, turning to slide one hand up behind his neck. They both went longer than would be thought possible without breathing before reluctantly pulling apart. Kenna slid over until she was sitting in Carth's lap and rested her head on his chest. "So, having saved the galaxy, what do we do now?"

Carth pretended to think about that for a second. "Well, first of all, beautiful, I think you should marry me."

* * *

Her heart skipped a beat. _Did he really just say that?_ "Wh-what?" Kenna managed, voice barely above a whisper, not believing she'd heard him right.

She felt the chuckle rumble in his chest as he held her closer. "You heard me. I want to marry you."

"Really?" She looked up at him with a stunned smile. "Even with everything in my past? Everything I caused?"_ Despite everything Revan did, you still love me enough to marry me?_

"Kenna, when I said no matter what, I meant it. You still haven't answered. Will you marry me?"

Her heart pounding, she smiled and replied, "Yes."

He tried not to show how relieved he was. He hadn't been planning to ask her that yet. It just felt…right, for some reason, to do it now rather than later. "Good. I'm glad."

She looked up at him, startled. "Wait, you were actually afraid I would say no?"

"The thought crossed my mind," he admitted reluctantly. "Silly, I know. But you know how I like to worry."

"True. That's one of the things I love the most about you, while also driving me crazy the fastest."

"You mean you weren't crazy already?" Carth teased, laughing and grabbing her arm when she attempted to playfully slap him. "Nice try, beautiful."

"Fine. I just won't kiss you for a while." Kenna turned her back toward him.

"Do you really want to try that?" he whispered, lightly brushing her ear with his lips as he did. Kenna flushed bright red at the touch. "I think that might punish you as much as me."

_I hate it when he's right!_ Kenna groaned. "You do know how to torture a woman, you know that?" she muttered as she turned back to her previous position.

"Well, then this will make it even worse. We probably should get back to the celebration. Before they get worried, send a search party, and ruin our moment."

"Have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when you're right?" Kenna stood.

"Yes, I do believe you have."

She pulled him to his feet. "Come on. If we're going back there, we might as well get it over with."

He laughed as he let her haul him up. "After you."

"None of that," Kenna scolded playfully, looping her arm around his waist. "I know you don't like all the attention, but do it--"

"If you say 'for me' I will throw you in the ocean when we head back to the _Hawk_," Carth threatened. "I'm not kidding."

"Reeeeally?" She raised one eyebrow. "In that case," she smiled sweetly, "For me?"

"When will I learn?" Carth wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they headed back to the crowd.

"Hopefully never. It's fun to tease you."

"And why is that?" He kissed the side of her head.

"You take it in stride so well. Y'know, like the time on Taris I called you an ungrateful monkey-lizard and you just laughed at me and asked if that was my idea of an insult."

"It wasn't much of an insult, beautiful. Where did you even get that from?"

Kenna shook her head. "I have no idea."

"I do have to admit, 'drooling Bomarr cast-off' was a good one." Carth laughed when Kenna blushed. "But I think my personal favorite was either 'hairless Wookiee' or 'handsome thug'."

"Yes, I thought you liked that one," Kenna teased, "Though if my memory serves correctly, you weren't too keen on the thug part."

Their arrival back at the celebration forestalled Carth's retort.

* * *

Ah, mush... It's so fun to lay it on thick. :) I am having way too much fun writing this story, thanks for indulging me...


	20. Face the Music

"What did you guys talk about?" Mission demanded later, when she finally managed to drag Kenna away from her near-constant cloud of admirers.

"Whaddya mean?" Kenna played innocent.

"You know what I mean, Ken. What did you and Carth talk about when you conveniently vanished from the party?"

"Oohh, that."

"Yes, that." Mission crossed her arms. "What did you talk about?"

"Well, I overheard a conversation when one soldiers was saying all kinds of… unkind things about Revan, so I'd been sulking. He had to get me out of my funk, then we got around to the Jedi and how I'm leavin' the Order if they want me to give him up. Then I asked him what he thought we should do, now that we've saved the galaxy."

"What did he say?" Mission pleaded.

Kenna couldn't stop her cheeks from coloring. "He said I should marry him."

Mission's jaw dropped. "What?? Seriously??"

"No, just kidding. Yes, seriously," Kenna laughed. "Something wrong with that?"

"No way. It's awesome, I'm happy for you guys." The Twi'lek grinned. "I just didn't think he would ask so soon."

"You knew he was going to ask me?"

"I'm good at reading people, remember? I knew after Kashyyyk that it would happen sooner or later, long as you both survived." Mission giggled at Kenna's expression. "C'mon, Kenna, it's not like it wasn't obvious how much he loves you."

"Okay, I'll give you that. Now I just have to figure out how to deal with the Council when they eventually corner me. I probably should just face the music and get it over with, but I don't really want to."

"How many of the Masters actually survived?"

"Well, I know Vandar did, obviously. And I think I saw Vrook somewhere, but I hope I was imagining things."

Mission shook her head. "You weren't. Sorry. I saw him lecturing Bastila about her fall to the dark side about an hour ago."

Kenna groaned. "Great. And I know Master Dorak and Master Zhar both died, so I'm appealing to Vandar and Vrook without a balancing voice." She ran her hands through her hair in frustration. "Vrook will just hammer me about falling in love."

"Aren't there any other Masters? They can't have all been on Dantooine," Mission pointed out.

"True. But I don't know if any of them made it here. The Masters will probably want to talk before we leave Rakata Prime," Kenna explained. "They let me leave, they may never see me again. I'll go hide in some remote corner of the galaxy with only Carth for company." She smirked. "That actually doesn't sound half bad."

"Well, remember, you'd have Big Z an' me, too. He'll follow you 'cause of his lifedebt. And you know I go wherever he goes."

"What if I told you we…wanted to be alone?" Kenna grinned slyly, then burst out laughing at Mission's expression.

"Ew. That's all I have to say. Just ew." The Twi'lek shuddered at the image conjured up by Kenna's words. "Let's change the topic, shall we?"

"That's right, I forgot I was talking to a kid." Kenna chuckled and grabbed Mission's wrist as the teenager tried to hit her. "Now, now, young lady."

"Kenna Tasman, I'm gonna kill you!" Mission's threat didn't sound very serious, uttered as it was through a fit of giggles.

"Forgive me for not being afraid." Kenna arched one eyebrow.

"Why not?" Mission planted her hands on her hips.

"Because if you kill me, Carth'll kill you."

"Hmm. Good point. Maybe I'll just annoy you to death." The Twi'lek grinned. "That could be lots of fun."

"And it could work both ways," Kenna pointed out.

"Oh, curses, you're right." Mission pretended to pout. "Well, then maybe I won't kill you or annoy to death. I'll just tell Vrook where to find you and let him do it for me."

"Now that's evil," Kenna complained.

"What is, beautiful?" Carth walked up behind Kenna and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.

"Mission's going to rat me out to Master Vrook. Where have you been?" She kissed him on the cheek.

"Enduring polite conversation. No matter how unappealing you find the topic of conversation, you have to listen if the speaker is a higher rank than you."

"How much higher could they be? Captain's pretty high up."

"Vice-Admiral. Just barely higher, but protocol still applies."

"Ah. Don't you just love protocol?" Kenna teased, sarcasm dripping from her words.

"Oh, yes. Especially the parts about not getting romantically involved with someone who ranks higher than me."

"And who would that be?" she asked innocently.

"You. Jedi technically rank higher than anyone in the military." Carth grinned at the look on her face. "Why do I have a feeling I'm going to regret telling you that?"

"I have no idea," Kenna replied, smiling sweetly. "I promise not to abuse my power…too much."

"I am so gone." Mission made a gagging noise at the look that passed between Jedi and pilot and took off in search of Zaalbar.

"Kids," Carth chuckled, unable to hide his amusement.

"I can't wait until she's making mushy eyes at some guy. I will tease her so much."

"Y'know, beautiful, for someone who's supposed to be so good, you can be incredibly evil at times."

"Yet you still love me, so I can't be too bad."

"You have me there, beautiful," Carth admitted, kissing the top of her head.

"Can I have you somewhere else, too?" she whispered, leaning back against him.

"Now, now." Carth chuckled as he scolded her. "No talking dirty when there are other people around."

"Then let's go somewhere we can be alone. Say, the roof of the Temple? We've socialized enough. And maybe the Masters won't find me up there."

"I think _that_ is just wishful thinking, beautiful." Carth slid one arm down to rub her back as she groaned. "You're going to have to deal with them sooner or later."

"I say later. As in, 'check back in a couple decades'," Kenna mumbled. "Mmmm. That feels good. Don't stop."

Mission darted back over. "Thought you'd like to know the Jedi Masters are heading this way. You have about five minutes if you wanna try to disappear," she warned.

Kenna groaned and dragged both hands through her hair. "Well, might as well get it over with, I guess." She looked up at Carth. "You probably should go. I can handle them. And it might be better if you aren't here."

"Well, if you put it that way, beautiful..." He stole one last kiss, gave her an encouraging smile and disappeared after Mission. He didn't like leaving; it felt like abandoning her, but she had a point. It would probably go better for her if he wasn't there.

* * *

Kenna took a deep breath to calm herself down, and waited for the Jedi Masters. _Oh, Force. What am I going to say? How do I defend myself if they bring a certain violation of the Jedi Code? How do I make it clear I will leave the Order before I give up Carth without sounding too defiant?_ She shook her head. _Just face the music and take it as it comes. You're overthinking things. Calm...down._

"Ah, Revan, there you are." Master Vrook came into view, followed by Vandar and three Masters Kenna hadn't met before.

"Master Vrook." She nodded in greeting. "Would you mind not calling me Revan? I've decided to let Revan be dead. I'm Kenna now." _As I've been insisting to everyone from Carth to cannibalistic Rakatan ever since I found out who I was._

Vrook raised one eyebrow. "If you wish. But why?"

"While the tale in the Jedi Archives will include my redemption, the galaxy at large still harbors quite a lot of hostility and animosity toward Revan, because of my fall to the dark side. Kenna, on the other hand, is the savior of the galaxy, able to resist the dark side's temptations and stand for what's right and all that. Besides that, all of the people who matter to me, except Bastila and Jolee, knew me as Kenna long before they knew I was Revan."

She saw the look that passed between Vrook and the green-skinned Twi'lek standing behind him before Vrook nodded his agreement to her request."Very well."

"Before we begin, allow me to introduce the others," Vandar spoke up. He extended one hand toward the Twi'lek. "This is Master Shi'ian, and the two humans are Masters Kyraa Tane and Tristan Allorn." The man and woman both bowed their heads slightly in greeting.

As Kenna returned the greeting, she decided she liked Tristan better than Kyraa or Shi'ian. He looked less stern than the others, a smile showing in his amber eyes. Or maybe it was the dark blonde hair spiking in multiple directions that reassured her he would more likely be an ally than an enemy. She had a feeling he and Vandar would be the most sympathetic if the issue of her relationship with a certain pilot came up.

"We are curious what you intend to do, now that your mission to defeat Malak is completed," said Shi'ian in an inquiring tone.

"I haven't had much time to think about it," Kenna pointed out, sidestepping the question. "What does the Council think I should do?" They exchanged looks.

"Well," began Kyraa, "you should return to the Temple on Coruscant with us, first of all. And the aid of Revan, whatever name you may be going by now, to help safeguard and strengthen the Republic would be an invaluable help. Even if the people only know you as who you are now."

Kenna bit her lip to keep from lashing out at the woman's cool, formal tone, in part because she knew Kyraa had a point. _Just leave everyone I care about, just like that?_ "What about my crew?"

"Oh, the Jedi are welcome to join us at the Temple."

"What about the non-Jedi? What are they supposed to do?" Kenna demanded, calm veneer beginning to crack at the thought of abandoning anyone. _And like _hell_ Jolee'll go to the Temple. He'll probably just go back to Kashyyyk._

"Oh, I'm sure the Mandalorian can take care of himself. And Captain Onasi will probably get a new assignment, now that this one is concluded. Why the curiosity?" One of the woman's eyebrows arched upward.

"The Wookiee owes me a lifedebt, he's sworn to go wherever I go for the rest of my life. And Mission is his best friend; she goes wherever he goes. I'm wondering what will happen to them."

"I'm sure we can work out something," Tristan smiled. "They did assist her in saving the galaxy," he pointed out when Shi'ian started to object. "We at least owe them something, don't you agree?"

The Twi'lek nodded. "You have a point. We will see what we can do."

"So, was that all?" Kenna asked hopefully, and a tad suspiciously. _That was _too_ easy._

"Is there anything you feel we should know about your journey?" Master Vandar said, holding up one hand to motion for Kenna to stay where she was as she started to walk away.

Kenna immediately jettisoned all thoughts of Carth from her mind. "Not particularly. At least, nothing important."

"Oh?" Describing Vrook's expression as 'stern' would have been an understatement on par with saying Malak was a bad person. "During my conversation with Bastila, something came to my attention. About your relationship with Captain Onasi."

_Bingo. I knew that was too easy. Here we go..._"What about it? Did I do something wrong?" Kenna didn't know how she kept her voice steady with all the tension coiling inside her.

"Some of the things Bastila said led me to believe there are feelings of some kind between you and him."

_There it is. Oh, Force, what do I say? _"Such as?"

"Some things about the way you and the Captain interacted after you were a fair way into the mission."

"Oh, you mean Manaan? I already explained to her there was nothing. All she sensed there was that he finally came around to being willing to trust me. He is the most paranoid person I've ever met, though with good reason."

"So you didn't... care for him?" Vrook pressed, obviously unconvinced. Kenna felt him probe her mind, attempt to read her emotions and clamped down even harder. _I need to help rebuild the Republic. Why is he questioning me about this? Shouldn't we be trying to work together?_ She filled her head with thoughts totally unrelated to Carth.

"Romantically? No. As a friend, yes, I cared about him. I still do. I care about all of them. Are Jedi not allowed to care about allies now?" _Cool it, honey. You'll make them suspicious._

"Not romantically." Kyraa's tone was emotionless as she inserted herself into the conversation.

"Why?" Kenna crossed her arms and tried to look curious rather than confrontational. Bastila had already gone through every single argument possible, and she had refuted them all.

"Love is attachment, which leads to jealously and fear, which leads to anger, which leads to hate. It is the path to the dark side." Kyraa extended a hand toward Kenna. "You have a reply?"

"Well, first, I think you should say it _can lead to_, rather then _leads to_. You cannot guarantee that love will lead to the dark side. But any strong emotion can lead to the dark side. Even friendship. Malak and Bastila both fell, or at least reached a point of starting to fall, because of friendship."

"You're saying love can keep you strong?" Tristan inquired, looking genuinely interested.

"Yes." Kenna turned eagerly to what was probably the only sympathetic ear in the whole group. "If a Jedi were in love with someone, let's say for the sake of the illustration Captain Onasi and me, love could be instrumental in refusing the offers of the dark side. Knowing that there was someone who was so good, who loved me the way I am, waiting could be a great aid in refusing offers of power and glory. Especially if it was Captain Onasi. " Her voice shook, passion and nerves getting the better of her as she continued, "He's loyal to the Republic, concerned with the good of the galaxy more than personal gain, constantly doing what's _right_ rather than what's _easy_. He's brave, selfless, and _good_. Someone like that would never stand with a Sith. Therefore, that wasn't an option." She had rehearsed her defense so many times it slipped free with such ease she didn't even realize she was giving herself away. "I knew my mission was important, and I was and still am loyal to the Jedi Council, but it would be a lie to say those were my main reasons."

"So you do care for him?" Kyraa raised one eyebrow.

_Oh, damn it!_ Kenna wanted to kill herself for that. "I didn't at that point, but now, yes I do. Is there a problem with that?"

"You have a duty to the galaxy over just one man," Shi'ian chided sternly, crossing her arms.

"I doubt very much falling in love with a Republic soldier is going to hinder my duty to the galaxy. Car--Captain Onasi is such a loyal soldier he'll probably pester me to death if he thinks I'm neglecting the galaxy for him. However," Kenna held out her lightsaber toward the Masters. "If you think it will be that much of a problem, I'll leave the Order. If you really don't want to work with a Jedi who is breaking the Code, I can surrender my lightsaber and Force abilities." It was a risk, but she was serious. "If I told you breaking his heart like that would kill me and then you _still_ wouldn't have my help, would that influence your answer at all?" She stared straight at Kyraa as she asked. She knew Vrook was probably of more than half a mind to cast her out of the Order already. Kyraa, however, now looked undecided.

"We need you," she admitted, dark eyes full of uncertainty. "But I don't think we can condone your disregard for one of the most important rules of the Order."

"Kyraa, I think we should think about this before we give her an answer. Perhaps a compromise is possible?" Tristan suggested.

"I don't see how," Kyraa replied apologetically. "But we can try." She looked over at Vrook, and Kenna suddenly got the sense that the woman was a fairly new addition to the Council, which explained her wanting to go by the book.

"I understand if a compromise is impossible," Kenna reassured her. "I'm perfectly willing to aid the Republic with rebuilding even if I do it without Jedi abilities. Or maybe I could live as a civilian and not claim to be a Jedi unless some great crisis arises?" All but Vrook looked willing to accept that. The old man was still frowning. Kenna sighed. _I should have known he would be the toughest to convince._ "Master Vrook?"

"It still seems like you want us to accept you breaking the Jedi Code."

"Let me make myself even clearer." Kenna was struggling to reign in her temper. Erupting wouldn't help her case in the slightest, but he was_ infuriating_. "I will hide my lightsaber, not use the Force, live like any normal human on whatever planet I end up on, and not say a word to anyone about being a Jedi, but you can call me out of my self-imposed exile if you need me."

"And you think you won't be recognized?" Vrook was still skeptical.

"I'm willing to chance it if you are," Kenna challenged.

"I don't think we need to go that far even," Tristan pointed out. "I think this relationship might actually be for the best. I sense no lies in what she's told us." He turned to Kenna. "If Captain Onasi really is so much a motivation for you, perhaps the relationship could continue, and you could still help us with rebuilding the Republic."

"How would we explain our relationship? It's well known the Jedi aren't supposed to develop such close, and enduring, relationships as what we have."

"Maybe if you just don't volunteer it as public knowledge, it could work."

Kyraa nodded. "I have to agree with him." She turned to Shi'ian. "What do you think?"

The Twi'lek looked undecided. "Master Vrook has some good points as well, though." They all turned to Vandar. And the head of the Council--such as it was--it came to his decision when they were so divided.

"While it is unorthodox, I believe we will go with Tristan's plan," he said. "Provided you can be content with a degree of anonymity." He looked at Kenna as he finished.

"Of course," she promised eagerly, unable to believe he had actually agreed. "I won't do anything to even hint at being a Jedi. And I am always available if you need me."

"That is good to know." Tristan smiled. "Hopefully just the story of your redemption will be enough inspiration for others and we can leave you to your life. Though if you would be willing to live on Coruscant and help us rebuild, it would be appreciated."

Kenna returned his smile. "I'll have to see how things play out, but I will do my best." _I'm going wherever Carth goes. If he ends up on Coruscant, I'm only too happy to help._

"That's good to hear." A smile cracked Kyraa's face. "I think that was everything. You're free to go. We will want to hear a detailed report on your mission from you and the other Jedi eventually, but we'll contact you later about that."

Kenna nodded slightly as a farewell and headed off to find Carth.

* * *

Okay, so this chapter was a little bit more diffcult, with the extra characters and all, and I hope the whole thing with Kenna talking to the Council makes sense and seems plausible. It's the best I could do. ;)


	21. Wait and See

Carth leaned back against the wall of the Temple as he waited for Kenna. He hoped the Council wasn't too hard on her. She'd gone through enough recently without having to fight people who were supposed to be on the same side. _So where are you going after you leave here?_ The question popped in his mind without warning. _I don't know, that depends on where I'm told to go. I'm still a soldier. Nothing changed that, and Kenna knows it. We have to wait and see._ He wanted to marry her as soon as possible, but beyond that they would have to take things as they came. That was part of life in the military. He had a feeling Kenna would adjust to it much better than Mori had.

"There you are." Kenna ducked through the barely open doorway. "Trying to hide?"

"Not from you. You're the one that suggested the Temple," he pointed out.

"True. I'm surprised no one saw you come in, considering you're second only to me in popularity. I think I'm coming around to your view of a hero's welcome."

"Hit the point where you want to scream at them to leave you alone?" He couldn't restrain a chuckle as he asked, considering her earlier attitude.

"Either that or use the Force to wipe their minds so they forget who I am," Kenna muttered. "C'mon."

"So, what happened to only Force-users being allowed in here?" Carth teased as they made their way to the roof.

"I guess there's no need for the restriction now that the Star Forge is destroyed." Kenna shrugged. "All I really care about is hiding away from the suffocating, adoring crowds. And letting you finish that back rub," she amended with a wicked grin, rolling her shoulders. "My...meeting, or whatever you want to call it, with the Council has me all tense again."

"Fine by me. So, how'd it go? Or do I not want to know?" he asked as they reached the Temple roof.

"Actually, it went surprisingly well, considering. Vrook was his normal grumpy self, and one of the new Masters is a lot like him, but there_ was_ someone sympathetic, so it wasn't entirely the uphill battle I was anticipating. They didn't even mention _us_ until the end. Vrook said something came out in his conversation with Bastila. I'm going to try to wait and see her side of the story before I hurt her." Kenna smiled wryly.

"Generous of you."

"Maybe she let it slip without meaning to, or he asked her and she wouldn't lie. As long as she didn't volunteer it I won't be _too_ mad at her."

"Sounds like a plan. Now come here." Carth sat down with his back against the wall and tugged her down with him. She willingly obliged.

"So, what're we doing with ourselves, after I marry you?" Kenna asked, leaning back slightly as his hands massaged the kinks out of her too-tense muscles. "Oh, Force, that feels _good_. You're not allowed to stop."

"I'll have to eventually, love." The previously unused endearment slipped out unintentionally, however true it may have been, and made both of them blush. "To, ah, answer your question of what we're doing, we'll have to see where the Fleet Admiral tells me to go. I'm still a soldier. Nothing's going to change that."

"I love that about you. Your loyalty, I mean." Kenna looked back over her shoulder to smile at him.

"Everybody's loyal to something, Kenna. Or someone. Even mercs." Carth shrugged. "They're loyal to money, or themselves, or their family, or whatever. I've just chosen to be loyal to the Republic. And you."

"Well, that's comforting. Nice to know you trust me," she teased.

Carth stopped rubbing her back. "You like being tense?"

"No, I'm sorry. Please continue," Kenna laughed. "I just couldn't resist. Hard as it was to get you to trust me, you know I'm going to tease you a _little_."

"Yeah, I know, beautiful. Just don't overdo it. And I think you dodged part of my question," he pointed out as he resumed.

"Huh? Oh, right, how things went. I got off on that tangent about Bastila. Well, long and short of it, we're just not going to broadcast our relationship. Not exactly hiding it, but not volunteering anything either. If the Republic is ever in enough danger they need my help, I'm available. But no lightsaber or Force use in public. Just a normal citizen of wherever we end up until they need me."

"Sort of like reserve duty, in other words."

"Yeah, I guess so." Kenna shrugged. "It was that or cave to Vrook's demand I give you up. I wasn't about to do _that. _I love you too much."

"Thanks. I love you, too." He squeezed her shoulder slightly. "Always will."

"I know. Same here." Relaxed as she'd been in a long time, nothing left to worry about, Kenna shifted position so she was sitting sideways on Carth's lap and leaned her head against his chest. "Thanks for the back rub. I'll return the favor someday. Soon," she promised.

Carth rested his chin on top of her head. "I'll hold you to that." He wrapped his arms around her and held her close as they sat in silence for a long while.

They stayed on the roof long enough to watch the beginning of the sunset streak the sky with a myriad of colors before reluctantly arriving at the decision they needed to get back out with everybody else before Admiral Dodonna arranged search parties.

"I almost forgot to ask," Kenna started hesitantly as they reached the door. "What're you going to do about Dustil?"

Carth sighed. "I'm not sure," he admitted. "I really do want to patch things up with him if I can. But he's so angry, and so..."

"Much like you?" Kenna offered when he let the sentence trail off unfinished.

"He is an awful lot like me, isn't he?" He smiled wryly and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Stubborn streak and all," she agreed with a grin.

"You know, you don't have to agree to _everything_, beautiful."

"I know. But, now that you've so neatly avoided answering, allow me to ask again: What're you going to do about Dustil?"

"I'll probably meet him on Telos once we have everything else worked out. But like I said, I'm not sure. Have to wait and see."

"That's good enough for now. We really don't know what's going to happen, so it's probably better to not promise anything beyond sticking to each other like shadows."

"Exactly." Carth wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

* * *

Upon exiting the Temple, they found that most of the soldiers had already cleared off.

"I want to see if I can find Bastila. I need to talk to her." Kenna squeezed Carth's hand before letting go. "Why don't you see if you can round everyone else up so we can figure out what we're doing?"

"Yes, ma'am," he teased. "Already giving orders?"

"Of course." Kenna grinned at him sweetly and took off in the direction where she had last seen Bastila. Carth chuckled, shook his head, and went in search of all the others.

* * *

Kenna found Bastila just finishing a conversation with one of the few remaining soldiers. "Hey, Bastila? Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course." Bastila turned from the young soldier to her friend. "What do you need?"

"I'm just curious about something." Kenna took a deep breath. "When the Council...talked to me about my plans now that Malak's dead, Vrook tried to ferret out my relationship with Carth, and said something came up in his conversation with you. So I'm just curious what exactly came up."

The younger woman sighed. "I did not mean to say anything to alert him about you and Carth. I figured it was your place to tell them about that. I accidentally let something slip that made Vrook suspicious, and he inquired further. I could not lie to him, Kenna. Not a member of the Council, a fellow Jedi."

"It's all right," Kenna reassured her. "I just wanted to know. I was a little angry at first, but then I realized it had probably been something that slipped."

"So, what did the Council decide? "

"I'm essentially going to... disguise the fact that I'm a Jedi, I guess is the best way to explain it," Kenna replied as they began walking back to rejoin everyone else. "Carth described it as reserve duty, because I'm not broadcasting what I am, but if they need me, I told them I'm available. What about you? What punishment does Vrook have in store for you?"

"I'm to remain at the Temple for almost a full year, and even after that can only go on missions if accompanied by a Master. They are afraid I might fall again." Bastila looked completely crestfallen. "I suppose I deserve it, but with the large number of Masters that were killed on Dantooine, I don't know when I'll be able to go anywhere."

"I'm sorry," Kenna sympathized as they started walking back to meet up with Carth and the others.

"I brought it on myself." Bastila shrugged. "I should not have been so weak, fallen so easily. They are right to be so cautious."

"I know. But still, I can't help but feel that they're being too harsh. You are truly sorry, and I believe that you won't fall again."

Bastila snorted. "I wish I had your confidence in my abilities. I'm not entirely sure I'm as strong as you believe me to be."

"Well, I'm sure being surrounded by all those Masters will help you strengthen your belief in the light."

"You know, at times I envy you," Bastila confessed with a small chuckle.

"Why?" Kenna frowned.

"Well, you make it seem so easy. Staying true to the light, I mean. I knew through our whole journey exactly who you were, but I had to keep reminding myself that you had been the Dark Lord of the Sith. You were so good at being kind, and well..."

"Good?" Kenna finished for her. "It wasn't always easy, and it wasn't always because I was trying to stay true to the light."

"How else did you manage to resist all the times you were offered the chance to overthrow Malak and regain your title?" Bastila frowned in confusion.

"I already told you. Carth. Knowing he believed in me, loves me, does more than any age-old mantra ever could for my resolve."

Bastila was silent for a moment, and Kenna felt her probing the bond the two of them shared. "Oh, my." The words were spoken so softly Kenna barely heard the undertone of shock. "I had no idea your feelings were so strong..."

"I told you it would kill me to lose him. Did you think I was exaggerating?" It was Kenna's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"Well, yes. You have to remember, I lived among the Jedi my whole life, Kenna. I never knew anyone who felt so deeply that losing the one they loved would kill them. Are you sure it's wise to love so deeply? If an enemy learns about the way you feel, that would be an ideal weakness to exploit. After all, for all his skill, Carth is only a soldier. There are...ways to render combat skills inconsequential."

Kenna felt a cold chill creep into her gut, matching the one she'd felt when Jolee warned her about the same thing, though on a smaller scale. "I could get him killed."

"That is a risk." Bastila was prevented from saying more as they met up with the others, and Kenna's attention was drawn to helping Carth keep Mission from flying at Canderous. Apparently the Mandalorian had made one too many derogatory comments about the Twi'lek's pazaak skills.

Mission was in mid-rant when Kenna grabbed her arm. "You ever say any of that stuff 'bout me again, and I'll--I'll--"

"You'll what, _kid_?" Canderous taunted.

"Lemme go!" Mission shrieked, yanking away from Kenna. "That does it!!" Carth dodged one blue elbow and somehow managed to hold on to the furious teenager until Kenna caught her arm again--firmly this time.

"Mission, what's going on?" Bastila demanded.

"I don't hafta tell you!" Mission hollered. "Just lemme go! You two ain't my parents!' She glared at Carth and Kenna.

"C'mon, Mish, what did he say?" Kenna asked.

Fury still simmering in her eyes, Mission calmed down enough to explain her rage. "He beat me at pazaak again, and then said he's seen blind Gamorreans that play better than me!"

"Mission, you know he's just trying to rile you," Kenna pointed out. "You're proving his point that you're a kid."

"It worked, and I don't care. Now can I kill him?" Mission demanded.

"I'd like to see you try, kid," Canderous snorted. This time Bastila had to help Carth and Kenna hold back the enraged Twi'lek. _Hope Big Z doesn't decide to kill him for her..._ Kenna knew they wouldn't be able to hold the Wookiee back if he decided to do Mission a favor involving the Mandalorian and a serious beating.

"Mission, let it go," Kenna ordered, tightening her grip as the teenager nearly broke free. "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Canderous, I'd like to get off the planet without any casualties. So, if you could behave yourself, that would be a huge help."

"I can handle one scrawny Twi'lek kid," the mercenary scoffed.

"_SCRAWNY_?!?!?!?!" Mission shrieked. "Let me kill him, Kenna, please???"

"I'm about to," Kenna muttered. "Canderous, shut up. We'll work this out on the _Hawk._"

"Sure." Canderous turned and headed for the path that led to the beach. Kenna could have sworn she heard him chuckle as he passed her.

"Mission, calm down. We'll work this out. Maybe I'll even let you go at him," Kenna said as she, Bastila, and Carth warily let go of the girl.

"Oh, don't worry, I don't wanna kill him anymore." Mission grinned in a fiendish way that had Kenna more nervous than if she had still been muttering death threats, but she pretended she didn't see it as the rest of them followed Canderous for the ship.

* * *

"Mission looks like she's planning something," Carth commented as he wrapped one arm around Kenna's shoulders.

"She sure does. We'll wait and see what she does, but I think Canderous is the only one who should be worried about that. Ticking off a prankster like her is never a good idea," Kenna replied as her arm snaked around his waist.

"Very true. I think I'll lock myself in the cockpit until her vengeance has run its course."

"Want company?" Kenna purred, shooting him a seductive look.

"Tempting, but I need to be able to concentrate on flying, don't you think? You're very distracting," Carth admitted, kissing the top of her head.

"Well, then, I'll make sure I don't distract you...too much," Kenna chuckled, squeezing slightly. They reached the bottom of the path and the _Ebon Hawk_ came into view.

"Thanks for that, beautiful," Carth replied, a grin spreading across his face as they strode across the sand. "Now, I need to fulfill a promise."

"Oh, really?" Kenna eyed him suspiciously. "And what promise would that be?"

"I seem to remember telling you that if you played the 'for me' card one more time I would throw you in the ocean when we headed back to the _Hawk_. I think I need to make good on that," Carth teased, scooping her up.

"Carth Onasi, put me down!" Kenna was laughing too hard to do much struggling, but she made at least a token protest as he headed for the water.

"No way, beautiful. You said one of your favorite things about me is that I keep my promises." Carth laughed at the look on her face. "Gotcha there, love." Kenna sighed in exasperation and stopped struggling. Carth reached the edge of the water and tossed her in.

She hooked one hand in the shoulder joint of his armor as she went airborne and pulled him in with her, almost on top of her. They surfaced at the same time, both spitting out salt water and rubbing their eyes. "Gotcha, love," Kenna teased, pushing a wave of water in Carth's direction. He shook water out of his hair and glared at her, barely holding back a laugh to rival the one that had Mission rolling on the beach.

"Nice going, you little minx." He pulled her over like he was going to kiss her, then ducked her back under the water and headed for the beach, laughing as Kenna popped back up sputtering and cursing.

"CARTH!" She sighed in exasperation and used the Force to yank him back, then darted for the beach.

"That's misuse of power!" he complained, laughing, when he resurfaced. "_And_ cheating. Jedi are supposed to play fair." He stood up and tried to glare at her, but couldn't keep a grin from peeking through.

"What're you gonna do? Spank me?" Kenna teased from her spot on the beach, throwing back her head and laughing at his expression.

"Anyone ever tell you how stupid it is to tick off your pilot?" he threatened as he headed for the beach.

"You callin' me stupid?"

"You two are actin' like kids," Mission pointed out.

"Look who's talking," Kenna retorted. "Didn't you want to kill Canderous just a few minutes ago?"

"Well, yeah, but--EW!" Mission interrupted her defense to make a face as Carth reached Kenna and pulled her into a kiss. "I think I'm gonna throw up. Would you puh-lease get a room?"

Kenna pulled back for a second. "Then don't watch," she admonished, wrapping her arms around Carth's neck and kissing him back.

"It _is _rather nauseating," Bastila sympathized in an undertone as she and Mission headed up the boarding ramp.

"I know! At least you haven't had to put up with it as long as I have. They've been doin' this for a while now," Mission commented.

* * *

"Well, I guess we need to get going. We take too much longer, we'll never hear the end of it," Kenna said, reluctantly pulling back.

"You're right. And I need to get out of this armor. It was bad enough dry. Soaking wet it's nearly unbearable."

"Then, shall we?" Kenna nodded in the direction of the ship.

"I suppose so. Though if Canderous makes so much as one comment, I'll _help_ Mission with whatever she's planning." Carth stole one last kiss before they headed up the ramp.

* * *

_Okay, this was entirely too fun to write. =) I will love you to pieces if you review, as always, but thanks for at least reading_

_~EmiOnasi_


	22. Revenge of the Twi'lek

Kenna dug through the footlocker at the base of her bed for her spare set of robes. "I know they're in here somewhere." She shuddered as a draft kissed her bare shoulders.

* * *

_"Master Revan?" The soldier paused in the doorway of Revan's chamber, standing at attention as he waited for her to reply._

_"What is it?" Revan pulled on her black robe, hooking the fasteners with barely a glance in his direction._

_"One of the assassins, he, uhm, seems to think he could lead the squad better than his commander."_

_"Does he mean me, or just his immediate commander?" One black eyebrow arched skyward._

_"His immediate superior. You're the only one who will be able to resolve it. They won't listen to anyone else." He tried not to watch as she pulled on the shaped leather chestplate. Malak regularly threatened to kill anyone caught ogling the Dark Lord. Of course, Malak was away right now, but Revan was more than capable of killing him if she wanted to._

_Revan sighed. "Very well. Whoever this assassin is, he had better have a damn good reason for an interruption like this right before a mission." She swept off in the direction of the barracks. "Which room?"_

_"38-C." The soldier followed close behind her._

_When they reached the barracks room in question, Revan ignored the two men in the middle of the room and instead questioned a low-level soldier standing by the door. "What's going on?"_

_The soldier came to attention. "Rand thinks he can lead the squad better than Delan. They're about to come to blows. Ma'am." He swallowed hard, obviously hoping his near-breach of protocol wouldn't get him killed. Fortunately for him, Revan was more concerned with the two men in the center of the room now. Rand and Delan stood toe to toe, glaring at each other._

_"Separate!" she ordered. They flew apart as if propelled by the Force, still glaring daggers at each other. "What is the trouble here? What's your name?" Revan demanded of the younger man, whose hate-filled brown eyes left the older, ice-eyed target of his disgust when the Dark Lord addressed him._

_"Rand. Lieutenant Jaq Rand, ma'am."_

_"What's your trouble with Commander Delan, Lieutenant?" Revan probed, crossing her arms._

_"Aside from the fact he leads like a blind bantha? And is about as stealthy as one too?" Rand snorted. "He doesn't know what in hell he's doing. I could do a better job leading than he did last mission. It was a disaster."_

_"You core-slime!" the commander spat, looking ready to rip the younger man's head off. "That was your fault!"_

_"I'll handle this, Delan," Revan barked, holding out one hand toward the man. She turned back to Rand. "You think you could lead better than Delan? Prove it. Take his command from him, if you can. The one who deserves it, gets it."_

_"Now?" There was only eager anticipation in the bloodthirsty gaze fixed on the current commander. No apprehension. No fear. He had been waiting for this._

He has promise_, Revan told herself with a smirk as she stepped aside. "Now." _

_The two men flew at each other, both more than ready to kill the other given the slightest opportunity. Delan was older, a hardened war veteran. His ice blue eyes were even colder with fury at the moment, his hard muscles tensing as he twisted the younger man around to land on his back. Rand was in his twenties, a soldier who had become disgusted with the Republic at the end of the Mandalorian Wars and gladly joined the Sith. He was half a head shorter than Delan, but more than held his own, using both his own considerable strength, earned through experience and not just repetitive exercises, Revan noticed, and his opponent's momentum to throw Delan against the wall. Delan let out a quiet hiss of rage and pain before flying back at Rand. The two slammed into the far wall together. Delan's fist connected--hard--with Rand's jaw. His only reaction was to yank a vibrodagger out of one boot. Delan dodged two wild swipes from his opponent's weapon and blocked a third with one arm, the dagger shearing through his skin and leaving a blood trail trickling down his arm. He ignored it and threw another punch at Rand, who dodged easily._

_Revan noticed it before anyone besides Rand. Delan was slowing down, becoming uncoordinated. She smirked. _He _does_ have promise, _she thought as she watch the now former commander of her top assassin squad succumb to the potent kinrath poison that had coated the dagger's blade._

_"Six seconds. He's tough," Rand commented, watching Delan die with arms crossed and an smirk of grim amusement on his face. "Most people it takes all of three to start working." Delan glared at him and choked out one last garbled burst of vitriol._

_Revan's yellow eyes gleamed with approval. "Well, I'll leave you to your squad. Commander. Remember you have a mission tomorrow."_

_"Yes, ma'am." Rand saluted. Revan chuckled as she left the room. He had promise indeed. _

* * *

Kenna blinked as the scene faded away. _Where the hell did that come from?_ She frowned. She didn't want to remember being Revan. That part of her was dead. She didn't need to be remembering it. She finally found the robes crumpled on the bottom of the footlocker. They were so wrinkled she decided to forgo all but the lightweight, short sleeved black tunic and tan pants. If the floors of the _Hawk_ weren't so cold, she would have gone barefoot as well. After pulling on her extra boots, which weren't nearly as comfortable as the ones that had gotten soaked, she headed for the cockpit. She debated whether or not to tell Carth about her... flashback, for lack of a better term. She didn't want to hide anything from him; that was no way to build trust, but it wasn't really all that important. They didn't know anyone who looked even remotely like Rand. She didn't even know why she'd seen what she did.

Kenna sighed. _Why does everything have to be so complicated? We defeated Malak, can't things get simple?_ That was apparently too much to ask of the galaxy. She walked up behind Carth and wrapped her arms loosely around his neck. "How did I know you would put that thing back on?" He was wearing his flight jacket. The _orange_ flight jacket.

"What's wrong with this flight jacket?" he protested, turning to look at her.

"Oh, nothing. I think it looks good on you. You're just so damn cute when you get defensive." She chuckled.

"You-- never mind. I think you owe me a kiss for that."

"Nope. You tossed me in the ocean."

"You pulled me in with you! We're already even on that score."

"Mm, true. Well, alright, I guess you can have a kiss." She leaned down slightly and kissed him. "You still taste like salt."

"So do you. Now let me fly." Carth turned his attention back to the controls. Kenna stayed right where she was. A few seconds of comfortable quiet later, she chuckled quietly. "What?" Carth demanded suspiciously.

"Oh, nothing," Kenna replied sweetly. "I just see gray hair. You're showing your age, _Captain_."

"No, those are from being around you," he teased. "Thirty-eight is _not_ old. You just have this nasty habit of going into dangerous situations, alone, and I like to worry about you."

"Sure." Her tone said she didn't totally believe him.

"And stop it with the 'Captain' thing, would you? Please?"

"It really bugs you that much?"

"Yeah. I get enough of that formal stuff around other soldiers. I don't need it with you."

"Well, then, I'll stop. Sorry. Shall we kiss and make up?" She grinned mischievously.

"I wasn't aware we needed to make up, but if you insist."

"I do. I can make it an order, if you want."

"No, that's not necessary." He reached back with one hand to cup her face as he kissed her.

"So, where are we heading? Did everyone actually manage to agree on a destination?"

"No, they didn't. I think Mission would disagree with Canderous right now just to spite him. I'm just going to head for Coruscant. Anyone who doesn't want to--or have to--stay there can go wherever they like from there." Carth turned his attention back to the controls again.

Kenna nodded. "Good idea."

"'Course it is," Carth teased. Kenna rolled her eyes and slapped the back of his head playfully. "Ow."

"That _really_ sounded like you meant it." Sarcasm all but dripped off her words.

"That's 'cause I didn't. I know you could hurt me if you wanted to, " he amended, as if he sensed her preparing to do just that. "Just that one didn't."

"Nice save, flyboy." Kenna chuckled, flashback forgotten.

* * *

Mission's vengeance didn't manifest itself until they were half a galaxy away from Rakata Prime. Being in the cockpit, the first Kenna and Carth knew of it was when Canderous turned the air dark blue with hollered Mandalorian curses. The two of them looked at each other knowingly.

"Mission," they said at the same time. Carth punched on the autopilot and they went to investigate. When they reached the garage, Kenna couldn't help but smirk at Mission's pleased expression, even as she attempted to act serious and demanded to know what had happened.

"Oh, nothing," Mission replied casually, smiling innocently at the raging Mandalorian, who Bastila was keeping back with the Force.

"Nothing?!?!?" Canderous roared, scowling at her. "Cut that out, Princess," he growled at Bastila.

"No."

"Well, if it wasn't nothing, then what was it?" Kenna crossed her arms and looked expectantly at the mercenary.

"I'm not telling you until she cuts that out," he snarled, jerking his thumb at Bastila.

"Bastila, you can stop now." The last thing she wanted on her ship was an angry Mandalorian. Bastila nodded and lowered her hand. "Now, is someone going to explain this to me?"

Mission grinned cheekily. "I got him back."

"I can tell. What, exactly, did you do?" One eyebrow arched.

"I appealed to the ego all Mandalorians have, and then got him with this." The teenager held out her hand. Kenna examined the small, box-like object. It looked almost like a pazaak deck, only solid.

"I give up. What is it?" Carth asked, beating her to her next question almost word for word.

"Shock deck," Mission explained. "It _looks_ like a pazaak deck--if you don't look at it too closely. I challenged him to another game of pazaak, and offered to let him draw first. You touch the edge of the cards, it gives you a pretty good shock. Wanna see?" She extended it toward Kenna, smiling impishly.

"No, thanks. I'll take your word for it." She had to admit, that _was_ a good idea for revenge. Especially for Mission to use on Canderous, because the mercenary was still sore about her beating him on the Star Forge.

Mission shrugged. " 'Kay. Suit yourself. Now we're even. I'll behave myself."

"Canderous?" Kenna turned to the Mandalorian.

"I'll count us even," he conceded grudgingly. "Just get us somewhere I can go my own way."

"Happy to," Carth muttered under his breath as he and Kenna headed back to the cockpit. ""Y'know, beautiful, having him around is like traveling with a time bomb. Mission or Bastila's going to set him off sooner or later. Probably Mission, because that's been building longer."

"I know, flyboy. The faster you and the _Hawk_ can get us to Coruscant, the better. Before someone kills someone."


	23. I Was Afraid of That

Bastila and Jolee's fears were validated just over a month after leaving Rakata Prime. When the_ Ebon Hawk_ landed on Coruscant, Bastila, Jolee, and Juhani went to the Jedi Temple, and Canderous took off to see if he could reunite the Mandalorian clans. After Carth and Kenna's wedding.

"I'm stayin' for Revan, not you, Republic," he snarled when Carth gave him a questioning look. Carth sighed and didn't bother to correct the man--again. Revan was the side of Kenna Canderous was happier with, so he would probably always call her that.

It wasn't a fancy wedding. Kenna shuddered at the thought of 'fancy', despite Bastila's pleas. Plain but beautiful, that was all she wanted. _Just like you_, Carth couldn't help thinking. Only the crew of the _Ebon Hawk_ was there. Try as he might, Carth couldn't find where Dustil had gone to. So they went ahead without him.

That was the most blissful day, and night, of both their lives. There were no words, in any of the multiple languages Kenna spoke, to describe her heart-about-to-burst happiness. So neither of them tried.

Two days after returning from their--much too short--honeymoon, Carth got a message from his son. _I'm on Citadel Station, if you want to talk._ That was it.

"Well, I guess I should be grateful he kept his word. And that I get a second chance with him. I just wish he would have surfaced in time to come."

"Me too," Kenna agreed, plopping herself down in his lap. "Do you want me to come with you? Or is this something you need to handle alone?" She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head against his.

Carth ran one hand through his hair. "I..." He sighed. "I don't know. Could you come to Telos, and we'll see when we get there?"

Kenna nodded. "Sure. Mission mentioned something about looking for a friend on Telos, someone she knew on Taris. Big Z and I could help her with that while you meet with Dustil, if you want. Or I can come with you and just Big Z could help her."

"Like I said, can we decide when we get there?"

"Of course." Kenna kissed his temple. "Whatever makes you happy."

"I like the sound of that," Carth said with a grin.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Plans were changed before they touched down on Citadel Station. The _Ebon Hawk_'s engines had started making not-quite-right noises. Kenna opted to stay on the ship and see if she could ferret out the problem. "I might not be able to fly her as well as you yet, but I can fix her. And you need to meet with Dustil. I'll be fine," she assured Carth. "Besides, you know I can take care of myself."

"And _you_ know I like to worry," he returned, kissing her forehead. "Unless you forgot already."

"No, memory issues are a thing of the past. I think." Kenna laughed at the unintentional humor in that statement.

"Okay. See you later, baby. Love you."

"Love you, too, hon." Kenna watched them leave, surprised Mission hadn't made some comment about the mushiness being too much for her. _Maybe she learned to deal with it,_ Kenna reasoned with herself as she stripped off her outer tunic and pulled open the engine compartment.

Carth split off from Mission and Big Z as they neared the cantina, surprised at the lack of traffic. He would have through the cantina would be more popular. Mission and Zaalbar decided to go talk to the TSF and see if they knew anything about her friend, Tellan.

"Be careful," he warned her.

"How many times do I gotta tell you I ain't a kid? 'Sides, I got Big Z. Nobody's gonna mess with a Wookiee. You're the one meeting one on one with an ex-Sith who's still kinda mad at you," she shot back, shrugging off the potential danger.

"I know, I know. I'm just--"

"Paranoid," Mission finished for him with a grin. "I believe 'paranoid' is the word you're lookin' for."

"Go," he laughed, pointing in the general direction of the TSF office before heading inside the cantina. _And I _married_ an ex-Sith, missy._ Carth took a deep breath as he scanned the room for Dustil. He was incredibly nervous about this. Part of him wished Kenna was there, the other part was glad she wasn't; if things started getting ugly she didn't need to be in the middle of that. He spotted Dustil and headed for his son's table. _Here we go._

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

Kenna was halfway buried in the engine compartment, cursing some particularly stubborn gears, when the comlink burst to life. "Kenna, pick up!" Kenna slid out of the engine and reached for the grease rag to wipe her hands off before she picked it up, still grumbling. "KENNA?" It was Mission, and something in her voice scared Kenna.

She snatched up the comlink, repair issues forgotten. "What wrong, Mission?"

"I-I'm s-sorry, Kenna! I couldn't d-do anything!" Mission babbled, choking on hiccup-inducing sobs. "I--"

"Mission, calm down." Kenna ignored her own suddenly racing pulse. "Calm down. What happened?"

An explanation tumbled out of the Twi'lek, but all Kenna caught was, "Sith assassins... ambush...Carth...hurt pretty bad." It was all she needed to hear, as Bastila and Jolee's warnings welled up in her ears. "_If one of the dark Jedi senses the feelings between you…_ _F__or all his skill, Carth is only a soldier. There are ways to render combat skills inconsequential."_ Her pounding heart almost drowned out the echo of what she'd concluded after each of those conversations: _"I could get him killed."_

"Oh, Force, please, no!!!!" she begged aloud. "Don't take him from me now!" She swallowed her fear and squeezed the comlink. "Where are you, Mish?"

"Medical center, residential module 083." Kenna dropped the comlink to the floor grates and bolted for the boarding ramp.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

"Ow! Watch it!" The protest floating out from the back room was music to Kenna's ears. If he could gripe, he would be fine. She headed for the door way.

"They aren't letting anyone back there," a voice said from behind her. "I'd wager they'll be especially reluctant to let a half-dressed mechanic in." Kenna first looked instinctively at her clothes--she _did_ look like a mechanic, and _had_ barreled down to the med center in just her undertunic and old flight pants--before whirling to look at the man who had spoken.

"Even if I'm family?" she demanded.

"Family?" There was a raised eyebrow in the young man's voice even though his face remained expressionless. "You?"

_Oh, Force_. Kenna wanted to slap herself, or disappear, as she realized who it was. "Dustil?"

He scowled. "How do you know my name?"

Kenna sighed and scrubbed off some of the engine grease smeared across her face. "Pretend I'm wearing Jedi robes, instead of looking like a mechanic." His frown deepened, then both eyebrows arched upward.

"Revan?" He sounded unsure, even though he obviously recognized her. She nodded. "Wait, he _married_ you?"

"It's _Kenna_, and yes, he did. About three weeks ago." Kenna crossed her arms and stuck out one hip. She knew arguing with her--gulp--stepson was _not_ the best way to start off, but she couldn't stop herself.

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"Did you give him a chance?" She tried to keep her voice level, tried to embody peace, like a 'good Jedi'. An accusatory tremble slipped in anyway. "Or did you just tear into him like you did on Korriban?"

"He deserved that," Dustil protested. He sighed, raked his hand through his hair in an all-too-familiar motion, and closed his eyes for a second. "I'm sorry. I'd had a lifetime of watching my mother pace and worry, and listening to them argue about how much he was gone, and wondering why my father was never home, capped off by four years of training that I should nurture my anger and use it as a weapon. He _did_ need to hear a lot of what I said, but...I guess I-I could have said it different." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

Grateful _one _of them had defused the situation, Kenna joined him leaning against the wall. "What happened?"

"Well, I didn't see _everything_..."

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_"C'mon, Big Z. Let's head back to the ship. Maybe we can help Kenna or somethin'." Mission's shoulders drooped as she and the Wookiee left the TSF office. There had been no record of anybody named Tellan, or even many refugees from Taris. She knew he may have used a different name, but since she didn't know what that may have been, it didn't matter. As they rounded the corner to pass the cantina, it suddenly dawned on her that there was no one else in the hallway. No one. There had been only a few earlier, but not this total lack of people. This felt wrong. Mission felt goosebumps prickle on the back of her neck, and spun around. _

_A man and a woman, clad in head-to-toe black stood in an alcove Mission would have sworn was empty when she passed it._

_"What do you want?" she demanded, fighting down fear and wishing desperately she hadn't left her vibroblade on the _Hawk_. She heard Big Z growl behind her._

_"That one sounds dangerous," the man commented, nodding at the Wookiee._

_"He'll tear your arms off if you touch me," Mission warned._

_"No, he won't," the woman replied. She pulled out a blaster and shot him._

_"NO!" The scream tore from Mission as she flew recklessly towards the space slime who had just shot her best friend. The man just pushed his hand toward her and sent the Twi'lek flying backward. _Sith,_ she realized as she crashed into a wall. She struggled to her feet as several of the cantina's patrons stepped out to see what was going on._

_"Mission?" Carth grabbed her arm as she almost tumbled back over, head still spinning. "What happened?" A blaster bolt from the woman's pistol slammed into the wall behind them, and Carth's own blaster was out and recoiling from his return shot before Mission had a chance to say anything. "Never mind." Carth smiled grimly when he saw the woman was dead._

_"She shot Big Z."_

_"She attacked you alone?"_

_"No, there's--" Mission's jaw dropped. The man was gone. Figuring it was a minor disturbance, the rest of the patrons returned to the cantina, and their drinks. This felt even more wrong than before. "Carth, there was ano--" Mission's warning was interrupted as the man reappeared and sent them both flying back into a wall. Mission crumbled to the ground, and Carth reached for his blaster. _

_The assassin kicked it father away, pulling out his vibroblade. "Hey, Hero. I'll tell your pretty Jedi friend you helped me earn my lightsaber." A mix of pain and rage as the blade sliced into his flesh gave way to numbing, welcome darkness._

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"They would probably both be dead, except I started wondering what was taking Father so long to come back in to the cantina. Went back out there, saw the assassin, and shot him in the head," Dustil finished, shrugging when Kenna shot him a respectful look. "He was distracted. Not like it was a hard shot."

"So, why didn't the TSF come running at the sound of blaster fire when the assassin shot Big Z? The cantina's right near the office." That was the only thing about his story that confused Kenna.

"The assassins sabotaged the door controls. It wouldn't open." Dustil frowned. "I want to know how they planned all of this out."

"You and me both," Kenna agreed. "Carth only got your message about a week ago, and we came straight here. But, I've learned not to underestimate them. It wouldn't surprise me if they knew about your message before Carth and I did. Oh, where's Mission? Is she okay?"

"Far as I know. Probably has a record breaking headache and some bruises, but she seemed alright. Physically, at least," he added under his breath as Kenna marched toward the door and respectfully demanded to see the Twi'lek.

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Kenna couldn't help but smile inwardly as the door guard let her in. _I didn't even have to use the Force._ She could feel Dustil's respectful gaze on her back as she made her way back to the room where the man said Mission was sitting. It looked almost like a morgue, and she shuddered involuntarily as she entered. "Mish?"

A sniffle was the only reply.

Kenna stepped further into the dimly lit room."Mish? Are you--"

"No! I'm _not_ okay!" Mission shrieked, accompanied by the sound of something metallic connecting with the wall. "My best friend in the whole damn galaxy's DEAD! How _can_ I be okay?"

_I was afraid of that._ Kenna groaned. She hadn't asked Dustil in the course of his story if the woman killed Big Z or just wounded him. Apparently it was the former. "Oh, Mission." She crossed the rest of the distance between her and the distraught Twi'lek and wrapped her arms around her friend. "I'm so sorry." Worried as she was about Carth, Mission needed her more right now, so Kenna held her tight and let her cry.

"He didn't even do anything!"

"She knew he would do something if they tried to hurt you. Sith don't play by the rules, Mish. Trust me, I know. She saw it as neutralizing a threat before it fully became a threat."

"She_ killed_ him!" Mission sobbed.

"Yes. She did," Kenna agreed quietly, fighting the urge to add 'sweetie' on the end. For all her talents and skills, Mission _was_ still a kid, but this was not the time to engage in one of those debates.

"I want him back," Mission whimpered, storm of sobs dying away faster than Kenna would have thought possible.

"I know," Kenna murmured, not adding the _'you can't'_ both of them knew was the simple answer to Mission's heartbroken plea.

"I wish we hadn't come. I wish we'd stayed on Coruscant, or gone to Kashyyyk, or somethin' else."

"You had no way of knowing this would happen," Kenna soothed, desperately begging the Force to give her the right words. "It's not your fault."

"Feels like it is," Mission muttered, wiping away the tears. "If he hadn't come with me--"

"Then _you_ would be dead, and Carth would be beating himself up for not doing something, and Big Z would be moping that he should have come because he could have protected you. I'm no stranger to feeling like what happened to someone else was my fault. Malak and Bastila's turning to the dark side, any time Carth almost got killed, I had to fight that off. While it's okay for you to grieve Big Z's death, don't blame yourself. Alright?" Kenna tilted Mission's face toward her.

The teenager nodded. "Okay. Could...could I be alone?"

"Sure, Mish." Kenna let go. "I should probably make sure Carth's behaving himself, anyway."

"He saved my life, y'know. Those Sith were gonna kill me."

Kenna nodded. "I know. And then Dustil saved both of you."

"Yeah. Maybe he's not as ticked at Carth as I thought."

"Well, you never know." Kenna stood. "But I'll leave you alone for now. I'll let you know when we're leaving."

"'Kay." Mission hugged her knees into her chest as Kenna left the room.

_One down, one to go_, Kenna thought, running one hand through her hair as she went in search of Carth. The volume with which he was informing the med tech to just leave him alone helped a lot. Kenna shook her head and sighed. _I was afraid of that. Behave yourself, Carth Onasi._ She found the room and leaned against the doorframe. "So, is almost getting yourself killed going to become a habit?"

"Maybe." Carth looked like he was just about ready to explode. "Maybe next time I'll let them kill me. Would save credits on doctors' bills." He winced as the young med tech cleaned out one of the angry red gashes on his chest. "Ow."

"But I would miss you," Kenna pointed out. "Maybe just don't let 'em get you next time."

"Soldier versus Sith Assassin? Yeah, I can really see myself emerging unscathed from that, beautiful." The heavy dose of sarcasm was all the proof she needed that her husband was more than a little put out.

"I think you're selling yourself short." Kenna crossed the room and kissed him on the temple.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Kenna, but look what just one managed to do to me," he pointed out.

"Well, then, I'll just have to keep you prisoner in our house from now on, won't I?" she teased before turning to the med tech. "Did you check for poison? More than half the time, Sith poison their blades."

The young man nodded. "I checked, but nothing came up."

Kenna frowned as she looked at the two gashes. They came up clean, but the redness flaring around the edges... She gently brushed her fingertips against the longer of the two, and Carth flinched. "Check again, please. Normal vibroblade wounds shouldn't look like this."

"Yes, ma'am. I'll check." The tech left the room to run the test again.

"Think I'll live?" Carth leaned back to look up at her.

"Yep. You're stuck with me," Kenna teased. "Though if you ever scare me like that again, I may have to think of some way to punish you."

"Well, then, I'll do my level best to not get ambushed by invisible Sith ever again. The experience is not one I want to repeat," Carth replied with a wry chuckle. "Though my jacket got it worse than I did." He gestured to where the familiar orange garment lay draped over the hard chair in the corner. Kenna picked it up and looked at the two rending marks that corresponded with the gashes on Carth's chest.

"Oh, dear. Well, maybe I can fix it for you," she offered.

"You sew?" One eyebrow shot up in unison with the note of skepticism the crept into his tone.

"Not yet. But how hard can two straight lines be?"

"You're welcome to try. It's not like it can get any worse." Carth shrugged, then winced.

"Sorry I can't do anything to help with those," Kenna said apologetically, gesturing towards his wounds. "But here I'm just Mrs. Onasi, who--as far as they know--is an ordinary human being, not a Jedi. I can heal them once we're on our way, but not here."

"S'alright, sweetheart. You don't really look like a Jedi at the moment, anyway," he teased her.

Kenna rolled her eyes. "I was fixing an engine. You don't exactly do that in your good clothes."

"Mm-hm. How's Mission doing?"

"Better than I expected, but she's still taking it hard. I mean, Big Z was her best friend. She told me to tell you thanks for saving her life."

Carth scoffed. "Dustil deserves that more than I do. We'd still both be dead if it wasn't for him."

"Guess he doesn't hate you anymore. Did you two get much of a chance to talk?"

"We did. It's going to take more then one talk to work through everything, but it's a start. And maybe next time we won't get interrupted by an assassination attempt."

"Could he come back with us?" Kenna suggested. "I could fly the _Hawk_ so you could talk more."

"I don't know if I trust you _that_ much with her yet, beautiful."

Kenna huffed and glared at him, but his teasing grin eventually had her smiling, too. "You..."

"You what?" His grin widened. "C'mon, Kenna. You know I can take it."

"Let me see if I can think of one I haven't tried yet." Kenna pretended to think for a minute. "Nope. I've tried everything. Sorry. I know better than to try anything like that anyway."

"Coward," Carth ribbed.

"Coward yourself, hairless Wookiee," she shot back in spite of herself.

"I thought you knew better."

"I _do_." Kenna crossed her arms. "I just can't help myself sometimes. You have that effect on me." She grinned and leaned over for a kiss.

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Sorry it's taken so long to update! I was away for the weekend, and returned to find a storm had knocked out my power and I lost a bunch of stuff for Perceptions and Aftermath(which I should be updating soon as well) that I had to retype. Curse thunderstorms! Plus I had reading to do for school that I had to do before writing.... but anyway, here we go. Let me know if anything in here is too out there, or if I accidently used someone else's material. I don't think I did, but let me know if I'm wrong. Thanks as always to anyone still reading! There's more to come!


	24. Haunting Me

They returned to Coruscant as soon as Kenna finished fixing the _Ebon Hawk._ It took a while, mostly because she had to do it alone. With Big Z dead, Carth hurt, and Mission in no mood to do anything other then mope in a locked--and probably barricaded--bunkroom, help was not going to happen. She did the best she could, however, and had the _Hawk_ fixed in a couple of hours. She wearily plopped down in the copilot's chair when she finished. "Done. Let's get out of here."

"Yes, dear," Carth teased as he started up the ship's engines.

Kenna rolled her eyes. "I swear, I'd slap you up the back of your head--"

"If I wasn't hurt?" he finished for her.

"How do you do that?"

"Guess what you're going to say?" He shrugged, then winced. Kenna had 'helped the healing process' a little, but he was still sore. "I guess it's because I know you so well."

"That's more than a little bit flimsy," Kenna pointed out as the _Hawk_ soared free of the hanger bay. "Other people know me almost as well--like Mission--but you're the only one who seems to read my mind at times."

"Best I can come up with, especially on short notice." They both sat in silence for several minutes, watching the void outside the ship scream by in points of light and dark all swirled together.

"I wonder..." Kenna let the sentence trail off and shook her head as if deciding the thought was crazy.

"What, beautiful?" Carth looked over at her.

"How Mission's doing," she finished.

"You could check on her if you're worried," he pointed out, knowing that wasn't really what she had wanted to say.

"True." Kenna stood and headed down the hallway to the bunkroom that had become the teenager's refuge, what she had really wanted to say running through her mind: _I wonder if you're Force Sensitive._ While it _would _explain a lot, she couldn't quite bring herself to voice the possibility. To anyone. Even if it was one she had been considering and arguing with herself since they reached Manaan. She reached the bunkroom and knocked on the door. "Mission?"

"What?" the Twi'lek responded in a tone somewhere between a sob and a snarl.

"Can I get you anything?"

"No."

"You sure?" Kenna leaned against the wall.

"Yes." The reply was muffled, as if Mission had buried her head under the pillow.

"Okay then." Kenna shrugged and returned to the cockpit, collapsing back into the copilot's chair. "I'm worried about her."

"This isn't something she's going to rebound from overnight, Kenna. She saw her best friend get killed with absolutely no warning. That takes a while to get over, trust me."

"I know. I'm just worried about her."

"Am I actually rubbing off on you?" Carth teased.

"I hope not," she shot back, grinning. "Kidding. Yes, I do believe you are."

Their landing on Coruscant was later than planned. The hyperdrive conked out a couple hours before they were supposed to reach the planet, earning Kenna a raised eyebrow and teasing look from her husband.

"Don't you say one frackin' word," she growled, glaring at him. "It was _fixed_."

"Then what--"

"I don't know what happened!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "I hardly even touched the hyperdrive! I was mostly in the frackin' engine." Muttering and grumbling to herself, Kenna made a beeline for the room that housed the hyperdrive. It was filled with electrical smoke that set off a coughing fit. "Damn it, what now?" When the smoke cleared a little, she examined the smoldering heap that had been the hyperdrive. She frowned. It seemed to have just... exploded, with absolutely no reason showing itself. _Another assassination attempt? So close on the heels of the last one?_ Kenna shivered, feeling a deep-cutting chill despite the lingering heat from the explosion. She really might get Carth killed if this kept up. _No, it was a short circuit, or a malfunctioning part, or something. You're just paranoid because of what happened--and _almost_ happened--on Telos._ Her self-reassurance helped a little, and the admission she was being paranoid made her smile. Carth was rubbing off on her more than she would ever admit to him. Shaking her head in confusion, she returned to the cockpit.

"Well?" Carth swung around to look at her.

"I can't tell. I'll have to look at it after we land." However, their landing was so late, all she wanted to do at the moment was sleep. "I'll check it tomorrow."

Mission had apparently fallen asleep in her locked bunkroom, so Kenna had to use the Force to get the locked door open. Sure enough, the teenager was sprawled across one of the bunks, fast asleep. Much as she wished she didn't have to, Kenna shook her awake. "Mish? We're back on Coruscant. Time to get up."

"Huh?" Mission blinked at her groggily, still more than half asleep.

"Think you can wake up enough to walk to our place?"

Mission gave a disoriented nod. "Guess so." She followed Kenna and Carth without a word back to their place, where all three stumbled to bed and immediately dropped into the kind of sleep only brought on by a most complete and utter exhaustion.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_"Master, what are we doing here?"_

_It took every bit of willpower she possessed for Revan to not snap at the woman following her through the rain. "You'll see, Casaiah." There was silence from behind her as her companion detected the temper edging the short reply. The Dark Lord was not one to tolerate even a minor annoyance when she was in a foul mood. The combination of their guide's failure to show and the atrocious weather had put her in the foulest of foul moods. Casaiah's decision to remain silent the remainder of the journey was the wisest one in her young life. Upon reaching the cave, just over halfway up the slope they had been climbing, Revan slipped back the hood of her dark cloak and examined the walls. "Now, where was it... Ah, here we are." She pressed against a protruding rock ledge and a whole section of the wall sank in. _

_Casaiah watched her master with amazement for a moment before voicing the conundrum she had been puzzling the whole of their journey. "Master, why did you bring me?" She was among the lowest level of apprentices, a new recruit who had yet to advance despite obvious skill with the Force._

_"I need another person, just in case. You'll see what I mean."_

_"Why not Malak?"_

_"I don't trust him," Revan replied in the short tone she'd used before, the bite in her words an unspoken warning for the girl to shut up. _He's not expendable if it comes to that_. She pushed the concealed door out of the way and motioned for Casaiah to follow her."Don't dawdle." The two women followed the narrow tunnel to a chamber buried deep inside the mountain, Revan with a feeling of anticipation, Casaiah with one of dread. She knew she should be feeling pride that Revan had chosen her, of all people, to help with this mission. Revan, Supreme Ruler of the Sith, wanted, needed her help. She should be bursting with pride, considering how to word her answers to questions upon her return to make the others, Rand and Jelissa in particular, the most jealous. But she couldn't. Something felt wrong about this. She knew Revan didn't trust Malak, and with good reason. The man practically smoldered with rage and resentment whenever the Dark Lord entered the room. Still, why her?_

_As if sensing Casaiah's hesitation, Revan turned her head. "Hurry up!" Finally, the two reached their goal. Revan's yellow eyes lit with fiendish glee upon sighting the artifact she sought. It sat on a small pedestal toward the back of the room. "Go get it for me," she ordered Casaiah. The apprentice thought about asking why Revan couldn't get it herself, but you didn't question her. You obeyed, or you died. Simple as that. So Casaiah obeyed. She crossed the room cautiously, expecting to at any minute be snared in a cleverly hidden booby trap. She reached the pedestal and picked up the artifact gingerly. Nothing happened other then a sound like the exhalation of a massive set of lungs, as if the cave was breathing a sigh of relief that someone had claimed the evil treasure it had guarded for who knew how long. Breathing her own sigh of relief that she wasn't dead yet, Casaiah carried the artifact back to her master._

_"Give it to me!" Revan demanded, thrusting one hand toward the apprentice. All too happy to have this coveted thing out of her hands, Casaiah extended her hands toward the older woman. Just before Revan's fingers came in contact with the smooth porcelain object, Casaiah's boot caught in a snag. Her arms wind-milled instinctively in a vain attempt to keep her balance. She crashed to the unforgiving rock floor at the same moment as the artifact, and instantly wished she had shattered the same way it had. It would have been a quicker end than what she saw brewing in Revan's eyes._

_"I'm sorry!" The words jumped instinctively--and futilely--from her lips. She knew apologies were wasted. Groveling and begging for her life was wasted. She was going to die._

_"SORRY?" Revan thundered. That was all she said before stretching out her hands and engulfing the apprentice's body in electricity. She ignored the girl's screams. Reveled in the agony she was causing, despite mild regrets over killing her most promising recruit in almost a year. Failure was not tolerated, for any reason. Finally, long after Casaiah had fallen silent, ceased thrashing, Revan lowered her hands, raised the hood of her cloak, and headed back out into the torrential rain. "I'll make do without you, then."_

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Kenna woke up choking on sobs. "No, no, no, no, NO!" She caught her breath and threw an alarmed look at Carth. He was still asleep, thank the Force. The thought of having to explain _this_ to him made her shudder. She tried to calm herself down, but the screams of the apprentice she had so callously killed echoed in her ears and made that impossible. _Oh, Force, I did _not _need that._ She gave up on getting back to sleep and slipped out of bed as stealthily as possible. She pulled a lightweight robe over her undertunic and went out on the small balcony outside the bedroom. Her stomach twisted with nausea as she leaned against the waist-high railing. "Why do you do this to me?" she whimpered to no one in particular, pressing one hand against her querulous stomach and fighting a wave of dizziness. She sat on the wide railing, pulled her knees up into her chest, and cried. She couldn't think of anything else to do. She could fight any enemy, block out an external source of torture--though it was admittedly harder when it involved a certain someone asleep in the room behind her, but when confronted internally by who she had been and what she had done... Well, there was no blocking out the haunting screams inside her brain.

She didn't know how long she had been sitting there with her chin resting on her knees, fighting off the memory, when someone touched her shoulder. "Kenna?" She jumped, yelped, and nearly fell off the balcony. "Whoa, sorry, beautiful." Carth grabbed her arm, gritting his teeth as the move made his injuries complain.

"What did I tell you about sneaking up on me like that?" she demanded as her heart settled back into normal rhythm.

"Sorry. I noticed you weren't in bed and I was worried about you. What's wrong?" He sat down behind her on the railing and pulled her back to lean against him. Kenna hadn't realized she was chilly until he wrapped his arms around her.

She leaned deep into the warmth he offered. "I...had a nightmare. A real doozy of one."

"Would it helped to talk about it?" Carth asked, rubbing her back with one hand.

Kenna hesitated. "I...I don't know," she hedged. Did she really want to tell Carth about this? Then again, he was her husband, for crying out loud. If she couldn't tell him _anything_, why the hell had she married him? "I-It was from when I was Revan," she warned him.

"And I'm going to love you no matter what, remember? I know Revan did some pretty damn awful things, but that not who you are now, _Kenna._"

So she told him. It came out in halting bits and pieces, and she started crying again when she reached the end. "That wasn't my first flashback, either, but the other one wasn't so...bad. I made two officers fight over command of an assassination squad. But this one..." Kenna shook her head and stifled a sob. "I was _enjoying_ what I was doing to her. I was taking pleasure in the excessive measures, reveling in the pain I was causing her. That I could ever have been...so...like _that_..." she didn't finish her sentence, instead voicing the fear brought to the forefront by this vision. "What if Revan comes back?"

"She won't," Carth promised, his hold on her tightening for a moment. "I know remembering what you did scares you, but that doesn't mean Revan's going to come back."

"I hope you're right. I don't want things like that haunting me my whole life." Kenna buried her face in his chest, missing the wince he couldn't mask, and wrapped her arms around him. "You're freezing. Have you never heard of shirts?" she teased with a shaky smile, tugging the flimsy fabric of his undershirt.

"Nope," he replied with a cheeky grin. "Didn't you know soldiers are taught to withstand all sorts of things?"

"Oh, you." Kenna swatted his arm. "I love you, y'know."

"I know. Believe me." He kissed the top of her head. "I love you, too. Now, let's get some sleep, so you can fix that hyperdrive today."

"If you insist," she yawned.

The day was spent on the _Ebon Hawk_ as Kenna used the near-impossible task of repairing the hyperdrive to keep her mind off her nightmare, or flashback, or whatever it had been. She only took one short break when Carth showed up with food and made her sit still to eat it.

"You need a break. You've been in there for almost six hours."

"Really?" Kenna plunked down next to him on the floor. "Wish I had more to show for it. 'Course it's slow going with just me."

"Sorry. Wish I could hel--"

"No, no, no. You are _not_ allowed to feel guilty that you can't help me because you got hurt protecting Mission. Understood?" She raised one eyebrow at him in a reprimand that was teasing and serious at the same time and grinned.

"Yes, dear." Carth chuckled at her expression and reached over to wipe a streak of grease off her cheek before kissing her. "Am I allowed to feel guilty that I didn't do a particularly good job of it?"

Kenna thought for a second. "Considering that it was Sith Assassins and you took out one of them with one shot, no, you're not. No angsting allowed."

"Why not? I get the most interesting and entertaining reactions out of you when I get angsty, " he teased, dodging her playful swing at his head.

Kenna sighed in exasperation. "Remind me again why I put up with you?"

"Because I'm good looking, funny, and the only one who would have you."

"And I love you. You forgot that one."

"No, I didn't. I wanted to see if you would say something if I left it out."

"Rat." Kenna playfully slugged his shoulder. His wince was there and gone in less then the blink of an eye, but she still caught it. "Oh, Force, I'm sorry, honey."

"It's alright. You better get back to work. I've stolen enough of your time."

"Can't steal what's already yours," Kenna pointed out as she pushed off his shoulder to stand up, then offered her hand to pull him up. Carth managed to hide the potential wince this time. The twin gashes didn't hurt as badly as Kenna seemed to think. He only remembered they were there when he did something that stretched the healing skin further than it wanted to go. But Kenna didn't need to know that. He liked the...coddling, for lack of a better word.


	25. Old Habits Die Hard

_How are we going to afford this?_ Kenna looked around the restaurant and tried not think about it. _He's got to have a good reason for bringing you here. What's he thinking? What going on? _"Carth?"

"Yes?" He squeezed her hand.

She didn't want to sound like she was doubting him, but curiosity was eating her alive. "How are we going to afford this?" She wanted to know just how guilty she should feel that her uncooperative stomach had her merely picking at her food. "It just seems a bit pricey for a captain's salary, that's all."

He smiled in a way that made her think he knew something she didn't. "It is."

"So what did I miss?" Kenna raised one eyebrow in confusion.

His smile widened. "I'm getting promoted."

She had to smile at the way he sounded almost sheepish about that. "Honey, that's wonderful! I'm so proud of you. Is that why Admiral Dodonna's been needing to see you so much over the past couple months?"

"Yeah. That's also what she had wanted to talk to me about on Rakata Prime."

"I almost forgot about that. So, why was it such a big secret? Everybody had to know it was coming."

"Because Admiral Dodonna wanted them to skip Vice-Admiral and just promote me to Admiral. That's never been done before, so they were keeping it quiet while they 'deliberated'."

"Did she get her way?" Kenna demanded, leaning forward against the table. She could ignore the touch of nausea swirling in her stomach for this.

"No. They decided that, despite my record, one rank is enough for now." Carth shrugged. "I really don't mind. In my opinion, it _is_ enough."

"I think I'm with Admiral Dodonna on this one. How many people have earned a Cross of Glory?"

"Besides you, Mission, Canderous, Jolee, Bastila--"

"Alright, alright. How many members of the Republic Military have earned a Cross of Glory?" Kenna asked.

"I'm not sure. Few dozen."

"How many of them did it before they turned forty?"

"Three or four. But they didn't get to skip ranks their next promotion. I appreciate your indignation on my behalf, love, but I'm really alright with Vice-Admiral. Besides, Admirals deal with twice as much paperwork. You know how much I despise _paperwork_." Kenna giggled as he said the word as if it was a horrible disease. "What?"

"You. You're so funny. And I love you to death."

"Don't do that. You love me to death, you won't have me anymore," Carth pointed out with a laugh.

"True. Well then, I love you will have to do by itself."

"Works for me, beautiful. I love you, too." He leaned across the table to kiss her on the forehead. Kenna tipped her head up to catch it on the lips instead, grinning at him.

"So, when is this actually happening?" She played with her food as she asked, trying to work up enthusiasm to eat more of it.

Carth shrugged."About a month, I think. I don't know why there's so much of a wait, though I suspect it has something to do with--"

"Paperwork," Kenna finished for him. "How big a deal is it going to be?"

"Not huge. I swore not to show up if it turned into some huge, elaborate ceremony. But at the same time, there are certain people they have to make sure are there."

"What am I going to do with you?" Kenna sighed in mock exasperation.

"What?"

"You and this whole aversion to the spotlight. It's absolutely adorable, don't get me wrong--"

"Hey!"

Kenna laughed at his protest of her choice of adjective before finishing her sentence. "--but if you earned it--which you more than have--there's nothing wrong with being the center of attention. Didn't we go through this already?"

"Old habits die hard?" Carth tried. He chuckled at Kenna's expression. "Not buyin' it, huh?"

"Not for a second," she whispered, leaning forward.

"I'll work on it," he promised.

"Gee, I didn't even have to pull out the 'for me' card this time. You're learning," Kenna teased. Carth rolled his eyes, probably the best response, as it made her laugh.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kenna pushed off the table and stood. "I'll be right back."

"You alright?"

She nodded. "I'm fine." She headed for the refresher, making sure not to bolt in that direction as everything in her wanted to do. Despite the little bit she'd eaten, something in there had found some way to completely disagree with her stomach, and now it wanted back out. Kenna mentally cursed whatever had made her nauseous as one hand pushed back her hair and the other pressed against her roiling stomach. _Force, what's __**wrong**__ with me?_ She leaned against the wall for a minute before cleaning up and returning to the table.

"You sure you're alright, beautiful?"

"Stop worrying." She punched his shoulder gently. "I'm fine. Promise."

"If you say so..." Carth's eyes said he didn't quite believe her, but he let it slide. Neither of them said another word about it the rest of the meal.

Kenna almost breathed a sigh of relief when they got back to their house. She wanted to get out of this dress. She never had cared much for anything involving a skirt, that much of her past she _could_ remember. Consequently, she had unfastened the dress and was halfway out of it almost before setting foot in the bedroom. She tossed it haphazardly into the closet as she pulled on a nightshirt. She couldn't remember the last time she felt this tired. Despite telling Carth multiple times that she was fine, she knew she wasn't. She'd felt nauseous almost every day for a couple months, occasionally dizzy even. _One more month. If I'm still feeling less then normal in a month, I'll go see a doctor or something, _she decided as she flopped across the bed without even bothering to pull back the blankets. Half asleep, she heard Carth chuckle upon entering the room.

"Tired, Ken?"

"Mmph," she grunted, not even opening her eyes.

"You know, you're on my side of the bed too, beautiful," he pointed out. She could hear a grin in his voice without even seeing it. She wordlessly shifted so she was only on her side of the bed, letting a sleepy smile tug on her lips. Carth nudged her over another inch or two so he could get under the blanket. "G'night, love."

"Night." She reflexively pursed her lips when he leaned over to kiss her, already essentially dead to the world.

"Carth, can you help me with this zipper? How the hell I let Mish talk me into this dress I'll never know," Kenna grumbled, finally admitting defeat in her battle with the zipper discreetly hidden halfway between side and back of the brilliant red halter top dress.

"If I remember correctly, beautiful, _I'm_ the one who talked you into it," Carth reminded her as he gently tugged the zipper up. "And I think 'talked you into it' is the wrong way to describe it." He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed the back of her neck.

"That's _right._ _**Talking**_ was probably the last thing on your mind when I modeled it for you, if the look in your eyes was any indication. I think I bought it just to get you to look at me like that," Kenna teased, turning to kiss him back.

"A man's not allowed to think his wife's beautiful?" Carth protested mildly. "Though I think 'gorgeous' and 'pretty damn sexy' would be closer to what I was thinking." He laughed when Kenna blushed. "You _are_ my wife. I'm allowed to think that way about you." He flicked back the strands of hair covering her face. "But for the record, that dress looks amazing on you."

"You're just biased."

"Extremely," he admitted cheerfully. "But you really are gorgeous, Kenna."

"Thanks. I hope everybody else feels that way too." She slipped a thin sliver bracelet on her wrist and slapped his shoulder playfully, sending her skirt flaring as she spun around. "C'mon, flyboy, can't have the guest of honor arriving late. Let's go."

Carth groaned. "Do we have to?" He was only half joking.

"Yes. Now _go_." Kenna shoved him in the direction of the door. "Am I going to have to make sure you don't attempt to escape all night?"

"No. I said I'd go--and stay--and I will," he promised.

Kenna paused as nausea swirled her stomach around again, committing herself to go see a doctor in the morning. Her month was up. She would have gone today, but there had been so much to do to get ready for tonight it hadn't fit in anywhere. It wasn't a big deal. Or at least that's what she told herself as she walked down the hallway behind Carth.

Rather then pass as it usually did, however, the nausea built into an overwhelming wave of dizziness. The world tilted crazily. "Carth..." she mumbled as her vision spun into a relentless sable vortex and sucked her in.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

He barely managed to catch her. Later Carth would wonder how he spun around fast enough, but at the moment he didn't exactly care. "Mission!"

"Yeah?" The Twi'lek stuck her head out of her room, expression quickly changing from bored to alarmed. "What's wrong with Kenna?"

"I don't know." That scared him, more than he would ever admit. But looking at Mission, he got the feeling he didn't _need_ to admit it.

"I'll go get a doctor." Mission disappeared toward the door at a dead run before Carth even had time to grunt an acknowledgement as he scooped Kenna up.

With this first chance in a while to really look closely at her--they were both so busy during the day, and tired at night--he saw the dark circles under her eyes, the lines she was still too young--in his opinion--to have showing. _Sith's blood_, w_oman, what have you been hiding from me?_ He carried her into the bedroom. The dark blanket on their bed only made her look even more pale than usual. Worried as he was, there was nothing he could do at the moment, except wait. Again.

When the doctor arrived, the only time Carth could remember being happier to see another human being was when Kenna walked out of the Star Forge after fighting Malak. Mission all but dragged the auburn-haired woman into the bedroom. "Here ya go, Carth."

"Thanks, Mish." He turned to the doctor. "Thank you for coming, Doctor..."

"Quin'neth. Valentina Quin'neth. Everyone calls me either Leni or Quin. What's wrong, Captain?"

"Honestly? I don't know." He hated not knowing more. "She just fainted."

"Mmm. Has she been eating well? Feeling alright?"

He sighed, dragged both hands through his hair, and admitted, "I don't know on both counts. About the only thing I've noticed recently is she's been a lot more tired. Other then that," he shrugged, "I'm gone so much, if she was hiding something it wouldn't be all that hard." One more thing he planned to change after his promotion.

"Mmm. Well, go wait in the hall," Leni ordered, voice kind but tone firm. There would be no arguing. So Carth joined Mission in the hall.

"So, what's up?" the teenager begged when he emerged.

"I don't know," he replied, exasperation due more to the fact he was repeating the phrase for the third time in as many minutes than her curiosity.

Kenna couldn't help but moan as she came to. She felt awful.

"Easy." The voice was unfamiliar, yet soothing. That was a first. Normally, being awakened by anything unfamiliar had all her senses on full alert.

"What..." She groaned. "What happened?"

"You passed out." Upon prying open her eyes, Kenna saw the speaker was a short woman with dark green eyes.

"Who...who're you?"

"Call me Leni. I'm a doctor." The woman perched on the edge of the bed, tucking one leg under the other. "Maybe you can be more help. Have you been feeling well lately? Don't lie."

"Admonition not necessary," Kenna informed her with a wry chuckle. "No, I haven't been. Haven't been eating much either, before you ask."

"Feeling nauseous?" Leni pulled out a datapad and started to take notes. "How long?" she pressed when Kenna nodded.

"Um...three months? Three and a half? Something like that. It's only gotten really bad in the last couple weeks."

"Have you passed out before now?"

"Twice in the past three weeks," Kenna confessed. "But don't tell Carth."

"Dizzy spells?" Leni asked. She pulled out a needle and took a small blood sample.

"Occasionally." Kenna winced.

"Hungry?"

"I told you I wasn't eating much," Kenna reminded her.

"That's not what I asked." Leni looked up from her analysis of the blood sample.

"Ravenous. But nothing stays down, so I stopped trying."

"I see."

"What?" Kenna demanded. "What's wrong with me?"

"Nothing." Leni smiled knowingly. "How long have you been married?"

"Just barely over four months. Why? What's that have to do with anything?"

"Before I tell you, let me get your husband in here so I only have to say it once." She pushed off the bed and made for the door.

"You can let Mission hear, too. She's like family."

When Leni slid the door open and beckoned them inside the room, Carth and Mission didn't hesitate.

"Alright, I let you two in here so I only have to say this once. That's a lesson I learned the hard way. "

"Well?" Carth sat on the edge of the bed and grasped Kenna's hand.

"Captain Onasi, your wife is pregnant."

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A/N: Aaaand now I make you wait another week for reactions! Evil, yes, but I have lots to do, and some things hafta take precedence over my fanfics. Sorry!


	26. Will Wonders Never Cease

He couldn't breathe. "Wh-What?"

Leni nearly laughed at Carth's expression. "You heard me." She turned to an equally dazed Kenna. "Congratulations. If you want, you can come by my office tomorrow and we can make sure Baby's doing alright."

"'Kay," Kenna murmured.

"See you tomorrow, then." Leni gathered up her things and left.

Mission, shocked into silence for the first time since either Carth or Kenna had known her, stood with only a mouthed 'Wow' and left the room.

"Carth?" Kenna finally whispered hesitantly after standing the silence as they both absorbed the news as long as she could. They had only talked in passing about trying to have children, and unclear conversations at that. She squeezed his hand slightly. "Are you-"

He cut her off with _the_ most passionate kiss they had ever shared. She could _feel_ his joy, how much he loved her, all the things that were true but he would never find the words to say. So she kissed him back with every ounce of the passion flaring deep inside her. Unfortunately, her body's need for oxygen forced her to end the kiss much sooner than she would have liked. "I guess that means you're happy?" she murmured, still dazed.

"That doesn't even begin to cover it, Ken. Thrilled. Overjoyed. Ecstatic." Carth shook his head, grinning at her. "Nope. Not even scratching the surface." He kissed her again.

"Carth?" Kenna reluctantly interrupted.

"What, beautiful?" He rested his forehead against hers.

"Don't you need to be somewhere?"

"Oh, right." He sighed. "Now I _really_ don't want to go."

"Then you're gonna hate me for this: I don't feel up to going." Kenna offered an apologetic smile and kissed him on the cheek. "Sorry, love. You could see if Mission wanted to go."

"So I have to brave a crowd of military big-wigs without you?" Carth shook his head despairingly. "I'm dead meat. You owe me big time."

"Sorry I couldn't make myself faint on your schedule," Kenna teased. "I'm sure you'll be fine. If you take Mission she'll probably scare them all away. Now, go. Admiral Dodonna's probably in a panic by now."

He had to admit she was right. "You sure you'll be okay?"

"I just feel drained. I'll be fine. I probably won't even leave the bedroom. Seriously, Carth, you need to get over there before Dodonna thinks you bailed." Kenna squeezed his hand. "I love you."

"Love you, too, beautiful." He couldn't resist kissing her one last time before leaving the room.

Mission was waiting in the hallway, wearing a _dress_-something Carth didn't even know she owned-and a pleading smile. "I overheard. Can I come with you? Please?"

Carth was on the verge of saying telling her no, but _**Mission**_ had put on a _**dress.**_ He had never seen her in anything other then that Echani fiber armor or her casual clothes. "Sure. If you really want to."

"Uh-huh. And don't worry," she giggled, "I'll protect you from the scary military big-wigs."

"Brat," Carth muttered under his breath before asking her, "Just how much did you overhear?"

Mission grinned impishly. "Enough. Geezer."

"Don't make me reconsider bringing you," Carth threatened.

"Sorry. I'll behave. Promise." Mission raised one hand and placed the other over her heart as if swearing an oath.

_That'll be the day,_ Carth muttered to himself. "Come on, Let's get going."

They hadn't been gone long when the wall holo in the bedroom began to warble an indication someone was trying to contact one of the members of the Onasi household. Kenna groaned and crawled to the edge of the bed, trying to reach the 'accept call' button without actually having to leave the bed. She couldn't do it. With a louder groan, she staggered to her feet, waited for the world to stop spinning, and checked the ID on the call. Bastila. Kenna punched the button to accept the call. "What is it, Bastila?"

"I felt something through our Force Bond. Are you alright?" The younger woman's concern was apparent, both in her voice and on her face.

"I'm fine," Kenna assured her, wriggling out of the red dress and pulling on a loose tunic. "I passed out as we were getting ready to leave for the promotion ceremony. Carth's taking Mission instead."

"Well, that should be interesting, to say the least." Bastila chuckled at the thought. "The two of them together without you there to referee? Are you certain that's a good idea?"

"No. Not at all. But it bought me some peace and quiet with both of them out of the house. Dodonna can deal with them," Kenna laughed.

"Very nice job changing topics. Do you know why you passed out?" Bastila inquired in concern.

"Yes. Nothing's wrong with me," Kenna promised. "I haven't been hiding a life threatening illness or anything."

"Then what was it?"

Kenna hesitated. _How much do I want to tell her? Do I want her to know? What'll she __**say**__?_ "Um..."

"Kenna, there has to be a reason you passed out. I'm not cutting this connection until you tell me. And if _you_ cut it, I will keep calling back until you tell me," Bastila threatened.

"I'm pregnant," Kenna admitted bluntly.

"_**What?**_!" Bastila demanded after a long moment of silence as she stared at Kenna like she was crazy. Or living in an alternate reality. "You're _**pregnant**_?"

"You say that like I have a disease," Kenna grumbled. "I'm thrilled, Carth's ecstatic, Mission was speechless, what's wrong?"

"Jedi aren't supposed to get pregnant."

"They aren't supposed to fall in love or get married, either. I've done **_real _**well there," Kenna reminded her friend in a mildly acidic tone.

"Were you...planning on having children?" Bastila asked hesitantly.

Kenna shrugged. "We'd talked about it, but hadn't gotten to the point of agreeing one way or the other. The fact this news earned me what's probably the most passionate kiss Carth and I have ever shared makes me think we would have eventually decided to do this anyway."

"That was a bit more information than I needed." Bastila made a face.

"Now you sound like Mission. At least once a day she's whining about how free Carth and I are with PDA," Kenna teased.

Bastila's attention was drawn away from the screen. "I'm sorry, Kenna, I have to go. Master Shi'ian needs my assistance. I shall call back later."

"Alright. Go ahead." Kenna tapped the 'end call' button and flopped back on the bed, rolling herself up in the covers and plunging into a sleep so deep it didn't even register when Carth and Mission got back.

_Now I remember why I hate these parties so much._ Carth wanted nothing more than to leave. Especially since he was supposed to be the center of attention. He was really getting tired of listening to various Admirals say the same thing several dozen different ways. He knew his promotion was an honor, but any feelings he'd had about it had been swamped and blown away by the knowledge that Kenna was pregnant. It was impossible to top that. He was sure at least some of the brass in attendance thought the grin constantly tugging the corners of his mouth was due to the honor of his promotion to Vice-Admiral. He didn't feel like correcting them, and it was far too soon to be letting everybody know. They were just finally getting to the point Kenna could show her face in public without getting mobbed.

Admiral Dodonna knew, of course. Carth had felt like he had to tell her to explain why he was late-_**very**_ late-to his own promotion ceremony, and accompanied by a teenaged Twi'lek instead of his wife. She had been thrilled, and even offered to find some way to shorten the ceremony so he could get home sooner.

"I knew there was a reason I liked serving under you. Thanks, Admiral."

"I know you're less than fond of being the center of attention, Carth," she pointed out with a smile. "This is the least I can do for you. I'm sure you'd rather be home with her right now."

"What sane man wouldn't?" he laughed. "But I'll do my best to not flee. At least not too soon."

"Thank you. I appreciate that." Dodonna was serious, but Carth could also see the laughter in her eyes. "Do you know where Mission ended up?"

"No." She shook her head.

"Uh-oh. Mission unsupervised is a very bad thing. Or can be," he amended. "I better find her, make sure she's not causing trouble or something."

Dodonna laughed. "Good luck."

"She's probably somewhere giving _her_ version of our adventures. Which could be worse than if she's causing trouble." Carth headed off to locate the teenager. He'd only been half joking. Mission could cause a lot of trouble, but he was more worried about her being bored. She was probably the only one here under the age of thirty. He had to wonder why she had even wanted to come; it wasn't like he and Kenna had described it as the kind of thing she'd find interesting. Even Kenna had been less than thrilled at the idea, but she at least hadn't griped about it the way he did.

He found Mission giving a more colorful-but still mostly accurate-account of what happened on Taris for a couple of lieutenants who didn't look that much older than her. _Alright, so she found someone under thirty._ "You get to the rancor yet?" he asked, interrupting her description of the Vulkars.

"Yeah, just got past the part where we hadta rescue Kenna from that ridiculously over-upgraded security droid in the Vulkars' garage."

"She didn't do too bad," Carth informed the two lieutenants, who were gaping at the thought of _Revan_ needing to be_ rescued_, "It was just a little too much for her to handle alone."

"Carth, you're ruining my story!" Mission complained through a grin. "Go away."

"So sorry, Mish. Ignore me." He playfully tugged one of her lekku before walking away. "Just don't embellish too much, young lady."

Mission sighed in pretended disappointment. "As you wish, Vice-Admiral Geezer."

Carth shot her a Look. "Mission."

"Sorry." Her teasing grin undermined her apology somewhat, but Carth knew she couldn't help it.

True to her word, Admiral Dodonna pulled-probably _yanked-_some strings and managed to shave a whole hour off the end of the ceremony. Carth knew she must have been forced to practically wallow in the politics side of her rank to do so, and he thanked her again on the way out the door.

"It's fine, Carth. To hear Kenna tell it, you're just as responsible for saving the galaxy as she is. It's the least I could do for you."

"Still, thank you."

"Go home, Carth," Dodonna laughed. "That's an order."

"Yes, ma'am. Don't have to tell me twice."

"And you can consider yourself on leave for tomorrow, too." She held up a hand to cut off his protest. "This is as much for Kenna as it is for you. Now, go home."

Carth thanked her again as he obeyed. Mission was exhausted and not in the mood for conversation, so the trip home was silent. The two of them snuck in as quietly as possible, sure that Kenna was asleep. Carth couldn't help but chuckle as Mission got out of as much of her dress as was decently possible on the walk to her room.

One step into his bedroom confirmed their guess that Kenna was asleep. She had also claimed all of the blankets for her own. Again. The Savior of the Galaxy might be completely selfless and more concerned with the good of others in every other area of her life, but she was a bit of a blanket hog. No one knew that but him, though.

"Kenna?" he whispered, gently tugging the covers. She mumbled in her sleep but didn't wake up, and didn't loosen her grip. Carth sighed and tried again. This time she shifted slightly and her grip loosened enough that he could reclaim some of the blanket. Carth kissed her on the cheek before stripping off his uniform climbing into bed. He couldn't help but grin as his wife instantly and possessively snuggled against him.

Carth and Mission were both up already when Kenna finally woke up the next day. She felt awful. Maybe it was just knowing she was pregnant that triggered the full strength of her nausea, maybe she was hitting the point where it was **_supposed_** to be worse. Either way she looked at it, it came down to the Great and Powerful Revan-who had vanquished Malak and saved the galaxy-getting bested by morning sickness. The irony would have made her sick, if she wasn't queasy already. _Oh, Force. I don't wanna get up. I don't wanna go to the doctor. I don't wanna eat. I don't even wanna __**move**__._ She knew the only one of those she might actually manage to avoid was eating. She had to move, had to get up, had to go to the doctor. _Carth is going to take me. I am in no way capable of getting there under my own power. _With a noise that was half groan and half sigh, Kenna made herself sit up. The movement made her head spin and her stomach complain. Swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and reaching for her clothes brought on yet more dizziness, but at least her stomach didn't hate her for it. Moving _very slowly_ she managed to make it out to the living room and collapse on the couch without too much protest from her stomach. This was pure misery. She almost would have preferred torture-even the Sith variety-to this. At least she knew how long that would last. And least that didn't make her stomach heave. This might be her life for the next five or six months. That almost made her cry. "How you feeling, Ken?" Mission was entirely too chipper to be talking to her.

"Horrible. Ever hear of morning sickness?"

"Oh." Mission actually looked chagrined. "Sorry. Anything I can do?"

"Not a damn thing. Unless you have a way of speeding up time or know how to cure morning sickness," Kenna groaned, letting her eyes slide closed.

"Nope. You goin' to the doctor's today?"

"If Carth can take me. If it's left up to me, I won't move from this spot all frackin' day."

"Admiral Dodonna gave him the day off. I think he could. Carth!" Mission hollered.

Kenna winced at the volume. "Could you just go find him instead of yelling?" she grumped. Mission rolled her eyes in silent apology, but didn't move from the room.

"What, Mish?"

Kenna opened one eye. "Is he in the kitchen?"

"Yeah."

"I'm suddenly not so sorry I'm incapable of eating."

"I heard that, beautiful!" There was more laughter than hurt in Carth's protest, and Kenna smiled. "And at least I'm better than you!"

"Freely concede the point." Kenna opened her other eye. "But that's still not sayin' much." She pushed off the couch and stumbled toward the kitchen. "Can you take me to the doctor's today?"

"Sure, Ken. I don't know if I'd trust you to get yourself there, if I'm honest. Especially considering you currently look like death warmed over."

"Gee, thanks, handsome," Kenna muttered, leaning against the counter. "I love you, too."

Mission giggled and disappeared back to her room. Just in case.

_A/N: So, while I have basic plot idea for the rest of this story, I suffer horrid and instantaneous writer's block whenever I attempt to write more, so the next chapter might take a little longer to get up. Or not. I really don't know. I'll try my bestest to stick to updating every Thursday, but I make NO promises. :) Oh, and FF won't save any of the thing I attempt to use to divide POV changes(grrr), so if that seems too abrupt in this chapter, it's not my fault!_


	27. You Heard Me

The eruption Mission was anticipating never occurred, however. Mostly because Kenna was in no mood-or shape-to fight. She didn't even feel like talking, so the trip to the doctor's office was silent. It took all her willpower to stay vertical, even with Carth's help, as they walked into the office.

"I hate this," the Jedi mumbled as she all but melted into one of the chairs in the waiting room. Carth offered her a sympathetic smile before crossing the room to let Leni know her patient had arrived.

The doctor smiled when she caught a glimpse of Kenna. "Wow. I've never seen anyone get hit so hard with morning sickness."

"You can tell?" Carth ran one hand through his hair. "She's pretty miserable. Never thought I'd see her like this."

"Get used to it. This will last at least another month, maybe two, depending on how far along she is."

Kenna groaned. "I heard that." She pushed herself up out of the chair and walked over to join them, weaving slightly.

Carth was pretty sure this was the only time he would ever see her looking...tipsy, for lack of a better word. "I'll, uh, I'll just wait out here for you, Ken."

"Coward," she mumbled, trying to sound disgusted, but she was sort of grinning as she said it. She followed Leni back to the exam room as if she was in a haze.

"I think you may be getting this the hardest of anyone I've seen in ten years of practice," Leni commented as they reached.

"Great." Kenna plunked down on the examining table.

"I wonder if it has something to do with you being a Jedi."

That got Kenna's attention. "How did you-?"

"It's not that hard to figure out. I suppose the irony of getting your butt whupped by morning sickness after all you've survived hasn't escaped you." Leni chuckled sympathetically as Kenna nodded. "Sorry. But your connection to the Force may be what's causing you to suffer so severe a case."

"Wonderful. The one thing I can't do a damn thing about..." Kenna buried her head in her hands.

"I said maybe," Leni reminded her. "Now lean back."

Kenna obeyed, sliding up her tunic to expose her stomach as Leni flipped on the equipment. "I hope this baby's closer to coming out than you think. I don't know how much more of this I can take."

"Mmm." Leni's attention was directed toward the monitor for the sonogram machine. She watched what showed on the screen, her eyebrows curving upwards. "Oh."

"What? What's wrong?" Kenna demanded, pushing herself back upright so fast it made her head spin and her stomach protest.

"Nothing, I promise." Leni put one hand on Kenna's shoulder and pushed her back down. "Here, I'll, um, show you." She seemed to be fighting a grin as she nudged the monitor into a position where Kenna could see it as well. "Okay, this-" she tapped a circular shadow on the screen, "-this is Baby A-"

"Baby _**what**_?" Kenna practically shrieked, her eyes nearly doubling in size, sure she'd heard wrong.

"-and this is Baby B," Leni finished, the grin she been fighting spreading across her face.

"Twins?" Kenna shot a glance at her stomach. "I-I'm pregnant with _twins_?" _Didn't see__** that**__ coming...Damn._ The thought was so jarring she numbly repeated the last word."Twins?"

"Yep. You heard me. Both of 'em look perfectly healthy, too. You probably would have started showing soon, I figure you're about three months along, maybe a smidge more. Do you want to know gender?"

"Um..." Kenna bit her lip. "I need to ask Carth. We never got a chance to talk about that.."

Chuckling at the dazed expression on the other woman's face, Leni stood. "I'll get him for you."

He wasn't sure whether it was good thing or not that the doctor was beckoning for him to join them in the exam room. Kenna hadn't been back there _that_ long. Carth stood and crossed the room. "Is something wrong?"

Leni shook her head. "Not at all. She has something to ask you."

Carth raised one eyebrow as the doctor turned to lead him to the room.

"Hey, love," Kenna greeted him when he walked in. Her eyes were shining even though the dark circles were still there. "Do we wanna know whether I'm havin' girls or boys?"

"I don't c-wait, _what_?" he demanded as what she'd said sank in.

Kenna wanted to laugh. His expression was even more priceless than the time she teased him about having a thing for Bastila. "You heard me. And yes, you heard right. It's not _a_ baby, there's, um, two of 'em."

"Wh-what?"

"I...am...pregnant...with...twins." Kenna enunciated carefully, her eyes laughing at him. "Catch it that time, flyboy?"

"Yeah, beautiful, I got it."

"You okay with that?" she asked hesitantly.

"Not like there's anything we could do about it if I wasn't, but I am very, very okay with that," he chuckled, kissing her on the forehead. "Are they both healthy and everything?"

Leni nodded. "They're both fine. I told your wife I just need to know if you want to know gender."

"Well, how important is it?" Carth looked back at Kenna. "Do we need to know?"

She shrugged. "I guess it only really matters if there's one girl and one boy, 'cause then Mish would have to share with the girl when they get older. It would be nice to be able to warn her about that, y'know? If it's two girls or two boys, they can just share with each other."

"True. So...?"

"Could you just tell us if it's two of the same or one of each?" Kenna asked Leni. The doctor nodded and spun the screen back so the two of them couldn't see it as she checked. Carth couldn't resist kissing Kenna again as they waited.

"Two of the same," Leni reported. "So, you'll need to come back every month so I can make sure they're still both healthy. The morning sickness will last probably another month or two. Sometimes people have all the way up 'til they give birth, but most it's only to four or five months."

"That's comforting," Kenna mumbled. "Thanks, doc." The elation was giving way to the nausea again. She just wanted to go home and sleep. Or at least lay down. "You get to tell Mission," she told Carth on the way out of the office.

"Okay. And I'll wait until you're back in bed before I tell her, so you don't have to field a million questions and shrieks of delight," he promised. "I'll deal with that."

"Lifesaver. Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not today." He grinned at her.

"I really, really love you, Carth Onasi." She pulled him close to kiss him.

"The feeling is mutual, Kenna _Onasi_," he replied as he kissed her right back.

Kenna made a beeline for their bedroom when they got home, managing-_Thank the Force_-to make it without Mission seeing her. As she stripped off her clothes in trade for the loose tunic she'd slept in the night before, she heard Mission pestering Carth. _Thank the Force for you, love._ She burrowed under the covers and was asleep in seconds.

"So, what did the doctor say?" Mission demanded before the door had even slid shut behind Carth. "Is Kenna okay? What about the baby? How long's she gonna be sick?"

"One question at a time, Mish," Carth laughed. "Kenna's fine. This is just morning sickness."

"Okay, well, what about the baby?" Mission plunked down on the couch, but bounced back to her feet almost immediately.

_This is going to be __**fun**_. "Actually, Mission, Kenna's having twins."

"_**SERIOUSLY?**_" the Twi'lek whooped. "Are you...are you pullin' my leg, Carth Onasi?" she demanded suspiciously.

"No. You can ask Kenna when she gets up, if you don't believe me. She's having twins. I promise," Carth grinned. "And they're both fine."

"Girls or boys?"

"We didn't find out," he admitted. "We know it's either two girls or two boys, but decided that's enough for now."

"Oh. Still, that's way cool." Mission grinned and bounced on the couch a couple times. "Oh, my gosh, that's beyond awesome! I seriously can't tell you how awesome I think that is!"

"I think I can guess, Mish."

"You tell Dustil yet?"

_Oh, __**Sith's**__ blood!_ "No. Not yet." Carth groaned. "I guess I should do that."

"Yeah, I would. And soon." Mission smiled sympathetically. "Sorry. Did I just totally ruin a great mood?"

"Yep. Reality would have done that anyway. It's not your fault, Mish," he assured her.

"If you say so. I'm gonna go practice sparring, since I suddenly have all this energy." Mission sailed out the door with a huge grin on her face. As he watched her go, Carth realized he hadn't seen her that happy in quite a while. Since Telos, in fact. He and Kenna both knew Mission missed Big Z, but she never brought it up, never seemed to want to talk about him. It didn't seem right to just let her bottle it up inside, but they couldn't make her talk about it. Well, maybe Kenna could. But that would be cheating. Carth shook his head. At the moment he was more concerned about how he was supposed to tell Dustil that Kenna was pregnant...with twins. That was not going to be easy. He didn't even honestly have the faintest idea what to say. Part of him wanted to wait until he actually knew what to say before he told his son, but the other part said-very pragmatically-the longer he waited, the angrier Dustil would most likely be about getting left out of the loop.

Carth couldn't help but smirk at the irony of it, the son who was still pretty ticked at him was so much like him it was scary. He sighed. The longer he waited to do this, the harder it would be, and he knew it. _You can take on a roomful of Sith no problem, but talking to your son scares you to death. That's messed up._ He decided to just do it, and hope the words would come as needed. To his-immense-relief, Dustil was apparently out, as the call went straight to a message service. Carth left a message for Dustil to call him and disconnected, more relieved than he'd ever tell anyone. Since he was off for the whole day and had nothing else to do, he headed back to the bedroom. _Might as well keep Kenna company..._ It was the best way he could think of to spend his time.

She was absolutely adorable curled up like that. Carth smiled to himself as he yanked off his clumsily-mended flight jacket, which still bore the after-effects of Telos, thanks to Kenna's less-than-stellar sewing skills. Two straight lines had been harder than she anticipated. Of course, the thicker than normal fabric his jacket was made of was partly to blame for that. He didn't care how it looked. That jacket had been through so damn much, the scuffs and other marks just added character at this point.

However, at the moment the jacket was cast aside, tossed on the floor next to his kicked-off boots as he climbed into bed next to his sleeping wife and pulled her close. As usual, Kenna twisted to wrap her arms around him rather possessively the second she sensed his presence. Carth grinned and held her close, relishing the sound of her breathing. It was the simple things in life that were important. He kissed the top of her head, and she moved slightly, making a contented noise in her sleep. _What'd I do to deserve her?_ Carth wondered as he watched his wife sleep.

Her placid expression twisted into a deep, angry frown, and he suddenly was very worried.

_"Rand did __**what**__?" Revan demanded, rounding on the trembling cadet who had been saddled with the dangerous task of informing the Dark Lord what her star Assassin was up to now._

_"He-He took the squad out, last n-n-night, an-"_

_"Was there one planned?"She almost questioned her decision to give Rand command of the squad; these kind of shenanigans were becoming all-too-common. Almost. She had a gut feeling about this man, he had __**promise**__._

_"No, my lady." The soldier shook his head vigorously. "He said he had a f-feeling that he should take them out, that it wo-would be worthwhile-"_

_"And?"_

_"Th-They found some kind of r-relic or artifact, or something."_

_This was why she still stood by her choice; Rand was oh-so-skilled, especially at finding things that proved invaluable. He was a good fighter, ruthless, and perfectly willing to use whatever means he deemed necessary to win. Revan wondered at times if his lightning-quick reflexes were a sign of Force Sensitivity, and made a mental note to check up on that possibility the next time she had a chance_

_Either way, he needed to stop acting like the rules didn't apply to him. If she said 'Stay on base', it meant __**everyone**__. Not everyone but him. The others called him her pet, because he could-and did-get away with a lecture for things that would land anyone else in the morgue. True as that might have been, the next time he disobeyed a direct order, the consequence would be more extreme. She found the assassin in the weapons room, cleaning off his warblade._

_"What the hell is wrong with you, Rand?"_

_"Ma'am?" He sat down the weapon and stood._

_"What were you doing taking the squad off-base when I gave orders that no one was to leave until Malak and I returned?" She crossed her arms and glared at him. "When I say 'stay on base' it does actually include you. You are not exempt from the rules."_

_"No, ma'am." He shrugged apologetically. "I don't have any excuse beyond what you've probably already heard from whichever unlucky bastard had to risk life and limb to tattle on me this time."_

_"All I heard was you had a feeling you needed to take them out and that it would be worthwhile. If you don't have anything better than __**that**__, we have a problem."_

_Rand sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "You know during the Wars, how the Jedi would sense what was about to happen, or when something important was nearby?"_

_"Yes." Revan kept the high level of interest out of her voice, sounding like a detached superior listening to a subordinate. "What about it?"_

_"That's the closest thing I can think of to describe this feeling. I'm no Jedi-" his expression twisted with disgust "-but I just get this sense about things sometimes."_

_"Alright, Rand. I'll take it. What did you find?"_

_"Honestly, I have no idea. I can tell it's Sith, I can tell it's ancient, but as far as what it is, I don't have a damn clue. It's in the hanger garage, if you want to see it."_

_"I do." Revan turned to leave. "Rand?"_

_"Yes, ma'am?"_

_"Next time you break the rules, the consequences will be more than just a lecture. Understood?" Her tone implied it better be, or there would be some discipline dispensed on the spot. The way she flexed her hands back up that inference._

_"Yes, ma'am." Rand picked up his warblade and resumed cleaning it off as the Dark Lord left the room. _

_He wasn't afraid of her. Revan could see it in his eyes. Combine that fearlessness with his reflexes and this new bit of information, __that he had 'sensed' that this relic he'd found was out there and important,_ and she was almost positive he was Force Sensitive. He might be getting a first-hand look at her most secret project. None of the rank and file had ever seen it, unless they showed signs of Force Sensitivity, like Rand.

_She knew what she put the captured Jedi, and occasionally her own soldiers, through could kill people. But if that was what it took to have the best army she could possibly command, then that was what she would do. You grew stronger or you died. If you weren't strong enough to defeat your enemy, you were as good as dead anyway. And Rand was one of the toughest of her men. Like Malak, if he got over confident and tried to take her place, he'd give her a fair amount of trouble, even if he didn't have the Force at his command. He would survive, should she choose him. She knew it._

If Kenna was remembering something, it didn't seem to be in the same vein as the last time. Carth absently ran one hand down her arm as she slept, wondering if she was dreaming or remembering. Part of him wanted her to just be able to forget her past, leave it all behind her. She couldn't be someone she didn't even remember. The other part pointed out that it had to be horrible not remembering her past. After all, even with as much pain as he had in his past, Carth wouldn't want to forget any of it. The thought of having a hole in his memory, even if it was replacing the moment he found Morgana' broken body, was an unpleasant one. He'd rather remember pain than not know what he had been feeling, so why would Kenna feel any different? He knew she was afraid Darth Revan would come back if she remembered too much, but he didn't think so. Especially now that she was going to be a mother. That thought made him smile, his loose grip on Kenna's arm tightening for a moment. She smiled slightly in her sleep and snuggled in closer. He wrapped his free arm around her shoulders.

_**This**__ is what I call happiness._

_A/N:Sorry I didn't quite make Thursday. This was actually done-despite working an 8-hour shift-but my Internet went out. So you get it today instead. So, moving on to the story-related stuff... Surprise! I could not resist making it twins. And about Atton showing up again...that wasn't planned, this memory just popped up as I was writing and I went with it. It's really weird, I can't write "redeemed Atton", as in KotOR 2, IC to save my life, but fully evil and still as Jaq, he just kinda comes. And before you flip out, no, this is not the end. I fully intend to take Kenna all the way till she has these babies. At least. Mommyhood as a Jedi will be interesting to write. And hopefully Dustil and Bastila will both find out in the next chapter. In all honesty, I"m drawing as much of a blank as Carth is far as telling Dustil... that will be **very** interesting to write..._


	28. Beautiful

The wall holo beeped. Carth considered throwing something at it to make it shut up. Kenna's expression had smoothed back out, and he assumed whatever dream or memory had been plaguing her was gone now. He wanted her to sleep. But he had to either extricate himself from the grip she had around his waist or wait for the holo's insistent chime to wake her up. Since it was possible-if only just-to accomplish without waking her, Carth went with gingerly prying her hands loose and sliding to the side. Kenna gave a quiet half-whimper before latching onto one of the pillows.

Carth smiled to himself as he circled the bed and jabbed the button to accept the call without even looking to see who it was. "Yes?"

It was Dustil. "Hello, Father. I got your message. What did you need to talk to me about?" There was a layer of awkwardness under the casual tone; both Dustil and Carth were still adjusting to being part of each others' lives again.

_Sith's blood. Guess it's best to just tell him. _"Um, Kenna, actually."

Dustil's expression instantly grew more wary. The fact his father had remarried-and a former Sith Lord at that-was still a somewhat tricky area of conversation with him. "What about her? Is she getting all Sith-like again?"

"No. Nothing like that." Carth almost laughed. "She's, um, pregnant."

Absolute silence and a disbelieving stare met that announcement. Dustil finally blinked. "What? Did...you really just say what I think you did?"

Carth nodded. "Yeah, I did. Kenna's pregnant. We just found out last night." He ran one hand through his disheveled hair. "She passed out."

"She okay?" It actually sounded like he was genuinely concerned, rather than indifferent. That was progress.

"She's fine. I took her to the doctor's this morning, and, um, it gets better."

"What, is she having triplets?"

Carth felt one side of his mouth twist in a wry grin. "Nope. Just twins."

Dustil blinked. "Are you...are you serious?"

"Yes. And everybody's reacted that way. Kenna, me, Mission. It's almost funny. I can't wait until she tells Bastila."

Dustil smirked. "From what I've heard about Bastila, I would _**love**_ to eavesdrop on that conversation."

Carth laughed. "So would I. Considering Kenna said she flipped out about the mere fact Kenna's pregnant, this news will probably get an even more volitile and very fun to watch reaction."

"Father, would..." Dustil hesitated, sighed, raked his fingersthrough his hair, and started over. "Would it be alright if I...uh, came to visit?"

"Of course." Carth wondered what he'd said that would have given any other impression. "For how long?"

Dustil shrugged. "I don't know."

"How 'bout a week?" Kenna mumbled sleepily, shooting Carth a lopsided, devious grin when he turned to look at her. "For starters, at least."

"And how long have you been eavesdropping?" He tried to sound put out, but she was so adorable half-asleep he couldn't help but grin.

"Long enough to expect listening ears when I let Bastila know there's more than one new Onasi on the way." She sat up and kissed him.

"Do you mind?" Dustil muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Now he sounds like Mission."

"He does, doesn't he?" Carth agreed, kissing her back just for the hell of it.

"Speaking of Mission, how come she got to know before me?" Dustil asked. "Just curious."

"She lives here. She knew what was happening, and pestered me until I told her. Plus, you didn't answer the first time I tried to contact you," Carth reminded his son. "Actually, just about the first thing out of her mouth-after two or three 'that's awesome's-was telling me to let you know."

"Ah. Well, I have to go for now. I'll call later to work out a visit."

"Okay," Carth and Kenna said at the same time.

Carth couldn't help but sigh in relief when they disconnected. "That went much, much better than I thought it would."

Kenna leaned back, propping herself up on one elbow. "Did you think he was going to get really angry or something?"

Carth shrugged, climbing over her to get back on his side of the bed. "I didn't know, honestly, but it wouldn't have surprised me in the least if he was. He was still kind of mad at me when we talked on Citadel Station."

"Mm." Kenna snuggled underneath the blanket and wriggled closer to him.

Carth wrapped his arms around her. "You feeling any better?"

"Eh, a little." She made a face. "My stomach's settled down a tad, and the world isn't constantly spinning. I guess that's an improvement of sorts." She giggled, a sound that wouldn't normally be associated with as important a person as Revan. "I'm going to be a _mother_." The note of wonder that crept into her voice made Carth's grin widen.

"That you are," he agreed. He kissed the back of her neck, his lips pressing against the sensitive spot that made every nerve in her body tingle.

Kenna couldn't have stopped the breathy moan that slid from her lip had she wanted to, which she most certainly did **_not_**. "Carth..." She twisted around to kiss him, catching his jaw instead of his lips because her aim was slightly off. One of his hands slid up and cupped the side of her face, fixing the slightly off angle so their mouths met. One of her hands mimicked the movement, rubbing against the stubble lining his jaw, while the other curled loosely around his bicep, the bare flesh warm under her light touch. She didn't pulled back until the passion brewing in her stomach mutated into nausea. _Damn it, damn it, damn it!_ She swallowed hard, forcing the bile climbing her throat back down. "I can't..."

"What's wrong?" Carth made her look at him.

"Damn morning sickness," she muttered, suddenly near tears and bewildered as to how she could go from on top of the universe and giggling about her approaching motherhood to feeling like the scrapings from a Gamorrean's boot and wanting to vomit inside five minutes. It wasn't_**right**_. "We should figure out a good time for Dustil to visit." It was a desperate attempt to change topics, but Carth let her get away with it.

"It should be at some point you don't feel quite so horrible, for one thing, beautiful," he pointed out.

"I'm not right now," Kenna protested.

"Not what?"

"Beautiful," she mumbled, picking at the hem of the loose tunic and biting her lip, painfully aware of the dark circles under her eyes and the tousled state of her hair.

Carth smiled at her and gently tipped up her chin so she was looking at him. "Kenna."

"What?" She swiped at tears she felt but he couldn't see.

"Yes you are." He kissed her again. "You're _very_ beautiful. Gorgeous, in fact."

She blushed. "You're just biased."

"Unashamedly," Carth admitted, still smiling. "But we were supposed to be figuring out a good time for Dustil to visit."

"We should probably ask Mission what she thinks, too. We aren't the only ones who live here."

"That's a good point," he conceded, "And I should check and see what the Republic has planned for me in the near future before I make any promises as to when he can come."

"It would be more than a little awkward for him to be here when you aren't," Kenna agreed. "Our conversation on the Citadel was proof enough of that."

"Honestly, though, honey, I don't know how much better it would be if I _was_ here." Carth rubbed the back of his neck. "We're working through everything, but it's not like one conversation fixed all our issues."

"Wouldn't it be great if life worked like that?" Kenna murmured sleepily, snuggling against him again.

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. "Only in holovids, I'm afraid, love."

"A girl can dream. However, I think I'd rather have other things on my mind at the moment. Seeing as you have the _whole day_ off." Her grin was nothing short of seductive.

"That, beautiful, is _**cheating**__, _and I'm shocked you would stoop to such levels." Carth kissed her forehead. "But if you want to worry about Dustil's visit later, it can certainly wait."

"Good. Because I keep getting...distracted." Kenna traced one finger across his bicep to emphasize her point, feeling the shudder ripple through his muscles at her touch.

"Like I said, _beautiful_, that's cheating," Carth murmured as he went to kiss her again.

"You don't seem to mind," she whispered back just before their mouths met.

**oOo**

Neither of them moved from the bed until they heard Mission come back. The teenager was obviously attempting to be quiet, and just as obviously failing miserably. For someone who bragged about being the queen of stealth, that was more than a little suspicious.

"Dinner out says she's faking," Carth murmured in Kenna's ear.

"That's one bet I'm not touching. You know damn well she's only pretending to be stealthy. I'm feeling sick, but I'm not dumb," Kenna grinned. "And you know dinner out wouldn't end well for me." One of her hands slid down between them to rest against her still-flat-and querelous-stomach.

"Good point. I think I'll go ask her how things went."

"What was she doing, anyway?" Kenna asked as Carth slid out of bed.

"She said she was going to practice sparring, since she had all this energy." He grinned. "_Somebody_ is excited about you having twins."

"Well, that's a good thing, if she's gonna have to live with them." Kenna punched her pillow to shift a particularly stubborn lump to the side. "That's better." She lay back down and watched Carth leave. "Tell her I'll be out later. The nausea's not so bad now. That nap helped a lot."

He read what was implied in that statement and chuckled as he closed the door.

**oOo**

Mission was putting her vibroblades away when he walked out of the bedroom. "So how'd it go?"

"Huh? Oh, sparring." The Twi'lek shrugged. "Pretty good. I was scared I would hit someone too hard cuz I was so jazzed about the twins, so I just used a practice dummy at first. Then this dude-who'd been watchin' me-said I was pretty good for a kid, and challenged me to a duel."

"Oh. Boy." Carth could just picture the condition that poor man had been in when Mission got through with him.

"Yeah," Mission laughed, "I pretty much wiped the ring with him." She grinned. "Serves him right, too."

"Glad you had a good time."

"It was a good workout." Mission shrugged. "Not as good as w-I used to get, but if it helps keep my skills sharp, I'll take it." There was the slightest edge of...something tingeing her voice, but Carth kept his mouth shut. Whatever she'd been thinking about wasn't something she wanted to _talk_ about, and since he was finally feeling relaxed, he wasn't going to force anything.

"Kenna says she's going to try and get out here eventually, now that the nausea isn't so bad. She had a nap and that helped."

Mission shot him a look that made it plain she knew a nap was not all that had transpired. "Mm-hm."

"Mish, don't start. It was nothing like _that_."

"Sure. And I'm Chancellor."

He sighed. "She was asleep most of the time."

"And the rest of the time?" Mission grilled teasingly.

"Dustil called back, and we were trying to figure out a good time for him to come visit."

"Oh."

"Don't sound so disappointed," Carth ribbed.

"Oh, I'm not, trust me." Mission made a face and headed for the 'fresher to take a shower.

Carth laughed at her expression before heading to the kitchen to fix something to eat, planning look for something for Kenna as well. If he could find something that wouldn't upset her stomach. The last thing he wanted to do was make her feel worse.

_A/N: Sorry it's a little on the short side. And rather late. But I kept getting ideas for Aftermath and not this. If Dustil is out of character PLEASE let me know. In this or future chapters. I've had several people ask to see him show up, and I think I can work him in easily enough, but he's a really hard character for me to write, so if I seem to be messing him up, tell me, and if you have any advice, I'm open to suggestions._


	29. Lesson Learned

Fortunately for Kenna, the morning sickness was not as bad once she passed the four-month mark. It settles to a level of tolerable annoyance, often buried under planning for Dustil's visit, or preparing a room for the babies, or learning how to _really_ fly the _Ebon Hawk_. She knew enough to keep it steady, sure, but there was a reason Carth was the only one to occupy the pilot's seat while they were saving the galaxy. Now, in between assignments, her husband was attempting to remedy her inability to be solely responsible for the ship.

The fact that she already knew the basics-how to keep the ship steady, how to engage or disengae the hyperdrive, how to power up and down-helped a lot. Carth didn't have to start from scratch with her. That didn't mean she was perfect, however. It turned out flying the ship was a lot harder than fixing it.

"No, Kenna, you don't want to turn that sharp." Carth reached over and adjusted the angle of the turn.

She resisted the urge to smack his hand away. She knew what she was doing, honest she did, it was just a tricky thing to turn enough but not too much. "Why not?"

"Because if you were going any faster making a turn like that you'd lose control of the _Hawk_," Carth explained patiently. Kenna was easily frustrated right now, her slowly expanding belly, sore back, and still mildly upset stomach all conspiring to make her as grouchy as possible at the earliest oppotunity. On a good day, she could fend it off until afternoon. Today was apparently not a good day. "Kenna, relax. You don't have to instantly master everything."

Kenna pulled one hand off the controls and rubbed the palm against her eyes. "I know." Her voice was edged in irritation as well as weariness. "But..."

"But people expect you to be able to do anything," he finished for her. "You don't have to do everything, love."

"I know that, but how do you explain the Savior of the Republic not knowing how to fly her own ship?" If she trusted herself more with this thing, Kenna would have turned to look at him, however, she settled for darting a quick glance in his direction as she asked.

Carth grinned. "You had a ruggedly handsome and talented pilot at your disposal, remember?"

"I remember the talented part..." Kenna teased, grinning impishly at him as she brought the _Hawk_ in to land. It was a little bumpier than it should be, Harder than Carth would have landed it, but for Kenna, it wasn't bad at all.

"Not bad. Keep it up and _maybe_ you'll be as good as me someday." She smacked his shoulder-hard-for that. "Ow!"

"Serves you right," Kenna huffed, grinning as she stomped down the boarding ramp with as much pretended-indignation as she could muster,trying-unsuccessfully-to hide her grin. Carth laughed and followed her, catching up easily. She couldn't walk as fast right now, a fact he ribbed her about to no end.

"Slowpoke," he teased, pairing it with a kiss on the cheek so he wouldn't get smacked again.

Kenna sighed in exasperation and made a face at him. "You're asking for it, flyboy."

"That's why you love me."

"No, I love you 'cause you're adorable."

"Hey-"

Kenna cut off his protest about her choice of adjectives with a kiss, pushing him back against the wall as it went deeper.

"Y'know, beautiful, there's other people here," he whispered.

"Let 'em look," was her uncaring retort.

Until he finished, "I think I see a reporter."

Then she sighed, pulled back, and resumed walking, hand still loosely clasping his. "Well, then. I'll just have to wait until we're home, won't I?"

He loved it when _**that tone **_crept into her voice. "I guess you will."

**oOo**

However, the wall holo was beeping with two missed calls and two messages when they returned. Kenna pressed the button to play the back as she stripped off her outer tunic. Rolling her now-freed shoulders, she tossed the tunic in the general direction of the couch. She didn't particularly care if it made it or not.

The first message was from Dustil. He'd booked passage and would arrive on Coruscant within a week. Kenna sighed with relief. The last they'd heard from him, he was having trouble working a visit into his schedule. He'd gotten a job working with the restoration project on Telos, and his work hours were ridiculous, his boss not the type to give week and a half leave for a family visit. She almost didn't want to know what he'd had to promise to finally finagle the time.

The second message was from Bastila. She and Kenna had been playing holo-tag for two weeks. They always seemed to miss each other, and Kenna refused to leave this update about the number of new Onasis on the way in a message. However, this time Bastila was informing Kenna that she would be unoccupied and available to 'chat' for several hours.

"Hey, Carth, if you really want to eavesdrop on me and Bastila, here's your chance."

"Think I'll pass on that, beautiful. I'm not feeling particularly curious at the moment." Carth pulled off his boots and slouched in one of the chairs in the living room. "You can have the bedroom. And I swear not to eavesdrop."

"How noble of you," Kenna chuckled as she headed in the direction of the bedroom.

**oOo**

The nerves hit as she plunked on th edge of the bed and punched in the code to call her friend. Bastila had not reacted well to the news Kenna was pregnant. It was anyone's guess as to how she'd take the news it was twins. Kenna shuddered to think of the possible response. _Still, better to get it over with. Besides, it's not like I can do anything about it now._

Bastila answered on the first ring. "Kenna. I see you got my message."

Kenna nodded. "I did. Sorry it's been so hard for us to catch up. We were trying to work things out for Carth's son to visit, and Mission's been dragging me all over the place to go shopping for stuff for the babies' room." She almost winced at the slip of her tongue, but then realized hearing 'babies' sounded the same as 'baby's'. "And, um, on that topic, when I went to the doctor to make sure the baby was okay, I found out something else."

"What is it?" Bastila frowned in concern. "Is there something wrong?"

Oh, no, nothing like that." Kenna shook her head, tucking back her hair. Those rebellious strands were finally long enough she could manage to keep them out of her face most of the time.

"What then?" Suspicion was creeping into the younger Jedi's tone.

"It's twins."

Silence. If not for the image of Bastila staring at her incredulously, Kenna would have thought she'd lost the connection.

"Bastila?"

"I...I'm sorry." Bastila cleared her throat and-Kenna could tell-swallowed most of what she was about to say. She felt it through their Force Bond. Bastila was borderline furious. "I'm just...that is hard to grasp," she finally admitted.

"Why? Twins aren't that rare. And if you're mad at me, let me have it. I can already sense it through our Bond," Kenna reminded her. The irony of her finally being the one to sense an unwanted emotion did not escape her.

Bastila shook her head. "No. I've given in to anger before, and said and done things I regretted later as a result. I'll not be so weak this time. Besides, my anger will not change the facts. However, I can tell you, this is not going to go over well with the Council."

"You're going to tell them?" Kenna fought down her own wave of anger, even as she felt Bastila's bleed away.

"Of course not. I can't believe you would think I would do such a thing. But you will have to tell them. Or they'll find out some other way and you will have even more for which to answer."

She was right. Kenna had to admit that. "Well, I...how am I supposed to tell them?"

"My advice? Just send a short, essentials only message. A datapad, perhaps. Don't appear in person, don't contact them this way, just give them the news without any form of you there for them to turn on in the emotion of the moment." Bastila smiled slightly. "Unless you enjoy Master Vrook's lectures far more than it appears you do."

Kenna shuddered at the mere thought. "No. I'd rather avoid that, thanks."

"I thought so. Are you...feeling alright, if I may ask?"

Kenna nodded. "You may, and I am. I had really horrible morning sickness, worse than most because it's twins and because I'm a Jedi, until about three days ago, but now I'm feeling better. I think I've eaten more in the past few days than I did in the three weeks prior to them."

"You do look rather thin," Bastila agreed, "But there is also a...glow that I can detect even with the lower quality of the holo screen."

Kenna blushed. "Am I that obvious?"

"Yes. Out of curiousity," Bastila bit her lip-the surest sign of a mental debate-then finished, "how did Carth take it?"

"I think thrilled would be an understatement," Kenna laughed, "As would overjoyed, ecstatic, and any other word you could think of that means anything similar. I've never seen him happier." She smiled. "Even when we got married. And that's okay. I feel the same way."

Bastila smiled. "I'm glad. Now, I shall let you go. I'm sure you have things you need to do, and Master Allorn asked if I would teach the Younglings class."

"Oh?" Kenna chuckled. "Lucky you. Cute kids, some trust, apparently the Council is convinced you aren't going to fall again."

"At least not anytime soon," Bastila agreed, a hint of something wistful in her eyes. "I shall talk to you later, Kenna."

"Mm-hm." Kenna nodded and ended the call. She was just standing up when the unit beeped again. Chuckling when she saw the ID, Kenna punched the button to accept the call. "Yeah, Mish?"

"Do you like green or yellow better?"

"What?" Kenna shot the Twi'lek a confused look. "Mission, where _are_ you?"

"A baby clothes store. Do you like green or yellow better?"

Kenna sighed, having a feeling she knew where this was going. "Why?"

"Cuz I found the _cutest _outfit ever in here, and I know I can't get it in pink or blue since you don't know whether it's girls or boys, but would you rather green or yellow?" the teenager repeated, juggling the outfits in question along with her comm unit.

"Mission."

"Yeah?"

"It's twins. Get one of each."

"Oh, yeah. I guess that would work too," Mission grinned sheepishly. "Sorry to bug you."

"Not a problem. I feel a little better knowing what kind of mischief you're up to," Kenna teased. "Oh, and Mission?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't go too crazy."

"Oh, don't you worry about that." There was something in her tone that made Kenna very,_** very**_ worried.

But she just sighed and ended the call before wandering back out to the living room. "I've come to warn you," she teased as she sat down on the couch, shifting aside her crumpled outer tunic.

"Oh?" Carth opened one eye to look at her.

"Mission's shopping for baby clothes."

"Oh." He winced.

Kenna laughed at his expression. "Maybe it won't be that bad."

"And maybe Malak wasn't really evil, and maybe Canderous and I will actually get along someday, and maybe the Council won't be mad at you."

"How'd you know about that?" Kenna narrowed her eyes. "Did you eavesdrop?"

Carth grinned. "My lips are sealed."

"Oh, really?" Kenna pushed off the couch and move to his lap. "I think I can unseal them." She kissed him, drawing it out for a long moment before she pulled back.

"You know, woman, your tatics are just evil," Carth whispered. The rasp edging his voice made something inside Kenna shiver in delight.

"You don't seem too terribly bothered," she whispered back.

"That's because I know it works both ways." His kiss was just as drawn out as hers had been, Kenna's fingers digging in to his shirt, his running up and down her arm.

Kenna finally pulled back, reluctance clear on her face. "Well, back to reality."

"Honey," Carth chuckled, "there's nothing for you to do right now. _**This**_ can be reality."

She grinned at him. "I like the way you think. But we should probably either lock the door or hide in our room. I don't know when Mish's getting back, and I'd rather not get caught by her again."

"I vote hide in the bedroom." Carth waited for Kenna to get up before pushing out of the chair. "There's one thing that puzzles me, beautiful."

"What's that?" Kenna shot him an 'I'm-wise-to-you' smile, but played along anyway.

"How is it that someone as brilliant as you can't land a ship smoothly to save your life?"

"Rat!" Kenna plunked down on the bed and launched a pillow at him.

"Real mature," Carth smirked as he picked up the pillow and joined his wife on the bed.

"Well, one of us has to be the adult," Kenna ribbed, poking him. Carth caught her hand as she tried for another and intertwined his fingers with hers as he kissed her again. "And you complain about me playing dirty," she mumbled, running her fingers through his hair and making both of them sigh with pleasure.

"I'm a quick study, beautiful."

**oOo**

They stayed in their room until they heard Mission come back and holler for Kenna.

"Well, let's go see what kind of damage she's done." Kenna pushed off the bed and offered Carth a hand up.

He shook his head. "Nope. She wants you, Ken. I'm staying right here."

Kenna sighed in mock disgust and made a face at him. "Coward."

He chuckled. "No, just horribly out of my depth when it comes to baby clothes."

"But what about Dus-"

"That was all Mori." Carth sighed. "I got redeployed two days after he was born. Gone for seven months, back for two, then gone for another three."

"Oh." The single syllable squeaked out sounding very small.

"Go see what Mission wants to show you."

She would have read him the riot act-several times over-for shutting her out like this but she'd done the same thing every time she omitted a detail she didn't think he could handle when telling him about her dreams or memories or whatever the hell they were. Every time she chose to carry something alone. He was entitled to something he carried alone, if things were going to be fair. So she settled for a quiet, "No angsting. That's an order." uttered with a teasing grin and a kiss on the cheek. Then she left the room. "Alright, Mish, what do you wan-_**whoa**_." Kenna's mouth dropped open at the sight of the living room.

The couch had disappeared under a mountain of shopping bags, and the chair now held a worn out but grinning ear to ear Twi'lek who giggled furiously at the look on Kenna's face.

"Mish, didn't I tell you not to get too crazy?" the Jedi finally demanded, one hand resting against her stomach, mentally calculating whether the twins would be capable of wearing all those clothes before they outgrew them.

"Well, yeah, you did," Mission admitted with a devious grin. "_**But**_ you failed to define 'too crazy'. Is it my fault if our definitions differ slightly?"

"Slightly? Mission there's enough clothes here for a small _**army **_of kids! I'm touched you're so excited about the twins, but this is a bit much."

"Well, that's my job," Mission retorted, somehow managing to smirk innocently.

"Your job? Dare I ask what that job might be?"

"Weeeeellllll, if I'm gonna be Auntie Mission I gotta spoil 'em just a _**little **_bit," the teenager replied sweetly.

Kenna groaned and buried her face in her hands. "Mish..."

"And I'm gonna show 'em how to pick locks, and hotwire speeders, and-"

"No."

"Can I at least teach 'em pazaak?" Mission pleaded.

"No."

"Please?"

"I think I'm getting a headache. And just how did you afford all of this?" Kenna gestured toward Mission's pile of loot.

"Um, I hit a pazaak den first. Cleane out about six of the nerf-herders in the place before they wised up and kicked me out."

Kenna groaned again and pinched the bridge of her nose. _Alright, lessons I've learned today: How to land the _Hawk_, that Carth can play just as dirty as me, and never. Ever. Let Mission go shopping unsupervised again. Ever._

_A/N: Yay for mush and Mission! She is gonna have so much fun with these kids. Probably help them drive their parents insane. Now I wanna skip straight to after they're born. But no. First Dustil's visit, then the babies come. Patience, young lady, patience. *evil grin* All kidding aside, I'm rather pleased with this. I sat sat down with nothing this morning, only managed to write for three hours before I had to go to work, and finished whe I got back-and I'm managing to post on Thursay! Yippee for me! *happy dance* _


	30. Trial by Fire

"What exploded in here?" Kenna teased as she walked into the dining room. "Mish, we have to eat on that later, remember."

Mission looked up from the hilt of the vibroblade, the only thing still intact from the weapon now strewn across the table. "I know. But I found some new upgrades, and the workroom's already a mess from whatever Carth's workin' on down there, and I swear I'll clean this up."

"Well, if you swear." Kenna headed for the bedroom, then turned back. "Oh, did you hear from Dustil? He said he'd check in when he got closer."

Mission shook her head, flicking grease off one of her lekku. "Nope. Nothin' from Dustil. But the Council called a few minutes ago, while you were out. They wanna talk to you."

"Lovely. Can't wait. Thanks, Mish."

** oOo**

Kenna couldn't help but wonder if Bastila had let something slip again that was going to land her in big trouble. _What am I so worried about? They let me get married, and they had to know this could happen. They may have thought it unlikely, but they had to know it was possible._ She sighed and tapped in the code to contact the Council.

"Ah, Revan. Thank you for answering so promptly," Master Shi'ian bowed in greeting, as did the others.

Kenna returned the greeting. "Master Shi'ian. Please, I'm not Revan anymore." _I thought we went over this already._ She took a deep breath to calm herself. "Mission said you wished to speak with me?" Amazing how formal her speech became in the presence of the Council.

"Yes, we do. We have a...request. Something that needs to be done that we think it is best you handle."

Kenna fought the urge to quirk an eyebrow. At least she knew she wasn't in trouble...yet. "What is it?"

"There is a small group of dark Jedi who have congregated on Dagobah. We need someone to neutralize any threat they represent to the galaxy."

"Normally we wouldn't ask you to do something like this, since you've already done so much," Tristan explained, "But we are short on Jedi at the moment."

Kenna chewed her lip. _Carth will kill me if I did something like that...still, it sounds like it's important._ "How many dark Jedi are we talking about, Master Shi'ian?"

Shi'ian exchanged a look with the others. "No more than twenty."

Kenna laughed. "I'm honored you think so highly of me, but I know my limits. I can't take twenty dark Jedi on my own." _Especially in my condition._

"You may take one or two other Jedi with you. No more than two, and no non-Jedi." Vrook's tone conveyed the 'don't-argue-with-me' he intended.

"May I think about it?"

"Of course," Kyraa agreed before the others could open their mouths.

"Thank you, Master Tane." Kenna bowed. "I'll call you back and let you know." She closed the connection and let out a relieved sigh. She really wanted to say yes. Mostly because if she said no, the Council was going to want to know why. And she really didn't feel like telling them just yet.

** oOo**

Finagling a yes out of Carth was easier than Kenna had thought it would be. She didn't even have to play the 'for me' card or anything. He took one look at the determined gleam in her eyes and shook his head. "I know that look. Fine. Go ahead. As long as Leni says it won't be too bad for the twins. And remember about Dustil."

Kenna nodded. "Of course." She called up the doctor to ask and got a go ahead, with a "don't push it" warning tacked on the end. "Don't worry, Leni. I won't."

"You better not. Or I'll help Carth kill you when you get back."

Kenna laughed. "The media would have a field day with that. Well, I should let the Council know I'll do it."

"Of course. Remember, don't push it."

"Yes, ma'am." Kenna ended the call and immediately contacted the Council. Kyraa and Tristan were the only ones who appeared on her screen when the call was answered. "Where are the others?"

"They were...called away for various reasons," Kyraa replied. "Do you have an answer for us, Kenna?"

"I do. I'll accept the mission."

Tristan smiled. "Very good. Who do you want to take with you?"

"Jolee Bindo, for one. He's used to living in an environment with limited visibilty, even if darkness is different from fog. And we've fought together before, so we know each other's fighting styles and can play off that."

"And the other?" Kyraa arched one eyebrow as Kenna hesitated slightly. "Well?"

_**This**__ is going to go over well... _"Bastila Shan."

The two Masters stared at her. Kyraa looked like she thought Kenna had lost her mind. "You trust her?"

"Why shouldn't I?" Kenna demanded. "I can feel her through our Bond just as well as she can feel me. There's no more darkness in her."

"She has shown she is weak against the pull of the Dark Side," Kyraa countered. "I really do not think it is wise to take her into a situation where you will be facing dark Jedi."

"Nevertheless, I trust her and want her to come. It will be an ideal test of her strength," Kenna pointed out. "Besides, if the worst should happen and she falls again, I can beat her. I've done it before."

Kyraa sighed. "Very well. You shall have the team you requested. Master Vrook is not going to be happy about this, though."

Kenna very nearly told her what Vrook could do with his disapproval. "Is it not enough that I trust her?" She sighed. "Forget it. When do we leave?"

"As soon as you're ready. I'll alert your companions and have them meet you in the Temple hanger."

"Very well." Kenna nodded. "I'll be there as quickly as possible." She ended the connection.

** oOo**

After filling Mission in on what she was doing and passing along quick instructions regarding dinner, Kenna went to the Temple and met Bastila and Jolee in the hanger. She wasn't sure why Jolee hadn't returned to Kashyyyk yet, especially with as much complaining as he did about the Jedi, but she was very glad he was available to come with her. He seemed equally surprised she had accepted the mission and asked for him.

"You're not tired of an old man's incessant lecturing?" he asked in pretended shock.

Kenna shook her head and laughed. "To be honest, I almost miss your harping," she teased. "Almost." She turned to Bastila, who looked worried. "What's wrong?"

"Are you certain you should be doing this?" the younger woman asked quietly. "I mean, in your condition." Jolee's eyebrows shot up at that, and Kenna knew she was in for an interrogation session as soon as their shuttle lifted off.

"The doctor said it's fine, so long as I don't push it too hard," Kenna assured her. "Is that all that's bothering you, Bastila?"

Bastila hesitated before shaking her head. "No. How did you ever convince the Council to let me come? They still don't trust me. Except Master Allorn," she corrected herself. "He seems willing to forgive my past...transgressions."

"In all honesty-" Kenna sighed, "-I had to remind them that if the worst happened and you fell again-which I don't think will happen-I'm more than capable of...killing you."

"Oh."

"Bastila, I have faith that you won't fall to the Dark Side again. They're just very suspicious, and that was the only way I could convince them to let you come."

"I understand." Still, the Jedi's shoulders slumped as she followed Jolee up the ramp to the ship.

Kenna couldn't think of any way to explain how repulsive she found the idea of having to kill Bastila, so she just kept silent as she trailed after the others.

** oOo**

The journey to Dagobah was long enough for Jolee's interrogation _and_ the very lengthy lecture Kenna had to endure after letting him in on her news. It was more about telling him about these things sooner and taking care of herself than it was about how Jedi weren't supposed to have children, blah, blah, blah.

"I'm touched that you care so much," she finally interrupted, a teasing tone filling her voice. "And thank you for not using the 'Jedi aren't supposed to...' arguement."

"Missy, I'm an expert on what Jedi aren't supposed to do," Jolee chuckled. "And you let me and Bastila do most of the work when we get there, are we clear?"

"Wasn't aware you were in charge here, Master Bindo," Kenna joked airily, secretly intending to do just that.

"I just promoted myself." He chuckled again at her expression. "Don't worry. I'll still follow orders. But you stay back and let us handle them."

"Sure, a Guardian letting the Sentinel and Consular do all the fighting. Makes perfect sense."

"If you were worried about that, you would have brought Juhani," the old man pointed out.

"You have me there," Kenna sighed. "Let's just focus on getting there before we worry about strategy."

"Good plan."

** oOo**

The three Jedi spent the rest of the voyage lost in their own thoughts, Kenna and Bastila occasionally tapping into each other's as well. Kenna didn't like what she was sensing.

Bastila was worried, verging on panic. She was afraid she would fall again. She hadn't been tested in the stregth of her recommitment to the Light since her fall and redemption. This would be a bit of a trial by fire, Kenna had to admit.

As they disembarked on the spongy surface of the planet, Kenna turned to Bastila. "I have faith in you." She looked past her fellow Jedi and commented, "Glad we missed landing in _**that**_."

Bastila and Jolee turned to look where Kenna was pointing. One of the landing struts was just barely two feet from a pool of slimy water that was who knew how deep.

"Indeed," Bastila murmured. "However, we landed safely, so might I suggest focusing on the task at hand? Kenna, how much were the Masters able to tell you about this enclave?"

Kenna shook her head. "Not much, actually. We know there's about twenty dark Jedi, maybe a few acolytes, but we don't know building layout, or security measures they may have taken, or anything else."

Bastila raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand why they sent you here if they don't know anything more. This is too dangerous. It seems suspiciously like a trap."

"Well, trap or no, we're here, we may as well see it through." Kenna rubbed her back. The morning sickness may have been gone for the most part, but the aches got worse every week. "I trust you two. We'll do what we can, and hope that it's not a trap."

** oOo**

It took all of five minutes to see that Kenna was right. This wasn't a trap, just an overconfident group of stragglers who thought they could rebuild the Sith. The Jedi managed to infiltrate the building without being detected. Until they came to the first room. Instead of being a private room, as Kenna had so fervently been hoping, it was a training room. In the three seconds of astounded silence before all hell broke loose, Kenna counted six dark Jedi and two acolytes in the room.

The dark Jedi had barely started to move in the direction of the intruders when Bastila cast a Stasis Field. The odds narrowed to an even three on three contest for the moment. When the young Jedi called forth a Force Storm, the lightning spidering around the room, the odds tipped more permenantly in their favor as one dark Jedi and both acolytes dropped from their frozen positions to the floor.

Kenna couldn't wait any longer. She powered up her lightsaber and went after one of the attacking dark Jedi. She could hear Jolee grumbling about kids being unable to listen to their elders as the blue blades clashed against the twin violet sabers wielded by her opponent. She faked an attack, drew back, and slashed the dark Jedi across the chest. She was already breathing hard as she turned to take on the next one. _Force, this pregnancy thing may be a problem in here._ The Stasis Field reached its end, and the freed dark Jedi immediately threw themselves into the battle. Kenna and Bastila stood back to back, trying to take the brunt of the assult and draw the enemies away from Jolee.

The room filled with Force-summoned lightning, creeping tentacles of terror, flung lightsabers whirling their course toward opponents and then back to their owners. Kenna was hit by a wave of the Force and slammed against a wall, hearing Bastila and Jolee grunt as they tumbled backwards as well. There were only two dark Jedi left, but they were attacking with a desperation fueled power that made them harder to fight.

Bastila flung her lightsaber at them from the doorway to the room, decapitating one and grazing the other's shoulder. He snarled and glared at the weakened Jedi. "Scum." The Force lightning built around his hand until practically the whole room smelled of a storm.

It died a quick and anticlimactic death, however, when a blue lightsaber blade suddenly materialized through his chest. Kenna pulled her 'saber free and tossed Bastila a medpac. "Here. Jolee's pretty drained."

"Don't you coddle me, missy," he grumbled.

"I'm not. I'm conserving resources," Kenna shot back. "We have another fight like that, I want you able to pull your weight, like you did here."

The old man grumbled under his breath some more, but had to concede she was right.

** oOo**

They went through the whole of the small base, checking every room. Nowhere else were there enough dark Jedi together to put up a fight like the training room. They seemed to share two bunks to a room, but even if both occupants were in the room, they didn't present too much of a challenge. In acquiesence to Jolee and her doctor, Kenna let the others handle as much as possible of the work, only lending a hand if things looked bad. She hated feeling this useless, like she was only along for the ride. But she didn't want anything happening to the babies, and Jolee read her the riot act every time she tried to do too much. _Almost wish I hadn't told him,_ Kenna grumbled to herself.

Bastila did her proud. There were a number of times the dark Jedi seemed to sense the younger woman's former weakness and attempted to entice her to the Dark Side. She stayed strong every time. Even the man who appeared to be in command of the base couldn't sway her. Kenna could feel the temptation as it nibbled at Bastila that last time, but still she resisted. It took all three Jedi to fight the man. _I'm glad they sent us, if only to kill __**him**_, Kenna thought as Jolee's lightsaber finally slashed through the dark Jedi's chest.

"Well, I guess that's it," she sighed as she used the Force to heal Jolee and Bastila's injuries. "I'll call the Council and ask them what they want us to do about the base."

Bastila nodded, breathing heavily. "Alright."

The Council wanted the base left alone, now that there were no more dark Jedi, but could Kenna perhaps download any files kept by the dark Jedi, so the Council would know what else any stragglers might be up to? Kenna agreed and tasked Bastila with finding anything relevant in the computer system. "And Bastila?"

"Yes?"

"I'm glad you stayed strong. I'd hate for Vrook to be able to say 'I told you so'." She smiled. "I knew you could do it."

Bastila actually blushed as she murmured, "Thank you," before turning back to her download. Kenna could feel the pleasure and relief radiating off her friend, even without using their Bond. She'd passed her trial by fire with flying colors.

The comlink warbled as the download finished. "Yes?" Kenna answered, expecting it to be the Council checking back in.

"Hey, beautiful."

She smiled. "Hey, yourself, flyboy. What's up?"

"Just wanted to let you know Mission talked to Dustil a few minutes ago, and he said he should be here in a couple days."

"Alright. We're finished here, so I should be home before he shows up."

Carth chuckled. "You didn't push yourself too hard did you?"

"No, I didn't push myself too hard. Jolee made sure of that." Kenna made a face at the older Jedi, who was fighting a laugh.

"Good," Carth laughed. "Thank him for me, would you?"

"I'll do that," Kenna promised as they headed for the door. "See you when I get home, love."

"Mm-hm. I love you."

"Love you, too." She turned off the comlink and tucked it back in her belt. "Let's go."

"What was that about?" Bastila asked.

"Dustil's coming for a visit, and he's had a hell of a time getting leave from work," Kenna explained. "Apparently his boss is a slave driver who never gives time off. I think he had to play the 'Do-you-know-who-my-father-is?' card."

Bastila laughed. "How does Carth feel about this visit?"

Kenna shrugged. "He's fine with it. Already stressing that he'll say the wrong thing and tick Dustil off more, but he really wants to patch things up, so he's glad things worked out. Now, come on. If we leave now, I think we can beat Dustil to Coruscant. I'd like to be presentable when I greet him."

_A/N: Sorry it's taken so long to get this up; my internet went out for almost a whole week. Hope you like the chapter, and hopefully Dustil will finally show up in the next one. *bites nails nervously* And hopefully I'll do a good job writing him..._


	31. New Developments

Kenna barely stuck around the Temple long enough to give her report about the results of their mission before bolting home. "Hear any more from Dustil?" she demanded after letting Carth kiss her almost breathless as soon as she walked in the door.

"Slow down, beautiful," he chuckled. "He'll be here in about-" he double-checked the time, "-two hours."

"Two hours?" Her eyes widened. "I need to clean up, I haven't had a chance to straighten the house-"

"Kenna, calm down." Carth rested his hands on her shoulders as she started to panic. "First, you have plenty of time to clean up. Second, Dustil's working on the restoration project. I doubt clutter would bother him. And third, you need to have a little more faith in Mission, and _me_."

Kenna looked over his shoulder. "Oh." From what she could see, the place was cleaner than it had been in...oh, about four months. Morning sickness had not lent itself to wanting to clean. She smiled sheepishly. "Sorry."

"I think you owe me a kiss for underestimating me." Carth grinned.

"If you insist," she sighed in mock exasperation, pulling his head down to kiss him. "I'll try to have a little more faith in the future. Though if this is the way you want me to apologize, can't promise I'll be terribly motivated to do any better." Her grin was wicked and promised all _sorts_ of things.

"Mm. Don't tempt me," Carth muttered, kissing her on the forehead. "Go clean up. I'll get on Mission's case to be ready."

Kenna nodded, reluctantly pulled away and headed to the bedroom, already wriggling out of her robes.

** oOo**

Two hours later, the three of them were on the landing platform, waiting for Dustil's shuttle to arrive. Mission was the only one who wasn't nervous. She was actually excited. She'd heard about Dustil, both after Carth and Kenna had found him on Korriban and after the failed assassination attempt on Citadel Station-and even caught a glimpse of him outside the Station cantina-but never actually met him.

"How much longer?"

Kenna laughed. "Three minutes less than the last time you asked, Mish. The board said that shuttle was running twenty minutes late. Be patient."

"I'm trying," the Twi'lek shot back.

"Not very hard," Carth muttered under his breath, rolling his shoulders in a vain attempt to undo the knot of tension forming between his shoulder blades. Kenna noticed.

"You need to relax. You're the one who told me he doesn't totally hate you anymore." She rubbed his back. "I'm more worried about what he'll think of me," she admitted. "I mean, what if he thinks I'm trying to replace Morgana?"

"I've already sworn up and down to him that you aren't. I _think_ he believed me." Carth chuckled at the look she gave him. "I can't read minds, love. That's _your_ specialty."

"True," she conceded. "But you still need to relax. He might take it wrong." Her thumb dug into the his muscles, trying to massage away the tension. "Carth, c'mon. _**Relax**_." It was the closest he'd heard her to _ordering_ him to do something since Taris, and the tone made him grin.

"Yes, ma'am." He kissed the back of her neck. "But only if you relax, too."

Kenna huffed at him. "That's blackmail."

"Indeed it is. But it's necessary blackmail. You look just as tense as I feel."

"Freely concede the point," Kenna muttered as the transport shuttle from Telos swooped in to dock, ten minutes ahead of the revised schedule. She raised an eyebrow. "Well, you ready?"

Carth nodded.

"I know I am," Mission chimed in.

"We knew that," Kenna teased, one hand absently pressed to her stomach. "What?" Carth demanded, almost instinctively covering her hand with his own.

"Nothing. Just glad the morning sickness is mostly gone," she reassured him. He accepted that, kissing the top of her head as the shuttle door hissed open and the passengers began to disembark.

Dustil appeared midway through the emerging crush, eyes searching. He spotted them and angled through the crowd. Kenna squeezed Carth's hand, smiling as he returned the pressure. _Please don't let any of us screw this up_, she begged mentally. It would be too easy for someone to say the wrong thing and for the tentative progress Carth and Dustil had made on the Citadel to be undone.

The young man reached them and nodded in greeting. If he was nervous, he was hiding it well. "Hello, Father."

"How was your trip, son?" Kenna picked up on the slight hint of nerves in her husband's voice and hoped Dustil missed it.

Dustil shrugged. "Uneventful and boring, for the most part. The delay was due to Czerka demanding to add cargo when we stopped on Anaxes. Apparently they finished working on some new high-tech gizmo and _had_ to get it to market. Didn't bother me, of course, but I think close to a quarter of the other passengers were gonna miss connections because of the delay."

"Twenty minutes is going to mess up that many people's connection?" Kenna found that had to believe.

"It was an hour's delay when we left Anaxes," Dustil explained. "The pilot took a few risks, pushed the thing harder than he probably should have, and managed to cut that down to twenty minutes. It's probably fewer now."

"I see. Brave man. Most shuttle pilots wouldn't dare veer from company procedure for fear of losing their job." Kenna tugged on Carth's arm and motioned to Dustil and Mission. "Come on."

"This pilot struck me as a bit more of a gambler than any other I've met," Dustil agreed as the four of them left the platform. "Not that I carried on a long conversation with him or anything, just an impression I got."

"Guess we'll hafta trust your judgment, then," Mission piped up, unable to stay out of the conversation one more second.

Dustil arched an eyebrow at her. "Let me guess. You Mission?"

"Yep. Good guess. 'Course it's not like there's anybody else from our crew you could really get me mixed up with or anything."

"Yes, you're definitely unique," Carth muttered under his breath. Mission spun around and stuck her tongue out at him before returning her attention to Dustil.

"Very mature," he laughed in response to her instinctive reaction to Carth's comment. "How old are you, anyway?"

"Fourteen. _Almost_ fifteen."

"Really?" His incredulous tone had Carth and Kenna exchanging a look behind his and Mission's backs. He was _in_ for it. Unless he shut up.

"Yeah. Somethin' wrong with that?" Mission sounded defensive, her tone one Carth knew all too well.

"No." Dustil shook his head. "For some reason I thought you'd be older."

Carth and Kenna winced. Kenna's quickly turned to a grin she fought to bite back.

"Why wouldja think that?" Mission bristled, crossing her arms.

"Fourteen just seems kind of..." To his credit, Dustil caught on in time to not finish the sentence, but the inference was there, and inference was all Mission needed.

"Kinda what? _Young_?" Kenna could almost see her rolling her eyes. "I'm so sick and fracking tired of people assuming that! How old're _you_?" The Twi'lek demanded.

"Me? Seventeen, _almost_ eighteen. Why?" Dustil asked suspiciously.

"Bet I could beatcha in a duel." Mission's eyes gleamed as she issued her challenge. "'Less you're scared, of course."

_Ooh, Force, she's evil. And quick. I was sure we'd make at least two days before she brought up sparring with him._ "Mish, why don't you let him get settled in before you try to kill him?" Kenna intervened as they reached the speeder. "Maybe you two can duel tomorrow."

"You're a total spoilsport, Ken," Mission moaned.

"However, she's _right_. We fight now, you may beat me 'cause I'm tired," Dustil pointed out. "If we wait until tomorrow, I'll have no excuse if you beat me."

"_When_," Mission corrected. "When I beat you."

"Whatever you say." He shot Carth a 'where-did-you-find-her?' look as he tossed his bag in the back of the speeder.

** oOo**

"Hey, Dustil, you wanna play pazaak?" Mission thumbed her deck and grinned at him.

He thought about it for a second, then shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"She's very good. And very cutthroat," Carth warned. "She could beat the pants off everyone on the _Hawk_ except Canderous."

Mission snorted a laughed. "Hey, I _did_ beat him once. But Kenna and Bastila couldn't win pazaak if their lives depended on it. Juhani was okay. Same with Jolee. T3 beat me a couple times." Her expression flashed sad for a moment. "I think Big Z let me win." The grin returned as if it had never been gone. "You were pretty good. I mean, for an old guy."

Carth rolled his eyes and didn't rise to the bait. "Go play. And don't take it easy on him. But no cheating, young lady."

"Hey, I don't cheat," Mission protested, trying to look hurt. The giggle didn't help. "C'mon, let's go play somewhere else." She tugged Dustil up out of his chair. Carth watched them go, then went in the kitchen to help Kenna clean up from dinner.

She smiled at him. "Come to rescue me from my drudgery?"

"I didn't think you ever needed rescuing," he teased.

She smirked. "Housework is a much more sinister foe than Malak could ever hope to be." She kissed him on the cheek and handed him a towel. "I'll wash, you dry."

"Sounds good, beautiful." They worked in silence for a few minutes.

"So what're they up to out there?" Kenna asked, raising one hand from the sink to gesture towards the living room.

"Pazaak. Hopefully Republic Senate rules, or Dustil will probably be broke by the time he leaves."

Kenna laughed. "I see. Since she can't beat his butt sparring until tomorrow, Mission's going to wipe the table with him playing pazaak."

"He might surprise her tomorrow," Carth pointed out. "Remember where he spent the last four years."

Kenna raised an eyebrow. "I'd think you'd want to _forget_ that your son spent four years with the Sith."

"I _want_ to, but I can't," Carth muttered. "It's part of who he is now, and I can't ignore that in hopes it'll go away." He sighed. "Morri tried to warn me what he was going to think. She told me once that it's hard to explain to a six year old that Daddy isn't here because he loves you. She understood my reasons, even if she didn't like me being gone so damn much, but Dustil didn't."

"Carth, no angsting allowed, remember?"

"I'm not angsting," he protested.

"Then what do you call it?" Water sloshed as Kenna scrubbed a plate harder than was necessary.

"Evaluating my mistakes." He grinned when she rolled her eyes. "I'm not beating myself up for any of it, Kenna. I'm just saying I could have been a better father."

"Well, you were protecting them, and orders aren't exactly _optional,_" Kenna pointed out.

"But some of the tours I accepted _were_. I didn't have to go on all of them. But when your CO prefaces a request with 'We could really use you for this, Onasi. You're the best pilot in the whole damn fleet', it's hard to say no."

"Oh."

"I don't look forward to when that comes up." Carth used his elbow to nudge a stack of dishes aside to make room on the counter. "Dustil's gotten better at controlling his temper, but he _is_ my son, and he _did_ spend four years learning to nurse anger and hatred to the point they're practically a weapon on their own."

"I know, sweetheart, but don't worry about something until it's actually a problem-_Oh_!" Kenna gasped and one hand jerked back from the sink to press against her stomach.

"What's wrong?" Carth demanded, almost dropping the glass he'd been drying.

"Nothing." Kenna grinned at him, eyes bright with emotion. "One of them kicked. Here." With her other hand, she guided his to where one of the babies was making his or her presence known. They had to wait a few seconds for round two, water from Kenna's hands dripping on the floor and seeping into her tunic and Carth's sleeve. When it came, Carth's hand twitched under hers.

"Have they done that before?"

She shook her head. "Not that I've felt. This was the first time."

"Well, I think that deserves a kiss." He slid both hands around to the small of her back.

"And _I_ think you just want an excuse to kiss me."

"I need an excuse?" he whispered, resting his forehead against hers.

"Mmm...no. Good point." Kenna tilted her chin up and let him kiss her.

** oOo**

"No way!" Mission's yelped disbelief reached them in the kitchen just as they finished.

Kenna raised an eyebrow. "I do believe he just beat her."

He had. When Carth and Kenna entered the living room, Dustil was smirking and Mission's mouth was hanging open. "I want a rematch," the Twi'lek demanded. "And quit smirking like that! One match outta five doesn't mean nothin'!"

"Mission, calm down." Kenna couldn't keep the laughter out of her voice. "If you're all worked up, you're more likely to make mistakes."

"Good point," Mission admitted, still giving Dustil the evil eye as she shuffled the deck. Kenna knew that look. It usually precluded some of the most ruthless pazaak ever seen in the galaxy.

Not that it had ever been directed at her. By her own admission, Kenna was lousy at pazaak. She had, however, watched several of Mission's games against Carth, and a few against Canderous. Both soldier and Mandalorian had earned That Look several times.

Despite Dustil's best efforts, Mission didn't lose another match. She wiped the table with him, just as Kenna had expected.

"Ha!" the teen gloated as she won the twentieth-and final-game by three.

"Glad we weren't playing for credits," Dustil muttered. "You're really good."

"Thanks." Mission beamed. "You're not too bad yourself. Where'd you learn to play?"

Dustil shrugged. "Little from one of the other guys working on the Restoration project. A little from a C-Sec officer who stops by sometimes when I'm on break. I even got a few tips from the pilot of the shuttle over here. He was really good. He might even beat you."

"Huh. I think I could take a pilot. Pure pazaak." She giggled. "No pun intended."

"Pure pazaak?" Dustil raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, y'know, easy as heck, not hard at all. It's not exactly a rare expression," Mission commented, stifling a yawn.

"Really? You're only the second person I've heard say it."

"And the first was?" Mission prodded as she cleaned up her deck.

"The shuttle pilot. He had to fix a shorted out wire when we stopped on Anaxes, part of the reason Czerka caught us to load their gizmo, and he said that when he got it fixed."

"Huh." Mission shrugged. "Maybe it's common among people who play lotsa pazaak. Cuz winning's easy if you have enough practice." She yawned. "I'm going to bed. G'night."

"Night, Mish." Kenna stretched, surrendering to a yawn of her own. "I think she has the right idea. Can you show Dustil where his room is, honey?"

"Sure, beautiful." Carth kissed her again before letting her go.

** oOo**

Kenna sat on the edge of the bed as she kicked off her boots and shrugged off her robes. _Pure pazaak. Where have I heard that before?_ Mission had said it once or twice while they were saving the galaxy, but she remembered hearing someone else say it. She frowned as she stripped off her tunic and reached for her nightshirt, the memory dancing around the edges of her mind but never fully forming. She yawned again. _I'm too tired to worry about it now. I'll figure it out in the morning._ She slid between the covers and was asleep the second her head hit the pillow.


	32. Unexpected Results

_ Revan strode through the Republic encampment on Serroco, hearing the whispers as people recognized who she was, some wondering why Alek wasn't with her. Her friend usually followed her everywhere. Today he was meeting with some of the Republic commanders to finalize plans for the battle they were certain would take place tomorrow. Revan had already memorized the plans; in fact, she had been responsible for creating most of them, and so opted to make sure the soldiers were prepared and ready for what was coming. The men and women saluted as she passed, most looking up from cleaning a blaster, or checking available upgrades for their weapons and armor._

_ One didn't. The young man was struggling with a faulty latch on his footlocker, and was so lost in his battle with it he didn't notice the Jedi approach._

_ "Having trouble, Race?" Revan asked, raising one eyebrow as the blonde soldier spun around and scrambled to his feet._

_ He touched his forehead in a hurried salute as he nodded. "Yes, ma'am. The latch keeps sticking. Rand said he'd take a look at it, but Teria challenged him to a game of pazaak, and-"_

_ "How long ago was that?"_

_ Race shrugged. "An hour? Maybe a little less."_

_ Revan sighed and rubbed her forehead. Rand was a promising soldier, one she was glad was on her side, but if you pulled out a pazaak deck, the man lost all track of time. She was about to say something when the soldier in question appeared as if out of nowhere._

_ "Don't talk about me behind my back, Race," he remonstrated the younger man, his smirk a good indication of how he'd fared against Teria. "Where's this damn footlocker of yours?"_

_ "Right there." Race motioned in the direction of the recalcitrant storage unit, slightly startled by Rand's sudden appearance. "How'd you do?"_

_ "Wiped the floor with her. Figuratiely speaking, of course," Rand grunted in satisfaction, fishing out a security spike and jamming it in the latch. A few simple twists and the lock reluctantly popped open. "Pure pazaak. There ya go, kid." He straightened and sauntered off, tossing Revan an almost careless salute as he left._

_ "Where'd we find him?" Race muttered as he fished his gear out of the footlocker._

_ Revan chuckled. She didn't know, but she didn't really care, the important point was that they __**had**__ found him at all._

** oOo**

Kenna had only one question when she woke up the next morning: _Why do I keep remembering things that involve __**him**__?_ All but one of the memories that had worked their way into the open had involved Rand, and she couldn't figure out why. She stretched lazily, bunching her pillow up against the headboard. A thought struck her: _Oh, Force, I hope he and I didn't..._ She let it trail off, sure the thought was ridiculous. Or, at least, she hoped it was ridiculous. Well, bar finding him-if he was even alive anymore-and asking him, she had no way of _knowing_, so Kenna simply shook her head at her imagination and rubbed one hand across her slightly expanded belly. _At least now I remember where else I'd heard "pure pazaak"._ She pushed herself up and ran one hand through her hair as she got out of bed. The house seemed suspiciously quiet. She was sure Mission and Dustil would have been promising to beat each other to a bloody pulp-figuratively speaking-in their duel.

She found out why it was so quiet when she walked down the hallway. They'd already left. That was easy enough to figure out when she saw Mission's vibroblades missing from their customary spot.

"Morning, sunshine," Carth teased gently, pulling her close for a hug.

"Morning," Kenna mumbled back, tilting her face up for a kiss. "What time is it? Did Mish and Dustil leave already?"

"It's ten, and yes, they left already," he replied, before obliging her with a brief kiss. "You sleep okay? You're normally up earlier."

She shrugged and leaned against his chest. "I think one of the twins is nocturnal. Wouldn't stop kicking. I got sleep, but I don't know how much of it."

"Sorry 'bout that, beautiful."

"Not your fault." Kenna shrugged again. "What really stinks is Leni told me no caffa because it might be bad for the babies."

"Oh, that is bad." Carth rubbed her back and hugged her again. "Well, we have the house to ourselves for a couple hours till Mish and Dustil get back. What do you want to do?"

Kenna let out a muffled groan. "Sleep."

** oOo**

"What kinda vibroblade you like to use?" Mission asked, spinning her own blades around experimentally as she watched Dustil peruse the weapons rack.

He shrugged. "Anything'll do." He finally settled on a vibroblade that was slightly longer than normal, swinging it a couple times to test the balance. "What's it like, living with them?"

She knew who he meant. "Normally it's pretty cool. I mean, they trust me an' know I can take care of myself. However, they've only been married, like, five months." She moved to the center of the practice mat, dropping into a ready stance. "They go all mushy-newlywed _way_ too much."

Dustil laughed as he joined her, both hands curled around the hilt of his chosen weapon. "I think that's all I need to know, thanks. Ready when you are."

"You sure about that?" Mission challenged, changing her grip slightly and shifting her weight to her back foot.

Dustil's response was to lunge forward, swinging the heavy vibroblade down so fast it was only her instincts that had her blades up to block it in time.

"Nice," Mission grunted, pushing her blades against his until he gave ground just a little bit. She whirled to the side and swung low, aiming for his knees. He was fast, in addition to strong, and just wasn't there when her blade swung through where his knee had been. This was going to take a different strategy than the Vulkars on Taris. She wondered briefly what they'd taught him at the Sith Academy as she ducked a strike aimed at her shoulder, retaliating with a swipe at his torso, which forced him to back up.

With more room available for swinging her blades, Mission felt a little more comfortable. _Come on, Mish, you can beat him! All that trash talkin' you did you __**better **__cream him!_ She swung her vibroblades down, one trailing slightly behind the other, hoping to catch Dustil off guard so that at least one of the blows would actually connect.

He blocked them both, moving faster than Mission had seen anyone but Kenna or Bastila move. "Is that the best you've got?"

"Not by a long shot, Onasi." Mission felt her temper rise. He was _good_. Really, really _**good**_. She was still sure she was better. She dropped to the mat and rolled, leading with her shoulder, bringing her vibroblades up and slashing at his legs. Dustil blocked both slashes, though one was only millimeters away from actually making contact. He pushed against their locked blades. Mission lost her already unsteady footing and tumbled backwards, twisting into position to block his quickly following attack.

Not fast enough. When she spun around, the tip of his vibroblade was roughly an inch from her eye, almost as if he'd _known_ where she would stop. Breathing hard and shooting him an Evil Eye Death Glare, Mission dropped her vibroblades. "You win."

Dustil smirked and let the vibroblade sink slightly.

Mission saw the opportunity and she took it. Scooping up her dropped blades, she lunged forward, shoving Dustil back hard enough he almost fell. He regained his footing and pushed back, just enough to create some space between them.

"That was a dirty trick," he muttered, parrying the swings aimed at his side.

"I'd think you'd know all about dirty tricks," she retorted, "With spendin' four years at the Sith Academy an' all."

"Oh, you want to follow the Sith rules?" he grinned.

"Did I say that?" Mission panted, refusing to let him see that she was wearing down. _I __**have**__ to beat him!_ She took a deep breath and attacked again. Dustil backed off, almost running from her, until he was near the rack of weapons. The long vibroblade clatterd to the floor as he switched it out for a double-bladed one.

Their duel went on. Both of them were tired, but neither was willing to admit it. They were so involved in the match, they didn't notice that they had attracted a small crowd. The length of the fight finally began wear on them.

"Come on, Mission, at least make me _work_ for it," Dustil goaded, slamming one end of the doubleblade against her crossed swords with enough force to knock the Twi'lek to the ground.

"Shut _**up**_, nerf-herder," Mission panted, pushing back and in no way ready to admit defeat. She gritted her teeth and scooted back far enough she was able to scramble to her feet. She threw herself towards Dustil, swinging her twin blades in opposing arcs.

Dustil blocked both of them, twisting away and grinning-_grinning_-as his dualblade hummed dangerously close to her lekku. Mission dodged backwards and blocked another strike. She spun to attack. Her blade missed, but on the backswing, the hilt knocked against Dustil's cheek, right below his eye.

He barely grunted in acknowledgement of the hit, instead swinging at her again.

Mission blocked it, but the force of it knocked her to the ground again. This time, Dustil was too quick for her. One edge of the doubleblade hovered by her neck and Dustil cracked a smile under his rapidly purpling eye. "Give up yet?"

Mission sighed, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she let her head fall back on the mat._ Rats._ "Yeah. For...for real this time," she promised, letting go of her swords. Dustil's smile widened and he reached down to offer her a hand up. "Thanks. And sorry about your eye."

He shrugged. "A black eye's no big deal. I've had worse, believe me."

Mission grinned sheepishly as she picked up her swords, letting them hang loosely in her tired hands. "Guess I can't beat you."

"You're still one of the best I've ever fought, including some of the instructors at the Academy."

She raised an eyebrow at that. "Really?"

He nodded. "Really. And I promise not to make any more comments about your age."

"Good. 'Cause I wouldn't be responsible for my actions if you did," Mission teased, punching him in the arm.

He laughed.

** oOo**

Kenna opened one eye as Mission dragged herself into the living room and dropped onto the couch. "I saw Dustil's eye. Is that a good indicator of how it went?"

"He creamed me."

The other eye popped open, and Kenna stared at the exhausted Twi'lek. "He _what_?"

"He creamed me," Mission repeated with a chuckle. "I didn't give him the slightest bit of a break, didn't take it easy on him, and he _whupped _my _tail. _I like him."

Kenna pushed herself upright in her chair and grinned at the assessment. "Ya do, huh? I'm still trying to get over the fact he beat you."

"Shocked me, too," Mission admitted. "But he's really, really good. He'd give Bastila a hard time, and might even make you break a sweat. I think he's cool. Can he visit again sometime?"

"Mish, he's not even leaving from this one for another five days," Kenna laughed. "Let's wait until then to start planning the next visit."

"Oh, okay. I hope he an' Carth work out whatever they've got left to work out so he can visit a _lot_. And you know the coolest part?" Mission continued after letting silence reign for a few seconds, "He was really nice about it. He didn't rub my face in it, or say anything about all the bragging I was doin' or anything. Just told me I was really good and helped me up. I think we might just end up friends."

"Just possibly?" Kenna laughed.

"Yep. That'll give Carth more motivation to work things out, wouldn't it?" Mission sat up and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "I mean, if Dustil and I were friends and he visited a lot, things would be a lot easier if everything was cleared up between him and Carth."

"Very true," Kenna agreed. "But I wouldn't try to use that as leverage, Mish, okay? Just let them work things out themselves."

"I know, I know. Hey, what did you do while we were gone? Or do I not wanna know?"

"Very funny, Mission Vao. Actually it was really boring. All I did was sleep."

Mission raised an eyebrow at that. "But you already overslept this morning."

"One of the twins is apparently either nocturnal or a very restless sleeper. He or she was kicking all night long. I didn't get much sleep."

"Oh. Sorry. You know it's probably just gonna get worse, right?"

Kenna rolled her eyes and leaned over to bop the Twi'lek. "Don't remind me."

**oOo**

Carth looked up as Dustil walked past. "How'd it go?"

Dustil shrugged. "I won," he replied, a half smirk pulling at one side of his mouth. "She's really good, though."

"So I see. Nice shiner," Carth commented upon noticing the purplish-blue swelling around Dustil's eye.

His son snorted an almost-laugh. "Thanks." He started to head for his room, then turned back. "How'd she end up traveling with you guys anyway?"

Carth chuckled. "Ask her. It's _much_ more interesting the way she tells it."

Dustil raised an eyebrow. "Now I'm really intrigued. Did you get along?"

"As long as I didn't offend her independent streak by trying to tell her what to do. The fastest way to get her mad at me was to try and act like her father."

"Glad you thought to do it with _someone_," Dustil muttered under his breath.

Carth sighed. _Now's as good time as any, since he gave me an opening. _"Dustil, look." He raked ine hand through his hair. "For whatever it's worth, I'm sorry."

Dustil crossed his arms. "Sorry for _what_?"

"For not being there as much as I should have. For making you think I didn't care. I don't know, what do _you_ think I need to apologize for?"

"That'll work, for starters. Right now's not a good time to talk, Father. I need a shower and food, in that order. Then maybe I'll be in the mood to talk."

Carth nodded. "If you say so."

"Well, after I get Mission to tell me how she wound up traveling with you."

"If she seems a little hesitant, it's because the story involves Big Z, and she still misses him," Carth warned.

"Got it."

**oOo**

"I don't understand him," Carth admitted to Kenna that night.

"Whaddya mean?" Kenna mumbled sleepily, tugging the blankets higher around her shoulders.

"We really need to talk, but I'd swear he's avoiding it. It's like he _wants_ things to stay the way they are."

"Maybe he's worried you'll spend more time trying to explain your reasons than listening to him," Kenna pointed out. "Like on Korriban."

She was right, and he knew it, but it still hurt that she seemed to be taking Dustil's side. "That was different."

"How?" She rolled over to face him. "Carth, I'm not trying to fight with you or say you were wrong or anything, I'm just saying that maybe Dustil thinks you'll be too busy defending yourself again to listen to his side of things."

"So I need to just let him think I didn't care about him?"

Kenna sighed. _Force, I'm too tired to argue... _"No. But listening to _his_ side is important, too, Carth."

"I know that-"

"Remember that he's _your_ son, and that's blatantly obvious, personality-wise," Kenna interrupted. "You both need to work on _listening_. He's got problems with it, too."

"So why're you lecturing _me_ about it?"

"Because I already took him to task for doing the same thing. Not listening, I mean." She was trying to stay calm, but she was tired. And more than a little cranky.

Carth frowned in confusion. "When?"

"On Telos, after he, y'know, saved your life? Remember that? I ran into him when I got to the med center. We only talked for a couple minutes, but I still managed to slip in a remonstrance that he needs to listen to your side of things in the course of our conversation."

"Oh."

Kenna bit her lip. "Look, can we talk about this in the morning? I'm really tired, and both of the babies are quiet, so I'd really like to get some sleep while I can."

"Sure thing, beautiful."

_A/N: Sorry it's taken so long! The Writer's Block demon gave me a really hard time with this one No promises when the next chapter will come, but there will be more._


	33. When Duty Calls

**Happy New Year, loyal readers! And a huge THANK YOU for your patience!**

Another couple days of Dustil's visit had passed when the one thing Carth had been worrying about happening occured.

He and Dustil had finally gotten a chance to talk-Mission had been monopolizing his son's time 'til now-and had started working through some of the knottier issues that lay between them. They were a good hour into their conversation, without yelling at each other, which was a very good sign, when Mission leaned around the doorframe.

"Sorry to interrupt, but Carth, there 's a call comin' in for you on the wall holo in your room," she informed him. "It's marked urgent, too."

_Oh, no..._There was only one place where anything coming for him could originate from that would be marked urgent, and it was the one place he couldn't tell no. _Not this week. Please not this week._ "I'll be right back." He heard Mission challenge Dustil to a pazaak match while they waited, and despite the fact he rarely won, Dustil took her up on that. Carth chuckled. The two of them were fast becoming friends, so much so that he would bet every medal he'd ever been awarded that even if things only ended up being coolly civil between him and his son, Dustil would still visit. Often. That was a good thing. Mission needed a new best friend; if his son happened to fill that spot, Carth would be happy for both of them.

He shook his head as he reached the bedroom and slid the door shut behind him. Taking a deep breath, he hit the button to accept the incoming call. "Admiral Dodonna?"

The Admiral looked distinctly displeased with herself. "Carth, I hate to do this to you, but something's come up, attacks in the Tingel Arm, near the end of the Daragon Trail."

Carth frowned. "Around Korriban? Couldn't it just be pirates?"

Dodonna sighed. "That's what they want you to find out."

"What, _now_?" Carth stared at her in disbelief. "Dustil's still here; it took him weeks to get permission to visit. We have no idea when this will even be possible again." _Not again. I can't put my career over my son again._ "Isn't there anyone else who can go?"

Dodonna shook her head. "I"m sorry, Carth. They wanted someone who's at least a Vice-Admiral, and of course when your name showed up on the list, someone decided it would be wise to send someone of your...reputation, just in case this isn't just pirates. I told them your son was visiting, you would be distracted, that it would be better to send someone else, but they were already busy fantasizing all the good press it would bring, sending a hero to 'deal decisively' with the problem."

_I never wanted that damn promotion. Sith's blood, this just figures._ "Admiral, I..." Carth took a deep breath and raked his hand through his hair. "One of the biggest things Dustil and I have to work out is how I was always on missions, how my duty to the Republic always seemed to win over my duty to him and...and his mother. I can't do this now."

"Carth, there's no way out of it," Dodonna told him gently. "They want _you._ One of the people killed in the latest attack was a Senator's sister. They have a shuttle preparing to leave in two hours from the military base. You need to be on it. They told me to tell you that if you're late, or don't show, there will be...disciplinary measures taken."

_Nice way of saying 'dishonorable discharge and probable jail time',_ Carth grumbled mentally. "I understand, Admiral. Thank you for trying. I'll..." He sighed. "I'll be there. Which platform?"

"24-C. Carth, I really am sorry."

"I know, Admiral. It's not your fault." Carth jammed the button to end the call, far harder than necessary. He raked his hand back through his already tousled hair before slamming his fist into the wall and swearing under his breath. _Now I just have to tell Kenna...and Dustil._ His stomach twisted into a hard knot at having to tell his son that, yet again, his career was yanking him away from his family. _There goes all the progress we managed to make..._

**oOo**

Dustil and Mission were still playing pazaak when he reached the main room of the house, Kenna taking a break from whatever she had been working on to watch them. He smiled as he saw her absently rub one hand over her barely rounding stomach, pausing and smiling when she felt one of the babies kick._ Sith's blood, I don't want to go._ For the briefest moment, and the first time in his life, Carth regretted making his career in the military. _Don't be silly,_ a voice in his head scolded,_ If you weren't career military, you wouldn't have met Kenna. Or even Morgana. Remember?_ He did. And the two of them made this more than worth it.

He crossed the room to sit next to Kenna, who almost instinctively shifted position to sit closer to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked, seeing his expression.

"Admiral Dodonna called."

"What about?" Kenna pressed warily.

"They're sending me out toward the Daragon Trail, near Korriban, to investigate a series of attacks."

"Now?" Kenna sat up. "But Dustil-"

"I know. They don't care. Some frackin' Senator's sister got killed, so it _has_ to be the Republic's hero from the Jedi Civil Wars that investigates." He sighed. "I'm sorry, Ken. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"I understand, Carth. How're you going to tell Dustil?"

"Tell him what?" Mission asked, suddenly more interested in their conversation than whipping Dustil's tail at pazaak for-literally-the fiftieth time.

"That I've been ordered, and all but threatened with many nasty results if I refuse, to go investigate a series of attacks out near Korriban." He caught the look that flickered across Dustil's face ever so briefly. "I'm sorry, Dustil. If there was any way to get out of it, I would, in a heartbeat. I want to make things right between us, and I know _this_ is not the way to do it."

"Couldn't I come with you?" Dustil suggested, "It's not like I can't handle myself in a fight."

"Yeah, if he can kick my butt, you know he's good," Mission chipped in.

Carth chuckled at that. "I'll ask. But if I say anything about you having combat training, they're going to ask where from, and you know what's going to happen if I tell them _that_."

"True," Dustil conceded. "Still, I'd appreciate it if you at least asked."

Carth nodded. "I will then, and right now."

**oOo**

"You really wanna do this?" Mission asked after Carth had left the room.

"I do. It's a chance to spend more time with him, maybe work a few more things out. I mean, the Daragon Trail is halfway across the galaxy; it's going to take a while to get there. We'll have time to talk." He grinned. "And maybe you can polish up your dueling technique enough you actually make me work for the win a little bit next time we spar."

"You-" Mission sputtered, then laughed. "Okay, so you're a better fighter than me. I can still wipe the table with you in pazaak."

"Freely concede the point," Dustil admitted with a wry laugh. "At least I've gotten better."

"True. You're to the point I'd say only Canderous or Carth would beatcha, out of the _Hawk_'s crew." She grinned. "And that's a compliment. If I ever say Kenna could beat you, well," she shrugged, "you know you're just about the worst pazaak player _ever_."

"Mission Vao!" Kenna protested.

"What? You've said yourself you're terrible at it. You can save the galaxy with your eyes closed, but you can't win a game of pazaak to save your life. And _you_ told me that on Rakata Prime, so don't try to deny it."

"I'm not trying to deny it, I'm just saying some things just don't need to be repeated," Kenna defended.

Dustil laughed. "It makes some of us feel better though; knowing you aren't perfect," he pointed out.

"Well, fine then," Kenna grumbled. "I'm terrible at pazaak and not too much better at cooking. My areas of expertise lie in a more...combat oriented arena."

"In other words, she can whup just about anyone's tail," Mission interjected.

"Maybe not right now." Kenna rubbed one hand over her stomach. "But normally, yes. On a good day I could whup about five people at once."

"Could a few of them be protocol-obsessed bureaucrats?" Carth grumbled as he emerged from the hallway.

"I'm guessing they said no." Dustil kept his eyes on the pazaak game rather than look up at his father.

"They did. All they heard was me asking permission for my seventeen year old son to tag along on a military assignment." Carth sighed in frustration. "I'm sorry, son."

"S'alright, Father. At least you tried." Dustil shrugged in resignation. "C'mon, Mish, let's finish the game and then I can kick your tail in another sparring match."

**oOo**

_I hate this._ The thought didn't stop circling in Carth's mind the entire time he was preparing for the assignment. And it showed in the impatient way he yanked out his uniform and dressed for duty the one week in his life he didn't want to.

"Carth." Kenna stepped up behind him as he glared at his reflection in the mirror, hating his promotion, hating the politics that came with it, hating that he had to leave. "Don't leave like this." She wrapped her arms around him, snuggling as close to his back as possible.

"Like what, beautiful?"

"Angry," she replied gently. "Dustil's not mad at you. I think this time he understands that there are times you can't say no. Isn't the fact you two didn't get in a fight over this a sign of progress?"

"Unless he's just quietly stewing over it," Carth pointed out. "He and Mission still out there?"

She shook her head. "They left to go spar. Dustil said something about being tired of losing. Made Mission laugh."

Carth chuckled. "Good."

Kenna nodded against his back. "I know. I'm glad the two of them are getting along so well. I was starting to worry about her. She never wants to talk about Big Z."

"It's hard losing a friend, Ken. Especially one as close as those two were."

"I know." Kenna gave a wry smile. "I know I must have lost friends in the Wars, even if I can't remember, and besides, I had to kill one of them."

"You mean Malak."

"Mm-hm. And I know he was a completely different person, having been twisted by the dark side and everything, but I couldn't help wondering the whole time I was fighting him if there was _any_ of _Alek_ left inside him." She sighed. "I know it's different. But still..."

Carth turned and kissed her on the forehead. "And I know what you mean, honey. I'm thrilled Mission and Dustil are getting along so well. I'm glad he doesn't seem to hate me anymore, either."

Kenna chuckled. "That is a good thing." She sighed. "But you have to leave now, don't you?"

He nodded. "Sorry, beautiful." He tipped her chin up to kiss her goodbye. "Hopefully I'll be back soon. 'Til then, make sure the kids stay in line."

"Will do, Vice-Admiral," she teased, kissing him again. "G'bye, Carth."

"Good-bye, Kenna." He stole one last kiss before grabbing his bag and heading out the door.

**oOo**

The knot of rebellion in his stomach only continued to grow the whole trip to the landing platform. As he crossed to the open door of the shuttle that would take him to the ship being used for this mission, Carth wanted nothing more than to slam some bureaucratic skulls together. He honestly tried to take Kenna's advice and not leave angry, but when he was being used to advance some damn politician's career-maybe at the cost of repairing long burnt bridges with his son-it was hard, and he couldn't keep the edge of anger off his stride.

"Good to see you, Vice-Admiral," the shuttle pilot greeted him. "A lot of people feel much better about our chances of success with you along, sir." Carth just nodded and let one of the privates waiting silently at attention take his bag. He wasn't going to vent his frustration on the pilot. The man had nothing to do with Carth being yanked away from his family, and it wouldn't be fair to lash out at him. _Now, if one of those fracking Senators shows up, that may be a different story._

"We all set?" he asked, mentally counting the personnel standing on the platform.

The pilot nodded. "Now that you're here, sir. We can leave whenever you're ready."

_Poor choice of words, soldier_. "Well, then let's get moving. Sooner we leave, the sooner we can be back."

"Sounds good to me, sir," the pilot grinned, before hollering for the rest of the men and women standing on the platform to load up.

**oOo**

The shuttle flight up to the cruiser was short enough, and the surrounding void of space helped dull the edge of Carth's anger quite a bit. This _was_, after all, one of the places he felt most at home; out in space. It had been the _only_ place he felt at home for a long time, ever since Telos, but Kenna had caused a serious shift in that regard.

Carth had to smile slightly at that realization as he headed for the cruiser's cockpit. He wanted to meet the pilot. If he couldn't fly the ship himself, knowing it was in good hands would have to do.

They were well on their way by the time he reached the cockpit, so the pilot and co-pilot were only occupied with keeping things steady. The dark-skinned co-pilot noticed him first.

"Devyn." She nudged the pilot's shoulder, causing the man to look up from fiddling with the controls.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Vice-Admiral," he apologized, switching control of the ship to the co-pilot so he could give Carth his full attention. "Lieutenant Commander Devyn T'Oor. I've been piloting the _Triumph_ the whole five years she's been in service. She handles like a dream." You couldn't miss the pride in the man's voice if you tried. He, like many pilots-if not all-viewed the cruiser as his baby.

Carth knew how that felt. He wasn't the type to resort to using his fists quickly, but one of the only fights he'd gotten in-and the only one he'd _started_-while Telos militia was when a private had made a snide comment about his ship. The man ended up with a black eye, a bloody nose, and several other nasty bruises that Carth counted more than worth the formal reprimand he received. He indulged in a brief smile at the memory before returning his attention to the pilot.

"...co-pilot is Lieutenant Jayde Ferric. She's flown with me on the _Triumph_'s last eight trips out the Daragon Trail. She knows this ship almost as well as I do."

"Honor to meet you, sir," the woman smiled at him. "Though I do have to clarify, I'm still a junior grade Lieutenant."

"Well, not for much long, Jay," Devyn pointed out. "You'll make full Lieutenant soon. Trust me."

"Hope you're right." She turned her attention back to the controls as Devyn briefed Carth on the finer details of their mission. By the time he finished, Carth could feel a first class headache starting.

"Alright," he sighed, more sure than ever that this was a serious case of politicians overreacting to run of the mill piracy because someone they actually cared about was affected. "Let me know if anything out of the ordinary happens on the way. For now, I'll be in my cabin."

"Yes, sir," Devyn and Jayde replied in unison.

**oOo**

By the time he reached his cabin, Carth wanted to do nothing more than dump this assignment in someone else's lap; even more than he had before. He was reaching for the keypad to open the door when a pair of voices floated out of the cabin.

"...you know we'd get in _huge_ trouble."

"Should've thought about that sooner. This whole thing was _your_ idea."

_Oh, Sith's blood..._He sighed, rubbed at the still-pounding headache, and keyed in the the door code. It slid open with a quiet woosh.

The two uniform-clad trespassers whirled to face him, guilt written across their faces.

"Hi, Carth." Mission grinned sheepishly. "Um...I can explain."

"Yes. _She_ can explain everything," Dustil grumbled, shooting his partner in crime a dirty look. "The whole thing was her idea, so it's only fair."

Carth groaned and leaned back against the wall. _I should have known... _"So explain, Mission."

"Well, we really were gonna go spar, honest, but the usual place was closed. A pipe burst and they were repairin' water damage...or somethin'. So I knew about this _other_ place, not as nice, an' further from your place, but still okay. And it, um, was near the Republic shuttle platforms. So we, like, walked right past this whole pallet of uniforms they were shippin' somewhere, and I got this crazy idea-"

"Yes, 'crazy' is the perfect adjective," Dustil interrupted dryly. "At the time she was calling it brilliant," he explained to his father when Carth raised an eyebrow at him.

"_Anyway_, I got this idea that if we took a couple of the uniforms, we could, y'know, come with you. You _know_ how good I am in a fight, and if Dustil can beat me, he must be better, right?" The Twi'lek didn't wait for him to answer before continuing. "So I talked him into this scheme of mine, we took the uniforms, snuck on the shuttle, and, um, here we are." She offered him an angelic smile, one that begged to not get shipped down to the next planet they passed to go home.

"And you didn't think how much trouble this would cause?" Carth asked her, thinking mostly of Kenna's reaction to the two of them sneaking off. It would be a lie to say he wasn't wondering how to explain this to Republic Command, should they find out.

"No, and I'm really, really sorry. But now that we're here, can we stay? _Please_?"

Carth looked at Dustil. "What about you, Dustil? You want to stay, too?"

Dustil nodded, his brown eyes serious. "I would, Father. If...if we could."

Mind already sifting through enough possible solutions it was doubling his headache, Carth stared at the ceiling for a minute. "Alright," he finally sighed. "Let me get my hands on a crew roster. I'll see if there are any empty bunkrooms, or if anyone's short a roommate. If we have the space, you can stay-"

"_Thank you!_" Mission practically squealed-a sound he'd never heard her make before-and hugged him.

"Hang on, Mission. There's a couple conditions on staying. First, you have to do what I say. This isn't like the _Hawk_. This is a military vessel, and I'm in charge. Clear?"

She nodded. "Uh-huh."

"Second, _if_ we run into the pirates or whatever is behind these attacks, _no heroics_." He looked at Dustil. "That goes for both of you."

"Sure." The young man nodded. "Follow orders, no heroics. I think we can manage that. I know I can."

"I can, too!" Mission protested before turning her attention back to Carth. "And if we do that stuff, we get to stay?"

Carth nodded. "Yes. You can stay."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she hugged him tighter.

Dustil chuckled at her enthusiastic reaction as he met Carth's eyes. "Thanks, Dad."

In that one short sentence, Carth felt the rift between them start to close.

_A/N: Finally! I am so, so, so sorry it took so freaking long to get another chapter for this up. Besides having to wrangle very uncooperative muses into submission, I've had a lot of other fanfic stuff I've had to do too(mostly Dragon Age, and all on my deviantART page. Probably won't move it here, as none of it's in Rahna's universe). But, at last, I prevailed! *smirks triumphantly at subdued muses* I know Mission and Dustil sneaking on isn't exactly original, but, um, it seemed like a very 'Mission' thing to do. And I have a feeling this little escapade will cement Dustil as her new best friend. :D Hopefully the next chapter won't take so long to get up. But I make no promises._


	34. Next Move

Kenna had only just dozed off on the couch when the wall holo beeped. She groaned, raking her hair out of her eyes as she shoved herself to her feet and crossed the room to hit the accept button.

The screen stayed fuzzy grey for a few seconds more, a recorded voice informing her that the following message had been pre-recorded and sent from the Black Sky Cantina terminal. She frowned at that; the cantina was over toward the Republic landing platforms, and she didn't know anyone who would be contacting her from there. Carth was at least to the ship by now, if not halfway across the galaxy. Still, curiosity got the best of her, and she let the message play.

An orange-tinged holo image of Mission formed on the screen. "Hey, Kenna. Um, first of all, don't get mad at Carth. Or Dustil. This is all my idea, but Dustil pointed out you'd get worried if we just up and disappeared, so I rigged the terminal to send this after we're already gone. Yes, I can do that." She grinned, glancing to the side. "The shuttle's leavin' soon, so I only have a minute. We're goin' with Carth. I know sneakin' on a military-grade ship is crazy and dangerous, but that's what makes it so fun. I love livin' with you guys, but the quiet life's gotten a little _too _quiet, you know? And Dustil and I both feel that it's a load of bantha fodder, Carth havin' to leave now. So we decided to go with him. Dustil gets more time with Carth, I get adventure, and I mean, goin' after pirates is always cool, right?"

"Mission, if we're goin' we gotta go now!" Dustil's voice came from off-screen.

"Alright, I'm comin'!" she hollered toward him, before turning back to the holoscreen. "So, yeah, I gotta go. But we'll be with Carth, so we'll be safe. I'm real sorry 'bout leavin' you alone. Get lotsa sleep, and call Bastila if you need anything, I guess. Bye, Ken!" The image froze as she spun away from the recorder, the words 'End of Message' appearing across the screen

Kenna stared at it, not sure whether to laugh at how very _Mission_ both the plan and the message were or worry about them despite Mission's assurance it wasn't necessary. The teen excelled at flying by the seat of her pants, and with Dustil along to be a voice of reason, they would most likely be fine. Especially if they managed to find Carth. But with her hormones in overdrive thanks to the twins, Kenna couldn't help but worry. They were going after a rather trigger-happy group of pirates, after all. Finally, the Jedi sighed, resigning herself to the fact they were long gone and there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it. _I hope you know what you're doing, you two._

Even as she started to turn away, the screen let out a beep, indicating another incoming call. Kenna was pretty sure she knew what this one was, even as she accepted it.

"Hey, beautiful."

She'd been right. "Hey, Carth. Miss me already?"

He chuckled. "More than you know. But that's not my reason for calling."

"I think there's actually two reasons," Kenna smirked. "Namely your son and a certain teenaged Twi'lek who claims to be the genius mastermind? Mission sent a holo," she explained when her husband started to ask how she knew. "I'll be fine, now that I know they're with you. Assuming you're going to let them stay?"

Carth nodded. "There's a couple bunkrooms with empty beds, and they're more than capable of taking care of themselves." He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Besides, if Dustil went through all the trouble to get time for us to talk, who am I to tell him no?"

"Who, indeed?" Kenna chuckled. "Why do I have a feeling you're actually happy about this turn of events?"

"Guilty as charged," Carth admitted. "He called me Dad, Kenna. Not Father, _Dad_. If I have to bend a few rules to fix things with him, I'll do it."

"And that's why I love you," she replied. "Be safe. And keep _them_ safe too, yeah?"

"Of course." Carth nodded. "One of the conditions of them getting to stay is no heroics if we actually run into pirates."

"Good. I'll see you when you get back, then. Love you, flyboy."

"Love you, too, gorgeous." Carth closed the connection, and the screen went blank.

Kenna waited a minute, just to make sure no more calls were coming in before she retreated to the bedroom for a much-needed nap.

**oOo**

"Is she mad?" Mission hesitated in the doorway to Carth's cabin. "Don't worry, I only heard enough to know it was Kenna."

"No, she's not mad," he replied with a smile. "It's Kenna, Mission. You know it's nearly impossible for you to make her mad."

"The key word there being _nearly_," Mission pointed out. "I know she's had some really bad days with the morning sickness an' all, so I was worried that this might fit in that _nearly_."

"Ah. I see. Well, she's not, so you can stop worrying, kiddo."

Mission gave him a dirty look for that. "Carth! What have I told you?"

"Sorry. It slipped out. But what're you doing back here, anyway?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I wanted to see if you'd called Kenna yet. To see if she was mad, y'know?" Mission finally stepped all the way into the room, leaning back against the wall.

"Mission, no one's going to believe you're actually supposed to be here if you act so casual around someone who's several ranks above you."

"Yes, sir, Vice-Admiral, sir," she teased, straightening. "It can't help things if you keep using my first name, either."

"And it really can't help things that everyone in the galaxy known the name _Mission Vao_, and knows that she's a fourteen year old girl," Carth pointed out. "So, you get to be somebody else for while we're up here."

"Oh?" She raised an eyebrow suspiciously. "And who would that be, _sir_?"

Carth just grinned and held out an ID badge.

Mission all but snatched it out of his hand. "Are you serious?" she demanded after reading the name.

Carth cleared his throat.

She sighed. "Sir. Are you serious, sir?"

"As death, _ensign._"

"Day'Naa Mission sounds fake even to me!" Mission protested. "And you still get to call me Mission while I hafta call you Vice-Admiral, or sir or whatever," she huffed. "Doesn't seem very fair."

"Welcome to the Republic Navy," Carth chuckled. "Where life is rarely fair."

"What about Dustil? Dontcha think his last name might raise some suspicions, Vice-Admiral _Onasi_, sir?"

"I'm working on that. I took care of you first because there was more work involved, and Dustil has enough training-even if it was a different military-to blend in."

"Oh. So where'm I staying, sir?" She slid the ID badge in her pocket.

"Hope you don't mind sharing." Carth handed over a datapad. "Your bunk and duty assignment. You can figure out where to go, right?"

"I always can," Mission muttered, scanning the information on the screen. "Roommate... Kyra Gold. With a name like that, she sounds more like a smuggler or stripper than a soldier."

"Something I imagine she hears all the time, so zip it, alright?" Carth warned. "Getting along with your bunkmate is a pretty major part of blending in, ensign."

"Okay, okay, I got it, Vice-Admiral, sir." Mission tossed him a salute and turned to leave.

"Just a second, Mish. Can you give these to Dustil?" Carth handed her an ID badge and datapad for his son.

"Sure thing, sir." Mission gave him the evil eye. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"A little, yeah," Carth admitted with a grin.

The Twi'lek rolled her eyes and left, muttering under her breath. Carth was pretty sure he was being compared to Gamorrean sewer trash again. Nothing he could do about that; Mission had asked for it with sneaking on the ship.

**oOo**

"Here. These are from Carth." Mission sat down next to Dustil and shoved the ID badge and datapad into his hands. "A cover of sorts. Hope yours is better than mine."

Dustil chuckled as he took the stuff from her. "Why?"

"Does Ensign Day'Naa Mission sound like as fake a name to you as it does to me?" she demanded.

"No. I think it'll work just fine," the older boy grinned at her as he keyed up his assignment."

"Must be an Onasi thing," Mission grumbled. She did a double take when Dustil's information popped up on the screen. "Lieutenant Dustil Sian... _Lieutenant_? That... that... bantha-brained nerfherder!" she sputtered. "You outrank me too? I'm gonna kill him when we get home."

"Now, now, Ensign, that's no way to be talking about the Vice Admiral." Dustil smirked as he slid the ID in his pocket and scrolled through the datapad.

Mission groaned and leaned her forehead on Dustil's shoulder. "This might be harder than I thought..."

Dustil chuckled and reached over to pat her shoulder consolingly. "He had to give us ranks that wouldn't arouse suspicion. You really think you could pull off an Admiral or even a Captain?"

"Well... prob'ly not," she admitted. "Still... I think he did it on purpose because this whole thing was my idea."

"No, a lieutenant would talk to a Vice-Admiral more than an ensign," Dustil explained. "Even if not by much. It's more to make it easier for the two of us to talk than to get back at you. Sith's blood, you're suspicious, _Day'Naa._"

"I'm going to my room now. This to save you from getting pummeled by an ensign, Lieutenant," Mission growled.

She could her Dustil laughing behind her as she walked away.

**oOo**

_The tunnel was cold, frigid breezes seeming to emanate from the very walls. Kenna shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself, wondering what she was doing in this place wearing only pants, boots, and a light-weight tunic. "I'm smarter than this..." she muttered as she trudged on, shivering._

_ Eerie as the long tunnel was, something about it also seemed familiar, in the chilling, aching sense that clung to her memories from when she was Revan. But this wasn't a memory; she was too aware of herself. This was something else, which scared her even more. But she didn't know why._

_**Revan.**_

_** We knew you'd come.**_

_** You do love them, don't you?**_

_ The voices surrounded her. They seemed to coming from the shadows that cloaked the tunnel walls and they sounded very familiar. She heard them from the Star Forge._

_ They sounded angrier this time. _

_ "What do you want?" she hollered, feeling foolish talking to the air. But there was no one to see, no one to hear, except __**them**__._

_**You, Revan. We just want you.**_

_ "You can't have me," she muttered. "Never again. I defeated you once, I can do it again. And threatening Carth is only going to make me more determined to do it fast."_

_ A sinister chuckle came from ahead. When she looked up, the tunnel only went a short distance further before ending in a room painted red by the light that filled it._

_**No, not him, Revan.**_

_** Them.**_

_ A dark shape, human in height and shape, but black as pitch materialized, holding something in each hand. Kenna nearly stopped breathing when she realized what, or rather who, it held._

_ Two babies. _

_ Her babies._

_ "No!" She lunged forward, reaching toward the figure, but it simply backed out of reach as she slammed into some invisible wall._

_**They will be ours, Revan.**_

_** Unless you can stop us first, Master.**_

_** You want to stop us, don't you?**_

_** The next move is yours, Revan.**_

_ The voices mocked her, laughing at her until the sound filled the room._

_ "You can't have them!" she screamed._

**oOo**

She woke up screaming, crying, drenched in sweat, and gasping for breath. She pressed shaking hands against her belly, simeltaneously glad Carth hadn't been there and wishing he _was_.

_It was just a dream, Kenna. Just a dream._ There were no dark whispers when she was awake. They were things of her nightmares. This was what she got for going to bed still stressing over Dustil and Mission. That had to be it.

As she reached for the wall-holo to call Bastila, she knew she didn't believe herself.

_A/N: Once again I triumph over the writer's block demons(and my Thedas-based captors xD) and offer sincere apologies for the long wait. Thank you ever so much if you're still reading this! I wish I could find you and hug you. Seriously. You're awesome._


End file.
